


As We Are

by heytheregisela



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Bullying, Child Abuse, Foster Care AU, High School AU, Junior High AU, M/M, Mavin, Mentions of Death, Neglect, RageHappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:34:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 162,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2247579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heytheregisela/pseuds/heytheregisela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Foster Care/High School AU) Geoff and Griffon Ramsey always wanted to start a family, but after numerous failures, Geoff came up with the idea of opening up their home as a foster one. It was a way to look out for those who really had no where else to go, and they kept in mind that it would be a challenge, but they were up for it. And Gavin, Ray, Lindsay, and Michael were the ones who happened to step into their lives. Each of them came with a different story, but they will soon come to find something in each other.</p><p>Find the playlist <a href="http://8tracks.com/heytheregisela/as-we-are-playlist">here.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This will definitely be eventual Mavin, but Lindsay and Ray will play big roles in the fic as well as of course, Geoff and Griffon. Anyway, I said I wouldn’t start this fic until after A Week’s Worth, but I couldn’t help myself. SO much inspiration. Let me know what you think of it so far. I’m pretty excited :D I will also tag chapters with t/w!! For this chapter, it's only mentions of child abuse and neglect.

Geoff knew there would be a process; of course there was going to be a process. He understood he and Griffon needed to be checked to be qualified to have kids of all ages live under their roof, even if it was just for a short period of time – in some cases, it would be for longer. What he didn't expect, though, was how long it would actually take. It felt like months, going over stacks of papers and papers, meetings, and caretakers – it was exhausting.

“We're good people,” Geoff told Griffon in bed the night before they were going to be told whether they were to be allowed to be apart of the foster care program. “I'm sure everything will be fine.”

Griffon turned over to face him, not a hint of a smile on her face. “I hope so,” she said softly, “because Geoff, I'm so tired of all the disappoints. I just want _one_ good thing to happen.”

“Our marriage doesn't count as a good thing?” Geoff asked, pouting a bit for dramatic effect.

Griffon managed a smile at that. “Of course,” she said, “It's the best thing to ever happen to me, but I'm talking about the next step. It's all been disappointments. I'm ready for good news.”

Geoff searched for his wife's hand under the sheets and when he found it, he grabbed it and he brought it up to his mouth.

“I promise you,” he started, “that I'll do _anything_ to get you a child that you can love, care for, and help them grow up wise and strong. I'll do anything to help your dream come true.”

“Oh, Geoff,” Griffon smiled fondly as Geoff kissed her hand. “Well, I guess we should get some sleep, then. We don't want to seem tired during our meeting, do we?”

Geoff shook his head and smiled. They got themselves comfortable, and Geoff was able to find the right spot on his side that helped him drift off easily. Griffon, however, found herself on her back again, staring up at the ceiling.

Even if foster homes sometimes meant the child would only be there until they were adopted or brought back together with their birth parents by some miracle, it would still mean the world to Griffon to be able to watch over someone. Whether it was just for three days or three years, Griffon wanted it to happen.

“Oh, please,” she whispered to no one in particular, “Please give us this opportunity.” With that, she closed her eyes and found the sleep she needed.

The next morning was mostly dealt in silence as the two of them got dressed and ready. Geoff was mostly smiles, though, feeling confident in this. He just had a really good feeling. Griffon wanted to have that same good feeling, but she couldn't shake the little doubt away.

Arriving at the building, Griffon hesitated a moment, and Geoff waited inside the car with her until she sighed and stepped out.

“The moment I met you two, I knew it was meant to be,” Sarah, the foster care specialist, said to the Ramseys as she walked them to her office.

Geoff smiled at that. He and Griffon took their seats across from Sarah.

“So you two really are committed to this, right?” Sarah asked them.

Griffon nodded. “Of course we are,” she answered, “And I think we've been through enough meetings, enough training, to really grasp the idea and responsibility of this whole thing.”

The corners of Sarah's lips rose as she nodded. “I know that,” she said. She looked through a folder before pulling out a specific paper. Geoff and Griffon exchanged looks, but said nothing as they looked at Sarah again.

“This is Gavin Free,” Sarah said as she turned the paper around for the Ramseys to see, “He was brought to us a few days ago.” Her face seemed to show a sort of pain now as she looked at Gavin's photo. He was a small boy with sandy colored hair, seeming to have big green-blue eyes, but what really stood out about him was how adorable, loving, and sweet he looked, yet he didn't smile.

“What's the story?” Geoff asked, knowing Griffon was wondering the same thing.

Sarah sighed. “I know you both know this well, but some children _will_ come with the most horrific stories you'll ever hear,” she said. Geoff and Griffon nodded, so Sarah went on, “His father was a drunk. Mrs. Free thought that if they moved to the US, things would change. She thought if Mr. Free was in a whole new environment to find a whole new job, it would clean him up.” Sarah shook her head. “That wasn't the case. He was more abusive than ever.”

Griffon looked away, only being able to imagine that, and she didn't like it.

“At first, Gavin was the main victim to the abuse,” Sarah explained, and Geoff pursed his lips, “Mrs. Free would let it happen, from fear of what would happen if she tried to stop her husband. But the other night, she had enough. But instead of taking Gavin with her, she just decided to leave. She decided she rather not have to deal with any of it.”

“Oh my goodness,” Griffon said under her breath.

Sarah nodded. “And Mr. Free was furious when he couldn't find his wife. He screamed at Gavin, demanding to know where his mother went, but Gavin had been asleep when Mrs. Free escaped. He had no idea. If it weren't for the neighbors hearing Gavin's cry for help, who knows where that little boy would be now.”

Geoff sighed deeply. How could anyone look at their own child and be so cruel?

“He doesn't talk much,” Sarah continued, “Gavin, I mean. He's very quiet, so don't be surprised if he doesn't want to talk to either of you. He's been through so much. Many of our kids here have.”

Griffon's eyes widened. “We get to take him home?” She asked.

Sarah nodded. “Yes,” she said, “I feel he deserves to stay at a house that will bring him a comforting environment and people who truly do care, and I feel you two fit that role. He needs to be reminded of what it's like to be loved and not left behind.”

“We'll definitely watch over him,” Geoff said with a nod, “He won't ever feel unloved again.”

And that was the start of it.

Gavin Free entered their lives a few days after that meeting. He was seven years old and Sarah wasn't kidding when she said he was quiet. On the first day, Geoff tried making jokes with him, but Gavin would either stare at Geoff in confusion or say something around the lines of, “I wanna go home.”

“You are home,” Geoff would say.

Gavin would turn away and cross his arms. “This will be my home for only a little bit of time,” he complained. “Soon I will go back to England.”

Geoff never knew what to say to Gavin. The kid had no family members in England, at least none that were living, but he was still so determined that he would go back there. But Geoff couldn't tell him any of that. He just let the boy be, and would only talk to him when he tried urging Gavin to take a walk with him.

Gavin never wanted to go for walks, though. He would just stay in his bedroom and stare at the four walls most of the day.

Griffon would attempt to talk to him, too, but it always ended in a one-sided conversation. When it became clear that Gavin really wanted to be left alone, Griffon would leave. And Gavin did feel bad for being so rude. He wasn't rude. He really wasn't. He just didn't want to become attached.

He had no idea how long he was going to stay with the Ramsey's. So why get too comfortable? It wasn't worth it.

He was always taught to stay quiet, anyway, otherwise daddy would get a headache and yell at him. So this worked for him; staying isolated from Geoff and Griffon unless he _really_ had to face him, which was only during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was the summer, so there was no school yet, which Gavin was relieved about. He didn't want to be surrounded by so many people.

Not yet.

He just wanted to be alone and try to find some good parts of his past life to be happy about.

He never could find any, though.

It was one night when Gavin just couldn't fall asleep. He was tossing and turning more than usual, flinching at any little sound he would hear. At one point he even thought, no... he _swore_ he heard his father's yells. It scared him half to the death that he jumped out of bed and quickly walked out of his room.

He knew he didn't actually hear his father. He knew it was just his imagination, but he was still scared, and he just wanted a nice cup of milk like his mom used to give him when he couldn't sleep.

Gavin froze at the top of the staircase. He looked over his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't wake Geoff or Griffon. Then he took a deep breath and slowly started his way down the stairs. One of the steps creaked underneath his weight and Gavin cringed.

“God damnit,” Gavin heard a voice say, and he froze again, but this time from fear.

He felt goosebumps rise on his arms and he wanted to move – no, he wanted to run! But he couldn't. His heart was pounding loud enough for him to hear it in his ears and his little hands were trembling.

But then Gavin heard a laugh... Geoff's laugh – Geoff's genuinely happy laugh. And suddenly, everything was okay again.

Gavin was okay, and he let out a sigh of relief.

Downstairs and in the living room was Geoff, staring at the TV screen with a controller in his hands. He seemed to be reading something that was on the screen but Gavin was too far to exactly see the words. But what Gavin could see, though, amazed him. Bright colors and graphics, and a mysterious, animated person standing in the middle of a larger group of people. The main person was holding a handgun in one hand, and a knife in the other.

Gavin slowly made his way towards the living room, his eyes unable to stop staring at the screen the whole time. And then Geoff started mashing the buttons on the controller, making Gavin furrow his eyebrows as he tried figuring out why Geoff was doing that, but apparently it was making the person on screen move around and... attack?

From Geoff's peripheral vision, he could see Gavin walking up, and Geoff jumped before pausing the game.

“Gavin?” He turned his head to find the little boy standing there, “What are you doing up?”

“What are you doing?” Gavin asked him, his eyes still filled with amazement.

Geoff blinked, deciding not to hassle Gavin about getting to sleep because it was _way_ passed his bedtime. This was his chance to get somewhere with the little British lad. Geoff patted the spot next to him on the couch and Gavin eagerly sat down.

“You act like you've never seen a video game before,” Geoff joked, but when Gavin didn't laugh, he gasped. “Oh wow... you've never seen a video game before.”

“My mummy and daddy didn't have much,” Gavin admitted, looking down at his hands, “and daddy never let me do anything.”

It was true. Mr. Free hated the sound of his son's laughter. Any time he came home to hear that laugh being caused by Mrs. Free playing with him, the man would snap. He would ask his wife why she kept babying the child.

“He is our son,” Mrs. Free would tell him. “I have a right to make him happy.”

“After a long day at work, I rather not come home to an obnoxiously screaming child,” Mr. Free said, and that point, Gavin would be struggling to hold in his tears.

The rest of what would usually happen is what Gavin always blocked out. He became good at that, pretending like it never happened. And it worked for him. It made him feel better, but it also made him know better to be more quiet next time.

Geoff frowned, but then his lips twitched up as he handed his controller to Gavin. Gavin merely stared at it, not knowing what he could possibly do with that. He looked Geoff in the eyes and Geoff nodded, so the lad gently took the controller. He held it in his hands and looked it over like it was some sort of treasure; a precious jewel he needed to handle with care.

“Okay,” Geoff spoke, rubbing his hands together, “I'll let you know the basics of what you have to do. Go ahead and press 'start' first.”

Gavin looked at each time button before he found the 'start' one. He pushed it and gasped at the sudden noises that came from the TV. Geoff suppressed a laugh and shook his head. He told Gavin what each button stood for, when to push which, and how fast Gavin should be. Gavin nodded, feeling like he just understood everything Geoff told him.

“Okay,” he said.

“Ready?” Geoff asked him.

“Yes,” Gavin answered, a grin slowly forming on his face.

Geoff could practically see the little boy bouncing in his seat, and he smiled before looking back at the screen to see Gavin take action. And it didn't take long for the character to be killed when Gavin forgot which buttons to push.

“Aw...” Gavin frowned as he retried again, but the same thing just kept happening, and then Gavin was up to ten deaths; the fastest deaths Geoff's ever seen.

“This isn't fun,” Gavin whined, “I can't get away from the group of mean people. They are killing me too much.”

Now Geoff couldn't help but laugh, although he felt bad when Gavin pouted at him. Geoff took a deep breath to stop himself from laughing anymore and he gently patted Gavin's head.

“You're actually doing much better than I was when I first starting playing,” he told the blond.

“Don't lie to me,” Gavin sternly said as he narrowed his eyes up at the man.

Geoff held his hands up in defense and leaned back. “I'm not,” he said with a smile, and Gavin continued to stare at Geoff suspiciously, but then he smiled as well.

“You were the worst player ever, then,” Gavin told him, and Geoff laughed again.

“Don't make fun of me,” Geoff said through his laughter. He nudged the little one and pointed to the screen, “Now try again. The world needs you! Well... video game wise.”

Gavin nodded and immediately hit the 'retry' option. They spent another good half hour playing that game, with Gavin getting a bit better and Geoff cheering him on the whole time.

That's how Gavin warmed up to Geoff; that's how he began to laugh more often, talk on and on about the new games that were coming out, and some cartoon he started to watch. Griffon found it more than adorable – how a little kid who had been through some of the worst times, who lost his sense of joy suddenly had the light return to his eyes.

“And it's all thanks to you,” Griffon told Geoff one day as they cleaned up after dinner.

Geoff smiled a little, but he shrugged. “I think he just got used to us. I played a small part in it, sure, but it was all just Gavin needing some time to adjust to this new hou-”

“Oh, shut up,” Griffon playfully shoved him, and Geoff was grinning now.

He wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her in closer.

“Thank you,” Griffon said, “for being so amazing and patient with him.”

“I know he's not my real son,” Geoff began, “And I know there's a possibility that he'll end up getting adopted, and that we'll probably not see him again after that, but... I don't know. I love him like a son. I never thought I'd love kids, but he's pretty great.”

Griffon smiled and placed a small kiss on Geoff's cheek. “What do you think about letting more kids stay here, then?” She asked, and Geoff just smiled at her.

There was a six year old boy who had been living with his mom; his very neglectful mom. No one didn't even know how lonely the boy was until a teacher asked him how he was, and there was just something about that question that made the boy break down. No one had ever asked him how he was before, but the answer was, he was nowhere near okay. His mother didn't love him and he was tired of feeling like he was taking care of himself.

The teacher reported it immediately, and now Ray Narvaez Jr was sitting in the backseat of Geoff's car, holding a teddy bear tightly in his arms.

“You're gonna love Gavin,” Geoff said to him as he drove. He saw the mild look of confusion on Ray's face, so Geoff went on, “He's the other boy we have living with us, the one I mention earlier.”

“Oh,” Ray answered with a nod. “How old is he?”

“Seven, just a year older than you.”

“Really?” Ray's eyebrows rose.

“Yep,” Geoff nodded, “You two will have no problem getting along.” Except for the fact that Gavin was back to being his quiet self the moment Ray walked through the door. Introductions were made – awkwardly and almost silently that Geoff had to pull Gavin aside and ask, “Hey, buddy, what's wrong?”

Gavin shrugged and glanced over at Ray before saying, “Well... I don't know him. It feels weird.”

Geoff bent down so he could be at eye level with the lad, and he grinned as he gently pinched Gavin's chin. “It doesn't have to be weird,” he said, “Just... give him a chance. Show him how we live around here and you know, have fun together.” He watched Gavin's face until he saw a hint of a smile, and then he patted Gavin's arm. “That's my boy.”

Geoff stood up and turned around to look at Ray. “Ray,” he nodded, “Make yourself at home.” With that, he walked out of there to leave the kids alone to get to know each other.

Gavin looked down at his feet as he shifted his weight from his toes to his heels... toes and then heels... toes, and then heels.

Ray must have taken off his glasses to “wipe them” and put them back on about ten times before he worked up the courage to speak.

“Geoff told me a lot about you,” he said.

Gavin finally stopped moving his feet and looked back up at Ray. “What did he say?” He asked.

“He told me you've been here for almost two months,” Ray explained, “And that... that you're really nice. And, and, that you're seven. I'm six.” He pointed to himself, smiling and revealing a mouth of a few missing teeth.

Gavin's eyes lit up as he smiled. Without saying a word, he grabbed Ray's wrist and started heading towards the living room. Ray practically flew with Gavin leading him, but he laughed and asked, “Where are we going?”

“I want to show you something _really_ cool!” Gavin said as he stepped into the living room.

“Oh, what is it?” Ray asked.

Gavin let go of Ray and headed over to the stack of video games Geoff had near the television. He picked the first one up and spun around to show Ray. Ray gasped excitedly.

“Video games,” Gavin squealed, and Ray began to jump up and down as he watched Gavin set up the console for them to play.

It was mainly how they spent most of their days together when they weren't outside running around on the playground Geoff finally managed to set up. And when school came around, Griffon made sure the boys had their homework finished before they could even think about hoping in front of that TV to play some more.

“When is it gonna be my turn?” Geoff asked them one day after he came home from work. He stood next to the couch as he watched them, and he had to say, he was impressed.

“Later,” Ray promised and Gavin stuck out his tongue at Geoff.

Griffon was nearby and wasn't able to hold in her laughter. Geoff looked at her with a smile and shook his head.

It was safe to say that Gavin and Ray were each other's best friends, because even at school they were tied to the hip. Sure other kids would talk and hang out with them, but they would usually just end up paying most of their attention to each other instead their friends. And when they were asked about it, they would merely say, “Because he's my brother.”

“But you're not related,” a girl said to them. “He's from England,” she pointed at Gavin, then looked at Ray, “and you're from... I don't know.”

Ray and Gavin understood completely that of course they weren't related. And yeah they weren't even step brothers either because they were just kids who were thrown into the foster care system because their real parents couldn't be real parents, but they hated being reminded of that. They didn't like thinking about that how one day they could be separated, so they didn't talk about it, because living with Geoff and Griffon felt better than it ever did living with their actual parents. Geoff and Griffon were like _real_ parents to them.

Therefore, it was like they _really_ were brothers.

 

* * *

 

“Happy birthday to you,” Geoff, Griffon, and Gavin began to sing, “Happy birthday to you. Happy _birthday_ dear _Raaaaay_. Happy birthday to _yooooou_.”

Ray smiled at the three of them before blowing out the candles on the _pie_ in front of him, because he insisted that pies were better than cake.

“Yay!” Geoff and Griffon cheered, and Gavin clapped with them.

“Wow, Ray,” Geoff said as he took a seat across from him, “You're _nine_ years old today. How does that make you feel?”

“Not as old as Gavin,” Ray joked, and Gavin scrunched up his nose, making Ray laugh.

Geoff laughed a little, too.

“Okay, Gavin, take a seat,” Griffon said as she walked back to the Ray's side to cut the pie in pieces.

Gavin obliged and waited almost impatiently for Griffon to hand him a piece.

“Thank you, Griffon,” he said once he received it.

“You're welcome, sweetie,” Griffon smiled at him.

Geoff looked at his wife for the signal, and when she gave it to him, he sighed and said, “I have an announcement to make.”

“What is it?” Ray asked, a mouthful of pie.

Griffon grabbed a napkin and gently wiped Ray's mouth, getting an annoyed groan in response from him as he tried to pull away.

“We're going to have someone new live here with us,” Geoff told them, “But we already got the news that she may not being staying long, since they might be able to find a relative in California that she can stay with.”

“It's a girl?” Ray asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise.

Geoff laughed and nodded. “Yes, a really sweet girl, too,” he looked up at Griffon, “Grif and I met her yesterday while you two were at school and well, we decided she should stay with us.”

“Especially since no other foster home had room for more kids,” Griffon explained.

“And she might leave?” Gavin asked.

Geoff nodded. “Possibly,” he said, “But that doesn't mean we should treat her any different. I know it's just been the four of us and you two have gotten used to each other, but I want you boys to be nice to her when she comes tomorrow. Okay?”

Gavin and Ray nodded.

“What's her name?” Gavin asked.

“How old is she?” Ray asked as well.

Geoff smiled at them and said, “She's ten, just like you, Gavin,” he looked at the blond, “and her name is Lindsay.”

Ray and Gavin smiled at each other.

“Lindsay's a pretty name,” Ray said.

“Why is she in the foster care?” Gavin asked as he looked at Geoff.

Geoff sighed as he rubbed his chin, unsure if he really wanted them to know about it. “Her parents were in a car accident,” he started, “and well, they didn't make it. She wasn't with them. She was at school.”

“Oh, no...” Gavin said under his breath.

“I know, I know,” Geoff nodded, “It's actually almost been eight months, though. We were told she's better now, and we could see she's better. She didn't look too sad to us, but that doesn't mean she isn't still sad at all. That's a really hard thing for a ten year old to face. They have been trying to make contact with relatives for so long, but it's only recently that they finally got to talk to her uncle's friend in California.” He sighed before going on, “They haven't spoken directly to her uncle, though, so in the meantime, she'll be staying with us.”

“What happens if they can't get in contact with her uncle at all?” Ray couldn't help but ask.

“Then she'll stay,” Griffon answered as she picked up his and Gavin's empty plates, “until she's eighteen, or until someone adopts her.”

Ray and Gavin looked at each other again and it was clear they were both thinking the same thing.

“Well,” Ray said as he got up, “Gav and I are going outside.”

“Have fun, you two,” Geoff told them, and they were off.

The boys did a little race to see who could make it to the swings first, but they both ended up there at the same time. And they laughed – breathless and still full from all the pie. They took their seats on the swings and merely sat there, allowing silence to take over.

Gavin couldn't help but let his thoughts wander, though, and he looked over at Ray. “Ray,” he spoke, getting the other boy to face him, “Do you ever think about your mum?”

Ray scoffed and shook his head. “No. Why should I? She didn't care about me. All she wanted was to drink her medicine all the time. Well... _she_ called it 'medicine'. I know now it was just beer.”

Gavin sighed and kicked some of the dirt underneath his foot. “My dad sometimes liked to be pretend like I wasn't around, because he didn't like how much of a bother I was,” he said softly, “One time, my mum had to go somewhere for the weekend, so he was taking care of me, but then again, not really,” he shrugged, “I remember that Saturday and how he was sitting in the kitchen and I was sitting on the floor in the corner, playing with some of the Legos the neighbor had given me for Christmas. It was the first gift I ever got, because Dad didn't think it was worth spending money on.” He paused momentarily as he thought back to that and how excited he was to open it. “Anyway,” he went on, “One of the Legos slipped out of my hand and hit the wall, and that noise made my dad look over at me.”

“Did he get mad at you?” Ray asked, concern growing in his eyes.

“No,” Gavin shook his head, “But he said something I can never forget, no matter how much I wish I bloody could.”

Ray frowned. “What did he say?” He asked, his voice soft.

Gavin bit down on his lower lip and took a deep breath before quoting his father exactly, “Oh yeah, you're here. How long have you been here? It's... oh, it's six PM. I guess it's time to feed you.” He stared off into nothing with a blank expression on his face.

“That's awful,” Ray shook his head, “I'm sorry, Gavin. You didn't deserve that.”

Gavin smiled, though, and looked at Ray. “That's part of why I'm here today, and that's why I'm happy.”

Ray returned the smile before moving his swing closer to Gavin and wrapping his arms around him.

 

* * *

 

Lindsay felt nervous as she followed Griffon and Geoff into the house. Her eyes immediately began to look all around, so she was paying no attention to where Gavin and Ray were standing. She turned to face forward and squeaked when she almost ran right into them.

“I was wondering if you were going to notice us at all or if we were gonna need to move,” Ray admitted.

Gavin nodded as he grinned.

Lindsay sighed in relief and smiled at them. “Gavin and Ray?” She asked.

“The one and only,” Ray took a bow.

Geoff snorted and rolled his eyes. “The one and only, _sure_ ,” he teased, getting a glare from Ray.

“It's nice to finally meet you two,” Lindsay said to the boys.

“And now that you have,” Gavin said as he wrapped an arm around her, which Ray also did, “You are automatically our new best friend.”

“Yep,” Ray nodded, and Lindsay looked at him, “Sorry, but it's true. We don't make the rules.”

Geoff grinned as he watched the three head outside. He walked over to Griffon who was now watching the the kids through the sliding glass door; a soft smile on her face.

“They're great, aren't they?” Geoff asked, and Griffon turned to face him.

“Yeah,” she answered with a nod, “They are, and look,” she gestured towards them, “Gavin and Ray are already treating Lindsay like they've known her as long as they've known each other.”

Geoff smiled, because yes, those boys were growing up to be such nice people, and he knew he and Griffon had some help in that.

“Is it true that you might not stay long?” Gavin asked Lindsay, though he instantly regretted it when he saw the smile fall from her face. “I mean... I just... well...” he looked to Ray for help, but Ray shook his head and shrugged.

“Will it be bad if I stay long?” Lindsay asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

Gavin shook his head. “No! In fact, I hope you do stay long. I've been here since I was seven. It's amazing. It feels like I really do belong here, like Geoff and Griffon are really my parents, and not just foster ones.”

Lindsay smiled slightly now and she said, “I don't think my uncle wants me with him anyway.”

Ray frowned and stood up from the spot he was sitting on. “Why would you say that?” He asked her.

“I think kids and teenagers bother him,” Lindsay said, “And I'm like in between. I don't know. I never even met him face-to-face. My mom always said he was the mean brother.”

“Well if he doesn't want you,” Gavin began, “We sure do want you here.”

“You can be part of our family,” Ray added, smiling.

“You really do consider this a family, don't you?” Lindsay looked back and forth from both of them.

“Why wouldn't we?” Gavin asked.

Lindsay smiled more before sighing. “No reason,” she said, “I'm actually really glad you do. I had a friend who used to be in foster care and she said her foster parents only treated her like a guest in their home, which technically, she was, but... it was still sad. Then she was switched to another family and I haven't seen her since. So I'm glad you all act like a real family. It's been so long since I've been apart of one...” She said the last sentence in such a quiet voice as she looked down at the grass.

Gavin walked up to her and patted her back comfortably. “You don't have to feel that way anymore,” he assured her, and Lindsay smiled at him before practically tackling him with a hug.

 

* * *

 

Somewhere along the way, Geoff found new ways they could all spend time together – family nights on Sundays. Those family nights would consist of video games, board games, going out somewhere for fun, and always a nice dinner to follow. They would also begin to watch new TV shows together, finding characters they all deemed their favorite.

And none of them bothered to pay anyone who stared at them curiously when they all went out together.

Lindsay, Gavin, or Ray only rolled their eyes at the kids at school who poked fun at them for not having _real_ parents, which they didn't understand at all. 

A real parent didn't just have to be someone who shared DNA with you. A real parent was someone who took the responsibility to care for someone, who loved them, and protected them. That's what Geoff and Griffon did, so being called the lonely 'foster kids' never hurt them, especially since they did have friends who truly liked them for them and not who they lived with. 

Lindsay was both worried and anxious about whether or not she would be staying with the Ramseys, though. A part of her didn't mind staying – not at all. Then another part of her really wanted to be with someone she was related to.

No one ever was able to make contact with her uncle, though, and when she was told this news, she said it didn't bother her. But Ray had heard her crying one night in her room.

He hurriedly got out of bed and left his room to go check on her. Her room was right next door to his, so using the tip of his toes, he walked over to and knocked gently on her door until she answered.

“It's okay,” he told her.

“It's not,” Lindsay said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand, “My uncle doesn't love me.”

Ray pursed his lips and fidgeted with his fingers, trying to find something to say to comfort her. Then it came to him and his eyes lit up.

“But we love you,” he said.

With a few tears running down her face, Lindsay sniffled and managed a smile. “Oh, look at me,” she said, pointing at her face, “I'm crying like a little kid. I'm not far from being eleven and I'm crying.”

“We're still kids,” Ray said, “And even if were older, it would still be okay to cry. You can't help it.”

Lindsay nodded. She had only been there a month, but she never felt so easily comfortable in a new place, and it was nice. It was easy. It was what she needed.

“Thank you, Ray,” she said in a whispered voice, and that was probably the last time she cried. Well, at least for a while...

 

* * *

 

 

It was about two years later when Griffon got a phone call about Mrs. Narvaez wanting to take her son back. She had apparently been through enough rehab, enough AA meetings to be completely “sobered” up and ready to take proper care of her child.

Ray refused to go, though.

“I don't trust her!” He shouted when Geoff and Griffon had sat him down to tell him this.

“Ray,” Griffon grabbed his hand, “She wants another chance. She's been checked over plenty of times. She's better now. She's not the woman you once knew.”

“No!” Ray pulled his hand away. “Why are you making me go back with her? I don't wanna go back with her! I wanna stay! And if you two don't want me living in your house anymore, then fine! I'll just go stay with the other foster kids who don't have a home to stay in.” With that, he stormed out of the kitchen and Geoff cringed at the sound of a door slamming shut.

“If he doesn't want to leave,” Geoff spoke, “He can't. They won't let a child be somewhere they don't want to be.”

Griffon sighed and nodded. “I do love having him here, but that's his mother.”

“Yeah, but you're a better one.”

And although Griffon still wanted to try and convince Ray to give his mom another chance, that option went right out the window the moment she was told Mrs. Narvaez had slipped back into drinking again. Apparently she was only going to a friend's party for a little bit, but being around all that alcohol had been a little too tempting for her.

So Ray was able to stay, because no one could trust him with that woman if she was so easily tempted.

Things around the house were filled with some tension, though, since Ray had a while where he felt unwanted. With coaxing from Gavin, Lindsay, and Geoff, Ray found himself feeling loved again within weeks and that awkward little silence that would occur every time he was around was gone. He was back to being his normal self, much to everyone's relief.

They were whole again, and Geoff figured it would stay like that – just the five of them until they were old enough to leave on their own, but Griffon had something else in mind.

When the kids left for school one morning, Griffon started up a conversation that went a bit like, “So there's this new boy who was brought in for being badly abused by his parents – physically and emotionally.”

“If you're thinking about having him stay with us,” Geoff started, “I just... I don't think we should. We already have three kids living here. That's a handful.”

“They aren't so much of a handful as they were when they were younger,” Griffon told him, “They're maturing.” Geoff merely sighed, so Griffon had to go on to say, “And I already met this boy.”

Geoff's eyes widened and he stared at his wife with his mouth almost wide open. “Without me?!” He asked, his voice practically cracking.

“You were at work and they called me,” Griffon explained, “They said to come back with you to talk about it.”

“Grif-” Geoff licked his lips. He could see how eager Griffon looked about this, so he just asked, “How is he?”

“He's so quiet,” Griffon answered, “You can just _see_ how much he's been hurt, how he yearns for attention. Don't you remember how Gavin was when he first came here? But you brought the light out in that little boy. I just _know_ you can do the same with this one.”

Geoff smiled, not able to deny what a confidence booster that compliment was. “Well,” he shrugged, “it would be nice to have another little one around the house,” he admitted.

Then Griffon was frowning and Geoff tilted his head as he looked at her.

“What?” He asked.

“He's not a little boy,” Griffon hesitantly told him as she turned away to start washing the dishes.

Geoff raised his eyebrows, but he asked, “How old is he?”

“He's thirteen.”

“Thirteen?!” Geoff hadn't meant to blurt that out so loudly, but it was as if he hadn't been able to control himself. “And they just now discovered he was being abused?”

“It only just gotten to the point where a teacher could easily figure it out,” Griffon told him. She turned off the faucet water and sighed. “Oh, Geoff,” she faced her husband again, “I wanted to bring him home the second I laid eyes on him. You don't understand how much it broke my heart to see him sitting on his bed, all alone and destroyed.”

It was obvious Griffon wanted Geoff to give this boy a chance, and how could Geoff deny it with the way Griffon was looking at him? It would have been close to impossible to say 'no'. He also couldn't just walk away from the situation knowing there was a kid who needed them more than ever right now.

“Okay,” Geoff said with a nod, “Let's meet him.” He called in at work to say he was coming in late before he and Griffon headed over to meet this new boy.

Sarah brightly smiled at the two as they walked in. She stood up and held out her hand.

“There he is,” she said to Geoff, “I was wondering if you really would come or not.”

“How could I not?” Geoff smiled as he shook Sarah's hand. He looked around and took a deep breath, “So where is he?”

“Right this way,” Sarah said as she walked off into a hallway.

Geoff and Griffon immediately followed, saying hi to a few kids who walked passed them; some younger than five years old, and some much older – nothing new there.

Sarah stopped in front of a door and turned to the Ramseys, “Griffon did already meet him, so she knows what to expect,” she explained.

Geoff raised an eyebrow at that. “What am I supposed to expect, then?” He looked at Griffon for that answer, but Griffon only smiled at him.

Sarah opened the door and stepped in, but Geoff and Griffon waited outside until their signal to walk in.

“Well, Mr. Ramsey,” Sarah said, “meet Michael Jones,” she stepped aside to show the boy – Michael sitting on a plain bed covered in white sheets.

Michael had his back to all of them as he stared at the wall and Geoff looked at Griffon again, eyebrows raised, but Griffon didn't notice. Geoff looked back at Michael and sighed through his nose.

Oh boy...

 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly surprised how quickly I finished this chapter, but that might have to do with the fact that it's not as long as the first lol and also THANK YOU for the positive response. It made me SO happy :D

“Michael, this is Geoff Ramsey,” Sarah explained to Michael when she saw he wasn't making any effort to turn around and face the Ramseys, “You know, the nice man I've been talking to you about. You met his wife, Griffon, remember?”

But there wasn't any sort of response from Michael. The environment was beginning to get a little too uncomfortable for Geoff, but he showed no sign of it, for Griffon's sake.

Michael continued to stare at the wall, not even seeming to move a muscle, and probably the worst part of it was that neither Geoff or Griffon could tell what expression Michael wore. Griffon had explained during the car ride how Michael did have bruises on his face, especially one in particular, and that she was told by Sarah that Michael's face wasn't the only place he had marks. His entire body was covered in bruises and scars, but Geoff tried not imaging those, because he couldn't imagine a thirteen year old kid going through so much trauma from his own damn parents.

Sarah looked at Geoff and Griffon apologetically before trying again, “Michael-”

“I don't care!” Michael finally shouted, catching the three adults off guard. Michael jumped up from the bed and spun around to glare at Geoff, and Geoff gasped quietly at the how swollen Michael's right eye appeared to be. “I'm not gonna fucking go live with you,” the boy snapped.

Sarah's eyes widened. “Michael! Language,” she sternly said.

Michael ignored her, though, and he went on to say, “I don't wanna live with anyone, _okay_? Why doesn't anyone around here get that?!” But then he looked at Griffon and saw the disappointment she now had. “Look, you're nice. I get it,” Michael told her, his voice calmer now, “but I don't care. I don't need to be living with people who are just gonna pretend to like me until I turn eighteen.”

“It won't be pretending,” Griffon told him. She took a step closer to him, smiling softly as she said, “Michael, we want to take care of you, and love you-”

“No!” Michael screamed, cutting her off, because he _had_ to stop her there; his heart was beginning to throb in his chest. “Get out of my room!” He sounded angry, but from the way his eyes were watering, his pain was evident. “Just get out!” Michael managed to choke out before he sat back down on his bed and covered his face with his pillow.

Sarah sighed and turned to the Ramseys, “I'm so sorry,” she said softly as she began to escort them out.

Geoff stopped walking, though, as he heard Michael softly crying. There were quiet, sure, but Geoff could hear the actual _distraught_ in those sobs, and it stung him badly that he couldn't bare to walk away.

“Geoff?” Sarah asked when she noticed him standing still.

Geoff blinked hard and looked at her. “Can I have moment with him?” He mouthed.

“Are you _sure_?” Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow, “He does have a temper, as you can see,” she made sure to keep her voice down.

“Just one minute,” Geoff pleaded.

Sarah looked at Griffon, but when Griffon nodded, she and Sarah headed out of the room to give Geoff and Michael their space. Geoff stared at Michael for a moment before stepping closer to the bed.

“Griffon was so excited when she told me about you,” Geoff spoke. “She practically _begged_ me to come meet you.”

“Go away,” Michael said through his choked cries; his voice shaky and quiet.

Geoff wasn't going to give up that easily, though. He rubbed his face and said, “Michael, my wife obviously saw something in you that she couldn't forget. It's why she wanted me to meet you. It's why she wants you to live with us. We have three others in foster care who are your age at home. They're very nice, too. I'm sure you'll fit right in-”

“What part of 'go away' don't you understand?!” Michael shouted as he looked at Geoff, but his face drenched in tears had Geoff's heart aching.

Geoff licked his lips and shook his head, “I'm not leaving. You deserve a good home, Michael. And I want to give that to you.”

Michael took a deep, shaky breath and sniffled before he could manage to ask, “Why me?”

“Because I know you're a good person. Everything that happened wasn't your fault.”

“But it was.”

“But it wasn't.”

Michael's lower lip quivered, and he hugged the pillow as he stared at the floor, trying so desperately not to break down again. “You don't half of what happened so stop acting like you do,” he mumbled.

Geoff leaned down and sighed. Yes, he didn't know all of what happened, but what he did know was that he wanted to be there for Michael.

“Give us a chance, Michael,” he said, and Michael looked at him, “A week. Give us a week. If you don't like it at our house, we'll bring you back here. That sound good to you?”

No. Not really.

Michael just wanted to scream again until he scared this man off. He just wanted to be left alone, to wallow in his own misery. He didn't want to be “saved” or “fixed”. He could take care of himself. He could basically handle anything on his own. He didn't need anyone being nice to him.

But truthfully, he was also tired.

Michael wiped his eyes, Geoff noticing how careful Michael was when wiping his right eye, and then the boy nodded. “If it'll get you to shut up,” he sighed loudly, “then okay.”

* * *

 

The next few days consisted of getting everything ready for Michael's arrival. Ray and Lindsay spent a lot of their time making a “Welcome, Michael!” banner while Gavin helped Geoff make room for Michael in Ray's bedroom. Griffon had been told what video game series Michael preferred the most, and she went ahead and bought some of the games Michael didn't have yet.

They were all excited for him that the day he finally entered the house with Geoff, Lindsay, Ray, and Gavin practically jumped in front of him.

Michael halted in his tracks as he merely stared at the three in front of him with their wide, overly excited grins. It was a bit creepy, and Michael had to look away.

Gavin's grin fell when he got a real look at Michael, and he didn't want to seem rude, but he couldn't help but stare at the swollen eye. It was healing and that was obvious, but it still looked bruised, and Gavin cringed as he imagined how it was created.

Michael looked at Geoff and Geoff smiled at him.

“They're so happy to have you here,” he told Michael.

Michael sighed, though. “What room am I going to sleep in?” He asked softly.

“Oh, you'll be rooming with Ray,” Geoff pointed to Ray and Ray winked in response. “Since he has the largest bedroom aside from the master bedroom,” Geoff explained to Michael, then he looked at Ray again, “Uh, Ray, did you finish making his bed?”

“Yes, sir.” Ray nodded.

“Alright, then can you show Michael your room?”

Ray nodded again and gestured towards the stairs, allowing Michael to go first. Michael hesitated at first, clutching the handles of his bags in his hands, but he swallowed hard and started walking up the steps with Ray following behind.

“Second door on your right,” Ray said.

Michael nodded to let him know he understood, but he walked slow as his eyes scanned the walls. There were photos of Geoff and Griffon, many others that looked like family photos with Gavin and Ray when they were younger. Then there looked to be another where Lindsay was in; she was sat on Geoff's lap in the photo while Gavin stood in the middle with his arms crossed and a smug smile on his face, and Griffon stood next to him, kneeled down with her arms wrapped around Ray. Michael wrinkled up his nose and looked forward.

“I try being clean,” Ray explained, “but dude... it's hard sometimes.”

Michael, stared wide eyed and eyebrows furrowed, at Ray before putting one of his bags down to open the door. The bedroom was fairly simple – two beds against the walls on the left and right side, both with a nightstand next to it and a dresser sat in the middle. There was also a poster above the dresser that read 'Red Vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles' with two Halo characters facing away from each other – one red and one blue.

Michael almost smiled; the corners of his lips barely twitching up. He had watched Red Vs Blue plenty of times before.

“Like it?” Ray asked, and Michael looked at him. “You know Geoff works at the company that created Red Vs Blue, right? He's the voice of Grif.”

Michael's eyebrows rose, but he seemed unimpressed, even though he was.

“Here,” Ray said, “Let me get that for you,” he tried reaching for Michael's bags, but Michael held onto them tightly.

“Okay...” Ray cleared his throat and gestured towards Michael's bed, the one on the right. “You'll sleep there.”

“Alright,” Michael blandly said as he walked over to it and threw his bags on top of it.

“Oh, I also emptied out some drawers for you,” Ray opened said drawers for Michael to see, “so you can put your clothes in. Do you want me to help you unpack?”

“I won't need to,” Michael sighed, “I'm only staying here for a week.”

Ray furrowed his eyebrows, feeling like he was missing something there.

Michael noted that from Ray's silence so he went on, “Geoff said I only had to give him a week, so a week I'll give him,” he explained.

_Oh._

Ray crossed his arms. “You probably won't want to leave after getting to know all of us. We're pretty great, if I do say so myself,” he smirked.

Michael rolled his eyes and sat down on the edge of the bed.

At that point, Ray didn't know what else to say or do to keep up the conversation that Michael evidently didn't want to be apart of anyway.

“Well...” Ray began to head to the door, “I hope you like your stay here.” He waited a bit to see if Michael would possibly say anything else, but no luck there, so Ray just walked out.

He didn't close the door on his way out, though, so Michael got up to do just that before returning to the bed and throwing his bags off it. He allowed himself to fall onto the bed and get comfortable. The house seemed cozy enough, and sure everyone was nice, but Michael just didn't want to be there long. He really hoped the week would fly by and he would be back to being alone, because when he was alone, he was away from hurt. He didn't have to deal with people or their lies. He didn't have to be afraid of making a mistake and being _taught a lesson_.

It would be him and him only; no one to get attached to.

His eyes were beginning to shut until a knock came at the door. Michael opened his eyes and stared in the direction the knocks came in, though he said nothing.

Gavin frowned and tried knocking again, yet no response came. He counted to ten in his head before casually walking in, and Michael shot up in a sitting position as he glared at the blond.

“Hi,” Gavin said cheerfully despite that death stare, “I didn't get to actually introduce myself downstairs,” he said as he walked up to Michael's bed. Holding out his hand, he said, “I'm Gavin.” He tried so hard not to stare at Michael's right eye.

“You're British,” Michael mumbled.

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows as he tilted his head. “I... well, yes.” Michael just blinked and remained quiet.

Seeing that Michael wasn't going to shake his hand, Gavin slowly put it down. “Um... Geoff is going to probably want to make your favorite food for dinner tonight. He did that for all of us. Uh, what is your favorite food? So I can tell him.” He grinned.

Michael squinted his eyes as he examined Gavin's face, those green eyes practically sparkling at him. And he smiled slightly. “I don't think I have one,” he said.

“You don't have one?” Gavin asked, sounding truly astonished by that.

Michael shrugged. “We basically always had junk food or frozen food, and if my mom cooked, it was always just rice or ham. I'm sick of that.”

“Oh...” Gavin looked anywhere but at Michael now. So much for Geoff's dinner...

The Brit turned to leave, but then Michael spoke again, “Gavin,” he sounded unsure about speaking though.

Gavin looked at him with a small smile. “Yeah?”

Michael scooted closer to the edge, his expression seemed friendly enough, but then he said, “If you don't hear me say the words 'come in', don't just fucking walk in here. I don't give a shit if you knocked or not. I didn't give you permission.” That was definitely not what Gavin expected to hear.

“This isn't just your room, you know?” Gavin hoped he didn't look intimidated, but he really just wanted to get out of there.

“Fine,” Michael nodded, “But when you know I'm the only one in here, wait for that permission. Got it?”

Gavin blinked. He had to face rude people before, such as the kids at school that tried picking on him for being a foster kid, but none of them were rude like Michael. Michael didn't even know him and he was already being a prick.

Gavin wanted to say something else, but he couldn't find the right words. So he turned and walked out of the room, rolling his eyes the moment he was out in the hallway.

“He's something, ain't he?” Ray asked from down the hall.

Gavin wrinkled up his nose and shook his head. “I'm going to have to get used that attitude of his,” he said as he walked down the hall and up to Ray.

“Yeah, well, at least you don't have to sleep in the same room as him,” Ray said, and Gavin huffed as the two headed down the stairs.

 


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty easy-going, but the the next chapters will get back to needing warnings. (also had to repost the chapter because apparently it kept messing up the A/N at the end)

“He's not very nice,” Gavin complained to Lindsay as they played a game of Mario Party together; a game they found along the way that they  _really_ enjoyed, especially when they both got competitive about it.

“Geoff said he's having a rough time,” Lindsay reminded Gavin, “We got out of our situations much earlier than he did. He's just... he's scarred. We all are. Give him time.”

Ray saw the two playing in the living room, and he could also hear that the topic of conversation was Michael, so he smirked and quietly made his way into the room.

“He's giving  _us_ a week,” Gavin told her, “How do you think I feel about that? It's like he's some inspector, trying to figure out whether we're worth his time or NOT- SAUSAGES!” He suppressed an even angrier scream from escaping his mouth as he watched Luigi – the character he was playing as – get yet another star stolen from him. Now he was in fourth place.

“Okay, so yes, that's unnecessary,” Lindsay agreed about Michael, “But whatever makes him comfortable. We need to be nice to him, Gavin, even if he won't be nice to us.”

Gavin made a noise of disgust. “I can't even look at his face without feeling annoyed, especially after how he treated me. I was nice to him, Lindsay, and  _that's_  how he repays me?”

And then Ray made a loud gasp, causing Lindsay and Gavin to jump and look over at him to find standing behind them.

“How  _dare_  you talk about me like that,” Ray said in his best Michael interpretation voice.

Lindsay paused the mini game that was about to begin to playfully punch Ray in the arm. “Ray, you jerk,” she said, “I really thought he had overheard us.” Ray rubbed the spot Lindsay had punched as he laughed a little.

“Nah, he's taking a shower,” he told them.

“It's going to take more than a shower to clean off that filthy personality of his,” Gavin commented.

“Ouch,” Ray said. “That's pretty harsh, Gav.”

“When I get a bad vibe from someone, I can't just ignore it,” Gavin told him, “I have the worst vibe about Michael, even worse than the vibe I got from the that eighth grader who picked on you a few months ago.”

“Oh, I remember that,” Lindsay said, looking at Ray again, “Gavin predicted that he would bully you, and a few days later, it happened.”

“Yeah, and thanks for that, Gav,” Ray sarcastically said.

“I warned you not to talk to him!” Gavin exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

“I can't just ignore Michael,” Ray took a seat next to Lindsay on the couch, “and it's just like Linds said; we gotta be nice to him even if he's not nice to us. We'll show him who the better person, or in this case ' _people_ ', are.”

Lindsay nodded and smiled at him. “Exactly.” She resumed the game and Gavin sighed deeply before turning his attention back to the TV screen.

“And besides,” Lindsay went on, “It's not like he's the way he is just for kicks. You know he has a story, so stop making him out as the bad guy. He's not a bad guy. He's a victim.”

Gavin frowned and put his controller down as Lindsay (as Peach) won the mini-game. Okay, yeah, Lindsay was right. There was a reason Michael was acting the way he was. Gavin remembered when he wanted to be angry and alone all the time, too, how he tried avoiding any contact with Geoff and Griffon. It only took warming up to them for him to become his true self.

All they knew about Michael was that he was physically abused by his parents, which wasn't hard to tell, and that he also emotionally abused. How badly it had affected Michael wasn't something they knew, though. How badly the abuse really was was also something they didn't know about. That was only something they could assume from the beatings they could see, and apparently Michael didn't want to talk about it when they took him from his home. Maybe he was too scared to talk about it, or he felt it didn't matter. Either way, that information was unknown for now.

Therefore, yes, Michael did need time, and Gavin could respect that, but that still didn't mean he was going to completely enjoy Michael's company. But he would be more weary of it, and he would be nice to Michael, because the last thing Michael needed was people he had to live with treating him like he wasn't important.

 

* * *

 

Since there was no knowing what Michael's favorite food was, Geoff decided to go his safe route and cook up what he believed to be his best dish. He got the chicken out early for it to defrost and during that time, he heard footsteps running up and down the stairs – an indication that the kids couldn't make up their minds on what to do. It was Sunday, which was usually family night, but since it was Michael's first day, Geoff decided they'd partially skip it for now, just until Michael got settled in and felt more comfortable around all of them.

But no family night meant the kids had absolutely nothing to do.

“You can't throw that in here,” Geoff heard Lindsay say.

“We already went outside and tossed it around,” Gavin replied, “We got bored out there.”

Geoff turned away from the chicken and shouted out, “If that ball hits and knocks anything over-” but he didn't even finish the sentence before he could hear the back door sliding open and footsteps running out of the house.

Geoff shook his head and smiled as he turned back to his chicken and began to prepare it. Could anyone really go wrong with chicken? There was so much that could be done with it. From frying it, to roasting it, to coating it with various seasonings. And Geoff was doing the last one to create what he called his 'world famous garlic chicken', even though only friends and family had tried it. He loved to accompany this chicken with a nice and fresh spinach salad, and even some chopped up potatoes to fry. They just went so well together and he felt like a professional chef for coming up with such a great meal.

As he was starting to cook the chicken, he head the backdoor slid open and Griffon call out to him that she was heading upstairs for a shower.

“Okay, great,” Geoff called back, “Dinner should be ready soon enough.”

The kids came back into the house and ran upstairs to clean up as well while Geoff decided to look over a few things he needed to finish for work.

“This will probably be the first and only time I say this,” Ray said as he washed his hands, “but I'm so bored that I can't wait for school tomorrow.”

Lindsay smiled at him. “Neither can I,” she said.

Gavin laughed and shook his head, and the three of them went back down the stairs to look for something to watch on TV.

They could smell the chicken being cooked from the kitchen and it made their stomachs growled, but they had to ignore it for now. Gavin sat in the middle of Ray and Lindsay on the couch as he searched for what they could watch. There were TV shows playing reruns of episodes they have all seen millions of times, then movies that they were bored of until they settled on a particular movie they didn't mind watching again.

About almost half an hour later, Geoff checked the chicken and saw that it was just about done. He smiled to himself and looked over at where the kids were; looking bored as they slumped on the couch and watched the movie that appeared to be a romantic comedy about bridesmaids or something.

“Can one of you go get Michael?” Geoff asked them.

The three of them immediately exchanged looks. Gavin shook his head, certainly not wanting to do it, and Ray was going to give in, since he really had no problem with Michael, but then Lindsay happily did.

“I will,” she said, and she narrowed her eyes at the boys, specifically Gavin, before hurrying towards the staircase.

“Thanks, Lindsay,” Geoff told her.

Lindsay practically ran the whole way, but stopped abruptly in front of the bedroom door. She lifted her fist to knock, but then hesitated. Michael couldn't be  _that_ bad, could he? Gavin had to be exaggerating, but she really didn't feel like dealing with someone rude. She didn't want to seem rude either by avoiding him, though. So with a smile, she knocked.

No response.

Lindsay blinked a few times and tried again.

Nothing.

Okay... another knock.

Still nothing.

Lindsay sighed and knocked louder.

“Oh my god,” she heard the loud voice come from the other side of the door. “What is it?” Michael asked.

Lindsay frowned, clearly hearing the attitude in that voice. “Um,” she spoke, “Dinner's ready.” She tried not sounding offended in anyway – she wasn't, but she also didn't appreciate how downright upset Michael seemed right off the bat.

There was silence again and Lindsay was going to leave, but then the door opened and Michael stood there with his arms crossed.

“I'm not hungry,” he said softly.

“But Geoff made something special,” Lindsay explained, “and he's really excited for you to try it.”

“Why me?” Michael asked, his eyebrows squeezing together.

Lindsay offered him a small smile as she said, “He made it specially for you.”

Michael's expression softened. This had to do with the whole dinner thing that Gavin had mentioned to him earlier, and admittedly, Michael was hungry. He'd been hungry all day. He just hadn't said anything about it from not wanting to be a bother. And Lindsay seemed nice enough, so he nodded and followed her downstairs.

The second he saw Geoff setting up the table, though, he wanted to return to his room.

They all ate dinner together... at an actual dining table... Michael didn't even know if he had ever done something like that before. Anytime he ate at his house, well, he would usually be sitting alone in his room with whatever junk his mom heated up in the oven or bought on her way home. His parents never cared about eating together. They usually preferred if Michael was out of their sight so they could make-out and act like teenagers, which was actually when they had Michael, so he always assumed they would act that way since they weren't able to when they  _were_  teenagers.

It was disturbing and unnecessary, but Michael just tried to keep out of their way most of the time.

Geoff's face lit up when he saw Michael walking behind Lindsay.

“I hope you like chicken,” he said, a voice filled with hope.

Michael shrugged. “Chicken's good,” he answered.

Geoff smiled at him and gestured towards the table. “Go ahead and take a seat.” He watched as Lindsay went ahead and sat down before he looked over at Ray and Gavin who were still on the couch. “And hey,” he whistled, “Boys. Dinner.”

Gavin and Ray jumped off the couch and hurried into the kitchen to sit at the table. Not long after, Griffon came downstairs and joined them while Geoff began to serve everyone.

“Just in time,” she said as she sat down next to Lindsay.

“Mhm,” Geoff nodded, “So eat up, everyone.”

“Garlic chicken,” Ray said happily, “The best ever.” He picked up his fork and started to dig in, as did Gavin and Lindsay.

Michael watched them a bit at first, seeing how they weren't at all embarrassed being so comfortable with each other. They didn't mind that they weren't related, that were just strangers thrown into the same house, but of course, they had their time to get to know each other. Michael only had half a day.

He grabbed his fork and picked up a piece of the chicken with it. Looking it over, he found his mouth beginning to water before he stuffed the piece in it. The taste was pretty much heavenly, like nothing he'd ever had before. And he was probably eating much faster than everyone else, his plate becoming half empty in minutes.

Griffon smiled sadly at him before she looked down at her own plate and started eating as well. Mostly everyone was getting halfway through their meal, but Michael had already finished and he reached for a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“Would you like anymore?” Griffon asked as she held up the plate of potatoes.

Michael honestly did want more, but he shook his head, not wanting to seem so needy.

“So, how do you feel about going to school tomorrow, Michael?” Geoff asked. “I know it's going to a new school for you and all.”

Michael looked down at his empty plate with a frown. “I... I don't know,” he barely said loud enough for Geoff to hear.

“It'll go great,” Geoff said, “You'll have Gavin, Ray, and Lindsay there.” He looked at the trio and raised his eyebrows. “Right?”

Lindsay smiled brightly as she nodded. “Yeah, Michael. I'll show you around if you need me to. I know that school pretty well.”

“And, uh, I'll introduce you to my friends,” Ray added, “They're cool. You'll like them.” He smiled faintly.

Geoff and Griffon turned to look at Gavin now, and Gavin knew what they were waiting for. The Brit sighed and nodded.

“I'll let you know what to and what not to eat,” he said, barely any emotion in his voice, because Ray and Lindsay already took the obvious answers, but Gavin knew they were actually genuine about them.

Michael could sense that Gavin felt forced to say anything and he rolled his eyes.

“I don't need any of you feeling obligated to be nice to me,” he said, specifically looking at Gavin, but Gavin didn't look back at him. Michael scooted his chair back and went on to say, “School has never been my favorite place, but I'm fine with being alone. I'm used to it by now.” He stood up and looked at Geoff. “May I be excused?”

Geoff frowned a bit, a part of him wanting to say 'no', but he nodded. Michael huffed and hurried out of the kitchen without giving any of the others a second glance. Griffon shook her head and set her fork down as she and Geoff turned to look at the others. Lindsay looked down at her plate and continued to eat silently, feeling bad about what had just happened, even though she knew it wasn't her fault. Ray licked his lips and took a sip of his cup of water as he avoided eye contact with the adults.

Gavin frowned as he looked at his friends and how obviously awkward they felt now. He looked at Geoff and cringed a bit at the way Geoff was staring at him – a typical “I'm disappointed in you” father look.

“Well, we tried being nice,” Gavin said with a shrug, and everyone sighed audibly.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some bullying and mentions of child abuse.

Michael looked down at the schedule he was handed at the beginning of the day from some lady in the main office. Room 112 was the one he was currently looking for, but the way the numbers were listed at the school were a bit confusing. Some had letters, and they were separated by evens and odds, so Michael had to make sure he was looking at the evens, but it took him a while just to find the 'one hundred' wing in the first place.

“Okay, one-twelve... one-twelve,” he mumbled to himself as he carefully read each number next to the doors. “Where the hell-” but he was cut off as he bumped into someone.

“Fucking move,” the person said, getting his friends to laugh, and Michael looked to find a guy, rather taller than him, but he didn't seem much older. Probably only a year older.

Michael wasn't even going to get angry. He took a deep breath and walked on, though that's when he realized he stopped paying attention to the damn classrooms and saw that he was already near room 116.

“Damnit,” he muttered under his breath as he turned around and started to look for 112 again. This only caused him to be distracted again, too distracted to see the same guy and running into him a second time.

“Didn't I _just_ tell you to move?” The guy, leader of the mini group he was with, it seemed, asked.

Michael wrinkled up his nose. “Well now you're the one who should move,” he said, “What are you doing just standing in the middle of the hallway?” He gestured to the space around them.

The guy grabbed Michael by his shirt, but Michael didn't even hesitate as he pushed him away.

The crowd slowly forming around them began to whisper amongst themselves about how a fight was about to happen, and they all seemed so excited about it, too. Though there were some students who looked afraid and wondered why they were even still watching.

“Get your god damn hands off of me,” Michael snapped, and the guy _was_ launching forward until a teacher stepped in between them.

“Hey, you two,” she spoke, “I don't think so.” She standing sideways so she could get a look at both of them. With a finger pointing in a certain direction, she said, “Let's go have a little talk with the principal, shall we?”

Michael rolled his eyes. If she was trying to scare him, it wasn't working. He and the guy walked with the teacher between them. It was her way of separating them, and it was stupid, but Michael kept calm as they continued their little walk of shame down the hallway. He could hear groans of disappoint and sighs of relief behind him, which only annoyed him further. That wasn't supposed to be a show for anyone, but of course it was going to be anyway.

The two of them met with the principal at the same time, both of them displaying dull expressions on their faces from having to listen to the typical lecture; “Fighting is against our rules here and if you two don't learn to get along-” and they tuned out the rest because they knew the rest. If they didn't get along, they would face the consequences.

Yeah, Michael understood that. He didn't into much trouble at his previous school... well, he was held back in kindergarten for hardly ever showing up to school. His parents would drop him off, but as he saw them drive away, he would leave. He never went far, just out to the back field of the small elementary school. He would sit behind a tree, out of sight so he was never found. His parents only found out because his teacher asked them why Michael would miss so many days a week. What actually happened when Michael got home with his parents that day he was caught was something he blocked from his memory. He only recalled screaming, lots and lots of it. He remembered running to his room and crying, but he couldn't remember if it was because he was upset that he got yelled at so badly, or because his mother had laid a hand on him. It was probably due to all of it, though.

After having to repeat kindergarten for being so behind and hardly knowing anything, Michael made sure to behave more. There were times later on in years where he would act out, but that would usually just result in him getting this kind of lecture that he simply didn't care for.

Nobody ever bothered to actually ask him why he would skip school, but if they did, he would be honest and say it was because he didn't like the way it made him feel; being surrounded by so many other kids, even if they were his age. It was uncomfortable and he hated it.

He always hated it. And there were many other times that he would ditch school, but then he told himself there was a reason he tried so hard to block out his punishment. He knew he wouldn't want to relive it, especially since as he got older, the punishments only became worse since the older he got, the more he was able to “handle” it, according to his dad.

The principal finished with his prolonged lecture and noted how the two didn't exactly fight, so he let them off with a mere detention and a call home.

Michael and the bully (whose name he didn't bother figuring out) sat there as the principal called home. Michael didn't listen as the bully's parents had a conversation with the principal, but he did listen slightly as Geoff was called.

“Mr. Ramsey?” the principal asked as Geoff answered, “Yes, I have Michael Jones here in my office, because he actually got into a little argument with another student that almost resulted in-”

“Mr. Ramsey, but your last name is Jones?” The bully asked Michael in a hushed tone.

“Yeah, so what?” Michael asked as he glared at the other.

The bully laughed slightly and shook his head. “You live with those other three losers, I bet. The foster kids?”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows, but he didn't answer, mainly because he didn't care to try and defend where he lived. Why was it a big deal? It really wasn't, but if this guy wanted to use it to insult Michael, then fine. But then the guy had the nerve to say, “Your own parents didn't even want you.” He snorted. “And I bet daddy was the one to mess up your eye, huh?”

Michael felt heat rise all over him as he snarled at him. He really didn't want to act on his anger violently, but he was about to pounce as he saw the bully laugh to himself.

“Mr. Robinson, you can go,” the principal said, “Your parents told me they would talk to you at home.”

“Cool,” the bully said, and Michael was about to stand up as well, but the principal stopped him.

“Not you, Jones,” he said.

Michael blinked and sat still, but he didn't understand. Why could the jerk leave but not him? He wasn't even the one to start it. It wasn't his fault he accidentally bumped into the guy... twice.

“But it's my first day and I have class right now,” Michael said, though he could care less about class. He just didn't want to be there anymore.

“Mr. Ramsey said he's on his way to talk to you,” the principal explained, “therefore, I want you to wait here until he comes.”

Michael groaned. “Why is he coming at all? Nothing happened!”

“I would appreciate if you didn't raise your voice.”

Michael sighed loudly and crossed his arms.

“I told him it wasn't necessary,” the principal went on, “but he insisted.” The man stood up and started heading for the door, but he stopped to say one more thing, “You don't have to be angry because of how your life turned out-”

“Don't you _dare,_ ” Michael began as he turned in his seat to face the principal, “try and act like you _know_ and _understand_ my situation. Only _I_ do.” He pointed to himself.

The principal opened his mouth to respond, but he seemed to decide against it and left his office, leaving Michael to sit in there alone as he waited for Geoff.

Geoff didn't take too long, much to Michael's relief. Michael met him halfway into the main office and Geoff smiled at him.

“Hey, buddy, what happened?” He asked, crossing his arms as he stood in front of the thirteen year old, “First day and you're already in trouble?”

“Get used to it,” Michael told him, shrugging a shoulder.

“Well if I really have to, I will,” Geoff told him. He then motioned towards the chairs against the wall and he and Michael sat in them. “I want you to know that I'm here for you. I know I'm not your real dad and that you probably would never want to see me as one, but that doesn't mean I don't care for you. I hope you know I do care and that you can always talk to me if something or someone is bothering you. Alright?”

Michael scoffed and shook his head. “Can I go to class now?” He asked.

Geoff smiled sadly. “Yeah, sure. Have a good day. Make some friends, crack some jokes-”

“Stop,” Michael held up his hand, “I'm sorry you wasted your time coming here to tell me all of that, but... well,” he stood up, “I'm fine. So, I'll see you after school.”

Geoff nodded and watched as Michael walked away.

The receptionist looked at Geoff with a genuine confused look on her face. Geoff noticed it and shrugged.

“Kid's been through a lot,” he told her, “and he just doesn't want to accept any kind of help.”

The woman nodded as she seemed to understand, but Geoff knew she didn't.

 

* * *

 

Getting from class to class was brutally irritating, especially when no one cared that they were shoving passed you as long as they got to where they needed to go. By his fourth class, Michael was doing just that, pushing through the crowds to get to his own class. He was actually happy when it came time for lunch. He was indeed hungry so he hoped he could find decent food. His last school offered some of the best and worst foods. He didn't know what this school had to offer, but he sure did hope he wouldn't be too disappointed.

Of course everyone had their own group of friends to sit with, or at least one other person they would talk to, but Michael halted in his tracks after getting his food (macaroni and cheese that looked pleasing) and looked around for a place to sit.

He really didn't feel like sitting at a table filled with strangers, even if there was room and he was going to stay out of their conversation. He just didn't want to go through any of that awkwardness. But then he spotted an empty table and hurried over to it.

Lindsay was sitting at a table nearby, and she had noticed Michael the moment he walked into the cafeteria. Currently, her best friend, Barbara, was in the middle of telling one of her crazy stories about her family, but Lindsay interrupted to say, “That's Michael,” while nodding in his direction.

Barbara looked over her shoulder to see who Lindsay was referring to. The corners of her lips rose as she said, “Oh, he's cute.”

Lindsay raised her eyebrows. “Really?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Barbara nodded as she looked at Lindsay again. “He's got the cute curls and freckles. But, aw... what happened to his eye?” Her own eyes widened slightly.

“I can only assume, because none of us wanted to ask, but I'm guessing it's the reason he's finally living with us instead of with his parents.”

Barbara pouted. “Poor Michael.” She glanced over at him again. “And look, he's all alone.”

Lindsay smiled at her but that smile fell immediately as she saw Michael eating in silence, keeping his eyes on his food and not bothering to watch anyone walk passed him.

“Should we join him?” Lindsay asked Barbara.

Barbara eyes brightened as she nodded and the two girls headed over to Michael's table.

“Hi, Michael,” Lindsay greeted as she sat down, making it the first time Michael looked up since he sat down. Lindsay pointed at the blond next to her and said, “This is my best friend, Barbara.”

“Nice to meet you, Michael,” Barbara said as she extended her hand.

Michael sighed before gently shaking it. “You too, Barbara.”

Barbara didn't even allow an awkward silence take over as she immediately jumped into telling another story.

“So last weekend,” she began, “my little brother and I went for a walk with some of our cousins who came to visit from Canada-” And Michael pretty much tuned her out. That story was probably going to end up funny, but Michael just wasn't in the mood to socialize.

He let his eyes wander, to look at every group in the cafeteria, but there was one in particular that caught his attention – the one Gavin and Ray were in.

“The way you two act worries me,” one of the guys that was sitting with them said to Ray and the other guy Michael didn't know, “I just worry about how you two are going to be when Gav and I are off to high school and you two are stuck here all alone for another year.”

“We'll be fine,” Ray told him and Gavin laughed.

Michael tilted his head slightly as he stared at Gavin.

“I don't know how your life is so interesting, Barb,” Lindsay said before she looked down at her food and took a bite of her hamburger.

Barbara was hardly listening to her, though, because she couldn't help but notice who Michael was staring at, and the _way_ he was staring. She smiled a little and looked away.

“Your life is pretty interesting, too,” Barbara told Lindsay.

Lindsay grinned at her and shook her head. “You have no idea.”

At that, Michael sighed, getting both of their attentions.

“Lindsay, Barbara,” he said as he turned his head to face them, “Thanks for sitting with me, but I think I'm done here. I'll talk to you two later.” With a forced smile, he got up and walked away, taking his tray with him.

Barbara frowned a bit and looked at Lindsay for an answer as she asked, “Did I make a bad first impression and scared him off?”

“No,” Lindsay sighed, “I don't think it's possible for _you_ to do that. Well... I mean, it's not like you made any puns.”

Barbara furrowed her eyebrows and Lindsay laughed.

Michael headed towards his locker so he could grab his things and avoid the throng of people that would quickly show up once the bell rang. He noticed the bully he had gotten into an argument with earlier standing by some lockers with his friends. And when they all noticed Michael, their immediate reaction was to laugh – obnoxiously, too.

Michael curled his fingers into tight fists and tried biting back the anger already rising in him. His locker, unfortunately, wasn't too far from where they were, and he could hear them continue to laugh at him – they even said a few things, but Michael couldn't quite hear what. But the more Michael could hear them, just their voices and being able to see them staring at him from the corner of his eye, the angrier he became. He was ready to snap, not caring how many detentions he would receive, or if he even got suspended. As long as it got the guys to shut up, he would be happy.

He grabbed his binder out of his locker and slammed the door shut as he turned to face the group.

The only thing that stopped him from stomping over there was a voice that said, “Ignore them. They did the same to me when I was the new kid last year.”

Michael's eyebrows squeezed together as he looked over his shoulder to find a boy – who looked his age, just shorter – looking at him with a quite friendly smile.

“I'm Kerry,” the boy nodded at him.

Michael took a deep breath, deciding it was best not to get in trouble twice in one day. He turned back around and introduced himself, “I'm Michael.”

“So other than those idiots being idiots, how's your day been?” That was the question Kerry chose to ask, and something about that made Michael feel relieved. He didn't even see Kerry flinch at the sight of him when he saw his right eye, unlike most of his classmates throughout the day have.

“It's been okay,” Michael answered with a shrug. The bell rang, much to Michael's dismay, and he whined. “I hate school.”

Kerry laughed as he nodded. “Yeah, don't we all?”

The corners of Michael's lips barely twitched up as he looked at Kerry. His eyes shifted over to a certain quartet walking towards them. Gavin and the other two guys that Michael didn't know were paying no attention to anything or anyone else but each other, but Ray noticed Michael and halted in his tracks.

“Hey, guys, wait,” he told his friends, and the three of them stopped walking as well.

“Introduction, remember?” Ray asked Gavin when Gavin looked at him in confusion.

“Oh,” Gavin mouthed as he nodded.

“Michael,” Ray said with a smile as he turned to him, “These are our friends; Miles and Kdin.” He pointed to them.

“Hi,” Kdin waved.

“Sup?” Miles grinned.

“Miles and... Kdin?” Michael squinted his eyes. “What kind of name is that?”

“Mine,” Kdin said proudly, crossing his arms.

“How do you even spell that?” Michael asked.

“K-D-I-N. Why are you so interested in my name?”

“Because I've never heard of such a stupid name,” Michael bitterly said before walking off in the other direction.

Kerry looked at the group, and they all looked back at him, each of them taken aback by Michael's response.

“So, I'm just gonna go...” Kerry said as he took a few steps away from them, and then he quickly left in the same direction Michael went.

Kdin was frowning when he turned to face Ray. “When you said you wanted to introduce us to the new guy in your house, I thought he would be cool,” he said.

Miles shrugged. “Well, he didn't make fun of my name so I'm happy.” And Kdin scowled at him, making the smile on Miles' face fade instantly.

Ray shook his head. “I'm sorry, guys. I didn't think he would react like that.”

“Because you forgot to mention that Michael isn't exactly the nicest one of all,” Gavin said.

“Yeah, seriously. Why is he like that, anyway?” Miles asked, looking back and forth from Ray and Gavin.

Gavin opened his mouth to explain, but then he realized it was Michael's business and not his to tell. So he sighed and said, “Too much.”

“Hey... hey, Michael!” Kerry called as he tried catching up with him in the hall.

Michael blinked and stopped walking when he heard his name, and Kerry came to an immediate halt before running right into Michael.

“If you're gonna give me a lecture on how to be nicer to people,” Michael began, “I don't care.” He had heard enough lectures for the day. He turned to leave, but Kerry said, “No, no! I wasn't.”

Michael pursed his lips, but turned back to Kerry again.

“You know Ray and Gavin?” Kerry asked.

Michael wanted to roll his eyes, but he resisted and nodded instead. “I happen to be a foster kid, too.”

Kerry's eyebrows rose and Michael scoffed.

“Yeah, laugh it up,” Michael said, “Now I bet you don't even want to _consider_ talking to me, which again, I don't care.” He faked a smile as he patted Kerry's arm and said, “Yeah, it was nice meeting you, Kerry. Bye,” but again, before he could actually leave, Kerry shouted, “Wait!”

Michael groaned loudly and turned back around _once_ again. He knew he could simply keep walking away, but there was something about Kerry that he didn't mind _too_ much. And that surprised himself.

“Stop making assumptions, dude,” Kerry said with a smile. “I don't care where you come from. I was just surprised you weren't hanging out with them already. I mean, they and Lindsay seem so close-”

“Now look who's making assumptions,” Michael pointed out.

Kerry widened his eyes and laughed nervously. “Oops,” he said, and Michael smiled – a genuine smile where the corners of his lips actually curled up enough to make his dimples show.

“Well, we better get to class,” Kerry said as he noticed the hallway emptying out, “before we're la-” and then the bell for class to start rang. “te...” he finished the word anyway.

Michael raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Better late than never,” he said, “so relax. What class are you heading to?”

Kerry sighed, but being late rather than never showing up was indeed true, so he smiled and said, “English with Thompson.”

“Looks like we'll both walk in with our heads held high proudly into the same classroom then.”

“Oh, yeah, the teacher won't suspect a thing!” Kerry laughed, but it sounded nervous again.

Michael shook his head. “Kerry, you have an advantage, you know?”

Kerry stopped laughing to look at Michael as if trying to ask 'What are you talking about?' which is what he asked, “What are you talking about?”

Michael pointed to himself, “New kid.” Kerry wasn't getting it, so Michael shook his head and went on, “You can just say you were helping me out with a few things before we went to class.”

“Oh,” Kerry nodded, “Yeah, that could work.”

“It _will_ work.”

Kerry grinned and hit Michael on the stomach with the back of his hand, meaning for it to be a playful gesture of indication that he liked this idea very much, but Michael stiffened as pain rose from the spot Kerry had touched. He took a step back and away from Kerry, trying his best not to cringe from the ache. Kerry noticed and held up his hands up slowly, as if in defense.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked Michael.

Michael inhaled a sharp breath and nodded. “Y-yeah,” he answered, looking away from Kerry. Truthfully, it didn't hurt as much as it could have, but it still sent a sort of shock throughout Michael's body.

Being kicked repeatedly in the stomach from time to time was sure to leave a bruise (or bruis _es_ ) that wasn't easily ignored, even with the most simple touch.

But Michael would live, and he didn't want to complain about it, either.

“Let's go to class,” Michael offered once he regained himself; he also smiled again, to let Kerry know everything was fine and not have the poor kid afraid he had done something extremely wrong.

Kerry nodded. “Okay,” he said, “Yeah, let's go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any questions or just want to talk to me about this fic, you can find me on tumblr at mogarsjones.tumblr.com :)


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for this chapter: it contains child abuse; physically and verbally.

The rest of the school day went by pretty smoothly, or at least as smooth as it can go. Michael hardly paid attention in his last classes, but he was glad he didn't have to go through some useless introductions. The teachers really didn't care that he was the new kid. They only told him a few of the classroom rules and then where to sit, and that was that. When the last bell of the day rang, Michael sighed in relief and headed on his way out, barely catching his teacher telling the class what pages the homework questions would be on.

Michael walked to the front hall and found Ray, Gavin, and Lindsay, but they were also with the other two guys from earlier – Miles and...

“Oh, look, it's K-done,” Michael joked as he joined them, and Kdin pouted as he looked at Ray.

Ray huffed, but he said nothing to Michael and they all continued their slightly awkward walk outside to where the buses were parked.

“Do any of you,” Miles began to say, but he kept his eyes mainly on Ray, Gavin, and Lindsay, “wanna come over tomorrow after school? My mom's making lasagna and it's her first time, so I'm scared.”

“I'll go,” Kdin said, and Miles silently did a victory cheer.

“What about you guys?” Miles looked at the three others, still avoiding making any eye contact with Michael.

Michael blinked and crossed his arms, but he didn't mind what was going on. In fact, it was amusing to see how much this Miles guy was trying to leave him out.

“I have a test I have to study for,” Lindsay told Miles, “So count me out. Sorry.” She smiled apologetically.

“Michael!” Everyone turned to see who was calling for Michael as if it was such a shocker.

Michael nodded at Kerry as the short blond walked up to him.

“You ride this bus, too?” Kerry asked, a smile forming on his face when Michael nodded again. “Awesome. Well, hey, let's get in there before all the decent seats are gone.”

Michael watched Kerry hop onto the bus, but he glanced at the others for a bit before following. Just because he lived in the same house as Ray, Gavin, and Lindsay didn't mean he had to sit with them on the way home, and for that, he was glad.

Ray shook his head and looked at Miles again, “I'll see if I can go,” he said.

“Me too,” Gavin nodded.

Miles smiled at them and moved aside. He waved goodbye to them and Kdin as they got onto the bus. Kerry sat next to the window when it was noted that Michael would be getting off the bus first, and really, Michael didn't give a shit about where he sat on the seat. He was a bit relieved, though, that Kerry rode the same bus because he knew Ray and that Kdin kid would sit next each other while Lindsay and Gavin sat together and he would have been left to sit with someone he didn't even know.

“So, overall,” Kerry spoke, “first day of school for you, how did it go?”

Michael shrugged a shoulder. “Could have been worse,” he admitted.

“That's what I said about my first day.”

Michael nodded. “How long did it take you to get know exactly where all your classes were and to make friends?” Not that he cared about the friend part. He just, in some way, did want to keep the conversation with Kerry going without any pauses for the bus ride home.

“It took me a few days,” Kerry answered, “to know where all my classes were without getting a bit lost here and there.” He averted his eyes as he sighed, “And to make friends? Well, this is my second month here, so...” He forced himself to look at Michael again, “Two months?”

Michael's expression softened as he understood what Kerry was trying to say, and even though he wasn't quite sure how to feel about that, he smiled a little.

“Is he gonna stay with you guys for a while or does he have somewhere else to go?” Kdin asked Ray. Ray had been mildly distracted by admiring a girl sitting a few seats ahead of them, but at the sound of Kdin's voice, he looked at him.

“Apparently he made a deal with Geoff,” Ray explained, “That he would stay with us a week and if he didn't like it, he wouldn't stay.”

Kdin raised his eyebrows as he glanced over at where Michael was sitting, talking on and on about something with Kerry.

“Well, that's... rude,” Kdin said quietly.

“It is,” Ray nodded, “and it does make me a little mad, but we've all been through a lot and he deserves to be treated the way we treat each other. We also just want to be the better people, at least that's what Lindsay said.” Kdin smiled at Ray.

Although Kerry and Michael's conversation seemed to die down, neither of them made the silence feel uncomfortable in any way. They were content with sitting there while the entire bus filled with laughter and about twenty different conversations of something unimportant that happened during the school day – mostly gossip or relationship problems, but they didn't sound like actual problems, and Michael rolled his eyes as he overheard some of them.

Once his bus stop appeared, he stood up and looked at Kerry.

“Uh, see you tomorrow,” he mumbled and didn't even wait for Kerry to respond, but Kerry did smile and wave.

Michael was the first off the bus, followed by Ray, then Gavin and Lindsay. The four of them started their walk to the house, none of them even bothering to talk or look at each other until they actually got into the house.

“I will never like school,” Ray whined as he tossed his backpack aside by the staircase.

Gavin did the same and they both walked into the living room. Lindsay waited behind and looked at Michael.

“Wanna help me steal the remote from them?” She asked. “They usually like to occupy the TV with boring shows that they assume is entertainment.”

Michael glanced over her shoulder to see Ray and Gavin jump onto the couch and laugh as they started flipping through the channels.

“I'm actually pretty tired,” Michael said to Lindsay, “Think I might go take a nap or something.”

Lindsay nodded, a small smile on her face. “Okay, well, we'll be down here if you need us.”

Michael squinted his eyes at her, but he sighed and headed up the stairs. Lindsay watched him for a moment before turning around and running into the living room. Michael could hear her scream at the boys about how they needed to stop hogging the remote all the time. Then he heard some shuffling around followed by a screech that sounded like it came from Gavin.

Michael shook his head and continued his way to the bedroom. He didn't take a nap. He wasn't actually in need of one. He only told Lindsay that so he wouldn't feel like he was obligated to hang out with them. Yeah they were nice – well, Lindsay definitely was, no doubt about it – but Michael just preferred the peace he received from being alone. Besides, the three of them all knew each other so well and he was still just the new kid in their house (as if it wasn't bad enough having to be the new kid at school, too). They probably had a million memories to talk about, a few hundred inside jokes to laugh at, and Michael wouldn't understand any of it. So, he avoided spending time alone with them.

He just sat on his bed and decided to maybe do his homework, but that resulted in him half doing his homework and half staring up at the ceiling and letting his mind wander anywhere until it was time for dinner.

And at dinner, he was asked the questions he expected from Geoff and Griffon, “How was your first day?”, “Did you make any friends?”, etc – the usual.

Michael answered them truthfully, too, but he hated the way Gavin stared at him as he answered each one. Michael was ready to glare at him and asked what the fuck he wanted, but he resisted.

“Geoff told me what happened this morning,” Griffon said to him.

Michael licked his lips and put his fork down. “Yeah, so...”

“If anyone gives you problems, Michael-”

“I should go tell a teacher, right?” Michael interrupted Griffon, because he knew that's what she was going to say, but the way she frowned and went back to eating silently made it difficult for Michael not to feel guilty.

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at Michael.

“That would be the best solution,” Lindsay said, “You won't be made fun of for it. Lots of students tell an adult when they're being picked on.”

“Like me,” Ray said, though he sounded ashamed.

Michael sighed loudly and stood up.

“You haven't finished your food yet,” Geoff told him, looking at him with a concerned expression.

“Yeah well I'm full,” Michael said, “So if you don't mind, I'm going back upstairs to finish my homework.”

“Michael-” but Geoff stopped as he saw how antsy Michael looked to get out of there. Instead, he nodded and said, “Okay, go ahead, buddy.”

Michael sighed and turned around as he walked out of there. 

“That's the second night he's left the dinner table before the rest of us,” Griffon said. 

Gavin opened his mouth to say something, but he decided against it and merely looked down at his food to continue eating. 

 

* * *

 

Ray did this thing where he liked to take as much time as he could with getting ready for bed. He would keep his nightstand lamp on while he was out in the bathroom brushing his teeth. And at this point, Michael was actually sleep, but the bright light was preventing him from falling asleep. He tried, though, from not wanting to complain about the light, but it was beginning to get on his nerves. He groaned and buried his face in his pillow, but that was only comfortable for about two minutes. 

Ray finally returned and closed the door behind him

“Sorry,” Ray mumbled, knowing Michael probably hated that the lamp was on too long.

Ray turned it off and crawled into bed. Michael turned over so his back would be facing Ray, and slowly, his eyes shut, and it was so simple for him to fall asleep. He had no idea how he had gotten so sleepy.

 

* * *

 

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Michael gasped and froze because he knew that question was directed at him, and he knew who was asking it, too.

“Look at me when I'm talking to you, you little piece of shit,” his father said through his clenched teeth before grabbing Michael's arm and yanking him backwards.

Michael spun around and looking up, he felt small, as he always did under his father's gaze. He tried not showing his fear, because he would be called _weak_ and his father wasn't going to allow his son to be _weak_.

“Answer my question, damnit!”

Michael closed his eyes for a second and looked up at Mr. Jones again. He took a deep breath and thanked goodness it didn't come out as shaky as it probably should have, considering he was as afraid as ever.

What had he even done this time? He was only looking at his mom's collection of CD's, because he wanted to listen to some music...

“I was...” Michael swallowed hard, “I was looking for a certain CD.”

“What CD?”

“I-I don't know yet-”

“Stop stuttering.”

“I'm sorry, sir,” Michael took another deep breath, “I'll work on that.” The grip his father had on his arm increased and Michael couldn't help himself as he winced.

“Oh, does that hurt?” Mr. Jones asked, his voice so mocking that Michael practically pouted. “I asked you a question,” his voice rose.

“No, sir,” Michael answered. “I'm fine.” And that was enough to make Mr. Jones' grip get even tighter, and tighter until it Michael's arm stung. He had to stay strong, though. He couldn't show weakness, but right when he was going to give up, his father let go.

“Honey!” He called and when he was looking away, Michael took that opportunity to gently rub his arm.

“Yes?!” Mrs. Jones called back.

“I think you should know Michael was messing around with your things again.”

Michael's eyes widened and he shook his head when he saw his mother walk into the living room.

“What?” She asked, her voice stern as she glared at Michael.

“He wanted to ' _listen to music_ ',” Mr. Jones put air quotes around that and Michael continued to shake his head.

“No, not anymore,” Michael said. He tried leaving, but Mr. Jones grabbed him again. “No, Dad! Mom! I'm sorry. Please! I won't do it again!” But of course they weren't listening.

Mrs. Jones was silently laughing to herself from watching Michael's struggle out of his father's grip.

“Let go of me!” Michael shouted, and he knew he shouldn't have shouted, but the fear that had been building up inside got the best of him.

Mr. Jones grabbed Michael by his curly hair and pulled him down. “Did you just yell at me?” He asked the boy.

Michael reached his hands up and tried loosening his father's grip on his hair, but it was useless.

“Answer me!”

“Yes,” Michael quickly responded, “Yes, I did.”

“You really do make me sick,” Mr. Jones snarled at him and the last thing Michael saw before everything went black was the chestnut wood floor panels on the living room floor.

 

* * *

 

Michael sat up as he woke from that, a loud gasp escaping him. He was breathing heavily and almost drenched in his own sweat; his shirt stuck to his chest. Michael brushed his hair back with his fingers so it wouldn't stick to his forehead. That's when he noticed his trembling hands.

“That was a year ago,” Michael whispered to himself, “That was a year ago... you're okay. You're okay.” But even if that had happened a year ago, he had only escaped the abuse a week earlier, so he still hadn't adjust to feeling safe and he wasn't sure if he could, not with those memories coming to him in nightmares. He didn't know the feeling of being somewhere that he couldn't be hurt that way.

Michael looked over at Ray who was still deep in his sleep. He checked the time on the digital clock – midnight.

“Oh, man,” Michael breathed out, finally feeling himself calm down.

Water... he wanted water.

As quietly as he could, he got out of bed and made his way out of the bedroom, cursing under his breath when the door squeaked.

“Fuck you,” he muttered as he slowly closed it behind him.

Looking down the hallway where Geoff and Griffon's bedroom was, Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and headed the other way towards the stairs.

 

* * *

 

Gavin groaned as he felt himself wake up. Something wasn't right. He shouldn't be awake yet. There wasn't any light coming from outside, besides the street lamps and the slight moonlight. He went ahead and looked over at the clock next to his bed and his eyes widened. Why was he awake at 1:20 in the morning?

A loud sigh escaped him as he decided to get up and go for a nice glass of water, especially with how dry his lips felt. It was a struggle to get out of his bed, though, but he managed and dragged his feet as he walked out of the room. He couldn't even bring himself to stop yawning as he started walking down the stairs that he almost turned back, but the sound of sniffling made him halt in is tracks completely.

At first, he thought he had just been hearing things, but when he heard another sniffle, he slowly took a a few more steps down and peeked into the kitchen.

Sitting at the counter was Michael. Gavin couldn't see his face, but from the sounds coming from him, he could only assume that Michael was... crying.

Gavin pursed his lips as he made his way into the kitchen. He wanted to casually get that glass of water and leave, but once he was heading for the sink, he turned to look at Michael. Michael was indeed crying, but his eyes were closed and Gavin knew he hadn't been noticed yet.

Now this was awkward.

Gavin hesitated on what to do – to leave, to say something, or to get his water? He looked around, debating on it, but then Michael opened his eyes and gasped at the sight of the Brit.

“Oh, shit,” Michael said under his breath as he quickly tried wiping his face, feeling too exposed.

“Sorry,” Gavin mumbled, “Only came here some water.”

Michael sniffled and nodded. “Yeah, me too,” he lifted the glass that had been resting next to him.

Gavin filled his own glass and took a sip, wishing he would have just went back to bed. He finished the water and set the glass into the sink.

“It's late,” he said, “You should probably get some sleep.” And with that, he was about to leave, but he heard Michael begin to softly cry again.

And Gavin didn't want to care. He just wanted to go to his bed, let his eyes get the rest they were still begging for, but he couldn't ignore Michael either, not with those cries.

“Michael,” he said gently.

“Go away,” Michael tried sounding like his normal angry self, but it wasn't working. There was a crack in his voice that was almost too painful to hear. Then Gavin saw Michael's hands trembling a bit as he picked up the cup of water again.

His expression softened when he realized what exactly happened to Michael. It was only more than obvious to him. “I had nightmares, too,” he said, his voice still quiet.

“What?” Michael asked, side glancing him, pretending as if he didn't know what Gavin was talking about.

Gavin licked his lips and stepped closer to Michael. “When I first came here, I had plenty of nightmares of what happened to me. I know they're scary and you can't just forget them, but Michael, they're not real.”

“They were once,” Michael whispered.

“But not anymore,” Gavin shook his head, “You got away from that.”

Michael stared out the kitchen window for a moment, looking as though he was considering something, but then he just said, “Yeah, whatever,” in that mumbled angry voice of his.

Gavin wanted to roll his eyes and act like he couldn't even care less, but he could see how scared Michael was and how he was desperately trying to mask it. So without a warning, he walked up behind Michael and wrapped his arms around him; the side of his face resting on Michael's back.

At first, Michael wanted to push the blond away from him, but then Gavin gave him a gentle squeeze that made him gasp again. It was evident Gavin wasn't going to let go until Michael reciprocated. Slowly, he placed his hand on one of Gavin's arms that was wrapped around his waist and patted it, since he didn't know how else to hug the Brit back in the position they were in. But he also leaned back a little into Gavin and Gavin lifted his head.

Michael sniffled again, but the feeling of wanting to just burst into tears wasn't really there anymore.

He looked over his shoulder and was met with Gavin looking back at him. Neither of them said anything. Neither of them smiled, yet they remained like that. After a moment, Michael averted his eyes and leaned more into Gavin, giving Gavin the opportunity to give him another reassuring squeeze.

A part of Michael still wanted to pull out of this hug and get the hell away from Gavin, because this was just too close for comfort, but he couldn't help but know that this did calm him down. He had been sitting there in the kitchen for over an hour, shaking and crying to himself over a stupid, haunting memory, and now Gavin was there, and even though the nightmare was still flashing through Michael's mind like it had just happened in reality a few hours ago, he did feel better than he did when he woke up.

And it was strange that he did, because this was Gavin, the one who clearly had the biggest problem with him. Michael wasn't going to question it. He didn't want to have that discussion when it was close to two in the morning. So he told that voice in his head that was screaming “Get out of there now!” to shut up for a bit as he allowed himself to just... _accept_ this moment. Just for now. He and Gavin could go back to exchanging cruel stares later on when the sun was up, but right now, he could enjoy this.

But the thing was, that wasn't the last time it happened.

 


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains child abuse; just like the previous chapter, with physical and verbal abuse, and some emotional neglect.

It happened again during the next night, and it was as though Gavin was waiting for it, because he opened his eyes at around midnight to hear footsteps walking down the hallway. He knew it was Michael, heading downstairs in an attempt to calm himself down with a glass of water. Gavin jumped out of his bed and left his bedroom, but he waited until Michael was off the stairs and heading into the kitchen before he followed.

Gavin watched from the small hallway how Michael grabbed a clean glass from the dish rack, but Gavin could see how badly his hand was trembling from the way the glass looked like it was going to fall out of Michael's hand. Gavin moved closer, enough to where the moonlight was now hitting him. Michael gasped at the sight of a figure standing there, _watching_ him, and he almost really did drop the glass, but he managed to hold onto it as he spun around.

Gavin smiled apologetically. “Didn't mean to scare you,” he whispered.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Michael mumbled back. He turned to the sink and turned on the water, but his eyes were beginning to burn with tears pricking at them.

Gavin watched, and waited, to see Michael fill his glass, but that moment never came. Michael stood there, head hung low, and Gavin could hear his shaky intakes of air.

“Michael,” Gavin said as he stepped closer.

Michael shut off the faucet, but he didn't look at Gavin as the Brit got even closer. Being only inches away from Michael now, Gavin gently took the glass from Michael's hand and set it on the counter. Michael, no longer knowing what to do his with hands, curled them into fists, hoping it would stop the shaking.

The blond placed a hand on Michael's back and began rubbing small circles into it. Michael still kept his head down, but instead of a stream of tears running down his face, only one did. Gavin wiped it off gently with his free hand, receiving a glare from Michael.

“Go away,” Michael said to him, and it was evident that he had wanted to sound threatening, but he sounded quiet and broken.

“Do you really want me to?” Gavin asked. Michael nodded.

Though despite his wishes, Gavin stayed. He stayed and continued to silently comfort Michael until Michael's eyes looked like they could barely keep open. That's when they would both quietly walk back upstairs and say nothing as they went into their own rooms, just like they did the following night as well.

 

* * *

 

“The one thing that makes me happy is how warm they keep these,” Kerry said as he held up a chicken nugget from his tray. “The last thing we need is for these yummy little things to betray us.”Michael couldn't help but grin at that.

“Yummy little things?” He asked.

Kerry nodded. “Yeah! Try one. It will probably make you wish everyday was Thursday during lunch just so you can munch on these.”

Michael raised a questioning eyebrow at Kerry, but with the reassuring smile the latter was giving him, Michael sighed and picked up a chicken nugget.

“Well,” he said, “No harm in trying.” Kerry watched eagerly as Michael took a bite out of it. Michael chewed slowly, letting the flavor settle into his mouth, then he rose his eyebrows and nodded.

“Not bad,” he said.

“I knew you'd like it,” Kerry said excitedly, maybe too excitedly. It was just chicken nuggets.

Michael and Kerry continued to eat them as Gavin and Ray still waited in line with their friends to even get any food.

“There better be some more chicken nuggets or I'll riot,” Kdin said as he crossed his arms.

Miles looked at Gavin and huffed. “This is all your fault,” he said.

“Mine?” Gavin asked, taken a bit aback by the accusation. “What did I do?”

“Because you thought it was the _perfect_ time to flirt with that one girl in the hallway,” Ray answered.

“I think she likes me,” Gavin said, smiling a little lopsidedly, but he stopped his smile when he saw the annoyed looks on his friends' faces. “Who said you had to wait for me?”

“We're your friends,” Kdin told him, “Friends wait for each other.”

“Like I always say, 'waffle',” Ray stated proudly.

“We are friends, friends love each,” Miles said to him, making Ray furrow his eyebrows.

“Each _other_ ,” he corrected Miles, “Why would it just be 'each'?”

“Because 'each other' is _two_ words,” Kdin informed him, holding up two fingers. Ray's eyes widened and he stared at Kdin like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“This just in, Ray has learned something,” Gavin joked.

“And what a perfect place for it to happen, too,” Miles said, “in the school cafeteria.”

“Okay, well, that is kinda surprising to me, but...” Ray shrugged, “You know, it's fine. I'm just... I'm...” he sighed in defeat, “I'm never gonna look at that word the same again.” Kdin patted his back.

“There, there, Ray,” he told him, in that feign sympathetic voice of his.

The line moved and the boys were finally able to grab their lunches, relieved when they were the last four, well also including a girl behind them, to get some chicken nuggets. Every other kid behind them groaned and whined, but the friends merely snickered as they headed off to put in their lunch numbers.

“The pizza we had yesterday wasn't too bad,” Michael said to Kerry as they were still on the topic of cafeteria food.

“Yeah, but they have pizza everyday,” Kerry reminded him, “And I just feel like they get lazy with it and just throw it into oven only to get it out ten minutes too early.”

“If you're lucky, you grab one that was in the oven too minutes too late,” Michael joked, and Kerry laughed.

Michael smiled slightly. He looked up to find Gavin, Ray, Kdin, and Miles walking away from the line and heading towards their usual table. Kerry noticed and followed Michael's gaze.

“Do you... do you want to go hang out with them?” He asked Michael.

“What?” Michael asked as he forced himself to look away. “Why would I want to?” Kerry shrugged.

“Just the way you were staring at them,” he said softly. “It's okay if you want to go hang out with them instead-”

“Kerry, shut up,” Michael cut him off, making Kerry instantly close his mouth, “I already have to deal with them at home. I don't want to have to deal with them at school, but if, for some reason, I did go hang out with them, you'd be there with me.” He looked down at the remaining chicken nuggets on his tray and picked one up. “Maybe with you there, I could tolerate them.”

Kerry couldn't help but smile wide. Michael stuffed the chicken nugget into his mouth and smiled a little back. Gavin glanced over at Michael, but he quickly looked over when Michael noticed. Michael raised an eyebrow, though he shook his head and went back to listening to what Kerry was saying.

 

* * *

 

Michael sat at the dining table – the large and round dining table that almost felt too high, even when he sat on the patted chair. Then again, he was suddenly four years old again, and everything almost looked too big or too tall to him. He looked around the room, a blurry dining room with walls that looked so dull and lonely. In front of him lied a plate of some frozen meal that was heated up for him; it was one with mashed potatoes, some beef, corn, peas, and carrots. He hated vegetables.

Laughter came from the other room, dragging Michael's attention away from the unappetizing food. It was his mother laughing at something his father had said. He always knew how to make her laugh.

Michael made a face as he looked at the food again, and he crossed his arms, wanting to refuse to eat it, but there was a reason he was the only one in the dining room. His parents had finished their dinner and told Michael that he wasn't allowed to leave until everything on that plate was spotless.

He tried to find a way to get rid of this food without having to eat it, but his thoughts were interrupted by stomps heading into the room.

Michael gasped and started stuffing the mouth into his mouth, not even bothering with using the utensils because he _needed_ to make the food disappear before his parents saw he hadn't finished yet. The taste was unpleasant on his tongue, and Michael wanted to spit out, but he powered through, chewing with his mouth open and eyes closed tightly.

“You've been in here for over an hour,” he heard his mom say, “and you're still not done?” Michael quit chewing at this point as he opened his eyes to meet her angry stare.

“I'm not hungry,” Michael told her, but it sounded muffled due to his full mouth.

“Oh, you're not hungry?” Mrs. Jones asked, her voice sounding briefly sweet, but when Michael shook his head, that tone changed. “Well, you just made me waste my time on heating that up for you. Not only that, you wasted food. Do you think your dad and I can afford to waste any food, Michael? No, we can't. I work really hard to earn the little money I do. That little money goes towards, not only your food and bills, but every other stupid necessity you need.” Michael swallowed the food in his mouth and slumped into his seat.

“That's not all I have to spend my money on, though,” Mrs. Jones continued, “I also have to pay for my college tuition, but you'll be the reason I end up having to drop out, because every little extra money has been going towards _you_.”

“I'm sorry,” Michael barely whispered, his eyes watering.

“You know, I didn't get to spend my last year in high school with my friends,” his mom went on, “because I had to stay home and get ready to have _you._ ” She pointed at him. “I just wish you would understand all the sacrifices I made, and _continue_ making, for you, you ungrateful little brat.”

Michael's lip quivered and he scooted his chair back. He attempted to to run out of there, but she grabbed his arm.

“Mommy, I'm sorry,” Michael choked out.

Mrs. Jones picked him up and sat him back down on the chair, or rather, practically threw him on it.

“Ow,” Michael cried softly as his elbow hit the wooden armrest on the chair.

“Now, eat,” Mrs. Jones said sternly. She grabbed Michael's face and forced him to look down at his food. “Eat.”

“No,” Michael said quietly.

“Don't you _dare_ say 'no' to me. I will make your dad come in here and get you to eat.”

“No!” Michael cried, his tears running down his face as he stared at his mom in horror.

“Then eat!”

“I'm not hungry!”

Mrs. Jones rolled her eyes and didn't hesitate as she lifted her hand and slapped it across Michael's damped face.

“Ouch!” Michael yelled out as he covered his face, not able to stop himself from crying harder.

“Oh my god!” He heard his father shout from the living room. “Tell him to stop crying already!”

“I'm trying,” Mrs. Jones shouted back. She grabbed Michael's hands and pulled him off his face so he had to look at her again. “Now, listen-”

“No!”

“Listen to me!”

“NO!” Michael cried out as he opened his eyes and sat up, his heart pounding faster than usual.

Ray jumped and woke up immediately at the sound of Michael's scream. He looked over to see Michael seeming to catch his breath and he reached over to turn on the lamp.

“Michael?” He spoke, but Michael didn't look at him. “Hey, are you okay?” But of course Michael wasn't okay, so Ray shook his head and said, “What happened?”

Michael sounded as though he was struggling to hold back his cries that Ray got out of his bed and ran over to him.

“Hey, Michael, look at me,” Ray said as he made it to Michael's side, yet Michael still didn't bother to face the younger lad.

“Michael, please,” Ray urged, “You're freaking me out.”

Michael took a deep, shaky breath and turned his head. Ray sighed in relief as they made eye contact.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. Michael had a dull expression on his face, and then he shook his head.

“It's okay,” Ray told him, “You're okay.” He paused a moment, trying to come up with something that would help Michael in any way. “I remember when I used to be so scared,” he started, getting Michael to furrow his eyebrows. “My mom loved leaving me home alone a lot since I was six.”

This little story was the last thing Michael wanted to hear. If he was being completely honest with himself, he could really go for a certain British kid's company instead. But the way Ray was looking at him, trying to get him to understand that it was okay to be scared made Michael listen.

 

* * *

 

“Shit, I think I'm all out,” Ray heard his mother mumble under her breath.

He was sitting on the couch in the living room, but at the sound of her voice, he looked at her over his shoulder.

“Ray,” she spoke.

“What is it?” Ray asked.

“I need to go out and get something,” she said as she headed for her purse and car keys. Ray's eyes widened in fear when he watched her walk to the front door.

“Wait!” He called.

Ms. Narvaez huffed, but she turned to him. “Yes?” she asked, obviously annoyed.

“B-but... is someone going to look after me?” He was almost worried of the answer, but he asked anyway.

“Why would I call someone to come look after you when I'm just going to the market?” His mom questioned, narrowing her eyes at the little boy.

“I don't wanna be home all by myself!” Ray complained as he jumped off the couch. “Can I come with you?”

“No. Why? There's no point. Ray, I'll be _right_ back.” Ms. Narvaez turned back to the door and opened it. “Look, this is going to be locked, and as long as you don't go outside, you'll survive. You're a big boy now. You can handle ten minutes alone.” Ray swallowed roughly. 

“You promise it will be only ten minutes?” Ms. Narvaez squinted her eyes at her son, but she nodded.

“Only ten,” she told him. 

“O-okay,” Ray answered, his voice a bit shaky. He stood there and waved goodbye to his mom as she walked out. He could hear the sound of the door being locked, and then waited until he could hear the engine of her car starting up. 

Ray closed his eyes and took deep breaths. 

“It's okay, it's okay,” he repeated to himself. “It's okay.” The boy sat back down on the couch and tried his best to concentrate on the cartoon he had been watching. 

He kept finding himself looking at the door, expecting his mom to walk back in with her  _medicine_ because he knew that's what she ran out of. The episode of the cartoon ended and another started, yet his mom still hadn't returned. 

Ray was beginning to feel impatient from how paranoid he was. Any little noise made him jump and hug his teddy bear, that had been sitting next to him, tighter. 

Another episode ended and still no sign of his mother.

Then there a loud thud against the roof, making Ray scream and hide under his blanket, unable to control himself from not crying. 

“Mommy!” He called out. “Mommy, please come back!” As if screaming out for her would make her magically appear. 

Another thud and Ray grabbed the remote to turn up the volume on the cartoon, hoping it would block out all the sounds. It had been at least over an hour since Ms. Narvaez left and it was clear that she wasn't coming home anytime soon. 

She broke her promise. She said she would return in ten minutes, and Ray kept telling himself it hadn't been ten minutes yet. No, his mother wouldn't lie to him like that. She wouldn't break her promises, but when the marathon of the cartoon ended and she still wasn't home, Ray began to cry again. 

He just wanted her to come home. Why wouldn't she come home?

Ray managed to turn off the TV and run to his bedroom without anything happening to him. That's when he realized the thuds had only been thunder. He could hear the rain pouring outside better in his room, and as he lied in bed, he spent his time just watching the rain droplets on his window roll down. He attempted to distract himself with it, pretending each droplet was racing another to see which would one could reach the bottom first. 

It worked, all for about twenty minutes until he heard the front door open. 

Ray gasped and ran back into the living room to see his mother, but what he saw was the complete opposite of the mother he wanted to come home. 

Ms. Narvaez could barely lock the door, or barely walk at all. She was stumbling, having to hold onto the wall. Ray started taking steps backwards, quietly so she wouldn't see him, and she didn't. She merely held a plastic bag in her hand as she headed into the kitchen. 

Ray heard her laughing before the sound of a can opening came to his ears. He frowned, feeling tears form in his eyes again, and with a sigh, he turned around and went back to his bedroom. He crawled onto his bed and made himself comfortable, or as comfortable as he could, but he wasn't sleepy – not even a little. 

The rain was slowing down now, and the droplet races now seemed so far from interesting. 

 

* * *

 

The door opened wide and Lindsay and Gavin looked as though they had flew into the bedroom, both wide eyed. Michael and Ray turned their attention on them and Ray almost wanted to ask what took them so long. 

“Are you guys okay?” Lindsay asked. “Should I go get Geoff and Griffon?”

“No!” Michael spoke up, “No, don't do that.” Before they could even protest, Michael stood up and headed out of there as quickly as he could.

Lindsay looked at Ray for an answer while Gavin went after Michael.

“Michael!” He called to the auburn haired boy, but Michael simply ignored him. “Michael, hold on!”

“Leave me alone!” Michael shouted as he turned around to face the Brit. He couldn't figure out why he had actually wanted Gavin there with him a few moments ago. He didn't want anyone near him.

“You don't have to run from me,” Gavin told him.

“I don't feel like talking to you, okay?!”

Griffon stiffened in her sleep, but she opened her eyes, sure that she heard yelling. She sat up a little and listened closely.

“I'm just trying to help you,” Gavin said, sounding as though he was _begging_ Michael to talk to him.

“I don't need your god damn help!” Michael continued to shout. 

At that, Griffon rolled over and shook Geoff. 

“Geoff, wake up,” she said, “I think the kids are arguing.”

Geoff groaned. “Hmm?” He tried opening his eyes, but it was almost worthless.

“Get up,” Griffon said as she shook him again, “The kids are arguing!” 

“Oh, what?” Geoff asked, but Griffon was already on her way out of their bedroom. 

“Boys, what's going on?” Griffon asked as she saw the two boys glaring at each other in the hallway.

“Nothing!” Michael spat.

Geoff ran out into the hallway, still trying to wake himself up, but he at least managed to get out of bed. “What happened?” He asked, looking at Michael and Gavin with half hooded eyes.

“Michael had another nightmare,” Gavin told Geoff, despite Michael's protest.

“Gavin, god damnit,” Michael muttered under his breath.

“Wait, _another_?” Griffon's concerned look grew more intense as she crossed her arms and stared at Michael.

Michael shook his head, but the way everyone was staring at him, he felt like he couldn't even lie his way out of this. He knew they were waiting, specifically Geoff and Griffon, for an answer.

“I've been having them ever since,” Michael averted his eyes before he continued, “since I left my house.” He sighed deeply and let himself slide down against the wall until he was sitting on the ground, “They won't go away. I just... I keep having them. I don't know how to make them stop.”

Griffon looked at her husband and Geoff frowned.

“Why didn't you talk to us about it?” He asked Michael.

Michael crinkled up his nose as he looked at Geoff. “Because it doesn't matter,” he said, “None of this matters! Okay? Because on Sunday, I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave and-” He stopped himself from talking when he saw the defeated expression on Griffon's face. He went ahead to see everyone else's expressions; Ray looked offended, Lindsay seemed disappointed, and Gavin... well Michael really couldn't tell what Gavin was thinking.

Geoff just looked tired, so tired.

“I'm gonna leave,” Michael said under his breath as he curled his legs up closer to his chest.

Geoff walked over and bent down until he was eye-level with Michael. “Are you?” He asked. “Are you gonna leave? Do you _want_ to leave?”

Michael forced himself to face Geoff. Did he? At first, he did. He really did. He didn't like being there, and he still wasn't sure if he did, but the past days, eating some of the most delicious food and being comforted after waking up from the nightmares of his past felt so good. Genuinely good. He didn't want any of that to end. He wasn't sure what he would do without seeing these faces everyday and how much they tried to be there for him.

“Can I stay?” Michael asked Geoff.

Griffon's eyes brightened as she heard that question. Gavin furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at Michael. Ray and Lindsay smiled at each other before turning their attention back to Michael and Geoff.

Slowly, the corners of Geoff's lips rose and he nodded.

“I was afraid you would never ask,” and Geoff opened his arms wide, gesturing for Michael to come in for a hug, but Michael didn't.

Michael merely curled up to himself more and broke eye contact. Geoff raised an eyebrow and looked over at his shoulder at everyone else.

“Baby steps,” Lindsay mouthed to him, and Geoff smiled slightly.

“Okay,” Geoff said as he patted Michael's knee and stood up. “Do you think you could get yourself to sleep?”

Michael bit down on his lower lip and shrugged. “Yeah, maybe,” he said, though he made no move to get up from his spot, not until Gavin walked over to him and offered him a hand.

Michael glared at Gavin for only a moment, almost giving Gavin the urge to make a sarcastic comment, but then Michael grabbed his hand and allowed the Brit to help him stand up.

“Okay, kids,” Geoff said as he looked over at all of them, “Back to bed. You have school tomorrow and Griff and I have work.”

“Okay,” Ray and Lindsay mumbled.

Lindsay walked back into her bedroom, but she stopped to look Michael, giving him a half smile before closing her door. Gavin placed a hand on Michael's shoulder, but Michael shrugged it off, making the blond sigh quietly.

“Goodnight, Michael,” Gavin said, and Michael watched as he entered his room.

Ray waited for Michael and the two of them headed back to their bedroom. Michael was supposed to sleep. How was he supposed to sleep after this?

His plan was to leave this house, but now he just admitted to how much he really wanted to be there. He hadn't meant to get so comfortable there in such little time, but it just... happened. And now he only hoped he wouldn't even up letting Geoff or Griffon down, or become some big of a bother.

“Have a good sleep, Michael,” Ray said just as he yawned.

“Yeah, night,” Michael whispered back as he got under the sheets of his bed.

Ray turned off the lamp and rolled over to find the right spot while Michael just lied there, staring at the calendar Ray had next to his bed on the wall.

 


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty easy going, so no trigger warnings, because there's just like one mention of child abuse and it isn't too bad. Anyway, feel free to ask me any questions you may have about this fic on here or on tumblr (mogarsjones).

Ray shivered as the slight breeze brushed against his skin. He zipped up his jacket to the highest it could go and stuffed his hands in its pockets. He looked over at Gavin and Lindsay to see them smiling at him.

“What?” He asked. “It's cold.” Then he shivered again. “Really cold.”

Michael was standing on his right as they all waited for the bus to arrive. Usually Geoff drove them to school, but Geoff was sick with the flu that he had been staying home from work, so the kids were asked to ride the bus in the morning, just until Geoff got better.

It had been two months since Michael decided to stay with the Ramseys and the most obvious thing to say was that it had been the best months of his life, but that wouldn't be all true. Of course Geoff and Griffon continued to be the ideal parents, and Lindsay, Ray, and Gavin were kind and patient with him (especially after that night), but Michael still felt empty, and he didn't know why. He would talk to them more often, maybe about something that he noticed at school, or a funny story one of them wanted to share, but that was about it; there was nothing _too_ special there.

The one thing that had happened in those two months that Michael was proud of was how he was warming up more to Kerry. Kerry was practically an open book, having no problems with telling Michael anything, and Michael liked that, how someone could confide in him in such a way. Michael refused to get extremely personal with Kerry, though, and Kerry didn't even seem to mind, much to Michael's relief.

If Michael talked about anything personal, it would be with something that happened with the others and the Ramseys. He wouldn't dare touch the subject of his birth parents, and again, he was grateful that Kerry didn't ask any questions. That was probably the main reason Michael didn't mind having an actual friendship with him.

As for the nightmares, well, they had settled – another good thing that had happened to him. It took some talking, though – to Geoff, specifically. When Geoff sat him down the next day after that night, his first words were, “You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but a good way to get rid of nightmares is to talk about what scares you the most, that way you can understand the nightmares better.” Michael wanted to roll his eyes and walk away, but he knew Geoff was doing this out of the goodness of his heart, so he tried not feeling annoyed and sighed.

“My... parents,” Michael quietly answered, and Geoff's eyes brightened, surprised he got any answer at all. They talked for about an hour before Michael was tired of trying to find the right ways to explain certain things.

Even though Michael didn't say much some days during their little talks, he could feel it helping him – slowly, but surely. He began to find it more relaxing to crawl into bed and go to sleep, and if any nightmare occurred, it wouldn't be as bad, a mere bad dream.

Now, if he got any nightmare, it wouldn't be everyday. They definitely would still happen, but not as frequently. At this point, it was a little random if he suffered with one.

When the bus came into view, Ray jumped for joy – he literally jumped and cheered. Michael snickered a little and shook his head. A few other kids had joined them at the bus stop, and they all started crowding in to get onto the bus. Michael stayed behind, letting them deal with the chaos, and once it was over, he hopped inside.

“Good morning, Michael,” the bus driver chimed, smiling brightly at Michael.

Michael slightly offered her a smile in return as he said, “Hi.” He looked towards the seats and saw that the back was already filled, along with most of the middle; in fact, the only seats available were the first rows. Michael shrugged and sat down, putting his backpack down next to him on the seat.

“What brings you four on the bus this morning?” The bus driver – her name was Ms. Susie? – asked him. “I usually only expect you guys in the afternoon.”

“Geoff's sick, so he couldn't drive us,” Michael answered, “and Griffon had to leave early, so...” It then occurred to him that Ms. Susie didn't know exactly know who Geoff and Griffon, but by the look on her face, she seemed to mentally put it together.

“I hope Geoff gets better soon,” she told Michael.

“He will,” Michael assured her, “He was worse during the weekend.” Ms. Susie laughed, but Michael didn't get why that was funny.

The rest of the bus ride was quiet, well, in the sense that he didn't talk. The actual bus wasn't quiet due to everyone chatting it up with their friends, their voices sounding like pure noise and static to Michael's ear, because he wasn't even bothering with to try and figure out what any of them were saying.

As Ms. Susie parked the bus in front of school, Michael was the first to get up and step off the bus, giving the bus driver another smile before walking off. Kdin and Miles were standing outside as they waited for Ray, Gavin, and Lindsay. Kdin stiffened a bit when he noticed Michael walking towards them and he braced himself for an insult, although when it didn't come, he sighed in relief.

“Michael's mean,” Miles spoke, “but he's not _that_ mean, so relax.” He patted Kdin's shoulder.

“He's not mean at all,” Lindsay defended him when she walked up to the two boys. Miles and Kdin smiled apologetically at her. As soon as Gavin and Ray caught up with them, the five of them walked together into the school building.

The first thing Michael usually did when he got to school was look for Kerry without making it obvious that he was looking for him. It didn't take him long to figure the three possible places Kerry would be in during the morning; Michael usually checked the closest part first – the library. If Kerry wasn't in there, then he had to be in the cafeteria or by his locker. This particular morning, Kerry was by his locker, looking over some papers.

Michael smiled as he walked up to him. “What's that?” He asked him. Kerry looked up at him and grinned.

“Homework,” he answered, “Just making sure I got everything done. Did you finish that worksheet Mrs. Thompson gave us?” Michael nodded.

“Yep, finished it the second I got home,” Michael told him.

“Really?” Kerry asked, receiving another nod from the taller boy, “Huh. I literally have to motivate myself to get started, then I have motivate myself to actually do it, and then finish.”

Michael rolled his eyes, but he smirked at Kerry.

“Hey foster kid,” a familiar, yet unwanted, voice caught both of their attention, and they turned around to see the bully Michael had that fight with on his first day of school. The guy was with his group of friends, because the more idiots, the merrier.

“His name is Michael,” Kerry said to the leader as he crossed his arms.

Michael smiled at Kerry, but he let that smile fade as he turned to glare at the leader.

“What the fuck do you want?” Michael asked. The group laughed and exchanged looks with each other, except the main guy, who continued to stare at Michael like he was trying to figure something out about him.

“Listen,” he spoke, taking a step closer to Kerry and Michael, “I want to... well...” he looked over his shoulder at his friends, and Michael saw how they nodded before the leader faced Michael again, “We want to show you something.” Michael squinted his eyes and Kerry's eyebrows rose.

“It's not a bad thing,” the leader went on to say, “It's just, it's _something_ we think you'd really enjoy. Think of it as our way of apologizing for being assholes to you.”

“Because we've noticed you're not so bad,” one of his friends said. 

“Exactly,” the leader agreed with a nod.

Kerry gave Michael a worried expression to which Michael ignored as he continued to give this group a curious look over. 

“Yeah, I don't think so,” Michael said to them. He turned to Kerry and gestured towards the hall, “Let's go.” Kerry sighed in relief and started taking a few steps away.

“You think about it, Jones,” the leader said, “Just think about it.”

“No,” Michael simply said as he followed Kerry. They walked down the hallway, neither of them speaking, until they got to the end. 

“Just forget about that,” Kerry told Michael, “They're just being dumb.”

“Yeah, I know,” Michael assured him, “I'm a little curious as to what the hell they had in mind, but I know it was probably dumb.” Kerry smiled at him and they parted ways as the bell rang for their first class to start.

 

* * *

 

“So, can anyone tell me when exactly it happened?”

Lindsay tapped her fingers on the desk as she stared down at the notes she had been taking during her history class. She had stopped paying attention after she filled up her paper, front and back, with messy notes. She wasn't even sure what her teacher was asking. Normally she did try concentrating, but with history, sometimes she couldn't. There were days where they went over events that truly fascinated her, and then there were the days where they went over the same thing for what felt like too long.

“Did you run out of paper or did you just give up on taking notes?” Kdin, who sat next to her, asked. Lindsay looked a him and smiled slightly.

“A little bit of both,” she said, “I am running out of paper and I think I should save the last two pieces for math and English.” She sighed deeply and added, “And definitely, yes, I've given up for the last ten minutes of class.”

“You're not missing much anyway,” Kdin whispered, since he noticed their teacher had glanced their way.

Lindsay picked up her pencil again and started to doodle something on the side of the paper.

“Ah, drawing little flowers and hearts,” Kdin announced like he was some host on a game show while still keeping his voice quiet enough for only Lindsay to hear, “The signs of a growing artist.” Lindsay covered her mouth with the back of her hand to stifle a laugh.

“I can't even be offended or annoyed by you,” she told him, “You keep this class entertaining.” Kdin lifted his hands and smiled proudly.

“It's what I do.”

“Hmm, I'm sure.”

“Well, now that we only have a few minutes left in here,” their teacher said, making them both look at him, “I'll tell you all the homework assignment, which actually won't be due until Friday, and then I'll let you guys talk until the bell rings.” Practically the whole class silently cheered.

Lindsay erased some of her small doodles to make room to write the assignment down. Her teacher, Mr. Fletcher, had a tendency of speaking a bit too fast sometimes, and Lindsay blinked in confusion as he explained the homework. She turned to Kdin for help and Kdin turned his paper so she could see.

“Yeah, I barely caught what he said,” Kdin told her, “but luckily, I did catch the important parts.”

“All I heard was 'And then you'll do this, this, this, that, and this, oh, and that',” Lindsay said, doing her best Mr. Fletcher impersonation by talking as fast as she could, though Kdin laughed, because he could tell how much difficulty she had from attempting it.

“It's basically what he said!” He told Lindsay as he caught his breath from laughing, and Lindsay merely smiled. Kdin let a loud sigh and started to put his things away.

“Why the obnoxiously loud sigh?” Lindsay asked him.

“Because we still have over five hours of school time,” he whined.

“Ah, but we have a little less than two hours until lunch time.” The bell rang and Lindsay perked up more, “Oh look! Now we're even closer.” Kdin shook his head and they both got up from their seats before slowly making their detour out of the classroom from being stuck behind their classmates; one of the the downsides to having to sit in the back.

Once they were outside, they were met with Gavin since the Brit's class was only across from theirs.

“How was history?” Gavin asked them. Kdin furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Hmm, I'm not sure,” he responded as he made eye contact with Gavin again. “It's weird how I just walked out of there and was actually taking notes the whole time, but I already can't remember what we went over. This is why I'm almost failing.”

“Ah, don't feel bad, mate,” Gavin said as he patted Kdin's back, “I'm not doing too well in my history class, either.” The three of them started walking to get to their next class, one they shared together.

“What's the real reason we're all sucking at history?” Lindsay asked them. “I feel that we could do better, but we're just too lazy.”

“Definitely that,” Kdin told her, “I'm lazy.”

“I just bloody don't care,” Gavin admitted.

“You should care, Gavin,” Lindsay said, “for the sake of your grade. I say we find someone who's great at history and ask them to help us.”

“Or we can ask for extra credit,” Kdin suggested.

“I can't,” Gavin said, “My teacher doesn't believe in extra credit.”

“What? You have to _believe_ in it?”

“Apparently.”

“Actually, I think I know the perfect person we could ask,” Lindsay spoke up, and both boys stared at her with hopeful eyes, “Michael,” she told them, and they both frowned. 

“What?” Lindsay asked them, though she waved them off from answering as she went on to say, “The other day when I was talking to Mr. Fletcher about my last test's score, I noticed Michael's test in the pile. I didn't even know he had Mr. Fletcher as a history teacher, but he does, for fourth period, and well, I happened to see that he pretty much got a perfect score.”

“Pretty much?” Kdin asked, tilting his head slightly as he looked at Lindsay. “Well, did he or didn't he?”

“He did.”

“A perfect score from the one who hates school more than us?” Gavin asked her. 

“To be honest, Gavin,” Lindsay spoke, “I don't think Michael hates school for the learning part. I think he hates it from having to deal with the people everywhere.”

“Okay, then you'll ask him and he'll help us! Problem solved.”

“Except that I'm not going to be the one to ask him. _You_ are.” Gavin's eyes widened in what looked to be fear to which Kdin had to bit down on his lower lip to prevent himself from laughing.

“Me?” Gavin asked Lindsay. “Why me?” He even had that whiny little tone in his voice of a four year old.

“That, right there, Gavin, your response, is exactly why I'm making you ask him.”

“That's cruel,” Kdin told the redhead. Lindsay rose her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

“Or, do _you_ want to do the honors, Kdin?” She questioned.

“No,” Kdin instantly replied.

“Oh, I'll ask him,” Gavin said, sounding defeated and annoyed.

“And you'll do it with a smile,” Lindsay told him, “because he's Michael and I know you've warmed up to him in these past two months, so stop acting like you still can't stand him.” She raised her hand and gently pinched Gavin's cheek. Gavin pulled away and shook his head. Maybe a part of that was true, but he didn't want to tell her that she was right.

Lindsay giggled and the three of them stopped talking about it as they walked into their classroom.

 

* * *

 

Michael walked alone to the buses after school, since Kerry had been picked up from school by his parents a bit early. Michael could see the crowd of usual bus riders standing around the sidewalk, awaiting the buses arrivals. Michael joined them, mainly standing behind them and out of sight, and he hugged himself because it felt as though the weather had dropped even more since the morning.

It felt a bit weird not having Kerry there to talk to him; that was something he had grown a little used to, but he shrugged. There was no use of being upset over little things like that.

His bus arrived and unlike in the morning, he didn't wait for everyone else to get in first. He pushed through the crowd and made it on after a few others did. If he couldn't sit with Kerry, then he was going to try to grab a seat for himself, and that's what he did. Everyone else walked passed him, ignoring him as they sat with their friends or in other empty seats.

Ray was sitting with Kdin as usual, and Gavin with Lindsay, and they all talked to each other, laughing at something Ray was doing. Michael sighed, because riding the bus was boring enough, but having to sit alone was even worse.

 _Oh well_ , Michael thought before turning his attention towards the window. Before the bus began to move, he felt someone sit down next to him _Crap_. He looked back, expecting to see some complete stranger, but he was met with Gavin, smiling brightly at him. 

“Oh, hey Gavin,” Michael blandly said.

“Hi, Michael,” Gavin greeted, sounding a bit too cheerful. “How are you?”

“I'm fine.”

“Where's Kerry?”

“Uh, his parents picked him up. He has a dentist appointment,” Michael answered, and then he looked down at his hands.

“Ah,” Gavin said with a nod. Seeing as though this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere, he scooted closer to Michael and playfully nudged him.

Michael looked at him again and sternly said, “Stop it.”

Gavin frowned. “Sorry,” he mumbled, but when Michael turned his attention to the window, Gavin went on to say, “You know, I never told you how happy I am that you stayed with us-”

“Gavin,” Michael cut him off, facing him once again, “Can you... not talk?” He asked. Gavin blinked, but he wasn't going to be offended by that.

“No, Michael,” he said, “We have been living together for a while now and I feel like I barely know you.”

Michael huffed, but fine, he would play nice. “You already know the most personal thing about me,” he said, but it was evident that Gavin wasn't sure what Michael meant from the way he raised an eyebrow. Michael threw his hands up and explained further, “You know, the whole thing about how I grew up being treated more like an abused pet than a child?” Gavin pouted a bit, but Michael didn't stop talking, “That's something pretty big to know about me. What else would you want or need to know?”

Gavin pursed his lips as he thought about a question he could ask, and then he smiled when it came to him.

“Uh, well, what's your favorite color?” He asked.

Michael's eye twitched a bit as he glared at Gavin. “Shut the fuck up,” he said before turning away and staring out the window again.

_Well, so much for asking you the real question I wanted to ask,_ Gavin thought to himself, sighing in defeat. 

The bus ride became intensely quiet and awkward, and Gavin wished he would have chosen a different time and place to talk to Michael. He hadn't meant to bother or upset Michael in any way, but it appeared to be that he did a little bit of both. 

Michael kept a scowl on his face for practically the whole ride, that is, until he started to go over the conversation he and Gavin just had. The corners of his lips started to twitch up the more he thought about it, and then he couldn't resist and just allowed his smile to show. 

Gavin looked over at him at that moment and noticed it. 

“You should smile more often,” he said to Michael, “It looks nice.” Michael felt his heart jump a bit, feeling startled by Gavin suddenly speaking again.

“What?” He asked bitterly as he turned to meet Gavin's eye, his smile gone completely.

“I said, you should smile more often. It looks nice on you,” Gavin said as he smirked at him.

The bus stopped and it was their stop, so the blond got up from the seat and started heading out, followed by Lindsay, Ray, and few others, but Michael remained seated for a bit as he felt his cheeks warm up. Ms. Susie saw that he was still on the bus and waited until Michael finally shook his head and quickly jumped up.

“Have a nice night,” Ms. Susie said to him as he got off the bus, but Michael was barely able mumble a goodbye to her.

 


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter pretty much just has underage drinking. Playlist can be found [here](http://8tracks.com/heytheregisela/as-we-are-playlist) and will have more songs added the more the fic progresses.

Michael could barely look Gavin in the eye after what occurred on the bus. At the dinner table, Michael sat across from him, but neither of them dared to make eye contact. The atmosphere wasn't too bad, though, since Ray had a lot to talk about, and Geoff (who was sitting on the couch as he ate his dinner so he wouldn't get anyone sick), also took up time by explaining about a million ideas he discussed with his coworkers.

After that, Michael went upstairs and didn't come back down until morning.

Now he was at school again, heading towards his locker to grab one of his textbooks, but when he opened the locker door, a folded up paper flew out and landed on his foot. Michael looked around to see if anyone was watching him, just so he could see if he could spot the person responsible for this mysterious note. Not seeing any suspects, Michael bent down and picked it up.

> _You know that place called Wild Basin? Meet us there at seven tonight._

Michael's eyebrows twitched together; he didn't have to guess who this was from anymore.

“Fucking idiots,” he mumbled to himself before crumbling it up and tossing it back into his locker. He heard someone walk up to him and immediately thought it was Kerry, but when he turned and saw Gavin, he groaned.

“Oh, nice to see you, too, Michael,” Gavin sarcastically said.

“You _just_ saw me,” Michael reminded him, “I _literally_ just walked away from you, Ray, and Lindsay as we got off the bus.” Gavin smiled.

“Oh, yeah!”

“What do you want?” Michael asked, narrowing his eyes at the blond.

Gavin scratched the back of his head. He failed at the opportunity yesterday on the bus, chickened out on doing so at home, so now here was his third chance. He couldn't mess up again or he wouldn't dare try anymore.

“A little bird informed me of something,” he started, making Michael raise an eyebrow, “Something that had to do with you... getting a... uh, perfect score... in a certain subject that I... happen to... struggle with.” Michael blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what the hell Gavin just said.

“What?” He asked bitterly. Gavin sighed. He couldn't walk around this; he had to be forward.

“I know you're good at history,” Gavin told him, “A subject that I, Lindsay, and Kdin are barely passing.” Michael's expression softened and he quickly looked away.

“So, what the fuck do you want from me?” He asked.

“We were wondering if you could...” Gavin sighed as he tried finding the right words, “If you could help us?”

Michael swallowed roughly and shook his head.

“I don't think so,” he said as he grabbed his textbook and slammed the locker door shut. He started to walk off, but the Brit followed.

“It wouldn't be for free,” Gavin told him, “We would, of course, pay you off somehow. We'd just really appreciate the help right now and we don't know anyone else who got a perfect score like you did on that last test.” He was picking up his pace to keep up with Michael, but it didn't bother him.

“You sure about that?” Michael asked him.

“Yes,” Gavin replied, “So, will you help us? We'll return the favor. Anything you ask!” Michael halted in his tracks and Gavin did as well before he ran right into Michael.

Michael turned around to face him again. “Even if I wanted to,” he spoke, “I wouldn't be able to.”

“If you're going to say that you aren't great at explaining, I'm sure we could work around that-”

“It has nothing to do with that.”

Gavin blinked. “Then what is it?” He asked.

“Damnit,” Michael said under his breath as he looked down. Gavin watched as the expressions on his face changed from conflicted to looking like he gave up, and that's also when his eyes met Gavin's again. “Because... because I... fuck, okay. I cheated, alright?” Gavin's lips parted and he could have sworn he saw the look of shame on Michael's face for a few seconds before it was gone just as fast as it appeared.

“What?” The Brit asked finally.

“I've never been the best at school,” Michael admitted, “I don't even know how I got passed so many grades. I think my teachers felt sorry for me or something, because I'm fucking stupid.”

“No you're not-”

“Shut up.” And Gavin obliged, so Michael continued, “Look, it's one of the reasons I've always _hated_ school. Some of the subjects just confuse the hell out of me. History isn't confusing, but god damn, there's so much shit to remember. I just can't remember all of it. I'm lucky if I get a C. So, for once, I just wanted to see at least _one_ damn A on my report card, and when I realized the smartest kid in class sat next to me, I couldn't resist,” Michael shrugged.

Gavin knew it was his time to talk, but he didn't know what to say. “I-I'm...” he tried.

“Surprised?” Michael suggested, but Gavin didn't answer anymore, “Yeah, well, sorry for getting your hopes up. I'm not a secretly smart kid. I'm just... a kid; a kid with _nothing_ special about him.” He rubbed his face with his hands and shook his head. “You know, my parents never even cared about my grades, which is probably why I was never motivated to try. They weren't the kind of abusers to beat me even more just because I came home with an F, because they didn't know _anything_ that went on with me at school, unless it had to do with me getting into trouble with another student. They literally saw school as just some place they could drop me off at so they wouldn't have to deal me for a while.” Gavin frowned, yet he still said nothing, which was fine, because Michael wasn't done yet.

“I just want to have good grades for once,” he said, “even if I didn't get them myself. I want to pretend like I did.”

“You're not stupid, Michael,” Gavin spoke up, “Not getting A's doesn't make you stupid.”

“But I _am_ stupid,” Michael almost shouted, “How many people do you know with no A's or B's on their report card? Huh? Tell me.” Gavin bit down on his lower lip and Michael breathed out a laugh. “Yeah, that's right,” he said, “Only one. _Me.”_

“I can't blame you,” Gavin told him, “Math is bullshit, English throws all sorts of stuff at us, History does give you too much to memorize, and science... well, science-”

Michael cut him off to say, “Science is the _one_ class I can sort of get by.” To which Gavin's eyes lit up.

“Really?” He questioned. Michael nodded. “I love science. It's the only class I have little to no trouble with, either.”

“ _Really_?” Michael asked, but Gavin sighed as he heard and saw the fake excitement coming from Michael, “Holy shit. Isn't _that_ dandy?” And with a roll of his eyes, Michael turned away.

Gavin didn't run after him this time, because he felt terrible. He merely watched Michael disappear into the crowd of people before he turned around to meet back up with his friends.

 

* * *

Before heading off to lunch, Michael encountered the note again when he went to his locker. The group was still nowhere in sight, but he could imagine them laughing at him. Michael actually did want to go meet up with them, but not for the reasons they intended him to want to go for. He wanted to go to let them to leave him alone, and if he had to, he make sure they _understood_ to do so.

And it was while Kerry was talking to him as they ate that he decided that was his final decision. He needed them to know this so they wouldn't waste their time trying to fool Michael. He wouldn't let them do that. Maybe he wasn't so smart with school, but he knew he could try being smart with this.

On the way home, he was particularly quiet. Kerry wanted to ask what him why, but seeing as though Michael looked in no position to speak, he decided against it and remained quiet as well. It wasn't too bad, though, considering they had days where they would barely talk to each other, and yet, it did nothing to harm their friendship. It just happened to work that way sometimes.

When Michael's bus stop came, they both made eye contact and smiled at each other.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Kerry,” Michael said as he got up from the seat.

“Yeah, see you,” Kerry waved. Gavin looked at him and also smiled, which did catch Kerry off guard, but he returned the smile.

Michael did his homework and finished by dinner time. Geoff talked about having to go over to Burnie's ( _the_ Burnie Burns, and that thought alone kind of did excite Michael), and finish up a few things before tomorrow. Griffon said that was fine and she was just going to be watching TV with the kids. Lindsay, Gavin, and Ray agreed, but Michael stayed quiet as he continued to eat the most delicious soup he had ever tasted.

As Geoff left and Ray began to clean up with Lindsay, Michael tried thinking up an excuse to leave. Gavin noticed the uneasiness Michael seemed to have and couldn't help but ask.

“Are you alright?” Michael looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

“You just looked like something was really bothering you,” Gavin told him.

“Nothing's bothering me,” Michael said, a little too angrily, but he blinked and his expression changed when he saw Gavin flinch a bit. “Nothing's bothering me,” he repeated, his tone more gentle now. Gavin nodded and walked out of the kitchen.

Michael sighed and looked over at Lindsay who was putting away the leftover soup.

“Lindsay,” he spoke, and the girl smiled at him, “Um, I have to go to Kerry's. I think he accidentally took my English homework home with him. Can you... can you let Griffon know that?” Lindsay wanted to ask why Michael couldn't tell Griffon himself, but instead, she just nodded and told him she would.

With a slight smile, Michael turned on his heel and headed out.

“Hopefully he doesn't take too long,” Lindsay said to Ray, “It's already dark.”

“Yeah, stupid shorter days,” Ray complained as he focused on washing the dishes.

Michael stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He looked back at the house and hesitated before he started walking away. It was getting colder everyday and Michael found his teeth chattering the more he walked. His face was feeling a bit numb as well, especially his nose.

It was a long walk to where he was told to meet the group, but he didn't mind the distance. It could have been worse, but when he got there and saw just how empty the area looked, he froze. Maybe this wasn't a good idea or good place to be at night. He was about to turn around and leave when a flash of light caught his attention, followed by the sound of people talking. Michael sighed, a shaky breath, and walked towards the sounds.

“I guess we'll have to wait and find-” the leader was saying, but he stopped when Michael pushed his way through branches and came into their view. “Look who made it!”

“Yay!” the other guys cheered. Michael knit his eyebrows together as he stared at them.

“Finally gave in, didn't ya?” The leader asked.

“No,” Michael answered him, “I didn't give in. I'm not here to hang out and be friends; I'm here to tell you fuckers to leave me the fuck alone.”

“Oooh, tough one,” another guy said as he lifted a bottle to his lips, and that's when Michael noticed the other bottles lying around on the ground.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, although, it wasn't so impossible to believe that people were drinking at the age of fifteen and younger (unfortunately). Michael just never really saw it in person, so now that he was standing there, surrounded by a bunch of thirteen year olds drinking, he felt completely uncomfortable.

The leader noticed and picked up an unopened bottle from the cooler next to him. “Have a drink,” he said as he held it up. Michael rolled his eyes and looked away.

“Come on, Jones,” the leader urged on, “Your life has been crappy enough. Don't you want a bit of peace?”

“Leave me alone,” Michael mumbled as he turned to leave, but one of guys grabbed his arm and held him back. Michael wanted to fight him, but then another grabbed his other arm to lower his chances in doing so.

“Just one drink,” the leader told him, “if you don't like it, fine, but if you do, then you're welcomed to stay and hang with us.”

“I don't even know your name,” Michael said to him, then he looked around at everyone, “I don't know any of you idiots.”

“Well, I'm Drew,” the leader introduced himself as he smirked.

“I'm James,” another said.

“I'm Tim,” one of the guys holding Michael told him, then Michael glared at other guy holding onto him.

The guy smiled and said, “And I'm Kyle.” though Michael squinted his eyes at him.

“Let go of me,” Michael hissed, and Kyle did so, even holding his hands up to shield himself when Michael tensed up and glared at him.

Kyle offered him a smile and took a step back, obviously intimidated, and Michael couldn't help but smile back, but not because he wanted to be friendly.

“Here, Kyle,” Drew said as he stretched his arm more, still holding the unopened beer bottle. Kyle turned around and took it from his friend. “Hand that to Jones, would you?” Kyle nodded and turned back to face the auburn haired boy.

Michael merely stared at the bottle in Kyle's hands and Kyle patiently stood there as he waited for Michael to refuse or accept it.

“It'll help,” James spoke up, getting both Michael and Kyle to look at him, “It'll also warm you up, since I can see you shaking from how cold you are.” Michael swallowed hard and shook his head.

“You don't have to,” Kyle whispered to him so no one else could hear him. Michael didn't face him, though. “It's all up to you.” Of course it was. Michael wouldn't let them feel like he didn't have a choice. He did have a choice, and he knew exactly what that choice was.

He clenched his teeth, but as he looked from the bottle and Kyle, he huffed before taking it from him. This only made the group cheer in satisfaction. Michael ignored them. He didn't see this as giving into peer pressure; it wasn't peer pressure, not to him. It was just him giving into what he had been wanting to try for a long while, ever since he began to have those nightmares. He heard stories of how alcohol helped sometimes with forgetting certain things, even if it was only for a little while. But it was a little while of fun that Michael wanted to feel.

He was just using this opportunity as an excuse to finally do what he wanted to do without having to do it himself.

And with no hesitation, Michael took a sip of the beer, cringing as soon as it hit his taste buds. That wasn't at all how he expected it to taste, but then again, he also didn't expect it to taste good. He saw how the guys were watching him, so he took another sip, and it wasn't any better. He even choked a little as he tried swallowing it.

“So?” Drew asked, leaning closer.

Michael licked his lips. He wanted this, he really did, and he hated to admit that. He knew this was stupid, but he _did_ want it.

Now if the guys had been smoking, he would have left without a second thought, but this... this he could handle, at least a little of it.

So he took a deep breath and nodded. “I think I'll be staying for an hour or so,” he told them.

The group cheered again and Michael felt the corners of his lips lift up, though he struggled with getting the beer down his throat every time he put more into his mouth. The guys began to talk on and on about stuff Michael had no clue about, but apparently it was all funny, because most of them couldn't stop laughing.

Michael didn't even try to get into any of those conversations. He didn't want to get closer to any of them. He wanted to keep his distance – feeling pretty content standing aside while they sat around together – but he did end up finding himself sitting next to Kyle after a while, because Kyle seemed to be the only one who didn't seem like a complete asshole. He was also the one to stop Michael from finishing his third beer bottle, and Michael didn't protest, since he knew it wouldn't be fun walking into the Ramsey house while wasted out of his mind. He wasn't drunk, but he did feel the effects of the alcohol in his system, and he decided it was best to stop there before it got out of hand. This was his first time ever trying any sort of alcohol, so he understood it wasn't ideal to go overboard with it.

“You should go now,” Kyle told him while the other guys were distracted with some game Tim ended up coming up with. Michael was watching the guys play, but then he turned his head to look at Kyle.

Without saying a word, Michael got to his feet and headed off. He didn't look back to see if the other guys noticed him leave, because really, he didn't care. He was beginning to feel a bit tired anyway.

The house looked empty when he approached it, but he found the front door unlocked and he walked inside. The TV in the living room was still on; he could see Griffon asleep on the couch, so he made sure to be quiet as he locked the door and started going up the stairs.

The more steps he took, the more he realized he was a bit out of it, but he could manage with no problem. He kept his head down, though, because it was dark in that area, and he didn't want to trip over anything. He certainly didn't trip over anything, but he did run right into someone the moment he reached the top step. Looking up, he saw Gavin standing there, stunned for a second until he smiled.

“Oh, hey, Michael,” Gavin cheerfully greeted him, and Michael grinned at him.

“Hi, Gav,” he said back, almost equally as cheerful.

Gavin's smile widened. This was a first, seeing Michael so happy to see him, but he wasn't about to complain.

They both stood there, smiling at each other, and then Michael's eyes trailed up and down, slowly, and Gavin suddenly felt self-conscious. It was too dark for Gavin to make up what expression Michael had on his face, but he did see that Michael's smile was still there when he locked eyes with him again.

The Brit opened his mouth to say something, but Michael just walked off before he could. Gavin heard the bedroom door open and close, and he blinked. That had to be one of the strangest encounters he'd ever had with Michael, but he shrugged, not wanting to over think it.

Ray was sitting on his bed, reading some sort of book, but he looked up when Michael walked in.

“Oh, you're back,” he said. “Did you get your homework back from Kerry?” Michael furrowed his eyebrows until he remembered.

“Oh, uh, no. I actually ended up leaving it at school, but it's fine! It's not due anytime soon, so it's fine!” Ray's eyes widened at Michael's loud tone.

“You don't need to shout to talk, you know?”

“I'm not shouting!” Michael told him.

“Right, and _I'm_ not reading right now.”

Michael scoffed and said, “Yeah, you're not.” Ray frowned, but he nodded.

“Yeah, you're right,” he said, putting the book aside, “I was just trying to get myself to read, but that book is boring.”

“Hmm, yeah, that's great,” Michael mumbled, and Ray watched as Michael let himself fall forwards onto his bed.

“Tired?” He asked. Michael mumbled something else, but Ray could not comprehend any word. “Well, I guess, I'll take that as a 'yes'...” Ray said as he got up from his bed, “I'm going to go brush my teeth. Uh, good night, Michael.” He didn't receive any response from the older boy, but he didn't expect to get one in the first place, so quietly, he left the room.

 


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mainly underage drinking, mentions of death, and some blood. There is also a hint of bullying.

“Jones!”

Michael and Kerry spun around to see who was cheering out Michael's name so loud. Who they saw had Kerry gaping and Michael smiling. It was _them_ , the group of bullies, or what Kerry assumed were bullies. 

“Hey, guys,” Michael casually greeted them as they walked passed. Michael looked over at Kerry and blinked to see his friend staring at him with an expression that read he was more than confused.

“What are you doing talking to them?” Kerry then asked.

“Huh?” Michael wasn't sure why Kerry couldn't understand, but then he remembered. “Oh! Well, I met up with them yesterday.”

“What?!” Kerry's voice practically squeaked as he asked that question. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at Michael, trying to find some sign that Michael was kidding. There were none.

“Yeah,” Michael nodded. “They're not so bad.”

“Are you forgetting how they treated you the first day you got here?” Michael sighed and shook his head.

“Kerry, I got over it,” he said to his friend, “They got over it. I think they like me now.”

“But bullies just don't become friends with the people they pick on.”

“It can happen.”

“How? It's never happened to me.”

“Well, that's you. Maybe I was lucky for once and something decent happened,” Michael turned away and started walking, leaving Kerry even more baffled.

“Wait, what?” Kerry asked as he started to catch up with him. “Why are you even happy about this?”

“I'm not _happy_ ,” Michael answered him, “I'm just relieved that this means I won't have to deal with their shit anymore.” Kerry sighed.

Okay, that did make sense, so he nodded and decided to drop the subject because he really didn't feel like arguing it with his only friend.

“Are we still gonna play some games after school today?” He asked instead.

Michael nodded, a small smile forming on his face. “Yeah, of course,” he replied, “Come over after dinner, so around seven.” Kerry smiled.

“Okay, and since it's Friday, I can probably convince my mom to let me stay passed nine.”

Michael did a small victory cheer and said, “Gives me more time to humiliate you in front of Lindsay, Ray, and Gavin.”

“That's not cool. You're a jerk,” Kerry playfully shoved him, and Michael laughed before wrapping an arm around Kerry's neck.

* * *

 

On the floor in the living room at the Ramsey's house lied Gavin, Ray, Kdin, and Miles. The four boys were indulged in a movie they found while going through the channels. Lindsay and Barbara were also there, but they had taken up the couch for themselves. The boys had been annoyed at first until they got comfortable on the carpet.

“Hey, isn't that the guy who plays the dad on that stupid vampire show?” Ray asked his friends as a man appeared on screen.

“Oh, man,” Miles said, “I love recognizing actors from stupid shows.”

“Guess he does have talent,” Kdin chimed in.

“He does,” Gavin agreed, “but the writer of his show clearly does not.” The others laughed.

Barbara and Lindsay exchanged a look and shook their heads.

“So, did I ever tell you about what happened last night with my mom?” Barbara asked her best friend. Lindsay shook her head and propped herself up more to prepare for a story.

“Okay,” Barbara began as she scooted closer to the redhead, “Last night, my brother and I were up trying to help each other with homework, because we were both stupid and waited until nine to even start it. My mom was exhausted from a long day at work, so my dad convinced her to go sleep. That woman dozed off the second she rested her head on her pillow.” Lindsay rose her eyebrows and smiled, amused by the thought of that. “My brother and I knew we had to be more quiet now, because we didn't want to wake her, and even though doors were closed, we still have a horrible habit of talking loud enough that she could hear us. So, we're quiet, extremely quiet, and then we _hear_ her talking to us-”

“Oh gosh,” Lindsay interjected.

“Yeah, and my brother and I just stared at each other, wondering if we actually heard our mom, _who_ we just saw passed out a few minutes earlier.”

“So, what? She woke up and heard you two?” Lindsay asked, but Barbara shook her head.

“Well, we thought so,” Barbara went on, “So we were like 'oh, crap. We're caught', but when we went to go check up on her, we saw her eyes still closed. She was still talking, though, and even answered when we asked 'Hey mom, did we wake you?' she said 'no'.” The boys turned to look at her, each with furrowed eyebrows.

“What is even the point of your story?” Kdin asked. Miles snorted and covered his mouth to hold back his laugh. Barbara turned to glare at them.

“I was getting there,” she told him, “But the point was, my brother and I had such a long conversation with our mom while she was still asleep! She doesn't remember _any_ of it! Isn't that crazy?”

“Oh, yeah,” Gavin sarcastically said with a nod, “It's mental.” Barbara grabbed one of the pillows on the couch and tossed it at him, getting him right on the head that Gavin yelped. The other boys laughed and Lindsay barely giggled. 

The boys went back to paying attention to their movie, and Barbara started to as well when she heard a sad sigh come from next to her. She looked to see Lindsay fiddling with her fingers and frowning. 

“What's up?” Barbara asked her.

“It's nothing,” Lindsay said, waving her friend off, but when it was evident how much she was struggling to smile, Barbara couldn't stop asking.

“Seriously, what's wrong?”

Lindsay looked at her best friend and wanted to say something to make the blonde forget about it, but judging from the stern expression on Barbara's face, that didn't seem like it was going to happen. 

With a deep breath, Lindsay spoke up, “Sometimes I forget how my mom's voice sounded.”

Barbara sat up and gave the redhead an apologetic look. “I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have even brought that up-”

“Barb, it's fine,” Lindsay stopped her. “I just... it's weird how it wasn't even _too_ long ago, but I don't think I remember the sound of her voice, or my dad's.”

The boys started to laugh loudly at something that occurred in the movie, making both Barbara and Lindsay jump. Barbara huffed and looked at her friend.

“Come on,” she said, “maybe we should go somewhere more quiet where there _isn't annoying boys around_ ,” she said those last words while looking directly at them.

The boys turned to pout at her, but Barbara and Lindsay were already halfway out of there. The girls headed upstairs and into Lindsay's room. Before Lindsay closed the door, she could still hear the boys laughing downstairs and she shook her head. 

“I always liked to avoid talking about it,” Lindsay said as she plopped down on her bed. Barbara walked over and gently sat down on the edge of it.

“You don't have to now,” the blonde told her.

“I want to now, though. I just feel like that's a part of me I need to get out. I don't want to hide from it. It was a tragic thing that happened to me, but I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of how okay I am now, how I was able to stay strong through it all. I feel so happy that Geoff and Griffon took me in. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. They've been such a great help, and I think that's why I haven't been completely broken up about it, because I had them to love me, to remind me that things would eventually get better, and they have.”

* * *

 

Lindsay was ten years old when she got the news. She had been talking with her friends at recess as they watched the older kids take over the playground, but they didn't mind. It was actually kind of funny to see.

“I'm having a sleepover this weekend,” one of her friends spoke, “and of course you're all invited!”

“Your parents finally let you have one?” Lindsay asked. Her friend nodded excitedly and clapped her hands together, ready to discuss the details she had in mind for the slumber party when a teacher walked over to them.

“How are you girls today?” The teacher, Mrs. Svendson, asked as she sat down at their table.

“Good,” the four girls answered, equally cheerful.

Mrs. Svendson smiled at them, but that smile faltered as her eyes roamed over to Lindsay. Lindsay shifted in her seat. Had she done something wrong? Why else would a teacher be talking to them and staring specifically at her?

“May I have a word with you, Miss Tuggey?” Lindsay watched as her friends turned to stare at her with wide eyes, wondering the same thing she was; what was going on?

Lindsay nodded, though, and slowly, she got up and followed Mrs. Svendson into the nearest classroom. She glanced back at her friends and then the door was closed. The last thing she saw was the fearful looks in their eyes. Lindsay knew she had done nothing wrong, but that still didn't help her not worry about what this whole ordeal was about.

“Lindsay, I don't know how to tell you this,” Mrs. Svendson began, and Lindsay swallowed hard.

“Am I in trouble?” She asked, realizing that she couldn't even look up at the woman.

“No,” the teacher replied, “You aren't, not at all.”

“Then why am I here?”

Mrs. Svendson closed her eyes and shook her head. The look on her face was painful to see and it only increased Lindsay's nerves.

“Please tell me why I'm here,” Lindsay begged, “I'm starting to get scared.” Mrs. Svendson bent down until she was at eye-level with the little redhead.

“There's been an accident,” the teacher began and that's how Lindsay's life flipped over completely.

There had been an accident, a case of someone not obeying the stop sign and driving faster as they tried speeding passed it. The person didn't bother to see, or care, that there was another car driving pass in the other direction, and in an instant, they crashed into each other. The innocent passengers were flung from their seats, but only the man (the husband) flew out onto the street while his wife only landed on the hood of the car. And the man lied there, lifeless in the pool of his own blood. He had been killed on the spot.

The woman, she was still breathing. She was coughing from the smoke that kept filling her lungs. She cried out, her voice hoarse and quiet, but she tried her best to get someone to hear her.

The other driver in the other car, the one who had been careless, was later pronounced dead at the scene.

There were loud sirens that reached the woman's ears and she coughed harshly again, cringing at how everything ached when she tried to move. One of the paramedics came rushing to her side. The woman could barely understand what he was trying to say to her, because she didn't care what he had to say, she just wanted him to know something.

“Lindsay,” she choked out.

“What was that, ma'am?” The paramedic asked.

“I-” cough, “I... my baby, Lindsay.” The woman's eyes filled with tears, but she couldn't even cry. She was took weak to feel or do anything, and so she lied there, letting the paramedic get her up, but she knew she wasn't going to make it.

She knew it was over. She wanted to fight, but there wasn't a way she could win.

“Keep your eyes open,” the paramedic told her, but the blinding light made it impossible for her to do so. “Ma'am, please. Don't close your eyes.” But it was too late. The woman's eyes shut slowly and she inhaled sharply one more time before everything was gone.

Lindsay had only been ten years old, nicknamed the girl with the brightest smile and best personality in class, but at ten years old, the two people who meant everything to her had been taken from her. And with them went her smile.

 

* * *

 

Barbara wrapped her arms around her best friend and Lindsay sighed as she returned the hug.

“I'm fine now,” she reassured Barbara. “It actually feels good that I finally talked about it.”

The doorbell rang and the girls pulled out of their hug. Griffon had gone out earlier to grab a few things she needed and Geoff was currently in the shower, and when the doorbell rang again, it was clear the boys weren't going to bother answering it.

“Come on,” Lindsay said as she got up from her bed, “Let's go see who it is.” Barbara nodded and quickly followed.

The boys were still on the floor, but they were no longer watching that movie; they were now indulged in a game of Mario Kart. Barbara laughed as she listened to Kdin scream at Ray about using blue shells on him.

“No!” Ray shouted back. “Why would I stop? I wanna win!”

“But you _always_ do this when _I'm_ in first! If it's Gavin or Miles, you don't mess with them!”

“That's not true! I just never happen to get any blue shells when they're up front!”

“That's why I avoid playing that game,” Barbara told Lindsay as they walked up to the front door.

Lindsay opened the door and smiled to see Kerry on the other side. “Hey Kerry!” She greeted.

“Hey Lindsay,” Kerry said as he returned the smile. He peeked into the house and his smile slowly fell when he didn't see Michael with the other boys, but then again, maybe Michael was just upstairs or something. “Uh, I'm here to hang out with Michael.”

Lindsay looked at Barbara, then back at Kerry.

“He went out,” she said, “Actually, I thought he would be with you, but I mean, apparently not.”

“Oh,” Kerry practically mouthed. He blinked a few times and then asked, Well, did he say where he was going to be?”

“I think I heard him mention something about the park,” Barbara told him.

Lindsay looked at her, wide eyed. “He did?” she asked.

Barbara nodded. “Yeah. It was mostly to himself, but I heard him. He said this time he was going to the park instead, which he preferred. I have no idea what he meant by that, but hey, he wasn't talking to me so I didn't want to ask.”

“Oh,” Lindsay said, and she turned back to Kerry, “Well, I guess you could find him there, but it's dark out. Do you want to come in instead? The more the merrier.” She smiled brightly.

Kerry shook his head. “No, I think I'll go look for him.”

“Are you sure?” Barbara asked.

“Yeah, it's fine. My cousin lives near the park, so if anything happens, which I doubt, I can always run to his place.”

Lindsay bit down on her lower lip and looked at Barbara again as if to ask “Should we let him go?” Barbara seemed to be hesitate as well, but they couldn't control Kerry's actions.

“Be careful,” she told Kerry.

“Yeah,” Lindsay added, “Come back if you need anything.”

“I will,” Kerry told them.

With that, Lindsay sighed and closed the door. Kerry remained standing there on the front porch step for a moment as he tried to decide if it really was a good idea to go out and search for Michael at this time of night. What if Michael was in trouble, though? He needed to be there for his best friend. So he glanced back at the house one more time and then headed off.

* * *

“We should probably hang around here more often,” Drew said to his friends as he held up his beer bottle.

“I mean, it is closer to home,” Kyle admitted.

“But it's more... public,” Tim told them.

“As long as we're careful, it doesn't fucking matter,” Michael informed them before taking a sip of his drink. “But I do agree with Kyle about it being closer to him. Less of a walk I have to take.” The guys laughed.

Kerry was shivering, but he sighed in relief when he saw the park come into view. His eyes began to scan the playground for any sign of the curly haired boy, but he didn't see Michael anywhere. Then he heard the voices and jumped back in fear. He squinted his eyes as he saw someone standing behind the slides and as he stepped closer, he realized it was Kyle – one of _them_. 

Kerry let out a disgusted noise but when he peeked over more and saw that the guy standing next to Kyle looked much too familiar, he gasped. 

_No._

“Michael?” Kerry asked as he approached the group, getting all of their attention except for Michael who was busy finishing off his current bottle.

“What's he doing here?” James asked.

Michael swallowed the gross liquid with all of his force before looking over and seeing Kerry. He rose his eyebrows and exclaimed , “Kerry! Hey! Come over here,” he nodded towards the group, but the group snarled at the sight of Kerry.

Because of that, Kerry couldn't help but feel intimidated by them; he didn't dare take a step forward. “Why are you here, Michael?” He asked.

“To have fun!” Michael answered, sounding like it was the most obvious answer, and he and the others laughed.

“But you're drinking,” Kerry pointed out, “And you're... you're only thirteen! Michael, that's not good. You should know that.”

Michael groaned and held up his empty bottle. “It's only my second one,” he told him, “So, relax. I don't actually let myself get pissed drunk.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said with a nod, “Michael just likes to blow off a little steam, let himself forget about the bullshit in life for bit. What's wrong with that?” Michael smiled at him, then he looked back at Kerry.

“Do Geoff and Griffon know?” Kerry asked.

Michael squinted his eyes at Kerry. “What the fuck, Kerry? Why would they know? Why would I even want to tell them?” The group laughed – loud, obnoxious laughter.

Kerry tried to ignore them as he kept his eyes on Michael and said, “I'm just...” he shrugged. “I'm surprised.”

“Why?” Michael asked.

“I just... I thought you were cool.” Michael blinked at how truly disappointed Kerry sounded, disappointed in him, and Michael didn't think he could ever feel so bad over letting someone down.

“Kerry-” he tried saying something, but he was interrupted by Drew.

“He _is_ cool,” Drew defended as he glared at Kerry, “ _You_ just aren't.” Again, the guys laughed, except for Michael who was finding it difficult to speak or even look at Kerry now. Kerry kept staring at him, though, waiting to see Michael give in and leave with him, but Michael seemed to be making no move in doing that.

Yet, Kerry wanted to stay and beg his friend to walk away from the guys, but the quieter Michael stayed, the more annoyed and _betrayed_ Kerry felt.

He shook his head as he said, “No, it's fine, Michael.” Michael managed to look at him again, his lips set in a straight line. “Go ahead,” Kerry went on, “Drink away your problems. It won't last long anyway.”

Michael closed his eyes and cursed under his breath as he listened to Kerry's footsteps get further and further away. He wanted to call out for him, but something was holding him back from doing so. What, exactly? He wasn't sure, but he knew he had messed up big time.

“Fuck him,” he heard Drew say, “He's boring.”

“Yeah,” the other guys agreed, but when Michael opened his eyes, he didn't face any of them. He just sat down on the grass and hugged himself, because of all the wrong things he could have and had done, letting Kerry walk away without going after him was the stupidest one of all.

 


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a time jump here, one that I've been excited to write, so hope you enjoy!!! It's also the chapter where I kind of experiment with other ships other than Mavin, but I'm not going to say whether or not those other ships are going to be an actual thing later on. You'll have to wait and read. :)

“Stop freaking out.”

“You got this.”

“You'll finally get a cell phone, too!”

“Yeah, just like we did.”

“We believe in you.”

“It shouldn't be too bad.”

“It won't be bad at all!”

Ray sighed and crossed his arms as he listened to Gavin and Lindsay go back and forth, saying anything that came to mind to calm his nerves down. So far, it wasn't doing much to help him. Admittedly, he was getting a bit annoyed it, because he knew they meant well, but it felt like too much. He did not even ask for a pep talk; he just came downstairs and sat down on the couch to watch some TV, but apparently that was code word for 'I'm freaking out!'

“I mean, what's the worst-”

“Yeah, okay,” Ray cut Gavin off, and he held up his hand for added measure, “I get it.”

Lindsay sat down next to Ray on the couch and smiled brightly at him. “I can't believe tomorrow's your first day of _high school_ ,” she said.

Gavin sat on the other side of Ray as he said, “Our little Ray is growing up so fast.” Michael was walking down the stairs when he heard Gavin say that. He didn't say anything to announce his presence, but he did start walking slower towards them so they couldn't hear his footsteps. He only wanted to keep listening to what they had to say to little Ray.

Lindsay pretended to sniffle. “I never thought this day would come.” Ray stared at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I still see you as the cute little eleven year old,” she continued. Ray's mouth started to slightly open from how bewildered he was at the two and how they were acting. They were exaggerating, he knew that, but he still couldn't believe it.

“Are you guys serious?” He asked, but instead of words for a response, Gavin and Lindsay attacked him with a hug. “Wow, okay,” he said, his tone bland, “You're not kidding.”

Lindsay and Gavin pulled away, but they continued to smile at him.

“Guys, I'm serious,” Ray told them, “I am pretty nervous. I know it's not a big deal. It's high school, yeah. Who cares.” He shrugged. “Still, I can't help it.”

“You'll be fine, Ray,” Michael finally spoke up, getting all three of them to jump in their seat and turn to face him. “It is _just_ high school. Any bad stories you've heard about it is a fucking lie as long as you be you and relax. _If_ , for some reason, someone has a problem with you, I'll deal with them. So, you're covered. Now take a deep breath and calm the fuck down.”

Gavin's eyebrows rose high as he looked over at Lindsay, but she seemed happy with what Michael said.

“Wow,” Ray spoke, a smile appearing on his face, “Thanks, Michael. That actually makes me feel better.”

“No problem,” Michael said.

“Well, I'm going to make sure I got everything I'll need,” Ray let them know as he got up from the couch. Michael moved out of the way to allow Ray room to head down the hall, and he thought about sitting down with Gavin and Lindsay, but he quickly decided against it and went outside instead.

“In the three years that we've lived with him, I've never heard him say something so nice before,” Lindsay said to the Brit.

Gavin smiled at her, and then he smiled at the door where Michael walked out.

“Lindsay, can you help me up here real quick?” Lindsay heard Griffon call.

“Oh,” she quickly stood up, “Yeah, I'll be right there.” And with her out of the room, Gavin chewed on his lower lip as he continued to stare at the door. He could sit there and debate to himself whether or not to go outside or he could simply _go_ outside.

He looked over his shoulder and saw no one in sight, so he got up from the couch and headed to the door.

Michael was sitting on one of the swings, ones that none of ever used anymore, but over the years, Gavin noticed how much Michael enjoyed merely walking out there to sit on one. He would sometimes sit there for hours. Doing what? Just thinking? Probably, and that amazed Gavin, but he never bothered to ask what those thoughts consisted of. It was Michael's business, but Gavin still wondered about it a lot more than he liked to admit.

“I feel I should thank you for saying that to Ray,” Gavin said as he stepped closer to Michael.

Michael shrugged a shoulder. “It's not a big deal, Gavin.” The blond went ahead and sat down in the empty swing, turning his body a bit so he could be facing Michael better.

To say Gavin and Michael had gotten closer over the years wouldn't be particularly true, but it wouldn't be wrong either. Michael was gone from the house a lot, though there were days where he wouldn't go out. For a while, that time he was there instead of with friends, he would spend time upstairs, listening to music or doing whatever homework he needed to finish, at least for the rest of seventh grade. During the summer before eighth grade, on the days that Michael chose to stay in, he would chose to hang around in the living room. It was a rare sight to see him there; he would usually sit in the sofa instead of on the couch with the other three, unless Geoff was there with him, then he had no choice but to sit on the couch because Geoff preferred the sofa.

But even though Michael was hanging around there more often, he kept his distance and didn't say much. Lindsay would try starting up a conversation with him, but it would always quickly falter after he continued to only give her one word answers and smiles. Ray would attempt it as well, yet he received the same... at least, that's how it was for that summer and most of the new school year.

Somewhere during their Winter break, Michael began to talk more to them; it wasn't anything big or special, but it was something. He would start giving Lindsay sentences for certain answers instead of practically nothing, he would laugh often at the jokes Ray would tell, and he would smile whenever Gavin said something that no one else seemed to answer to.

When Geoff asked if anyone wanted to help him cook, Lindsay usually would jump up and happily join, and then one day, Michael did, too. It left the other two boys in shock; even Geoff seemed speechless for a moment, but none of them questioned it. They just went with it, because Michael was gradually getting more comfortable, and that's what mattered. Michael would still be gone a lot, but when he was there, he was more involved.

During their first year in high school when the first dance in the fall came up, Lindsay talked about how much she wanted to go.

“I don't want to go to dress up or anything,” she told them, “but I don't want to look back on high school and regret not attending as many things as I could have.”

“Well, I think it's a good idea,” Griffon said. “You can go with your friends, or maybe even a date, but when I wanted to go to dances, I never had the whole 'getting a date' in mind. I just wanted to make sure I had fun no matter who was by my side.” Lindsay smiled at her and agreed.

And Lindsay had been asked, much to her surprise, because she had planned on going with Barbara and a few of their other friends, but a boy in her grade that she found rather cute came up to her one day at lunch and asked. She was going to say no, though, for the sake of her friends, but Barbara urged her on.

“Don't say 'no', because of us,” the blonde argued, “We'll still be there at the dance with you.” So Lindsay said 'yes'.

The night before the dance, when Lindsay had everything ready and she was a little too excited, she received a text message from the boy. Apparently plans came up and he could no longer attend the dance. Lindsay pretended like she wasn't upset. She went to the dance and did have fun with her friends, but when Monday came around and that boy and his friends pointed and laughed at her, she couldn't hold back anymore. She slammed her locker shut and stormed off towards the girls' restroom.

On her way there, Michael saw her and he noticed the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. He quickly went after her and gently grabbed her arm. She was going to pull away until she saw it was just Michael.

“Hey,” Michael spoke softly, “What's going on?”

Lindsay sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. “Nothing,” she mumbled, “Nothing at all. I'm just being dumb.”

“You're not dumb, Lindsay. You're the smartest person I know.”

“Stop it.”

“It's true, okay? So whatever the hell you're upset about, I know it's a reasonable reason to be upset.” Michael stopped talking for a second as his expression softened. “Hey, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I'll listen.”

Lindsay sighed and wrapped her arms around Michael, pressing the side of her head against his shoulder. Michael was taken aback, because a hug had been the last thing he expected, and he was quite awkward with them, but he lifted his hand and patted her back. Lindsay didn't tell him anything, though, but just knowing that he had been willing to listen and be there for her meant enough to her.

Gavin was walking by when he spotted the two hugging and he smiled at the sight; that smile grew when they pulled apart and Michael looked over to see him.

Because Michael didn't change completely over the years, but he wasn't exactly the same boy he was when he first got to the Ramsey household, and that's what Gavin liked about him. He liked that Michael could still be Michael, but with some sort of a twist – a good one. Although... they did have a bit of a secret between them that Gavin never dared mention to anyone.

“Ready to go back to school?” Gavin asked him now as they continue to sit on the swings.

“No,” Michael answered with a shake of his head, “Fuck, no. I hate it there.”

“Yeah, it's boring,” Gavin said with a nod. Michael smiled softly at him and Gavin inhaled sharply as he looked away.

“I think I'm gonna head in for a shower,” Michael told him, and Gavin forced himself to face him again to give him a knowing look. Before Michael actually stood up to leave, he patted Gavin's thigh, his hand lingering there a little bit until he got off the swing.

Gavin swallowed roughly, not understanding why such a little thing had made his cheeks warm up, but he shrugged it off and started to kick at the dirt underneath his feet.

 

* * *

Another thing that had happened since seventh grade was how Michael earned himself a bit of a reputation. He began to hang out with the group that everyone avoided, therefore, he started to be avoided by most students. He didn't mind, though; he actually liked that nobody would bother trying anything with him. It meant he was out of harm's way and free to go through his days without issues.

It remained that way ever since. The only things that had changed was his friend group – in a way. He still hung out with Kyle and Tim, but there were also new additions.

Geoff dropped him, Gavin, Ray, and Lindsay off at school as he always day, and he wished them all good luck on their first day, especially Ray. Ray just sighed and adjusted his backpack's straps before turning and following Gavin and Lindsay into the school building. He new the basics of the school from orientation, but now that he walked into it as an official student, he felt strange and almost stopped dead in his tracks, because nobody looked familiar.

Gavin noticed that he had stopped walking and asked, “Do you want me to help you get around? Or do you know where you need to go?” Ray closed his mouth and nodded.

“You'll be fine, Ray,” Lindsay told him as she patted his back, “but you can always text us if you need anything.” With that, she and Gavin headed off in different directions.

Ray stood there for a moment, looking around, hoping he would find Miles, but neither Miles or Kdin were anywhere in sight. So all he could hope was that Miles was having as much trouble as he was.

Michael smiled as he spotted two of his friends, standing around Kyle's locker.

“Hey assholes,” he greeted them as he walked up to them.

“Hey Michael,” Kyle cheerfully said with a smile. “I was just telling Blaine-” Blaine was one of the newest additions; a football player and someone Michael wasn't so fond of at first, because he was a football player. Michael had assumed they were all the same – jock jerks who only hung out with other jocks. Blaine wasn't anything like that, though. He could barely stand his teammates most of his time, which was why he chose to hang out with Michael and Kyle. “-here that they were way to fair with the freshmen, because while I have this crappy locker,” Kyle tapped said locker, “they get brand new ones.”

“I think they're just trying to go easy on the newcomers,” Blaine said, “They're already scared enough.” Michael's mind went straight to Ray, so he nodded.

“Nothing wrong with that,” he told Kyle, “so stop complaining, you big baby.”

“I would just like a locker that doesn't refuse to open and close sometimes,” Kyle explained.

“And I'd love a coach who won't make me lose my hearing before I graduate, but hey, we can't all be happy,” Blaine told him, a smirk on his face. Kyle just laughed.

“Hi Michael,” a voice that made all three of the boys turn around said. Michael sighed and looked away when he noticed the group of girls.

Kyle and Blaine covered their mouths to hide their smiles, but it wasn't helping.

“Hey... uh, Chelsea,” Michael greeted the specific girl that had said his name, but he sounded a little too unenthusiastic.

“Since it's the first day of school, I figured we won't get a crazy amount of homework, at least not yet,” she was talking but Michael was only slightly paying attention, because he was just glaring at his friends for silently laughing at him, “so I know you'll probably have some free time after school. Maybe I could fill that time up for you.” Michael stiffened when he felt the girl's hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and shook his head.

“Actually, I am busy after school,” he told her.

Chelsea frowned and slowly took her hand off his shoulder. “Oh, well. Maybe next time?”

“Maybe,” Michael blandly answered. He looked at his friends and nodded towards down the hall. Kyle and Blaine waved at the girls before walking away with Michael.

“Never gonna give her the time of day, huh?” Blaine asked him.

“Only because I know I'm not the only one she tries to get with,” Michael said.

Kyle swung his arm around Michael's neck and sighed. “Can't blame them for trying,” he teased. Michael groaned and pushed his arm off of him.

The boys came to a stop when they reached their other friend's locker and saw him just arriving to it. His name was Chris Demarais and he was probably the last person who looked like he could fit in with Michael's group, but somehow, he did. He never hung out with them when they went out drinking, though, but they enjoyed his company. He wasn't rude or dull; he was basically another clone of them, only way nicer – much nicer. He was also the second newest addition.

“Chris,” Kyle greeted as he leaned against the locker next to Chris', “Please tell me you have a class with me, because I know Michael and Blaine have none with me, but they have almost all of them together.”

Chris smiled at him before handing him his schedule. “Let me know if we do,” he said. Kyle nodded and started reading down the list, but he was only left disappointed when he got to the end.

“I'm alone this year,” Kyle mumbled as he handed the schedule back to Chris.

“You still got Tim and David, though,” Blaine said, David being the last newest addition, “You know, maybe.”

“Well I'll cross my fingers, but I was kind of hoping it would be one of you three.”

“There's always next year,” Michael told him. He looked at Chris and squinted his eyes when he saw a dazed look on Chris' face. He followed Chris' gaze until he found Barbara standing on the other side of the hallway with Lindsay; she was laughing at something Lindsay had told her and Chris was mesmerized. Michael sighed and patted his friend's shoulder.

“Maybe one day,” he whispered to him.

“Or never,” Blaine said, “Especially if she doesn't even know you.” Kyle furrowed his eyebrows at him, but Blaine continued talking to Chris, “Dude, at least go introduce yourself to her. It's a start; one that needs to happen.”

“I can't,” Chris told him, the sound of defeat in his voice.

“You know what?” Michael asked and Chris nodded at him, waiting for the answer. “I know Lindsay, obviously, and Barbara's pretty much always at the house. I can just talk to her about you the next time she's over.” But Chris shook his head frantically.

“Don't!” He begged. “I don't want her knowing who I am. She wouldn't even like me. She would probably go for one of you guys, but not me.”

“Why not?” Kyle asked. “Compared to us, you're a little sweetheart. Who doesn't like a sweetheart with a good sense of humor?”

“And you're not so bad looking, either,” Blaine added, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows at Chris.

“I'm not funny. What made you think I was funny?” Chris asked.

“Probably all the times you've made us laugh,” Michael answered, but then he whispered, “Idiot.”

Chris sighed and crossed his arms. He glanced back at Barbara before pursing his lips.

“I'll think about it,” he said softly.

“Good enough,” Michael told him.

 

* * *

 

“Miles! Oh thank fuck!” Ray shouted as he practically ran into his friend's arms. He had been wandering the hallways for about ten minutes, confused out of his mind and annoyed by the cruel looks he was getting.

Miles froze and let it happen, but he hugged his friend back, and was just as relieved. “I was looking everywhere for you, Gav, and Linds!” He said to Ray when they pulled out of the embrace.

“They pretty much ditched me,” Ray told him, “I think they're trying to get me to adjust to this place on my own like a baby bird.” He pointed up to the ceiling. “Fly away little bird, fly!” Miles looked up and laughed.

“I guess I have to get used to being on my own, too, because we don't have any of the same classes,” Miles reminded him.

“Oh, great,” Ray muttered under his breath. “In all honesty, I really don't care about being by myself for most of the day, but it's gonna get some getting used to after being by your side for years.” Miles nodded.

“I think we should go find Gavin and Kdin and kick their asses for trying to hide from us.”

Ray agreed and the two started walking in some random direction, hoping they would eventually run into Gavin or Kdin, but preferably both. They got about down two hallways before the bell rung and they stopped dead in their tracks while everyone started scattering around.

“Well,” Miles spoke, swallowing the lump in his throat, “I guess this is where we say goodbye.” Ray frowned as he looked at him.

“Does it have to be this soon?” He asked.

Miles nodded and took a deep breath. “I'm afraid it does.” He wished Ray good luck and walked off to head to his first class, but Ray had absolutely no idea where to go from there.

He tried thinking back to orientation, but that's when he realized he had barely paid attention because he had been too distracted with what Miles was joking around about. Now he regretted that.

“Great,” he mumbled before beginning to walk, checking each classroom door on his way. He thought about asking for help, but no one appeared friendly enough to ask.

“I'll see you later,” Michael said to his friends as he turned around and started walking towards his class. He was keeping his head down, but he looked up briefly to find Ray, looking more lost than ever.

Ray had seen him, too, and he sighed in relief as he walked up to him.

“Where are you heading to?” Michael asked, to which Ray looked down at his schedule to get the room number correctly.

“Uh, English in room five-nineteen,” Ray answered, looking back up to meet Michael's eyes.

“Hmm, that's not far from mine, which, by the way, you're going in the wrong direction,” Michael told him, making a hint of red appear on Ray's cheeks. The older lad gestured towards the other way. “Come on,” he said, “I'll walk you.”

Ray smiled, feeling a bit foolish that he could have been completely late because he wasn't even in the correct hallway. With a nod, he began to follow Michael.

 


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorites so far and you'll probably be able to tell why. :)

“Cheers, everyone,” Lindsay said as she picked up another slice of pizza from the box and held it up.

“Cheers,” her friends replied as they touched their slices together before each of them took a bite of their own.

“I feel like I haven't had pizza in... too long,” Arryn said after swallowing the piece in her mouth.

“You're welcome for suggesting it,” Ray told her, making her roll her eyes.

“At least I'm not the one still getting lost at school,” she teased.

Ray threw his free hand up as he furrowed his eyebrows. “That's not fair,” he said, “The first week is always hard on certain freshmen. Give some of us a break; we can't all get used to a new place like you so easily like you. I guarantee that by Monday, I'll know that school like the back of my hand.”

“Then you better get to studying each hall because tomorrow's Friday and I doubt you'll go on the weekend to get to know it,” Kdin told him.

“Yeah tomorrow's Friday, but I've had all week to get to know that school. Tomorrow will just be a refresher.”

Gavin and Lindsay raised their eyebrows at Ray but they said nothing and continued eating.

“Okay, okay,” Arryn sighed as she sat up. “So, why didn't Barbara or Miles come over?”

“Barbara had something to do with her mom,” Kdin answered.

“And Miles... well, Miles...” Lindsay bit down on her lower lip as she tried thinking back to his excuse. “I don't know, honestly. I guess he has something to do, too, but he was pretty vague.”

“Or pretty nervous to be around Arryn,” Gavin murmured under his breath. Only Kdin actually heard exactly what he said and they laughed to themselves, getting a baffled look by their friends.

“Yeah, he's busy,” Gavin told Arryn and she nodded.

“Oh, look, it's my favorite group of kids!” They all turned around to see Geoff walking in with Griffon behind him. Geoff squeezed in between Gavin and Kdin on the couch, making Ray have to push up against Arryn and Lindsay until Lindsay just stood up to give them more room.

“Sit down, Lindsay,” Geoff told her, “You fit.”

“I could if Ray wasn't so obnoxious about sitting too close to Kdin,” she said, her tone playful. Ray sighed and squished closer to Kdin.

“Please help me,” Kdin whispered as he looked over at Gavin.

Griffon laughed as she sat down on the sofa. “I told Geoff you guys were crowded in here, but he insisted that we join you.”

“Now that school has started again, I feel like I only see you kids during dinner,” Geoff said, “Well, specifically Gavin, Lindsay, Ray, and...” he looked around the room, but he was hardly surprised that Michael was nowhere in sight.

“Don't lie,” Kdin spoke up, “You missed seeing Arryn and I around, too.”

“I probably miss Miles a bit more, though,” Geoff told him, “just because he's the awkward one that thinks he's funny.”

“Which is why he and Ray are great mates,” Gavin pointed out, receiving a glare from the youngest lad and a laugh out of everyone else.

“So, tell us. How's school been?” Griffon asked the group.

“Besides having too much homework already, it's been alright,” Ray answered.

“I agree,” Kdin said, “I feel we need to be slowly eased back into having to deal with homework and tests after being away from all of that for so long.”

“Yes, because I can barely remember what I even did this summer, and those were fun things,” Arryn told them. “How am I expected to remember the things that weren't fun?”

Gavin pursed his lips and looked down to fiddle with his fingers. Lindsay went ahead to explain the classes she was so excited to be in and the classes that she wished she could skip. They all listened intently as she marveled about her favorite teachers and how having her ninth grade English teacher as her teacher again was probably one of the best things. Everyone was telling her how great that was except for Gavin, who just sat quietly and smiled at the redhead.

Geoff looked at him and patted his shoulder. “And what about you, buddy?”

“What about me?” Gavin asked.

“How's school been going for you?”

The Brit turned away to avoid everyone's gaze as he said, “I didn't think there would come a time where I would be afraid to enter a science class.”

“I told you not to take Chemistry yet,” Lindsay said to him. “You could have gone easier this year and jumped into in eleventh grade.”

“Yeah, I thought you were crazy for wanting to take Chemistry,” Griffon said, “But hey, I know you love science.”

“I'm beginning to hate it,” Gavin replied bitterly as he crossed his arms.

“Remember that you can always ask for help,” Geoff said as he stood up from the couch, making Kdin and Ray sigh in relief now that they had more room and didn't need to squeezed together. Arryn laughed at them.

“Anyway,” Geoff went on, “the kitchen still needs cleaning up. Who wants to help?!” He sounded so excited, but the kids mostly groaned.

 

* * *

 

Gavin squinted his eyes as he stared at the worksheet in front of him. It had been around four hours since his friends left and two hours since everyone in the house went to sleep, except for him. The second his friends left, he headed upstairs to work on his homework for Geometry, History, and Chemistry. He hadn't even looked at his phone or at the digital clock to check the time from being so concentrated (and admittedly, very confused) with the papers. He managed to get history out of the way within the first half hour, but geometry almost kicked his butt, and chemistry was doing that now since he decided to work on that one last.

He read over the question he'd been struggling with out loud to see if it made more sense that way, but it still didn't.

“What the bloody hell does that even mean?” He asked as he put his pencil down and ran his fingers through his hair. He tugged on it a bit before shaking his head and putting his hands down.

“I will finish this,” he told himself, and with a deep breath, he grabbed his pencil again and read over the question for a fifth time.

It obviously made sense; or perhaps his teacher was purposely trying to ruin his life with useless questions, but he wanted to doubt that. Gavin was slowly starting to get the question when something else caught his attention.

His head shot up at the sound of ruffling coming from just outside his window. He didn't move or blink, but merely stared fearfully to see if anything appeared in view; it also didn't help that his bedroom was pretty dark aside from the dim light coming from his lamp. A shadow made him stiffen and just as he was about to grasp the courage to jump up and run out of his room, he spotted the familiar face looking at him from the other side.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Gavin sat up slowly and watched as Michael opened up the window and climbed inside.

“I thought you were in your room,” Gavin told him.

“It's too early to sleep,” Michael said as he turned around to close the window. Gavin stood up from his bed and crossed his arms.

“You could have told me you'd be out again.”

“I _could_ have,” Michael agreed, “but you were around everyone else and I didn't want to look suspicious from pulling you aside.”

Gavin looked over at his phone and pressed a button on it to light it up. He almost gasped when he saw it was nearing midnight.

“Jesus, Michael,” he said sternly, “What if Geoff and Griffon caught you?”

“That's why I used your room to sneak back in,” Michael told him. “ _And_ I know that if they would have noticed me gone, you would have covered for me again, Gavvy-wavvy.” Gavin cringed at the nickname.

“Don't call me that,” he said, making sure he sounded demanding. Michael pouted and Gavin averted his eyes. How they managed to be on good terms sometimes and be on the worst other times was beyond Gavin, but it's how it worked between them. It usually depended on each other's moods and right now, Gavin was far from amused. Plus, he was exhausted and his brain felt burnt out.

Hearing Michael laugh, Gavin looked at him again.

“You know,” Gavin spoke, “One of these days I'm not going to cover for you, because you keep assuming that I _just_ will every time you leave.”

“Fine, then don't,” Michael shrugged, “I don't mind getting yelled at.”

“Geoff and Griffon wouldn't yell at you, but they sure wouldn't let you off easy either.”

“Gavin, you act like I care. Sorry to break it to you, but I don't.” It was that little attitude in Michael's tone that never failed to frustrate Gavin to no end.

How he came to start covering for Michael happened without discussion. It was sometime during their eighth grade year when Gavin was awoken by noises coming from downstairs. He quickly ran out of his room, thinking it was an intruder, and his instinct was to wake up Geoff and call the police, but he recognized the person slowly walking up the stairs.

Michael.

“What are you doing?” Gavin had asked him.

“Shh,” Michael said as he brought up a finger up to his lips, “I just got here.”

“Well, where were you?”

“Out.” Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I get that part, but out _where_?”

Michael finished walking up the stairs and said to Gavin, “None of your god damn business.”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Gavin asked him.

“No.”

“Well... neither do I, but I'm sure it's extremely late.”

“Yeah, probably,” Michael whispered as he laughed softly.

Gavin opened his mouth to say more when the master bedroom's door opened. Both boys froze as Griffon stepped out. She crossed her arms when she saw them.

“Hi, Griffon,” Michael casually said.

“Why are you two awake?” She asked, “It's one in the morning.” Gavin gaped at that.

One in the morning and Michael barely got home? Gavin tried not being so surprised, but this had been the first time he knew of that Michael had gotten home so late.

Griffon then noticed Michael's attire and raised an eyebrow. “Michael, don't tell me you just-”

“Of course not,” Gavin blurted out, and he didn't even know why. There was just something that told him he had to, but now Michael and Griffon were both staring at him, baffled by his sudden outburst.

“Of course not,” Gavin repeated, sounding more simple now, “He fell asleep downstairs on the couch. I got up because I heard the TV on and I went to check.”

“Is this true, Michael?” Griffon asked.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows at Gavin, but he cleared his throat and nodded at Griffon.

“It's true,” he said, “so now I'm going to change and get more sleep before we have to get up for school.” Griffon almost didn't believe them, but Gavin had never been one to lie, so she nodded.

“Okay,” she said, “Well, goodnight, boys.” With that, she walked back into her room and Michael turned to glare at Gavin.

“What the fuck?” He asked, but Gavin shrugged, because he didn't know what the fuck, either.

After that, it was like some unspoken promise that Gavin would have Michael's back when it came to Michael wanting to sneak out to hang out with his friends. It wasn't as if Gavin needed to do this, and it definitely wasn't because Michael was depending on him, because really, Michael didn't care whether he got caught or not. Of course it was always better when he wasn't caught, but if it happened, it happened.

And now, two years later, they were still doing this. It was the secret held between them, and admittedly, it was sort of what made them a bit closer than before.

Gavin brought up his hands and rubbed his temples.

“Got a little headache there, Gavvy?” Michael asked, his tone displaying such fake sympathy.

“Stop calling me that,” Gavin said firmly, “And yes, I do, because of you.” He sighed loudly and turned to look at the textbook and papers spread across his bed, “Also because of this.” Michael looked at Gavin's bed and smirked.

“That's why I make sure to finish my homework the second I get here after school,” Michael told him, “So I don't have to be up right now still doing it.”

“Well my friends were over,” Gavin reminded him, “I was just trying to be a good host.” Michael snickered and shook his head.

“What?” Gavin asked. “What are you laughing at?”

“You,” Michael said, a playful smile forming on his face.

“ _Me_?” Gavin questioned, his eyebrows twitching together as he stared at the other.

Michael nodded. “Yeah, has anyone ever told you that you're kind of cute when you're mad?” Gavin's jaw dropped open, but Michael continued to speak, “Not that you're not cute all the time, but when you're mad...”

“W-Wha-” Gavin stuttered, and he couldn't even finish asking anything because the word 'cute' kept running through his mind. He could feel heat rising to his face, so he turned away to avoid eye contact with Michael.

Michael didn't even say anything as he walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving Gavin to stand alone in his bedroom.

_Cute?_ Gavin blinked hard and slowly sat back down on his bed. He heard the sound of paper crinkling underneath him, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not when he was replaying Michael's words over and over in his mind. 

 


	12. Twelve

“We should try out for football,” Ray said to Miles as they walked passed some of the football players in the hallway. Miles laughed at that – hysterically, too, making Ray want to laugh as well.

“No,” he then said, his face completely serious and laughter gone, “I would die.”

Ray shook his head, wanting to tell Miles that he was over exaggerating, but he couldn't. “Yeah, me too,” he just agreed instead.

Miles looked at the walls they passed and gasped when he saw a sign up sheet. “Ooh,” he pointed to the poster, “We can be in drama. Dude, we could be stars.” Now it was Ray that was laughing hysterically, which Miles gladly joined him in.

“We'll be professional actors in no time,” Ray deadpanned, and Miles frowned.

“You suck. Why am I friends with you?”

“Because without me, who would you have?” Ray asked him as he began to walk again. Miles raised an eyebrow, but he followed his friend and sighed.

“Well,” he spoke, holding up his hand to count with his fingers, “There would be Kdin, Gav-”

“No, no. Gavin's mine.”

Miles blinked a few times, trying to figure out if Ray was being serious with that or not, but with the emotionless look upon Ray's face, it couldn't be determined. “ _Okay_ ,” Miles moved on. “Then, there would be Kdin-”

“ _But_ I'm _pretty_ sure Kdin likes me better than you.”

Miles' eyes widened at that. He quite walking for about a second before he jumped in front of Ray. Ray immediately halted in his tracks to prevent himself from running right into Miles, and then he stared, bewildered, at him.

“Kdin doesn't like you better,” Miles said, sounding just as offended as he looked.

Ray frowned and slowly turned Miles around so they could continue on walking down the corridor. He kept his hand on Miles' back as he cleared his throat to say, “Do you remember that one Valentine's day back in elementary school where you gave Kdin that box of chocolates, because the girl you were originally going to give them to didn't want them?” Miles nodded, so Ray went on, “Okay, and do you remember that you specifically said to Kdin, _when_ handing them to him, 'Here, Kdin, have these chocolates, because they mean nothing to me, kind of like you mean nothing to me.'?”

Miles pursed his lips and nodded.

“And do you remember what Kdin said to you after that?” Ray asked as a smile began to take place on his face.

Miles looked down as he mumbled Kdin's exact words, “Miles, you're a horrible friend. I like Ray better than you...”

“Exactly.”

“Well!” Miles suddenly shouted as he threw his hands up. “I was just kidding when I said he meant nothing to me!”

“It wasn't the best time to joke around with him, because it was one of the few times he was in a _very_ bad mood.”

“ _Someone_ should have warned me!”

Not even bothering to give Miles an answer, Ray just gave the other a quick hug from the side. The bell for their first period to begin rang and they sighed in disappointment. Giving each other a wave goodbye, they walked off in their separate directions.

On his way to class, though, Miles saw Kdin and Gavin heading a different way, but he hurried to catch up with them.

“So, what did you want to tell me about Michael?” Kdin asked Gavin as they made way their way through the throng of people. “I know you can't exactly tell what someone is really thinking or feeling through a text message, but I could sense your discomfort.”

Gavin's heart did a small leap as he thought back to what Michael had said to him the night before after he sneaked in. He didn't want to tell anyone about it for various reasons, but since he had failed at getting over it, he texted Kdin first thing when he woke up. Now he wished he hadn't.

“Well,” he began, “uh, last night-”

“Kdin!” Miles shouted as reached the two, practically crashing into them from the back. Both Kdin and Gavin tripped over themselves from that, but they caught their balance before they could actually fall, and then turned around to face their friend.

“What?” Kdin asked, clutching his own chest. “You may have caused me to piss my pants a little.” Gavin looked Kdin up and down with raised eyebrows and Kdin went on to say, “Not enough to show, though.” And he glared at the Brit.

“You don't prefer Ray over me, do you?” Miles asked Kdin.

Kdin squinted his eyes at him. “What? Why are you even asking that?”

“I was just with Ray and he said-”

“Miles, no,” Kdin stopped him right there, “I like you just as much as I like Gavin, Lindsay, and Ray. Maybe I like some of you more than others on certain days, but you get the point.” Miles sighed in relief and nodded.

“Anyway, what were we talking about again?” Kdin asked Gavin as he looked over at him.

Gavin shook his head. “Wasn't that important. Let's just get to class.”

“Oh, right, class,” Miles mumbled.

“Yeah, so, we'll see you at lunch, Miles,” Kdin told him as he and Gavin turned back around and headed off. Gavin thought about bringing up Michael again, but the closer they got to the classroom, the more he decided it was best to stop dwelling on it. He partly knew that all he wanted was to be told that it meant nothing and he was overreacting, but he could simply tell himself that over and over.

The thing was, he wouldn't, because it was easier said than done. It was _always_ easier said.

 

* * *

 

Griffon came home for lunch as she knew Geoff would be there, too. She arrived first, though, and went ahead and got started on preparing them a quick meal, or maybe some leftovers she could heat up. She walked over to the refrigerator to see the food they had stored when her phone rang on the counter.

With a sigh, she turned away from the refrigerator and grabbed it. She blinked a few times as she saw the caller ID, because it had been a while since she saw the name 'Sarah' appear on there.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hi, Griffon,” Sarah casually greeted.

“Hey, Sarah. I have to say, I'm surprised to see you calling.”

“Oh, I know. I honestly wouldn't have called, but I felt like you should know this, because it does have to do with Gavin and Gavin is under your care right now...” the way she trailed off there made a sickening feeling slowly grow in Griffon's stomach.

“Okay, then, what is it?” She hadn't meant to sound anxious or demanding from the way she asked, but it sort of ended up coming out that way.

“I can't tell you many details, because _I_ don't even know much, but I will tell you everything I _do_ know and that is...” Sarah was quiet for a moment that Griffon was tempted to ask her if she was still there, but then Sarah was talking again, “A woman called here the other day asking for Gavin.”

Griffon furrowed her eyebrows. “Did she say who she was or what she wanted?”

“All she told me was that she was wondering where Gavin was and how he was doing,” Sarah told her. “I didn't like the sound of her, if I'm being honest. She sounded very strange, almost like she was nervous to have to talk to me at all.”

“You're making me a little nervous by telling me this,” Griffon admitted as she breathed out a laugh in an attempt to relax herself.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I was also nervous, though, after getting off the phone with her.”

Griffon looked out the kitchen window at the sound of a car door to see Geoff walking towards the front door.

“And that's all she said?” She asked Sarah.

“Yes, and if she calls back or if anything else happens with that, I'll be sure to let you know,” Sarah assured her.

“Okay, that sounds good.”

“Remember that we want to ensure the best protection for every kid here.”

Griffon sighed softly. “Of course. Well, thank you, Sarah. Have a good day,” she hung up the phone call and smiled faintly when she heard the front door opening, followed by Geoff calling out her name.

 

* * *

 

Michael and Kyle walked ahead of Tim and David as they left the lunch line and headed for their usual table. This had been the time of day that Michael had been waiting for, especially since his stomach had been begging him for good since ten, during his geometry class. It got to the point where he was actually fantasizing about himself eating different kinds of food and almost drooling because of it. Blaine shared that class with him and could see the hungry look on Michael's face, so when their teacher was distracted with helping a student on a specific problem, Blaine placed something on Michael's desk.

It had been a granola bar and although it wasn't as good as the sandwich he'd been daydreaming about, he gladly accepted it. It helped for a while, but now his stomach was growling loudly and he couldn't wait to sit down and dig into his plate of chicken nuggets and pasta salad.

“Are those chicken nuggets even good?” Kyle asked him once they got to the table.

“They're fucking delicious,” Michael answered through a mouthful of two of them. “It's the one thing the schools here get right.”

Kyle laughed and shook his head.

Gavin looked over at them and couldn't help but smile to see how infatuated Michael seemed, how he always seemed, with those little chicken nuggets. He did have to admit, though, that they were pretty satisfying. His eyes wandered over to Michael's two other friends who were barely making their way to the table and he stiffened to see the two glaring at Michael and Kyle. One of them whispered something to the other and they both rolled their eyes. Gavin saw how their attitude changed the moment they sat down; he saw the way they would would smile when Michael or Kyle said something, but would frown when Michael and Kyle weren't looking.

It probably wasn't a big deal, but Gavin felt uncomfortable just watching it from afar.

“You okay there, Gav?” Ray asked.

Gavin blinked hard and faced his friends again as he nodded. “Yeah, I'm great,” he answered dully.

“You _sound_ great,” Miles joked, smiling lopsidedly.

Kdin and Ray laughed, but Gavin crossed his arms.

“I'm sorry,” Miles told him.

Gavin sat up and nodded towards Michael's table. His friends looked over there as he explained, “There's something up with two of those guys, the ones sitting across from Michael and... uh...”

“Kyle?” Kdin asked. Gavin snapped his fingers and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, Kyle,” he said, “the two guys sitting across from Michael and Kyle. I was just looking over there and I saw them _staring_ at Michael and Kyle like they couldn't _stand_ them.”

“Maybe they had a disagreement and they're still annoyed with it,” Kdin suggested.

“Maybe,” Gavin agreed, “But it was weird. I've never seen anyone look at their friends with that kind of anger.”

“What are you talking about?” Ray asked. “I look at you like that all the time.” Gavin merely rolled his eyes.

While Miles started messing around with Ray's food and Kdin laughed about it, Gavin looked back at Michael and his friends, but the four looked to be communicating like any group of friends would, like nothing had happened between them. Maybe the two guys weren't mad at Michael or Kyle, then. Maybe they were just mad about something else...

Maybe- wait, why did Gavin care? It was none of his business, anyway, and yet, he couldn't stop glancing over at the table every now and so, but things no longer looked suspicious.

 _Who cares,_ Gavin thought to himself. He knew the answer to that, though.

It was himself. _He_ cared.

 

* * *

 

If having the whole “Michael called me cute” in mind was difficult to get rid of, having “Some of Michael's friends are acting weird and he doesn't know” was just more of a challenge for Gavin. He managed not to make it obvious, though, by going about the rest of the school day and giving his friends his full attention, unlike he was giving them at lunch. On the bus, he was proud of himself not once looking over at Michael.

As they walked into the house, they were all greeted by Griffon, but three of them stepped aside and watched with raised eyebrows as Gavin received a hug from her. It wasn't anything strange, of course, but the fact that he was the only one to get one was a bit questioning. Even Gavin wasn't sure to hug back or not.

“Don't we get a hug?” Ray asked.

Griffon turned around and smiled brightly at him before enveloping him in a hug as well. Michael shook his head and merely began walking up the stairs. Gavin was letting him go without saying a word, but he surprised himself by yelling out to him to wait. Michael was about to take another step when he heard Gavin, and he stood there, frozen for a moment until he turned his head to look down at the Brit.

“Yeah, Michael, wait,” Griffon said to him as she pulled out of her hug with Lindsay. She opened her arms wide as she looked up at the oldest boy.

Michael shook his head. “No, I'm good. I'm just going to go and do my homework before dinner-”

“One hug is not going to kill you, Michael.”

Michael squinted his eyes and looked over at Gavin since Gavin had been the one to tell him to 'wait'. When Gavin just shrugged, Michael huffed and made his way back down the steps and into Griffon's arms. Griffon was actually amazed by this; she didn't think he would actually hug her, considering he never did. Lindsay and Ray smiled at each other as Gavin stared at Michael. Michael wasn't looking at anyone, but he did have an irritated look on his face, though he smiled when he and Griffon pulled apart and it only reminded Gavin of the way Michael's friends had acted at lunch.

“Okay, now I'm going to do my homework,” Michael announced as he turned back to the stairs.

Gavin pursed his lips. Michael probably planned on sneaking out again and that was something Gavin couldn't let him do. Not tonight... or any more nights for that matter. He didn't want Michael anywhere near those two guys, or Kyle, since he wasn't quite sure if Kyle was trustworthy either. The fact that he didn't see Kyle give Michael any weird looks didn't mean there wasn't anything to see there.

And what about that football player? He could be up to something, too. Or perhaps Gavin was seriously over thinking it all and everything was fine. He knew it wasn't his business, but he kept trying to make it his business. But why? He couldn't figure that part out.

“Are you kids hungry?” Griffon asked, snapping Gavin out of his persistent thoughts. He looked over to see her walking into the kitchen with Ray happily following behind.

“Maybe it's nothing, but do you think Griffon is acting different?” Lindsay questioned Gavin in a hushed tone as they stayed behind. Gavin looked at Griffon, then back at Lindsay. He did find the sudden hug for a greeting odd – nice, but odd – though with Michael on his mind, he let that hug slip his mind quickly.

“I suppose, but it could be that she's just in a really good mood,” he answered, and he mainly said that, because he didn't want t have something else plaguing his thoughts. Having Michael plague them was bad enough. He didn't need another thing added into the mix. Lindsay chewed on her lip as she thought about Gavin's answer, but she ended up merely nodding in agreement, and they went ahead and headed into the kitchen to eat whatever Griffon had taken out for them.

 

* * *

 

After they had eaten dinner and everything had been cleaned up, Geoff and Gavin sat in the living room together. The others had gone upstairs to work on things, but knowing he had no homework, Gavin stayed with Geoff to watch TV before bed. It was nice just sitting there and talking about any little thing with Geoff, especially when the topic of conversation would get Geoff to laugh; it all just made Gavin feel so relaxed.

Apparently Geoff was more in a bliss than Gavin, though, because somewhere along watching an episode of a sitcom they'd both seen many times, the older man fell asleep. His head was thrown back against the couch, his hands were resting in his lap, and – the funniest part of it – his mouth was wide open.

Gavin resisted the urge to laugh at the sight as he lowered the volume on the TV. He wasn't ready to go up to his bedroom yet. He snuggled up to himself as he tried paying attention to the show, although it wasn't quite a funny one, at least not as funny as it used to be to him.

Footsteps thumping against the steps on the stairs caused him to sit up immediately. He looked over his shoulder to find a figure of a person with a recognizable silhouette of curly hair heading right to the front door.

“Michael,” Gavin spoke softly, and it was enough to get Michael to halt in his tracks and spin around.

“Holy shit, you scared me,” Michael breathed out.

“You're not that great at sneaking out, you know?”

“Is Geoff asleep?”

“... Yes.”

Michael smirked. “I'm not _that_ bad at it, then. I _knew_ he would be asleep.”

“But you didn't think I'd be down here, did you?”

Michael almost wanted to avoid answering that, but then he simply shook his head, which only made Gavin smile smugly.

“If you're done talking, I'll be on my way,” Michael said as he grabbed the doorknob. 

“I'm not done talking,” Gavin told him. Michael raised an eyebrow, studying Gavin's face from where he was standing to find a trace of sarcasm. There was none.

He slowly let go of the doorknob and crossed his arms. “What do you want, then?” He asked.

The blond licked his lips as he tried hurrying with coming up with a good enough excuse. He got up from the couch, his eyes never leaving Michael's, and started making his way towards him. For whatever reason, Michael took a step back once Gavin came face-to-face with him. Gavin took notice of that, though he didn't question it. 

“I think I want you to stay here tonight,” he practically whispered to Michael. 

Michael didn't say anything; in fact, he was the quietest he'd ever been in years. Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat that had formed from the tension between them. The absolute regret of saying anything started to settle in as the expression on Michael's face turned into, what appeared to be, utter displeasure. 

“Was that not right of me to say?” Gavin asked, unable to handle the silence anymore. 

Instead of an answer, Michael went with a question as well, “Since when the hell do  _you_ want me to stay?” Gavin opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't know what to say. 

“I could expect that from Lindsay, maybe, but _you_?” Michael shook his head. “It doesn't make sense.”

“I-it could,” Gavin quietly said. He had the need to break eye contact, but he kept it only to not look intimidated. 

Michael looked to be contemplating something in his head, so Gavin continued to talk, “I just feel like you should stay in for once-”

“You act like I'm out _every single night_ ,” Michael interrupted him. 

“You might as well be, because even when you do stay home, you aren't really with us.”

“Yes, I am! I hang out with you guys more than I did before.”

“But you're still distant from us,” Gavin explained, “It's like you're there, but you aren't really _there_.”

Michael stared blandly at him. “That's not true,” he said, and it wasn't. At least not as true as it used to be, but Gavin was running out of things to say.

“Uh, well...” he trailed off and finally broke the eye contact. Michael took that cue to leave, so he turned to the door, but as his hand reached for the doorknob again, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Just for tonight,” Gavin pleaded. 

Michael shrugged a shoulder, the one Gavin's hand was on, and Gavin instantly put his hand down. The corners of Michael's mouth rose slightly as he fully faced the Brit. 

“Fine, Gavin, I'll stay for tonight.”

Gavin couldn't even stop himself from grinning. He really didn't think it would be that easy, but he was relieved it was. 

“That's great!” He shouted a little too loudly. A groan coming from the couch made them both look over at it with wide eyes. 

Geoff stood up slowly – very slowly – and he was getting ready to stretch, but he caught the sight of Gavin and Michael from his peripheral vision. 

“What are two doing standing there?” He asked them. “You look creepy.” He actually didn't care for an answer, since he started walking towards them to get to the staircase and didn't bother waiting or looking at them for a response. 

“Goodnight Geoff,” the boys called up to him. 

“Yeah, goodnight,” Geoff mumbled back before letting out a yawn.

Michael rolled his eyes and shook his head, a soft smile on his face while doing so, and Gavin laughed. 

“You know, since I'm staying in, we better do something fun,” Michael then told him.

Gavin's eyes lit up at that. “Well, I know the perfect thing.” He nodded towards the living room and they both walked over. Michael sat down on the couch as he watched Gavin bend down next to the TV and start messing with a few cables, and he knew  _ exactly _ what they were about to do. 

“I think I'm already having fun from just imagining myself beating you at any game you pick,” Michael teased. 

Gavin grabbed two controllers and handed one to him before sitting down, keeping a decent amount of space between them.

“Don't be too sure, Michael,” he challenged.

Michael wanted to laugh. However, he simply smirked and stated, “You're on.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the one thing I really liked about this chapter was having Gavin over think a lot of things. It reminded me a lot of me, because that's exactly how I am with certain situations, so it was kind of fun to write. I know I threw a lot of things at you this chapter, but I consider this one to be a filler, just to let you know what's coming up. Sorry this took forever to get updated, but the next chapter should be out before this week ends since I don't want to leave you all with a filler for too long lol if you have any questions, you can ask them in the comments or on tumblr (I'm mogarsjones on there). :D


	13. Thirteen

Michael didn't want to admit it, which was why he stayed quiet about it, but he did enjoy his night with Gavin. The two were up until eleven-thirty, practically mindlessly playing various games, but it was mostly just Michael boasting about how much better he was than Gavin at them – which he was, he definitely was. But that would only make Gavin keep challenging Michael, and it's how they ended up staying awake longer than planned. It was a miracle they didn't wake anyone with their raging screams and victory cheers (all of mostly came from Michael).

Gavin had found himself getting extremely angry when playing games before, but seeing how angry Michael would become when he kept making mistakes and almost allowing Gavin to win was hilariously entertaining. And the way Gavin would laugh was nice; he sounded so happy and full of excitement (even some obnoxiousness) that it kind of passed over to Michael, because Michael found it difficult at one point to stop smiling.

Yeah, Michael didn't want to admit any of that, but deep down, he knew it was all too true. He knew he did like being with Gavin instead of the other guys.

Gavin wasn't afraid to say that he liked it, too. It was honestly one of the funnest nights he'd ever experienced, and it happened with Michael – of all people.

Sure it only happened because Gavin wanted to keep Michael away from those _friends_ of his, but he kind of knew that he would have eventually asked Michael to hang out with him anyway. 

But at school, he continued to be cautious of Michael's friends, for Michael's sake. At first, he was subtle about it, by merely glancing over where Michael was standing and talking to a few of the guys, but those few were Chris and Kyle; Gavin didn't see Michael anywhere near the two who were acting strange the day before. Even though Gavin wasn't quite sure about Kyle, he wasn't at all worried about Chris. Chris was the only friend of Michael's that Gavin had talked to plenty of times before and there was nothing suspicious about him. Therefore, the Brit shrugged it off and stopped staring. 

That was how the first half of the morning went. 

The second half, as Gavin headed out of his third period and to his fourth, he spotted Michael leaning against a wall – alone. That is, until he saw one of the strange friends walking up to Michael. Gavin squinted his eyes as he watched the two communicated, how the friend looked stern and bored while Michael actually appeared to be lively. Something about that bothered Gavin, just the way the  _ friend  _ went on like he couldn't stand being in the presence of Michael. So why was he even there?

Gavin shook his head, and he knew it was stupid to do it, but he walked over to them and grabbed Michael by the arm. 

Michael tried pulling away, but then he saw who it was. “What the hell, Gavin?” 

Gavin looked over at Michael's friend and smiled apologetically before saying, “A teacher is asking for Michael, so excuse us.” With that, he dragged Michael away and didn't look back until he figured they were far enough away (down the hall and around the corner). 

“Gavin, what the fuck?” Michael asked, finally yanking his arm free. 

“What?” Gavin asked back.

Michael groaned. “What teacher's looking for me?” But seeing the unsure look on Gavin's face, he crossed his arms and said, “No teacher is even looking for me, you prick.”

Gavin shrugged and grinned. 

“Then what the fuck?” Michael almost shouted as he punched Gavin lightly on the arm. 

“Ow,” Gavin yelped, rubbing the spot Michael hit. “Jesus, Michael. Is this what I get for wanting you to myself?”

Michael opened his mouth to respond when the words fully registered to him, so he paused and his eyebrows twitched together. 

“Wow,” Gavin breathed out after he also realized what he actually said to Michael. “That didn't sound the way I hoped it would have. What I meant was-”

“I'm gonna go,” Michael cut him off. He turned away, only glancing back at the blond one more time, and then he hurried off towards his next class. 

Gavin licked his lips and looked down at his feet, knowing his face was much too red. 

When Michael made it to his class, he immediately took his seat and got out a piece of paper and a pencil for the notes they would be taking before letting the corners of his mouth rise slowly.

 

* * *

 

“Should I get pie?” Miles asked as he, Ray, Kdin, and Gavin stood in the lunch line. His eyes were wide with delight as he examined the dessert choices of the day. “Oh, the those little cinnamon rolls look good, too.”

“Pie, definitely,” Barbara said as she walked passed them and grabbed one of the small plates that had a piece on it.

“Can't go wrong with pie,” Lindsay added as she did the same.

“Are you guys just seriously cutting us in line?” Ray asked them.

“We wouldn't have to if you kids would hurry up,” Arryn teased as she also walked around them to get some pie.

Miles smiled at her and grabbed himself one of the plates before moving up in the line. Ray and Kdin did the same, and Gavin was about to when he looked over his shoulder and saw Michael leaving the line to head up front like the girls did.

“Oh, hey,” Lindsay greeted him as he stood behind Arryn. Arryn moved aside a little to not be in their way as they talked.

“Hey, Lindsay,” Michael smiled at her.

“No dessert today?”

“Nah, well... normally, I would have, but I'm not that hungry.”

Lindsay nodded. “If I'm being honest, neither am I, because Geoff made sure we were full before we left the house. I think I'm still tasting that omelet.”

Michael laughed softly and agreed. After paying for his lunch, he told Lindsay he would see her later and started walking towards his table where a few of his friends where already at. Gavin tapped his foot impatiently, but the line wasn't moving fast enough.

When Miles was up to pay, Gavin saw that Michael had stopped at the condiments section. Next up as Ray, then Kdin, and finally, Gavin. The Brit saw his friends heading towards the section Michael was barely walking away from and instead of filling his hamburger with some of that stuff, Gavin went after Michael.

“Michael!” He called, causing the other to jump and spin around.

“What?” Michael asked sternly and Gavin couldn't blame him if he was startled.

Gavin didn't say anything until they were face to face. He started, “About earlier-”

“It doesn't matter,” Michael quickly stopped him.

Gavin blinked, but he nodded. “I know, but I still want you to know that I only meant that, well...” he scratched his head, feeling lost for words, and he could tell Michael was getting a bit anxious. Having trouble with what else to say, the Brit grabbed Michael by the arm as he did earlier and started dragging him in another direction.

“Gavin,” Michael grumbled, but Gavin ignored him as he kept on walking. Michael looked back at his friends to see they hadn't even noticed him yet, so he didn't try pulling away from Gavin. It was mostly due to the fact that he was curious as to where they were going this time, but that curiosity was instantly crushed the second they stopped at table where Ray, Kdin, and Miles were already seated at.

“Hi, guys!” Gavin greeted his friends and he set his tray down on the table.

“Gavin, why the hell am I here?” Michael asked in a hushed tone as he watched the blond sit down.

“So you can eat with us, you donut,” Gavin replied, a playful grin on his face. Michael looked at the other three; Ray also had a smile on his face whereas Miles and Kdin looked confused. Gavin gave those two a knowing look and understanding, they mouthed “Oh” before smiling at Michael as well.

“Yeah, sit,” Kdin said, “I feel like Miles and I have never really had an actual conversation with you.”

“It'll have to wait for another day,” Michael told him, “because I think I'm going to go sit with my friends instead. I wouldn't wanna intrude here where I'm hardly wanted.” Miles frowned, knowing his and Kdin's small dislike (what is it even considered dislike?) towards Michael had been much too obvious and unnecessarily rude; not just during that time, but all the other times.

“We do want you here,” he said to Michael before Michael turned to leave.

“What?” Michael asked, looking back at Miles.

“We do want you here,” Miles repeated himself. He could see Gavin staring at him with a look of awe, so he kept going, “Come on, Michael. We don't hate you. Ray and Gavin always tell Kdin and I some really cool things about you, and I think we could really be friends,” he smiled before going on, “But you'll have to sit with us and have that first actual conversation so we can get started with that.”

“It's true,” Kdin added, “I mean, you can even call me Kdone, if you want; if it gets you to stay here with us.”

Michael looked at Gavin, but Gavin merely nodded at him.

With a sigh, Michael placed his tray in front of him and sat down. “Thanks, K _din_.” He smiled softly, causing Kdin to smile as well.

Miles began talking about something some kid in his Art class did that was apparently funny as Michael looked over at his table. He could see Chris staring at him, but Chris only smiled when he was caught, and Michael returned it. He didn't feel too comfortable sitting there with Gavin and Ray and their friends, but he wasn't going to complain. He just wanted to enjoy himself as best as he could, especially because Gavin seriously seemed to want him there, and something about that made him feel good.

After school and after dinner, when the time came for Michael to head out as usual, Gavin attempted to get him to stay home again, and Michael didn't like that.

It was fine the night before, and it was fine to get him to hang out with different people at lunch, but Gavin being a little too clingy wasn't settling right with Michael. It just made no sense, and there had to be a reason. There always was.

Michael glared at Gavin now as Gavin stood in front of the door; his way of “blocking” Michael's way out. 

“Okay, Gavin,” Michael said before taking a deep breath, “What the fuck is going on with you?” Gavin tilted his head and looked innocently at Michael. “Don't you even pretend to act like you have no idea what I'm talking about, Gav.”

“I don't,” Gavin told him, hoping he didn't seem or sound uneasy.

“Seriously,” Michael said, taking a step closer to him, “Why the sudden need to hang out with me all the fucking time? You never cared this much before.” Gavin blinked. He knew he could just be honest with Michael, but he didn't want to be the one to break the news.

He gently grabbed Michael's shoulders and Michael stiffened. Gavin smiled softly at him as he said, “I just want to be closer to you.”

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat that formed from hearing those words. “Why?” He asked.

“There's no denying that I'm best friends with Lindsay,” Gavin explained, “And Ray's practically a brother to me; in fact, we used to refer to each other as brothers. But what am I with you? Just a roommate?” Michael averted his eyes, but Gavin kept talking, “I'm just trying to create a bond with you.” Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly true, but it wasn't a lie, either. Sure it would be nice to be close friends with Michael, but he wasn't sure whether or not he was being completely honest now.

“I'd say that we're kind of friends or something,” Michael mumbled.

“Kind of?” Gavin laughed. Michael, unamused, threw Gavin's hands off of his shoulders.

“Move, Gavin,” he said, or more like, demanded. “I wanna go see my friends.”

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you sure they're the right kind of friends?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Michael, can't you just stop hanging out with them all the time?”

Michael gentle expression darkened as he squinted his eyes and curled his fingers into tight fists.

“You're not gonna stop me from hanging out with them,” he said to Gavin. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Your _real_ friend,” Gavin answered, surprised in himself for sounding confident about it.

“No!” Michael shouted and Gavin flinched a little. Before he could say anything, Michael grabbed him and moved him away from the door. Gavin was going to stop him, but knowing how much stronger Michael apparently was than him, he didn't. He merely stood aside and gaped at him.

Michael twisted the door knob but glanced back at the blond to say, “I'm not apart of your group of friends. I have my own. I don't need _you_ , okay? So leave me alone.”

Gavin felt like he should say something, he even opened his mouth to do so, but by the time he thought of the right words, Michael was already out the door, and then it slammed shut.

“Bollocks,” Gavin muttered under his breath as he got out his cell phone.

> **Gavin: I need help with something. Now.**

He sent the message to Miles and Kdin before running upstairs to get Ray. 

 


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to write the next chapter !! Uh, there's some violence in this chapter, and a little mention of blood.

“I don't feel comfortable being out here,” Miles said as he followed Gavin, Ray, and Kdin towards a very empty area that he didn't even know existed in Austin, but apparently it was some well known hiking trail. When the sun wasn't up, though, it didn't feel like such an inviting place. Miles was almost afraid some wild animal was going to appear out of nowhere and attack them.

Ray had a flashlight, but that wasn't exactly comforting or enough light.

“Are you sure this is where Michael goes to hang out with those losers?” Kdin asked Gavin, purposely staying only one step behind him.

“I'm more than sure,” Gavin told him, and they all froze at the sound of laughter.

“Oh my god,” Miles breathed out, “It's a ghost.” He looked around frantically, his heart beginning to pick up speed, “It's a ghost that laughs right before it takes its victims. In this case, it's a group of four teenagers. Oh, man. What a score for that ghost, huh?”

“Miles, will you shut up?” Kdin asked him. “That wasn't a ghost.”

“Yeah, I recognize that laugh anywhere,” Ray said as he pointed the flashlight in a certain direction, “It belongs to a certain asshole.” He started marching towards the direction of the laughter and the other three quickly ran to catch up.

“So, do you think Kyle or Blaine will be joining us anytime soon?” Michael asked David. “I know Chris never comes out here with us, but this is the first time Kyle and Blaine aren't here.”

“Yeah, I don't think they'll be coming,” David answered as he stood up from the ground. It was some sort of reflex or something, but Michael had the urge to take a step back, and he did. “See, they really like you, Michael. I think you're their favorite.”

“What?” Michael asked.

“It's really annoying, too,” Tim said, “They weren't supposed to actually start liking you. That wasn't part of the plan.”

“What plan?” Miles asked Gavin in hushed tone as they hid nearby behind a bush.

“If you shut up for once, maybe we'd figure it out,” Kdin whispered to him.

Gavin ignored them both as he continued to watch and listen, along with Ray, who had long before turned off the flashlight.

“Plan?” Michael questioned Tim. “What plan are you even talking about?”

“It's kind of stupid,” David spoke up, “Because we went along with it for so long. Drew didn't even want to be apart of it anymore, since he got bored, which is why he stopped hanging out with us. Same with James, but we stuck to it, because of this very moment. We knew it would all pay off in the end.”

“Oh, man,” Ray whispered, starting to get a funny feeling in his stomach.

Michael blinked and took another step away from David and Tim. Gavin couldn't see Michael's face, but he could only imagine the look of betrayal he probably had on.

“So, you guys never were my friends,” Michael stated, his mind going back to what Gavin had said to him.

“Apparently Kyle and Blaine are,” Tim said with a disgusted look, “but David and I,” he laughed, “Why would we be friends with you?” He started to walk towards Michael – slow steps.

“You're just a pathetic, sad little thing,” David added as he too got closer to Michael.

Gavin tensed up at the sight, as did Ray and Kdin; they just stared, horrified, with their jaws slightly open and eyes wide.

Michael continued to back away from the two guys, but just he turned his body and ran, although he kept his eyes on the two guys and wasn't able to see the tree he ended up running into. That got a real laugh out of Tim and David as they saw Michael place his hands on his forehead and hissed through his teeth.

“Enough teasing,” Tim said to David, “Let's get him.” And they started launching towards Michael.

Michael shielded himself with his arms and shut his eyes, because he now felt much too lightheaded to try and run again, so he waited and expected the worst. What he didn't expect was to hear a voice shout, “Don't you dare hurt him!” followed by a loud groan from David.

Michael opened one eye to see Miles standing in front of him and David tumbling backwards as if he was trying to catch his balance; he was also holding his nose, and Michael realized what had just happened. Miles bit down on his lower lip and brought his fist up to his mouth to hold back the pain, because he didn't think punching someone in the face would hurt this badly.

“Oh my god,” he breathed out, “that guy has a _very_ strong nose.”

Tim glared at Miles, making the latter squeak.

“I-I'm sorry about your friend,” Miles nervously said to Tim as he held his hands up in front of him, “I'm only fourteen. I don't know any better! I was just trying to protect Michael, because you were gonna... I... you were... you were gonna do what I did to him,” he pointed to David, “but maybe ten times worse, because come on, man!” He looked at David who was still holding his own nose, “I doubt I punched you that hard, right? I think I hurt my own hand more than I hurt your face.”

“Fuck him up, Tim!” David shouted, though it came out muffled. Tim was ready to oblige as he growled at Miles and started marching towards him.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows, regaining himself a little from hitting his head on the tree's bark, and he took a step forward to stop Tim, but a flash of light did the trick first. Michael looked over his shoulder to see Ray pointing his flashlight right at Tim's face.

“Stop in the name of the law!” Ray exclaimed. _Seriously_?

“What the fuck is going on here?” Michael asked no one in particular, but he did want an answer, and maybe something for his pounding head.

Tim blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted to the light. “What are all these kids doing here?” He asked Michael.

Miles took that opportunity to run back over to his friends and he immediately hid behind Kdin.

“I guess they just followed me here,” Michael said, sending a glare in Gavin's direction.

“Aw, _how_ cute,” David sarcastically said, finally putting down his hands down to reveal a semi-bloody nose, to which Miles laughed at.

“I made him bleed!” He cheered, shaking Kdin in the process, “Ha! I actually made him bleed!” Kdin sighed loudly, but Miles continued, “And they say freshmen are weak!” He scoffed. “Not all of us are!”

“Michael, just walk over to us,” Gavin said, “Just walk away.”

“Yeah, Jones, just walk away,” Tim taunted. “Walk away and pretend like you'll never have to see us again.”

“You wouldn't hurt me on school grounds,” Michael told him.

“You wanna bet?”

“No, I don't have to, because I _know_ you won't,” he said, and then he looked at David, “Neither would you. You both act like you're fucking tough, but you're not.”

“Says the guy who was just up against that tree moments ago, hiding himself like a _scared little_ child,” Tim joked. “But I mean, I guess that's basically how you grew up, right?” Michael raised his eyebrows. He knew better than to let that get to him, but for some reason, at that moment, it did. Gavin could see that, too, so he walked up to Michael and grabbed his wrist as he snarled at Tim.

“So maybe he did grow up having a terrible life,” Gavin spoke, “but at least he's growing up to be mature, which is something you're obviously struggling with.”

“Something you're obviously struggling with,” David mocked, even using an obnoxiously fake British accent to do so. Tim laughed.

Gavin huffed and tried taking a step towards them, but Michael held him back, and then pulled him away to join the others.

“Go ahead,” Tim said, “Leave, but don't think we'll forget about this and move on.”

Michael said nothing as he just started walking off. Miles was rubbing his knuckles in an attempt to soothe them and Ray patted his back as they started to follow Michael. Kdin and Gavin stayed behind for only a moment to glare at Tim and David before they began to walk away as well.

* * *

 

“Where have you guys been?” Lindsay asked the second Ray, Gavin, and Michael walked through the front door.

“Where's Geoff and Griffon?” Gavin asked her as he completely ignored her question.

“Geoff had to go see Burnie about something and Griffon is outside, finishing up her project, but answer my question since I just answered yours.”

“Did they notice we were gone?”

“Yes, but I told them you were all at Kdin's, and I was ready to regret lying to them because I thought maybe something _really_ bad happened to you three.”

“Thanks for not letting them freak out,” Ray told her as he started walking up the stairs.

“Answer my question!” Lindsay begged, looking from Ray, to Gavin, and then to Michael. Michael merely shook his head as he ran his way up the steps, almost bumping into Ray on his way up.

Gavin waited until he heard a door slam before he looked at Lindsay and said, “Michael was in trouble, so we left to go help.” Lindsay gasped.

“What do you mean he was in trouble?” She asked.

“Some of his friends weren't really his friends,” Gavin explained, “And I knew that, so Ray, Miles, Kdin, and I went to go save him from them.” He got onto the staircase, but he didn't move when he heard Lindsay ask, “And you went without me?”

“I'm sorry,” Gavin told her, “I didn't want to bother you, since I knew you were with Barb.”

“But when one of us is in trouble, we should all know. I care about him, too.”

“Linds, I didn't mean to make you feel left out, and I definitely know you care about him.” Gavin shrugged. “You're the one who cared first.”

“I can't believe that happened. I mean, Chris always-”

“No,” Gavin stopped her. “It wasn't Chris. It wasn't Kyle or the football player; it was the other two bastards he hung out with.”

Lindsay sighed through her nose as she nodded. “Tim and David,” she said.

“Yep.”

“Well, with those two, I'm not surprised.” She looked down at her feet and Gavin placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I was worried about him and I just needed to get there as fast as I could,” he told her. Lindsay looked back up at him and nodded.

He smiled softly at her and went on to say, “If I'm being honest, I didn't want you to know, because I do understand how much you care about him, and I didn't want you worrying as much as I was.”

“I'm not a little girl, Gavin,” Lindsay reminded him, “I'm just as old as you are; you're just months older than me, but that doesn't count. So don't feel obligated to look after me. If shit's going on with one of you boys, I want to know, no matter how bad the situation is.”

Gavin's smile widened. “I'll keep that in mind. I'm sorry.”

“I'll forgive you this time,” Lindsay smirked at him.

 

* * *

 

Michael took a deep breath the moment he was inside the bedroom. He knew Ray would want to go inside as well, but he was surprised when no one else walked in right after him. Maybe Ray was going to give him some alone time? He hoped so.

“Stupid Gavin,” he mumbled to himself as he walked over to his bed. “What a fucking idiot.” And when the door opened and it was Gavin that entered, Michael loudly groaned.

“Get out,” he sternly said, trying his best not to yell.

“Why are you angry with _me_?” Gavin asked, “I'm not the one who pretended to be your friend only to beat your arse later for laughs.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“You don't understand, Gavin,” he answered bitterly.

“What don't I understand? The part where we saved you?”

“Yes!”

“What's there to understand other than what I already know?!”

“That you got into business you should have stayed out of!”

“So you wanted them to hurt you?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Michael nodded, “because all they would have done was beat me up and then they would have left me alone. But you know what you did? You just pissed them off more, so now they're not gonna fuck off until they know I've had enough or until I leave. So thanks, Gavin. Thanks for making things worse.” He turned around and pulled the bed sheets back so he could crawl in, but he remained standing there, because Gavin was still there.

“I only did it because I care about you,” the Brit said softly.

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael grumbled in response.

“We all care,” Gavin continued anyway, “You saw the way Miles jumped in front of you and punched one of them when he saw they were going to hurt you.”

Michael was starting to feel the tears prick at his eyes and he shook his head. “Just, shut up, Gavin.”

“I don't see the harm in trying to protect you-”

“I said _shut up_!” Michael screamed as he turned back around to look at Gavin. Gavin could see how red Michael's face was, but whether it was from anger or something else, Gavin couldn't tell, but he was able to tell that it was best if he just left Michael alone for now.

“Fine,” Gavin sighed, “I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I care about you.” With that, he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door gently behind him.

Michael sat down on the edge of his bed and ran his fingers through his hair, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. His forehead felt bruised and sore, and he couldn't even touch it without cringing; surely there was a huge bump there, but he didn't care to check.

“Stupid Gavin,” he choked out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also when editing this, i was listening to a fanvid in the background because i like the music that plays and how the voice overs sound with it, etc... and omg, the voice overs went with the last part of this chapter, especially with what Gavin was telling Michael, and omg. Yeah.


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just burning through these chapters aren't I? Lol, no. I actually think this will be the last chapter for a while now, because I want to work on a little something for Halloween. I don't know if I'll take an actual break from this fic, but if I do, it'll only last a month, but who knows. I could end up posting chapter 16 this week, because I do have a lot of inspiration for this fic. I was just really excited to write this chapter, so I hope you all enjoy it!!

After seeing Gavin rush down the hall and into his own bedroom, Ray worked up the courage to walk into the room. It was _his_ room, too. Michael was tugging at his hair in frustration, but he let go when he noticed Ray, and he sighed – so quietly that it was almost inaudible. 

“How are you feeling?” Ray asked him.

“I don't want to talk about it,” Michael grumbled in response.

“Oh, come on, Michael. Gavin was just looking out for you.”

“Yeah, yeah, because he _cares_ about me.”

Ray furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at Michael, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. “Gavin _does_ care about you, man. He wouldn't have bothered with what he did if he didn't care. How many people would just confront a pair of guys like that if they didn't care?”

Michael averted his eyes and shrugged. His fingers were twitching from wanting to pull or hit something – anything – but he resisted.

“Maybe you just don't get that,” Ray was speaking again, “but maybe one day you will.”

“I'm just really pissed off, Ray,” Michael told him, slowly looking back up at him.

“Why?”

“Because you guys got involved! You don't know what it means to get involved!” Perhaps it would have been better if Michael didn't yell, but it was difficult not to.

Although Ray was already getting an idea of what it could mean, he asked, “What does it mean, then?”

Michael huffed. “It means something can happen to you guys, _especially_ Miles, and I'm not comfortable knowing that.”

Ray frowned as he walked over to Michael and sat down next to him on the bed. Michael kept his gaze on the other side of the room, not wanting to make eye contact anymore.

“If anything happens, we'll take care of ourselves,” Ray assured him, “You don't have to worry.”

“You guys don't deserve any shit happening to you.”

“Yeah, you don't either, which is why we went there tonight.”

Michael crossed his arms and Ray placed a hand on his back.

“Okay, yeah it probably wasn't the smartest thing to just go out there without a plan,” Ray said, “but we needed to do something if it was really true that those guys were just fucking with you. So don't...” he took a deep breath, hoping his next sentence would be the right thing to say now, “Don't be mad at Gavin for wanting to protect you.” Michael squinted his eyes as he looked at him.

“Tell him not to waste his time trying to protect me.”

“Tell him yourself, because if I do, he won't stop,” Ray stood up and took a few steps away from Michael before something else came to mind. He turned back to the latter and added, “Then again, he probably still won't stop even if _you_ told him to.”

“Why not?”

“Because he's _Gavin_ ; he's annoying and he doesn't listen half the time.”

Michael could feel the corners of his mouth wanting to twitch up until he merely allowed himself to smile.

“Yeah,” he said, “he is fucking annoying.”

Ray nodded. “You're used to it, though, aren't you? I know I am. I mean, sure it took about three years after living here with him, but...” he trailed off and grinned when he saw Michael looking down and laughing softly.

Michael shook his head as he stopped laughing. “Well,” he spoke, “I've been living here for about three years now, so yeah, I'm getting there.”

“Good,” Ray turned back around and headed to the door, but before walking out, he said, “I'm going to get ready for bed, so if you need to use the bathroom, I'll be quick.” Receiving a nod from Michael, Ray left.

In the silence of the bedroom, Michael was able to think over that conversation. Gavin did care, and apparently, a lot.

“Stupid Gavin,” Michael said under his breath, although he meant it in the best way, and he even had to cover his face with his hands because he was a bit embarrassed at how much he was smiling.

 

* * *

 

Ray thought he had failed completely with his talk with Michael, because the next morning, at breakfast, he knew there was tension between Gavin and Michael. While Griffon was talking about a new sculpture she was close to finishing and Lindsay and Geoff listened intently, Michael and Gavin were eating silently and not daring to look anyone in the eye – especially not each other.

“I feel like this one has been the biggest challenge for me,” Griffon explained, “but of course I'm not going to give up. When I want something, I go for it, and I don't stop until I achieve it.”

Michael's eyebrows knitted together and Ray caught the way he glanced at Gavin before quickly looking down at his plate again. Ray blinked, he then looked at Gavin, then back at Michael, trying to figure out what exactly just happened there.

“I think I just fell more in love with you,” Geoff gushed at Griffon.

“Geoff, please,” Lindsay scolded, and the older man laughed.

“We should get going,” he told the kids as he stood up.

Lindsay nodded and got up from her chair to grab her backpack off the counter while Michael and Gavin hesitantly did the same, but their backpacks were resting by the front door. Ray watched them for a moment before he also stood up and followed them into the entryway.

“See you after school, Griffon,” he said to her as he placed his backpack's straps on his shoulders.

“Have a great day!” Lindsay called to her as well.

Michael just smiled at Griffon before walking out the door and Gavin only waved at her. Geoff told her his goodbye and the five of them began to head towards Geoff's car.

The car ride to school was much too quiet, but none of them did anything about it; they just sat through the silence. Ray was sat in between Michael and Gavin and the tension that radiated off them and onto him was unbearable. He kept shifting in his seat and tapping his fingers on his lap to distract himself, but he couldn't ignore that the two were still _there_ and not talking, or looking, at each other.

With the school building coming into view, Ray sighed in relief and felt himself relax. Lindsay hopped off the car from the passenger's seat first, and then Gavin and Michael both opened the doors they were sat next to and got out their separate ways. Ray sat there for a moment, looking both ways hesitantly. Michael closed his side, though, but Gavin kept his door open for Ray.

“Thanks, man,” Ray mumbled as he stepped out.

Gavin smiled at him. The four of them waved to Geoff and headed off into the school building. Gavin kept his eyes on Michael as he walked behind him, keeping a decent distance between them. Michael knew that, too, so he picked up his speed and ducked into a crowd the moment they stepped inside. Gavin searched the crowd frantically, but Michael was out of sight.

“I take it you two aren't okay,” Lindsay said as she stood next to the Brit.

Gavin frowned as he looked at her. “I'm not going to let him stay mad at me over this.”

“Give him time. You know how he is.”

“Yeah, but this isn't fair. I didn't do anything wrong.”

Ray was standing behind them as they talked and he idly thought about confessing to Gavin about the talk the night before, but he wasn't sure if it would be the right thing.

“He'll eventually understand that,” Lindsay assured Gavin. She wrapped an arm around him as they started to walk down the hall with Ray trailing behind them. “I don't think you should bother him, though.”

“I won't,” Gavin shook his head.

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at him and he continued shaking his head.

“Since I know you will, anyway, at least try not to be obnoxious,” she told him.

“Am I ever obnoxious?” Gavin asked her and Ray laughed a little too loudly at that. Gavin shot him a glare over his shoulder and sighed.

“Maybe a little,” Lindsay whispered, smiling innocently.

Michael had continued walking until he got to his locker, and waiting there for him was Chris – a very worried Chris.

“We know,” was the first thing to come out of his mouth when Michael was face-to-face with him.

Michael raised an eyebrow, but he did know what Chris was referring to. With a shrug, he turned to his locker and started putting in his combination.

“Kyle and Blaine are pissed,” Chris went on, “Blaine texted me this morning to tell me, but then he just called me. I haven't heard him yell so much in... well, I don't think I've ever heard that mad before.”

Michael licked his lips and pulled out his English textbook and closed his locker.

“I had no idea they secretly hated you,” Chris added, “but I don't. I am really your friend. You know that, right? Michael-”

“Yeah, Chris,” Michael cut him off, “I know. It's fine. I'm not mad at you or Kyle, or Blaine.”

Chris smiled at him. “Good, because they worried you'd think we were part of that stupid plan, too.”

“I know you're better than that.”

“Oh, well...” Chris smiled more as he looked down at his feet and Michael rolled his eyes as he smiled as well.

That smile faltered as he spotted Gavin walking with Lindsay and Ray. He had tried getting away from them but there they were again. Gavin squinted his eyes as he stared at Michael, half listening to what Lindsay was saying, but it really didn't matter, because Lindsay was just explaining to Ray something about his math teacher.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to look away from Gavin. “I'll talk to you later,” he said to Chris before heading off in the other direction.

Gavin scoffed at the sight. “I have to go do something,” he said to Lindsay and Ray.

“If it's going after Michael,” Lindsay started, but she was stopped right there.

“It is,” Gavin interrupted her to say.

“Don't be pushy,” Lindsay begged.

Gavin smirked at her. “No promises.” With that, he hurried in the direction that Michael left in. He could see the curly haired boy aiming towards the restroom, so Gavin quickened his steps until he was only a few feet from him.

Michael pushed opened the restroom door, relieved to find that this particular one was currently empty. He walked over to one of the sinks but didn't even get to do anything when he heard someone else burst in.

“This is ridiculous,” Gavin said to Michael and Michael had to resist the urge to smile because it was amusing to hear that kind of tone from the Brit, “You're really going to stay mad at me for doing what I did? Michael, I could understand if I was the one who betrayed you, but I just tried to help!” That tone was like a mixture of anger and desperation.

Michael shook his head and turned away a little so that his expression couldn't be seen in the mirror. That just received an irritated sound from the blond.

“What can I do to make it up to you, then?” Gavin asked, “Because I don't like this. I don't like you being angry with me.” Still no response. “Well, can you at least do me a favor and turn around? It's like I'm talking to a brick wall.”

And Michael couldn't hold back his smile any longer, which was also why he refused to turn around now. Last night, after his talk with Ray, Michael went to bed feeling more relieved about what happened. In the morning, though, he couldn't bring himself to speak to Gavin. It wasn't because he was still mad, because he wasn't, but because Ray's words kept going through his mind. Did Gavin care only because Michael lived at the Ramsey's and he felt the need to care for everyone in the household? Did he care because he was starting to really find a friend in Michael? Or... was there a possibility that there was something more?

“Michael!” Gavin shouted, the desperation gone and anger full in action. “ _Look_ at me!” Michael grinned as he turned around. He could see the confusion start to form on Gavin's face, but without saying a word, he just cupped Gavin's face and pressed his lips against the other's. Gavin rose his eyebrows and widened his eyes, unsure of how to react. He just stood there, stiffened, and trying to decide what to do with his hands. He didn't even realize when Michael pulled away, but when he did, he just saw Michael continuing to grin at him.

Gavin swallowed hard, though he didn't get to say anything, because Michael walked around him and headed out of there quickly.

What was Gavin supposed to even say or do about that? Had Michael really just kissed him, or had he imagined the whole thing? Why would he want to imagine something like that, though?

Gavin could hear the bell ring, but it took him a moment to drag himself out of there. Why a kiss? He didn't indicate that he wanted a kiss, or anything of the sort; it didn't make any sense.

The Brit walked to his locker and started unlocking it, but he wasn't sure if he was even turning the lock the right ways. His mind was too occupied with the thought of freckles up close and soft lips on his. Yeah, Michael's lips were soft... and surprisingly, the kiss had been so gentle... and sweet.

Gavin blinked hard and shook his head. It was just one dumb little kiss, one that Michael gave him because he knew Gavin would react the way he was acting now. Maybe it was to throw him off over something, but either way, Gavin couldn't stop replaying it over and over in his head.

He opened his locker and pulled out the specific textbook he needed, trying so desperately to forget about the kiss.

“Hurry up, Gav,” he heard Kdin say, “You're gonna be late, and unfortunately, so am I.” Gavin looked at him and forced a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I'm hurrying now,” he said as he closed his locker and practically took off down the hallway with Kdin. He almost wanted to tell Kdin about what happened, but then decided that was something that needed to stay between him and Michael.

They barely made it into their class on time but still managed to get a glare from their teacher. Ignoring that, they headed for their seats, which were on opposite sides of the classroom. Gavin sat down with a huff and rubbed his face, but he paused for a moment.

Michael didn't even say anything before he...

Gavin gently touched his own lips. Kdin looked at him from the other side of the room and raised an eyebrow at him, but the Brit didn't notice him. Gavin put his hand down and tried paying attention to his teacher as the older woman started to speak.

This was going to be a long day.

 

* * *

 

“I can kill them for you,” Blaine said to Michael as they, Kyle, and Chris headed towards a different table than their usual at lunch.

“I can help,” Kyle said.

“I can laugh,” Chris added and Michael smiled at him.

“Thanks guys, but I don't want to end up helping with burying the bodies,” Michael told them as they sat down.

“We'll have that covered, don't worry,” Blaine assured him.

“All you'll have to do is sit back at home and be your pretty self,” Kyle winked at him.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows at the word 'home', but he just sighed and started eating his lunch.

“Do you think aliens would come to Texas first?” Miles asked Gavin, Ray, and Kdin as they ate their food a few tables away from Michael. “Or, at least, somewhere dry?”

“Aren't you a little too old to be thinking about aliens?” Kdin asked him.

Miles snorted. “You're never too old for aliens. You need to be prepared; they can strike at any time.”

“Miles, grow up,” Ray told him.

“No. Growing up is boring and I refuse to be boring.”

“Not to mention it comes with a lot of stress,” Kdin mumbled.

“Exactly! Why would I want to be a part of that kind of stress?” Miles asked them.

Meanwhile, Gavin was quiet as he kept eying Michael every now and so and mindlessly twirling his spaghetti with his plastic fork. He didn't want to be thinking this over again, but it was all that kept coming to mind, and it wouldn't leave him alone. The long was proving to be longer.

He kept finding himself dozing off in every class, and in the class he shared with Lindsay, she had to snap her fingers in front of his face, because repeatedly calling out his name wasn't enough. And she asked him what was going on with him, but Gavin couldn't bare to tell her. He was afraid of what she would say or think – not that he assumed it would be negative, but knowing Lindsay, she would end up making him question everything even more. That was the last thing he wanted.

He heard Ray laugh and say, “Yeah, don't grow up, kids. It's stressful and boring. Just don't it.” And he kind of laughed at it, but then he glanced at Michael again and this time, Michael noticed.

Gavin held his breath as they made eye contact. He hadn't meant to get Michael's attention, but he should have expected it to happen with how many times he kept looking over at him.

Michael scratched the top of his head and smiled before looking away, and all Gavin could think was how that was one of the cutest things Michael had ever done.

And when he realized what he was thinking, his eyes widened.

Well, he wasn't wrong and he knew he wasn't, but that's what was making his heart begin to beat a little faster. Michael _was_ cute, _very_ cute, but how long ago had Gavin realized that? Or had he only realized that _just_ now because he was having an internal conflict about the kiss?

Either way, Gavin cursed under his breath as he took out his phone.

“How did you guys figure out what happened anyway?” Michael asked his friends after looking away from Gavin.

“Tim told me,” Kyle explained, “I was texting him since I got him yesterday and then, out of nowhere, he stopped replying. I didn't care, because I figured he just got busy or something, but then he texted me again around ten and said, 'We have to do something about Michael. We're done with him.' At that point, I was confused, so I asked him what the hell he meant by that, and he told me everything.” He shook his head as he thought back more to his text conversation.

“I actually think I started shaking from how angry I was at him and David, and also pissed at that he actually thought I was going to do whatever he said.”

“Yeah, that's stupid,” Blaine said.

“I texted Blaine about it in the morning,” Kyle went on, “And then he called Chris.” Chris nodded.

“So you're telling me that fucking idiot tried getting you three against me?” Michael asked.

“ _Tried_ , but failed,” Blaine clarified.

“If I'm being honest, I never really liked them,” Chris said, “I only stayed in this group because I liked you three.”

“Yeah, they were starting to get on my nerves,” Blaine admitted.

Michael jumped a bit at the sudden vibration in his pocket, but none of his friends noticed. He dug out his phone to find a new message from Gavin.

> **Gavin: Why did you do that?**

Michael couldn't help but smile slightly as he typed in his reply.

> **Michael: What are you talking about?**
> 
> **Gavin: Don't pretend like you don't know.**

Michael bit down on his lower lip, debating on what he should say.

> **Michael: Because you're cute when you're mad.**

“Oh,” Gavin said under his breath while his cheeks began to heat up. He looked at his friends, but they were distracted by Miles demonstrating his theory about aliens. Looking back down at his phone, he quickly replied.

> **Gavin: That doesn't give you a reason to kiss me.**

Michael frowned as he read the message, feeling some guilt begin to rise up in him. Maybe kissing Gavin in that moment wasn't his best choice, but it felt right, and Michael just hadn't been able to resist any longer.

> **Michael: You're right. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself, especially since I've been wanting to do that for a while now. I won't do it again.**

He looked over at Gavin as he pressed 'send' to see the blond's reaction. Gavin sighed, but Michael couldn't tell if it was from relief or something else, though he did see the way Gavin's face was getting redder by the second.

Gavin sat up and swallowed roughly as he typed in his next response. He didn't want Michael to feel bad over the kiss. It meant nothing and they could get passed it, couldn't they? Yes, he was confident they could.

> **Gavin: Don't be sorry. I just wanted to know why. :)**

Michael furrowed his eyebrows as he read the message, not sure where to go from there, so he didn't reply and merely put his phone back into his pocket. He picked his fork back up to begin eating again, but then another message came in. With a low groan, he took the phone back out.

> **Gavin: We're friends, yeah?**

Michael stared long and hard at the message until he sighed softly.

“You okay, Michael?” He heard Chris ask.

“Yeah,” he replied quietly, “I'm great.” He looked up at Gavin who was staring back at him, then looked back down at his phone to reply.

> **Michael: Sure.**

Gavin frowned at how unenthusiastic the message sounded, but if that was the best he was getting, then fine. He put his phone away and just focused on finishing his lunch. Maybe now he could stop thinking about the kiss.

 


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay, I don't think I could take a real break from this. I love writing it too much.

Michael grabbed his beanie from his locker and stuffed it onto his head before slamming the locker door shut. His eyes felt sore and he could have sworn that if he just closed his eyes for a moment, he could easily fall asleep standing there.

He wouldn't normally get much sleep, but for the past few days, it had gotten worse. Ever since that night of the confrontation, sleep had been more of a challenge. It was bad enough only getting up to five hours of sleep every night, but barely getting three to none was a nightmare.

He couldn't really help it, though; it had to do with Tim and David and the worry of what those idiots were going to do to him – or worse, to Miles, Gavin, Ray, and Kdin. The two hadn't even acknowledged him at school, so Michael was stressing himself out over nothing, but he figured that's what the two wanted. They wanted Michael to be paranoid as he waited for them to strike, that way he would be too exhausted to do anything once they did.

But Tim and David weren't the only ones on Michael's mind every night.

“I have something for you,” a sweet voice said from next to him. Michael blinked hard and turned to find Lindsay standing there, holding up two cups of coffee. She held out one of the cups and Michael sighed before accepting it.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

As he lifted it up to his mouth, Lindsay said, “Man, you look terrible.” And he paused from taking a sip to raise an eyebrow at her.

Lindsay laughed. “I just mean you deserve a day's worth of sleep.”

“Oh, don't worry, I'm not offended,” Michael assured her before taking that sip of his coffee. He licked licked his lips and frowned. “Yeah, a day's worth of sleep; I would love that.”

“Maybe listening to some music in bed can help you. I've heard there's a specific type you should listen to, though.”

“Nah, I'll be fine.”

“Fine?” Lindsay raised her eyebrows. “Michael, you can barely keep your eyes open in class. I had to wake you up about ten times yesterday in Biology. You're lucky we weren't doing any labs, otherwise that would have been a mess.” She was going to say more on that, but then she saw the way Michael was rubbing his eyes with his free hand, so her expression softened as she said instead, “Don't let them get to you, because we all have your back, so stop letting them ruin your sleep.”  
“That's the thing,” Michael said as he put his hand down, “I don't want any of you to have my back. I wish you guys would just let me deal with this on my own.”

“I know, I know. I told Gavin repeatedly to give you a break, and I've seen how you two have been really _fidgety_ around each other ever since,” Michael's eyes widened at that, but Lindsay didn't notice, so she kept talking, “I'm sorry if he said anything that may have annoyed you. He meant well, I'm sure of that. But I mean, he's giving you a break now, right? Again, you two look like you'd do anything to avoid each other, and I don't know what that's all about, but I hope it doesn't last. For a moment there, you both looked like you were really becoming great friends.”

Michael averted his eyes. The bell rang and he jumped at the sound, almost spilling his coffee.

Lindsay smiled softly at him. “I'll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, uh, thanks for the coffee,” Michael told her. He turned to leave for class when he saw Gavin standing nearby, indulged in whatever was on his phone. Michael sighed and started walking towards him, or rather, towards class.

Gavin looked up from his phone to see Michael before he walked right passed him. “Michael,” he practically choked out.

Michael hesitated, but he did stop walking and turned to Gavin. “... Gavin,” he sounded more confident and serious than Gavin had.

Gavin opened his mouth to say something, especially since he noticed exactly how dark the circles under Michael's eyes were, but all he ended up doing was simply smiling at him. Michael hardly returned it before walking off. The blond rolled his eyes and lifted his phone back up to look at what he had been previously reading: _Sure._

That one word was so taunting. 

Gavin  _wanted_ to be friends with Michael, but neither of them had been making an effort in doing so. Part of it was his fault, because every time he tried talking to Michael, it would end with nothing. Every time he looked at Michael, the kiss would come back to mind, and it would make his palms sweaty and his heart to beat faster. Every time he thought of Michael, he would be left smiling so much that his cheeks would start hurting. It was ridiculous. Where the hell did all of these thoughts and feelings come from? From a simple little kiss? One kiss was able to make Gavin question how he looked at Michael? It appeared so. 

He wanted to be friends with Michael, but he didn't know where or how to start, or if that's all he really wanted. He also figured it probably wasn't wise to bother Michael, though, because he knew Michael hadn't been sleeping well, and he knew perfectly well why. 

Gavin sighed as he started heading to class. Maybe he would think of something.

* * *

 

“Chris told me I'd find you here,” Kyle said as he walked up to Michael in the library.

Michael was just sitting at an empty table, head resting on his hand and eyes barely open, but he looked up at his friend.

“I wasn't hungry, so I came in here instead,” he told Kyle. It was also nice that since it was still the beginning of lunch, almost no one was in there, so it was more peaceful than usual, and Michael really needed a quiet place.

Kyle nodded as he sat down in front of Michael, “Are you gonna tell me you're not sleepy either?” Michael narrowed his eyes at him and Kyle smiled apologetically at him.

“Talk to me,” Kyle then said as he leaned closer, “Tell me every little thing that's on your mind, because you look like you're about to lose it.”

“You know what's on my mind, Kyle. I don't need to fucking tell you what you already know.”

“Okay, but you need to do _something_ ,” Kyle said as he raised his fist, but only because he was going to use his fingers to count, “You aren't sleeping, you aren't paying attention in class, which you weren't really before, but it's even worse now, and uh... oh! You're not eating,” he had three fingers up and he held them in front of Michael's face, “That's three big things that are wrong with you.”

“I eat, though,” Michael said as he moved Kyle's hand away from his face, “Mostly just dinner, but I do eat.”

“Okay, then you're not eating _enough_ , but let's get back to the sleeping part.”

Michael groaned. “I already had this talk with Lindsay this morning; I don't need a stupid lecture on how to get better.”

“Yeah, you're right,” Kyle agreed with a nod, “You don't. What you do _need_ is to relax, Michael. I mean, why is this bothering you so much? I get that they're creeps and threats would make me uneasy, too, but it's _consuming_ you, and that's scaring me, Blaine, and Chris. I have no doubt it's probably scaring Lindsay, too, _and_ everyone else that's your friend.”

Michael blinked and rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away from Kyle's gaze. “It's not... consuming me,” he said quietly, like a small child that tried to pretend he didn't do what he was just accused of. 

“Michael,” Kyle sounded pleading, so Michael looked him in the eye again, “Just... _try_ to sleep tonight. Do whatever it takes, okay? This isn't healthy.”

“It's not just them that's making it hard for me to sleep,” Michael told him.

Kyle raised his eyebrows. “Then what else is it?” He asked. “I'll help you as best as I can.”

“You can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Kyle,” Michael sighed deeply and shook his head, “Because it's my life. My whole _life_ is my problem; they're just adding to it.” 

Kyle practically pouted at Michael from not knowing what to say, but feeling horrible from what Michael just told him. 

Michael smiled weakly at him, though, as he said, “You can't help something that's already been fucked with way too many times, and even if you tried, the marks would still be there.” His smile faltered slowly and he was quiet for a moment as he seemed to be thinking about something. Then he spoke again, “Because bad memories are just easier to remember.”

Kyle sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, but he stared at Michael with the most concerned look Michael had ever seen on him.

* * *

 

Seeing that it was a nice day and they really had nothing better to do, Ray and Miles ditched the bus and decided to take a walk after school. Ray made sure to text Griffon and let her know where he would be and after receiving a reply, the two friends headed for the park.

“You know how your birthday's coming up?” Miles asked, a grin on his face that he wouldn't be able to stop even if he tried.

Ray rolled his eyes. “Yeah. _What about it_?” He raised his eyebrows and pretended to be excited.

“Oh, you know, just thought we should throw around some ideas on how to celebrate.” Miles nudged Ray as he started to wink at him.

“Dude, is there something wrong with your eye?” Ray asked him and Miles scoffed, making Ray laugh.

“I just wanted to suggest some fun things we could do for you becoming a year older,” Miles told him. “Every year should be celebrated in different ways.”

“And why different ways? Why not go traditional?”

“Oh, please. You know it's much more fun when things get changed up a bit.”

The boys saw the park come into view and kept their eyes on the empty picnic table near the swings. They just gave each other a knowing look before picking up their speed to get to it first. A few kids were around with their parents, but the parents were already sitting somewhere else, so the table was definitely not going to get occupied in the time it took the two to get there.

“I don't like change,” Ray then said, going back to the conversation, “It's never been my thing.”

“That's stupid, because you have changed some things about yourself,” Miles retorted.

“Oh yeah? Please, elaborate on what I've changed about myself.”

“Well, sh-” Miles paused and pursed his lips as he tried coming up with some examples. Ray squinted his eyes as he looked at his friend, but he was amused at the struggling look upon Miles' face.

“Yeah,” Ray nodded, “ _exactly_.” He turned his attention back to the table and saw they weren't too far from it now, especially with the fact that they returned to their normal speed.

“No, no!” Miles shook his head. “Okay, I got one!”

“Alright, do tell.”

“Okay! You've changed the way you dress! Ha! There you go.” Miles sounded so proud of that, and it even showed by the way he crossed his arms and smirked.

Ray halted in his tracks and blinked at him. “What?” He asked.

“The way you dress,” Miles repeated while also gesturing towards Ray's outfit, “it's different.”

Ray looked down to see the clothes he was wearing, and then he glared at Miles. “Of course it's different,” he answered, “You really expect me to wear the same clothes for more than five years? Man, I grew up a little bit, and I even got a little taller. I was bound to get new clothes.”

“Yeah, well... yeah... well-”

“Case closed,” Ray laughed as he waved Miles off.

Miles sighed and nodded. They started walking again but they noticed they were too late; the table was now taken by a woman. Of course it was just one woman, but the boys didn't feel comfortable sitting there if she was.

“Damnit,” Miles muttered under his breath.

The woman had her back to them, but they could hear her laughing, and she sounded delusional, too. Ray nudged Miles and nodded towards the playground, because getting away from this woman seemed like the best thing to do. Miles agreed and they began their way towards the swings. Ray looked over at the woman and the further they walked from the table at the angle they were going in, the better he could see her face, and her face was... familiar.

“Oh, shit,” Ray breathed out as he stopped walking.

Miles had kept on walking and it took him until he was at least ten steps away from Ray when he noticed Ray was no longer next to him. He turned around and threw his hands up to see Ray merely standing.

“What's going on?” Miles asked.

Ray tore his gaze away from the woman and stared at Miles instead. Miles' expression changed to one of concern when he saw how wide Ray's eyes were. He quickly closed the gap between them and was ready to ask what was wrong again when Ray cut him off by pointing at the woman.

“That's... that's my mom,” Ray whispered, sounding as though he could barely speak.

Now Miles widened his eyes as he looked at the woman who was still sitting down and giggling, but he could see that she wasn't actually laughing by herself; she was on the phone.

“That's... really?” He asked Ray.

Ray sighed. “I couldn't forget that face. And believe me, I've tried.” He and Miles both jumped as they heard the woman speak – loudly, too.

“Oh, isn't that wonderful?” The woman asked whoever she was on the phone with, but what was particularly interesting about her question was how slurred her words were.

Miles looked at Ray to say something, but then he noticed the defeated look on his face.

“She's drunk,” Ray blandly stated. Miles frowned and placed a comforting hand on Ray's shoulder, but Ray wouldn't look at him. “She's drunk like she always was,” the fact that Ray's tone was so dull made Miles feel even worse.

“Let's just go,” Miles finally managed to say.

When Ray made no effort to move, Miles attempted to drag him away by grabbing his arm, though Ray pulled his arm away immediately.

“Ray, we shouldn't be around her,” Miles told him.

“I just-”

“No, you just nothing. Come on, let's go. We'll go to my place and play some games or whatever you wanna do. Let's just _please_ not be here anymore. It's not good for you, Ray, and I say this-”

“Miles,” Ray cut him off as he looked back to him, “I know. Yeah, I know, okay? I'm just... I guess I'm in shock or something. I haven't seen her in so long and I _can't_ believe I'm seeing her now.”

Miles nodded. Ray took a deep breath and glanced back at the woman again, but just as he was going to walk off with Miles, the woman looked over and spotted the two boys. Miles and Ray froze under the her gaze, especially when she hung up on the person she had been talking to and stood up.

“Oh man, let's run,” Miles suggested as he grabbed Ray's hand, but Ray was still too frozen to move.

Ms. Narvaez tilted her head as a small smile appeared on her face.

“Why are you two staring at me?” She asked, her words less slurred. Apparently she wasn't as intoxicated as the boys had previously thought.

Ray's eyebrows twitched together and Miles' jaw dropped open slowly as he let go of Ray's hand. Realizing that Ray wasn't going to say anything, Miles closed his mouth for a moment and forced a smile on his face.

“We heard you laughing and being the _kids_ we are, we were _curious_ as to why,” Miles told her, his sarcasm so evident, but Ms. Narvaez didn't seem to notice.

“My friend,” she answered as she held up her phone, “quite the comedian.”

“Ohhh,” Miles nodded as he raised his eyebrows, “That's... yeah, that's... cool,” he said that last word so slowly, like he wasn't sure if that was the word he wanted to really use.

Ray sighed loudly and crossed his arms.

Ms. Narvaez pouted at him. “What seems to be the problem with you?” She asked Ray.

“Oh, jeez,” Miles whispered as he looked down.

Ray bit down hard on his lower lip before he could reply to her with, “Nothing, absolutely _nothing_.”

The woman took a few steps forward and the boys took a few back. “You,” she spoke, pointing at Ray, “you can't fool _me_. I can sense when someone is upset.”

Ray let a loud laugh and Miles glared at him for doing so. He looked questioningly at Ray, but Ray ignored him.

“Oh, I'm _sure_ you could tell when someone is upset,” Ray told Ms. Narvaez, nodding and smiling so forcefully, and _angrily_. It was the kind of smile Miles had never seen on Ray's – or anyone's – face before, and it was a bit scary.

“I can,” Ms. Narvaez answered, her smile looking sweet.

Ray's smile slowly disappeared from his face and was replaced with a scowl.

“So, tell me,” he spoke, “tell me why you couldn't tell when _I_ was upset?”

“Ray!” Miles hissed through his clenched teeth. Ray still didn't look at him, though, so Miles just sighed in defeat and looked at the woman instead.

Ms. Narvaez had her mouth open as if trying to coming up with something to say, but she appeared to be much too confused to say anything at all. Miles and Ray watched as that confusion transitioned into realization in mere moments.

“Ray,” she finally said.

 


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only a hint of bullying here. Also, I think a song that goes by the name of "Happening" by Olivia Broadfield really fits this chapter well, at least towards the end it does. :)

The hall was completely empty as Michael made his way down the hallway. He had excused himself to use the restroom, but it was really just to get out of class, because being near everyone was becoming too much, especially with how tired he was. He sighed in relief as he saw the male's restroom door come into view. His plan was to go in there, splash his face with water, stall time, and then drag his way back to his place. It was a solid plan and he figured it would keep him awake long enough to endure the last twenty minutes of class.

“Michael,” and Michael froze, but not from the sound of his name, but from the voice saying it.

Michael looked over his shoulder to find Tim walking towards him.

“I was wondering what took you so long,” he said, hoping he sounded intimidating even though he was exhausted.

“Just waiting for the right moment,” Tim said, the corners of his lips curling up.

“You _couldn't_ have picked a better one.”

“I know, right? I mean, look at you,” Tim gestured up and down, “You can barely stand still; you're like swaying, and the color under your eyes are darker than any bruise I've ever had.”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows, because if that was supposed to be an insult, it wasn't good at all.

“You're barely functioning, aren't you?” Tim asked.

“I can... _do_ things,” Michael answered, laughing a bit.

“Alright then, let's go,” Tim said as he started closing the space between them, “because I have a lot to take out on you.”

Michael curled his fingers into fists, but he couldn't even move step forward, because arms wrapped around him and held him back. He saw Tim's devious grin before he saw the wall up close as he was thrown towards it. Holding his hands in front of him stopped himself from hurting his face, and he turned around quickly to see David and Tim staring at him with smug looks. His eyes were _begging_ him to close, especially since he had turned around a little too fast, and now his head was starting to pound.

David was popping his knuckles as Tim crossed his arms and laughed to himself.

“Just do it,” Michael said to David, “I've got nothing to lose.”

“That's true,” David spoke, “You seriously have nothing. Your parents? Yeah, they didn't give a shit about you. They only kept you because their parents made them, otherwise, you wouldn't be here right now.”

Michael blinked, feeling his eyes become a bit watery from how that statement actually got to him.

“And those other people who tell you they care,” Tim was speaking now, “they don't really care, Michael. The British kid; do you really think he would care about you? He has his own problems to worry about.” Michael averted his eyes and he could feel the two gaining up on him.

“Nobody cares, Michael,” David said, his tone filled with such fake sympathy that Michael didn't know whether to be pissed or hurt, “And they're going to continue to not care about the sad little boy who had, not one, but _two_ parents push him around.”

Michael could feel a tear roll down his face and he just wanted to close his eyes.

“Do you have anything to say to that?” Tim (or was it David?) asked.

Michael's eyelids felt heavy as he tried looking up at them.

“Come on, Michael,” he couldn't tell who was talking now, “Michael. Hey, Michael,” but their voice was getting more distant the more they talked. “Michael... Michael...”

Michael finally opened his eyes to find himself lying on the couch in the living room. He looked up to find Griffon smiling down at him.

“Sweetie, I'm so sorry to wake you up, but dinner's ready, if you're hungry,” she said.

Michael let out a sigh as he nodded, and Griffon walked away from him to go back into the kitchen with the others. Except for Lindsay.

“Looks like you got _some_ sleep,” she said to him from over the couch.

Michael rubbed his eyes and sat up. “How long?” He asked.

“A little over an hour.”

Michael bit down on his lower lip. A little over an hour wasn't even close to being enough, but it was a start, and if that was best he was going to get, then fine. He could deal with that for now. He went ahead and dragged himself off the couch as he followed the redhead into the kitchen were Gavin, Griffon, and Geoff already were.

Since Ray wasn't there, there were two empty seats next to Gavin on his left, and one empty seat on his right, but Lindsay quickly sat down there. Michael tilted his head slightly as he stared at the two empty seats; he was either going to end up sitting next to Geoff, or next to Gavin. Gavin looked at him for a bit, but he turned away before they could actually make eye contact.

Michael sighed softly as he sat down in the chair right next to the Brit. He smiled at Geoff as the older man placed a plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of him. They all began to eat in peaceful silence – Geoff devouring everything on his plate like he would never have another meal again, Griffon almost doing the exact thing (it was just meant to be with those two), Michael was just trying to eat without passing out on the table which only results in him eating in a messy and lazy manner, then there was Lindsay who was probably the only one eating properly and slowly, and Gavin was just hardly eating at all.

“So, has school gotten better for any of you?” Geoff asked after wiping his mouth with his napkin.

The three kids looked up at him, but Gavin and Michael shrugged, then they both looked at each other because they had done it at the same time.

“Eh,” Lindsay answered with a small smile, “it's school. It never really changes.”

Michael forced himself to look away from Gavin as he put in his input, “Yeah, it's like going through life on repeat as you walk down those hallways.”

“It can't be _that_ bad,” Griffon told them.

“Well, how was high school for you?” Lindsay asked her.

Griffon opened her mouth to respond, but then she furrowed her eyebrows as she thought back to it.

“You know what, you're right, Michael,” she said.

Michael grinned crookedly and stabbed a meatball with his fork. Gavin absentmindedly watched him do so and how he actually attempted to stuff the whole piece of meat into his mouth, but of course, that was proven difficult and Michael was left with just half of in his mouth and the other half still on the fork. Gavin blinked hard, realizing that he was staring, though before he could look away completely, he noticed some sauce smudged on the side of Michael's mouth. He grabbed a clean napkin and casually began to wipe it off for Michael, but Michael tensed up and glared at him.

Gavin stopped his actions and slowly put his back down. “I shouldn't have done that,” he admitted as he looked away.

Michael licked his lips. “Gav, it's fine,” he said, “I mean, it's better than telling someone, 'hey, you got something on your face', right?”

Gavin couldn't even tell if Michael was being sarcastic or not, so he knitted his eyebrows together as he faced him again.

“I... don't know,” he replied.

Geoff laughed at that and shook his head. “Gavin, he meant-” but he silenced himself and they all turned their attention to the front door as someone walked in.

“Oh, hey Ray,” Lindsay greeted him.

“I figured you were going to eat at Miles' place,” Griffon said as she started to stand up.

“I did,” Ray answered her before she could go and serve him a plate, “They just eat earlier at his place and I didn't want to stay out too late, so I left right after we finished.”

Griffon sat back down and smiled at him, “Did you have a good time?”

That little hint of a smile that was previously there on Ray's face seemed to disappear completely with the question. He simply nodded his response and headed upstairs. Michael was the only one to notice that, because when he looked back at everyone, they had all gone back to minding their own business. He felt like going up there and asking Ray if everything was okay, but then he decided it was best to try and finish his food first.

He, Gavin, and Lindsay were getting ready to clean up once their plates were emptied, but Geoff told them to stop, that he would take care of it. Michael started walking towards the stairs and Gavin quickly went after him.

“Michael,” he called.

Michael turned around and raised his eyebrows at him. “What, are you gonna say more than just my name this time?”

Gavin breathed out a laugh. “Of course I am,” though he pursed his lips because all he knew was that he wanted to talk to Michael, but he wasn't sure what things would be okay to talk about. “So much for being friends; we haven't talked much since... well...” he trailed off and Michael sighed.

“I've been busy,” he said softly.

“Busy? With not sleeping?”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Don't start with that,” he said bitterly.

“You just... you look... not yourself.”

“Really? Does lack of sleep really make me that unappealing to everyone?” There was a sense of playfulness in Michael's voice as he asked that and it made Gavin laugh a bit.

“No, you donut,” he said as he stepped closer to Michael, and when Michael smiled at him, Gavin felt his heart flutter gently in his chest.

“Then maybe everyone should leave me alone about it,” Michael told him, but as he tried turning away, Gavin grabbed his face.

Gavin did that without much thought, because he just didn't want Michael leaving yet, and somehow, grabbing his face seemed better than grabbing him by the arm.

Michael's eyes widened slightly and Gavin tried not looking shocked by what he had just done; he wanted it to look like he had meant to do that.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Gavin caressed Michael's cheeks with his thumbs and said, “I think... I think everyone won't leave you alone about it, because we... we want you to get better.” Then he held his breath as he felt Michael seem to almost _lean_ into his touch for a moment.

“Do you want me to try and sleep right now?” Michael asked.

Gavin let out the breath and nodded. He watched as Michael gently grabbed him by his wrists and put his hands down from his face.

Gavin pulled his wrists free and crossed his arms as he nodded again and said, “It wouldn't hurt to try.”

“I have to finish my homework first,” Michael told him.

“I thought you do your homework the second you get hom-”

“Here, yeah,” Michael cut him off, “I do, but today I only got to half of it before my head started hurting like a bitch. So, I decided to finish it after dinner, which I'm going to go do now.” He turned towards the stairs and Gavin let him go this time.

Michael couldn't help but smile when he was at the top of the staircase. He headed towards the room and kept his hand on the doorknob as he remembered about Ray. He pressed the side of his head against the door to see if he could hear anything, but there was nothing but silence that came from the other side. He opened the door and walked in to find Ray staring down at his phone, but the younger lad quickly locked the device and set on the nightstand when he saw Michael.

“Hey, Michael,” Ray sounded a little off to Michael, but it wasn't much to make Michael question him.

“Hi,” Michael greeted back, giving him a small smile. He closed the door and made his way over to his bed, though he could feel Ray's eyes on him.

“Is there a reason you're staring at me?” Michael asked him.

Ray shook his head. “I'm not staring. I just spaced out or something.”

Michael glanced at him, but Ray looked like he always did – uninterested, but friendly; nothing out of the ordinary there.

Michael just shrugged it off and sat down to finish up his homework while Ray started to do the same. Michael kept stopping, though, to rub his temples, because his head was _not_ letting him concentrate on anything long enough. That also stopped him from noticing the way Ray kept checking his phone so frequently. 

 

* * *

 

9:50 PM...

 

10:23 PM...

 

10:40 PM...

 

11:30 PM...

 

Michael looked over at Ray to see him fast asleep and curled up on his own bed like nothing in the world could possibly disturb him.

“Lucky you,” Michael mumbled before getting out of bed. 

He took one step out of his room and halted right there when he saw Gavin walking out of the bathroom. The blond looked over and saw him, making him stop moving as well. 

He was going to smile at Michael until he noticed the same tired look on his face, so he frowned instead, and asked, “Still can't sleep?”

“I think I drifted off for like twenty minutes or something,” Michael told him. 

Gavin nodded. He started walking again back to his room when he noticed Michael wasn't moving from his spot.

“Do you want to, maybe, come to my room?” 

Michael looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Why would I?”

Gavin shrugged, then he smiled softly, “When I was younger and I couldn't sleep, my mum would let me sleep in her bed. Sometimes the comfort of being with someone else helps.”

“You want me to sleep with you?” 

Gavin could feel heat rise to his cheeks with that question, but he did nod. “Because sleep is all we're going to be doing,” he assured Michael. 

Michael squinted his eyes at him, “We're not little kids, Gavin, and I don't need your help to get to sleep.”

“You're right. It probably only works on kids.” The Brit turned to his bedroom door and opened it, but before he walked in, he sent Michael one more look. 

That look was enough to make Michael walk over to him and follow him inside. Michael closed the door behind them. He stood there, merely staring at the door until he forced himself to turn and look at Gavin.

“I don't know why I'm here,” he admitted and he saw Gavin open his mouth to speak, so he kept talking instead, “ _and_ this is a stupid idea, and it's stupid that you even suggested it.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow and shook his head, “Well, it seems like everything I do to try and help you is stupid.” Michael's expression softened, and Gavin went on to say, “You're not wrong for thinking that. I am the reason you can't sleep, yeah?”

Michael blinked. “What do you mean?” He asked.

“I'm the reason you can't sleep, because I made your problem with those bastards even worse than it had to be.”

“Gav,” Michael sighed. “Yeah, you did, but I know you didn't do it on purpose. I know you didn't think it would make anything worse. I _understand_ that you were trying to help me, but yeah. You fucked it up,” there was tone of humor in his voice again with those last words. 

Gavin grinned at him. “I'm sorry, Michael. I'll stay out of your business next time, and I wish I could do something to make this all better now.”

“Nah, it's fine,” Michael waved him off, “It'll blow over eventually, I guess.”

Gavin sighed through his nose and went ahead and crawled onto his bed while Michael just watched him without saying or doing anything. 

Once the Brit was lying on his back, he looked up and Michael and said, “You don't have to stay; I just wanted to get you in here so I could talk to you about that.”

Michael scoffed. “Just simply telling me you wanted to talk wasn't enough?”

“I thought this way would be funnier,” Gavin told him, smiling slyly.

“Hmm, mission unaccomplished, but hey... good try anyway.” 

“Fair enough,” Gavin yawned as he rolled onto his side, his back now facing Michael. He was waiting to hear the door open, but when it never did, he looked back at Michael and saw how the curly haired teen started to make his way around Gavin's bed. The blond's grin returned as Michael got onto the bed and lied down next to him. 

There was still a decent space between them, but Gavin couldn't help himself from beginning to feel the nerves inside his stomach. He had never been nervous around Michael. He had never felt anything around Michael, but recently, he had discovered that he felt something for Michael. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, though. Was it really just a mere crush? Or was it just something else? Whatever it was, he liked it.

“I still think this is stupid,” Michael whispered.

Gavin licked his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat before he could ask, “Then why are you here?”

Michael's eyebrows twitched together. He stared at Gavin as silence began to envelop them, but then he spoke, “Because for some reason, I don't mind being around you _too_ much.” He was trying to joke around about that – it was evident in the way he was smiling – but Gavin could see the honesty in his eyes.

He scooted closer to Michael as he whispered, “You're not so bad yourself.”

Michael's eyes flickered down involuntarily to Gavin's lips. “Yeah?” He asked, sounding practically breathless.

Gavin had to swallow hard again. “Absolutely,” he answered as leaned in more, having their faces now barely inches apart, and his eyes fluttered shut.

Michael hesitated a bit, unsure if it was the right move to make, but he inhaled sharply before capturing those lips with his own. This time, instead of freezing up and doing nothing, Gavin reciprocated by tilting his head and deepening the kiss.

At some point, he felt a hand rest on his hip and he smiled against Michael's soft lips. He brought his own hand up to place on Michael's cheek, but he slowly moved his fingers forward to entangle them in Michael's curly locks.

He hadn't realized just how much he'd been wanting to kiss Michael again, and now that it was happening, he didn't want it stop.

 

* * *

 

“ _Gavin_!” 

Gavin whined a little as he heard Geoff cheerfully calling out his name, yet he couldn't bring himself to care or respond.

“ _Gavin_!” It was fine; Geoff usually did that in the mornings even though it didn't exactly get Gavin to wake up. What got the Brit to wake up was the part when Geoff would walk in and...

Gavin gasped as his eyes shot open. Having Geoff walk in and see Michael in his bed was the last thing Gavin wanted to explain, especially this early in the morning. The blond turned over and started to shake Michael.

“Michael,” he whispered harshly, “Michael!”

“Gavin,” Geoff continued to call, his voice sounding louder, and Gavin knew the older man was just a few steps away.

“Michael!” Gavin tried again, and finally, Michael's eyes slowly opened as he smiled lazily at the Brit.

“What's going-”

“Shh!” Gavin cut him off as he pulled the covers over him and practically lied on top of him by the time Geoff opened the door and peeked in.

Gavin pretended as though he was just waking up by stretching and faking a yawn.

“Oh, hey Geoffrey,” he greeted, using his best tired voice. Michael rolled his eyes as he lied still under the blankets, and under Gavin.

“Morning, Gavin,” Geoff cheerfully said with a small smile. “Get up and ready. You don't want to be late for school, do you?”

“Of course not. I will be downstairs in ten minutes.” Geoff nodded, pleased with Gavin's answer, and he took one step out of the room, and Gavin was getting ready to get up and let Michael go when Geoff turned back around.

“You know,” Geoff spoke, making the younger lad fall back on Michael; Michael cursed under his breath. “I didn't see Michael when I went to wake him and Ray up. Do you know where he is?” The older man asked, then his eyebrows rose, “He didn't fall asleep on the couch, did he?”

“Uh, I-” Gavin bit down on his lower lip as he tried to come up with an answer, “I... uh, he _could_ have, but uh-” Michael had enough of this. He pushed Gavin off of him, getting a squeak out of the blond, and then he threw the covers off before staring up at Geoff.

“I'm right here,” he said nonchalantly. Geoff squinted his eyes as he looked back and forth from the two. Gavin hoped he didn't look as nervous as he felt and Michael just didn't care.

“Why are you in Gavin's bed?” Geoff asked him.

“Because I was helping him out last night with homework and we fell asleep,” Michael replied. Gavin turned to look at him in disbelief, because how was he so casual about this? Michael seemed to know what Gavin was thinking, because he looked at the boy and shrugged.

Geoff was quiet for a moment until he let a laugh. “Well okay,” he said, “For a second I thought you two had murdered someone and were too afraid to sleep alone after it.” Gavin laughed, but Michael scoffed.

“Geoff, if I were to kill someone with anyone, it wouldn't be with Gavin,” Michael told the older man. Gavin stopped laughing to gape at Michael, but Michael wasn't looking at him.

“Yeah, I wouldn't either,” Geoff agreed, now getting Gavin to stare at him in shock.

“Why not?” Gavin asked.

“Because...” Michael pursed his lips as he tried to come up with the right answer, “Because you're Gavin.”

Geoff laughed again when he saw Gavin threw his hands up in annoyance.

“Alright you two,” Geoff managed to say as his laughter calmed down, “Hurry up before we're all late.”

“Okay,” Gavin and Michael answered simultaneously as Geoff walked out of there. Michael sighed and got himself out of Gavin's bed, but as he headed to the door, Gavin said to him, “I would make a great accomplice. You're missing out.”

Michael merely shook his head and smirked at him before exiting the bedroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any questions, you can leave them in the comments or send them to me on tumblr (mogarsjones).


	18. Eighteen

If you kissed someone, did it mean you two were a couple? No, of course not – not always. There had to be answer for where Gavin and Michael stood now, right? Part of Gavin didn't want to bother Michael with questioning it, but there was that other part of him that really wanted to know. Where they just friends with benefits? He kind of hoped they weren't, then again, he really didn't know if he would care.

Truthfully, he didn't know what he wanted.

He thought about talking to Lindsay about, because he knew, without a doubt, that he could trust her with this. The only things stopping him from that was the fact that he was still trying to go over everything on his own and talking about it with someone else would lead to being asked questions he wasn't sure he had answers for.

At breakfast, he and Michael hardly exchanged looks or say a word to each other, but that's usually how breakfast went. In the car, Michael ended up in a long conversation with Geoff and Lindsay over, well... Gavin didn't even know what that conversation was about. All he knew was that he and Ray were quieter than ever, yet no one seemed to notice. But Ray being particularly this quiet was a little strange...

Gavin didn't want to question Ray, though, because if Ray had to talk, Gavin was sure he would when he was ready.

As they got off the car and headed into the school building together, Gavin found himself side glancing Michael one too many times, but Michael didn't once bother to return it. Was it possible he regretted the kiss? Perhaps it hadn't felt as nice as it did for Gavin.

It was probably was a mistake.

That thought was enough to make an ache slowly make its way into Gavin's chest. He _had_ to talk to Michael; he just wasn't sure how or when. In class, he went over the ways he could try bringing it up. _“So, about last night...” No. Hmm... how about, “Maybe I'm thinking too much into this, but I was wondering... no,_ hoping _...” Don't make yourself sound desperate, that's pathetic. Be subtle._

As he continued to try and come up with the various conversations in his mind, they all ended with Michael walking away from him or telling him something that would make him feel foolish.

Chemistry class was the class he definitely needed to pay all his attention to, but even then, he would find himself drifting off every time his teacher would give the class time to work on a certain problem. Instead of working on it or asking for help, he pretended as though he had done and simply copied off the work and answer when the teacher went over it. That wasn't going to help him at all and he would hate himself for not concentrating later over a crush dilemma (of all issues to be distracted with), but he couldn't help it.

“Gavin, are you okay?” His lab partner eventually asked him after seeing how much Gavin was drifting off.

Gavin blinked hard and faced them with a small smile, “Of course I am,” he whispered. He made sure that his eyes were on the board the whole rest of the period, although that didn't quite mean he had started listening to everything. He just didn't want to draw anymore attention to himself.

Lunch wasn't any easier, though. He was half eating and half staring at Michael, which, after a while, Miles' curiosity was finally too much.

“Gav, why do you keep staring at Michael? Are you worried someone is going to sneak up on him and kill him?”

Gavin blinked hard and looked at his friend with a raised eyebrow.

“No?”

“Well, apparently you are, because what you just gave me was more of a question than an answer.” Gavin rolled his eyes but Miles kept talking, “You know, I really think we scared off those guys. I don't think Michael has anything to worry about. I punched that guy hard enough that he won't be coming back for more, unless he's stupid.”

Ray and Kdin raised an eyebrow as they stared at Miles. Miles noticed them and paused from biting into his apple.

“What?” He asked.

“You punch a guy once, big whoop,” Ray told him in this serious, almost mono tone like voice that Kdin laugh.

“It doesn't suddenly make you this _macho_ man. You know that right?” Kdin then asked.

Miles pouted. “It... it can,” he defended himself. He looked over to see Lindsay walking with Arryn and Barbara and heading over to them. Miles sighed lovingly without meaning to.

“So macho,” Ray teased in a quiet voice so the girls wouldn't hear him at all.

“Shut up,” Miles grumbled, but he put on a bright smile as Arryn sat down next to him.

Gavin and Kdin exchanged a look before turning to smile at the two. Ray completely ignored it and was more distracted with grabbing grapes off Lindsay's tray.

“Hey, you wanna ask first before you take?” Lindsay scolded.

“Nope,” Ray bluntly answered.

“What a gentleman,” Barbara sarcastically told him.

“Oh, I know.”

Gavin laughed a little that before he got the feeling someone was staring at him. He turned and barely managed to see Michael turning away from him. That only increased his urge to talk to him about the whole situation and he mentally told himself right then and there that this “talk” would happen after lunch. Facing his friends again, Gavin actually started to pay attention to the story Barbara was in the middle of telling and he was only mildly distracted, but not by Michael, but by Ray continuing to mess around with Lindsay.

As soon as the bell rang though, nerves began to settle into Gavin's stomach. He practically jumped up from his seat on the bench and hurried towards the trash can to rid of his trash. He turned back and saw his friends staring at him questioningly, and he called out to them and told them he needed to get to class to talk to his teacher about something. His friends weren't quite convinced, but they really couldn't do much about it since Gavin was seriously quick with getting out of there.

How Michael managed to already be halfway down the hall whilst walking with his normal speed was beyond Gavin. Gavin returned to his usual pace once he noticed he was he was mere steps away. The only thing stopping him from closing that small gap was that Michael wasn't alone; he was walking with Chris and Chris seemed to be indulged in telling Michael something.

“Wait, are you serious?” Gavin heard Michael ask Chris.

Chris nodded frantically, an excited smile spreading across his face that made Gavin feel guilty for wishing Chris would leave.

The two stopped once they reached Michael's locker and Gavin halted in his tracks.

“I didn't believe it, either, at first, but researching further into it,” Chris shrugged, “I mean, how can it not be true?”

Michael nodded and he said something else to Chris, but Gavin wasn't able to hear it. Gavin just couldn't take the suspense anymore; he walked up to them just as Chris was talking again, but Chris closed his mouth when he and Michael noticed Gavin.

“Oh, sorry mate,” Gavin apologized, but Chris just smiled and shook his head as he took a step back. Heat rose to Gavin's cheeks, because he knew Chris could sense his eagerness.

“Wait, don't stop talking just because he came over,” Michael told Chris, “Finish your story. Gavin can wait.” Gavin frowned, because he didn't really want to wait, but being rude to one of Michael's close friends wasn't a way to win him over, so he remained quiet and merely nodded.

Chris cleared his throat and went on. Not having been in the conversation from the start, Gavin was basically confused as Chris explained his logical reasons on the certain subject. Michael also added his input on the manner and Chris looked overly excited that Michael was so invested. Chris could confide in Michael to talk to him casually about some things without feeling like he wasn't making any sense, because Michael _did_ understand and _did_ agree.

Something about that warmed Gavin's stomach and he smiled as he listened to the two talk, even though he didn't get what they were talking about.

“I'll let you know if anything more comes up,” Chris then said.

“Alright good, because this _can't_ end here,” Michael told him, making Chris laugh.

“Well,” Chris looked at Gavin, “I'll go now, to give you guys some privacy.”

“You don't have to leave,” Gavin said to him, although he knew the way he said it made it evident how much he didn't mean it. He had nothing against Chris, but what he wanted to speak to Michael about was a bit private, and Gavin wasn't sure if Michael wanted any friends to know.

Luckily, Chris just smiled at him again before turning away and walking off. Michael closed his locker and turned to face Gavin with a stern look. Gavin was only slightly taller than him, yet he felt so small under his gaze.

“Alright, Gavin,” Michael spoke as he crossed his arms, “What's so important that you had to try and interrupt my friend?”

Gavin bit down on his lower lip; he had all morning to figure out the right way to start this, but planning a conversation wasn't the brightest idea. Anyone could think someone was going to respond a certain way and end up completely wrong. So all that “planning” wouldn't have done Gavin any good, anyway. He sighed deeply and asked the first question that came to mind, a question he couldn't believe he was asking Michael Jones.

“Michael, what are we?”

Michael raised an eyebrow as he looked over Gavin's face, trying to find some clarification, but Gavin wasn't going to give him any.

“What?” He asked.

“Last night,” Gavin said, his voice very quiet from how silly he suddenly felt about this, “I don't want to assume anything, but I also don't-”

“Stop,” Michael cut him off, so Gavin pursed his lips and listened. “I'm going to just tell you this now before this,” he gestured between them, “gets out of hand. Okay?” He watched as Gavin nodded before he proceeded to speak, “Okay, well, I'm... Gav, I don't want to be in a relationship right now, so if that's what you wanted, I, uh...” he trailed off, having to look away, because he couldn't go on with the way Gavin was now looking at him.

Gavin's eyebrows twitched together, feeling as though something was tugging at him inside his chest.

“If you weren't, then why did you kiss me last night?” He managed to ask.

Michael rose his eyebrows and said, “You didn't stop me. I thought... I thought you-”

“I did,” Gavin admitted, “but _I_ thought...” He looked down at his feet as he tried coming up with the next right thing to say. His mind was much too cluttered now for him to think thoroughly and people walking around them, laughing and talking loudly, wasn't helping.

“Why did you kiss me the first time, then?” He finally asked, knowing full well that his words came out choked, but he couldn't do anything about that.

“I told you; I wanted to kiss you for a long time now,” Michael saw the slight confusion on Gavin's face, so he continued on, “I think you're cute, but I... I haven't thought much about how I really feel. If I'm being honest with you, I don't think I want to.”

_Oh._

Gavin licked his lips as he nodded.

“I can't say I'm surprised,” he said softly.

The sincere look that Michael just had turned into a glare, and he asked, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Gavin's eyes widened, because Michael looked angry, but the way he sounded wasn't of someone who was angry; it was of someone who had just been offended.

Gavin opened his mouth, ready to explain, but the bell ringing cut him off. He shook his head and mumbled something that Michael barely heard.

“What did you say?” Michael asked.

“I said, I need to go to class,” Gavin was already trying to turn away as he spoke, but Michael was able to stop him by gently grabbing his arm.

“No, Gav, forget class right now, just for a moment,” he said.

Gavin wanted to pull away, but he did want to hear what Michael had to say.

“I get what you meant and I don't blame you for not being surprised, but I can't have you leaving without you knowing first that I do-” Gavin wasn't even going to let Michael finish that sentence; he grabbed Michael's face and slowly pulled him closer as he kissed him – their lips only slightly pressing against each other. Michael's eyes were wide when Gavin pulled away, but neither of them said a word as Gavin turned around and headed off.

* * *

 

It was one of those days where Geoff was able to come home early and he almost settled on taking a nap on the couch when Griffon walked up to him and said the last thing he expected to hear.

“There's a woman that asked for Gavin.”

Geoff furrowed his eyebrows, stopping midway from lying down and looking up at her instead.

“What?”

Griffon sighed as she walked around the couch and sat down on the armrest. “Sarah called me the other day and told me that there was a woman who called her, asking for Gavin.” Geoff couldn't even think about what to say to her; he merely stared at her with a mildly baffled expression as if trying to figure this whole thing out on his own.

“I've just been thinking about it a lot lately,” Griffon then said.

Sitting up, Geoff finally asked, “Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“There was never a really good time, and I was always afraid one of the kids would hear, especially Gavin. But now we're both home when they're not, so here I am, telling you.”

“Has Sarah said anything since?”

“No.”

Geoff scratched his head, still trying to wrap himself in this situation. He didn't know what he was more surprised about; Griffon not telling him the moment she got the phone call, or that someone was trying to get into contact with Gavin. He understood the reasoning in the former, though, so he rubbed his chin as he went over the latter. He stood up from the couch and started heading for the kitchen when Griffon spoke up again.

“I know who the woman was, though.”

Geoff halted in his track and turned back. to his wife, but he couldn't deny that he had a pretty good feeling of who it was as well.

“His mom,” he answered, and Griffon nodded.

“I don't know how she found out he was in foster care; she left before he was put into it.”

“Lucky guess?” Geoff suggested as he walked over to the sliding glass door and stared out into the yard. Griffon joined him at his side and paid more attention to the expressions on Geoff's face through the reflection rather than outside.

“Maybe... But why does she think it's okay to come looking for him when he's already grown up? She left him when he was only seven, and it's been almost nine years ever since.”

Ray opened the front door and was ready to loudly announce his presence, but then he caught the two adults standing there with their backs to him and talking in their most serious tones.

“So she thinks after so many years, it's okay to be a mother again?” Geoff asked Griffon while Griffon only shrugged a shoulder and remained quiet as Geoff went on, “A mother to a child she abandoned, and not _only_ abandoned that he was left alone on his own, but he was left alone with a fucking abuser.”

Ray's eyes widened slightly and he quietly closed the front door behind him so they wouldn't know he was there. He then quietly moved to the side where the staircase was to hide even further from them, and the sound of Geoff's yell did cause him to jump.

“That's complete bullshit!”

“I know, I know,” Griffon agreed, her tone soft.

“What is it with these boys and their mothers? What did they do to deserve such crappy parents? They're good kids, damnit.”

Griffon was quiet for a moment and Ray almost had the urge to peek over and see if they were still standing there, but he didn't want to risk being seen. Just as he decided to go upstairs, he heard Griffon ask, “Do you think Gavin would want to see her?” And he couldn't help his curiosity, so he stayed to listen more.

“I wouldn't want him, too, or at least, I would hope he wouldn't want to,” Geoff answered.

“I know she's his mom, but she's done nothing to prove that she cares. She would have to convince us _really_ well.”

“Damn right she would.”

Ray leaned against the wall as he furrowed his eyebrows. He suddenly wished he would have ended up going over to Miles' place like Gavin had after school, because he wasn't sure what to do with this information he wasn't supposed to know. Maybe he should have let Geoff and Griffon know he had arrived so he wouldn't have heard anything, but when curiosity gets a hold, it's nearly impossible to ignore it.

If he hadn't come home along, this wouldn't have happened, but everyone had something to do after school, and he had nothing but to come home.

“I think I need a drink,” he heard Geoff say, so he quickly, yet quietly, went up the stairs before Geoff could see him.

Ray knew he had to be specifically quiet with his steps, because if they heard thumping coming from above, they would know someone was there. The trip to his bedroom was the longest one he'd ever taken, but once he was there, he managed to get inside without making much noise, and once he was sitting on his bed, he let out a sigh of relief.

He allowed himself to fall back and stare up at the ceiling as the conversation played over in his mind. Apparently Gavin's mother wanted to speak to him or see him? Something along those lines. The one thing that particularly stood out to Ray was when Geoff had said, _“What is it with these boys and their mothers?”_

Ray swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in his throat. It wasn't like Gavin's mother had been abusive; she was just looking out for herself in the end and decided to leave Gavin behind, which was terrible, but at least she didn't try drinking away her problems in front of him. Or at least she didn't actually physically and emotionally abuse Gavin like Michael's mother had to Michael.

But Ray did have to admit that it didn't mean she was any better.

He started to wonder how Gavin would have reacted if he would have been the one to walk in on that conversation. He wondered if Gavin would actually consider seeing his mother again.

Sometimes people deserved a second chance, especially if they could prove worthy of it. Everyone made mistakes, but it didn't mean they couldn't fix them.

Ray shook his head and muttered, “No,” under his breath because he knew what he was starting to get the urge to do, but he couldn't. He wasn't stupid enough to do such a thing.

Yet, what felt to be involuntarily, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, but for a moment, he only stared at his home screen. Behind the applications, he could see a picture of him with Gavin, one that had been taken the day, the actual minute after, he had gotten his phone. Gavin was leaning close to him in the picture, a slight smile on his face while Ray had his eyebrows raised and his mouth wide open in an almost humorous manner.

And Ray grinned as he continued to stare at for a few more minutes before his grin began to falter.

“Gav, we both have this opportunity,” he started to say, his voice barely a whisper, “and I don't know if you would take it, but it's there if you wanted to, and you don't even have a clue about it.” He licked his lips as he clicked on his contacts and scrolled down. When he saw the number he was looking for, he took a deep breath.

“But I do.”

He tapped on the number before pressing his phone to his ear. It rang... and rang... and rang, and just when Ray was going to back out and hang up, a voice answered, and he felt himself freeze up a bit at the sound of it. He thought he had lost his ability to say anything at all until he heard the voice say, “Hello?” again, and he blinked hard, regaining himself again.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, his heart picking up its pace in his chest. He didn't even wait for her to respond to that, “Are you busy? I want to talk to you, well... I mean, face to face.” And he closed his eyes tightly as he waited for her to answer.

 

* * *

 

“Geoffrey! Griffon!” Gavin bellowed out as he walked in through the front with Michael and Lindsay following behind, “We're home!”

“Do you have to make it so obnoxious?” Michael asked him.

“I'm not obnoxious,” Gavin defended himself as he glared at Michael.

“But I love how that word just happens to be _one_ word we all associate with you, Gavin,” Lindsay teased.

“I figure you're all just against me.”

Michael laughed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay.”

Loud steps going down the steps had the three of them look up to find Geoff running down to greet them.

“Hey, my favorite person's back,” he said, grinning cheekily as he made it to the bottom where they were.

Gavin returned the grin and held out his arms, but Geoff walked passed him and patted Lindsay on the back.

“Nice to have you home, Linds,” he said before walking into the kitchen, and Michael covered his face as he laughed again when he saw Gavin gaping at Geoff.

Lindsay pursed her lips to prevent herself from smiling, but she smiled anyway, “I think he was smart to pick me as his favorite.”

“That doesn't even matter,” Gavin told her causally, but the clear annoyance was written over his face. He looked over to see Griffon entering the house from the backdoor and he smirked as he faced Michael and Lindsay again.

“I know for a fact that I'm Griffon's favorite.”

Michael and Lindsay raised an eyebrow at him.

“Griffon, we're back,” Gavin practically sang out, and she looked over at them, a smile starting to grace her features, and Gavin wiggled his eyebrows at the other two.

Griffon made her way over to them to get to the staircase, “Hi guys,” she greeted, but before heading up the steps, she gently pinched Michael on the cheek.

From force of habit, Michael almost pulled away, but he resisted for her sake and smiled softly at her instead. Now Lindsay was laughing as she pointed at Gavin.

“Wrong again, Gavvers, because Michael has the role of Griffon's favorite,” she said in between her laughs.

Michael shook his head and also began to head upstairs, ignoring the way Gavin playfully glared at him.

“Go ahead and get cleaned up; dinner will be ready soon,” Geoff told them from the kitchen.

Michael sighed loudly as he burst into the bedroom he shared with Ray. He expected to walk into an empty room, but when he found Ray sitting in there, he halted in his tracks and stared at him questioningly.

“Sorry I didn't come down to greet you guys,” Ray told him.

Michael shrugged. “No, it's fine, but I just didn't think you were home.”

“Well, I had nothing fun to do unlike you three.”

“I wouldn't really call what I did _fun_ ,” Michael walked over to his bed and threw off his backpack onto it.

“Better than staying home,” Ray said, letting out a sort of nervous chuckle that Michael looked back at him.

“Right.”

Ray averted his eyes and started to fiddle with his fingers, and just like that, Ray was back to being the strangely quiet version of himself.

Michael frowned and crossed his arms, but he didn't want to question him. “Uh, if you didn't hear Geoff, dinner will be ready soon.”

Ray nodded and left his hands alone. “Okay, sounds good, because I'm starving,” and when he looked back up at Michael, Michael could see the struggle Ray was having with smiling.

Michael returned the smile, though, before he headed for the door. He opened it and gave Ray a look that Ray knew meant Michael was waiting for him, so with little hesitation, he got up from his bed and hurried over to follow Michael out and downstairs.

When Geoff turned away from the stove and spotted Ray behind Michael, he raised his eyebrows.

“How long have you been home?” He couldn't help but ask.

“Long time ago, Geoff,” Ray simply answered as he took his seat at the table.

Geoff looked at Michael for another answer, but Michael shrugged.

“Well, alright then. Sorry I didn't see you earlier, kiddo.”

Ray waved Geoff off. “Don't be. I should be the one sorry for not...” his face fell as he remembered why Geoff hadn't known he was home the whole time, “... for not telling you when I got here.”

Lindsay went ahead and sat down in the empty seat next to Michael, leaving no other seat available next to Michael, because Ray was sitting on the right of him. Gavin frowned as he noticed this and Lindsay caught it.

“Uh, did you want to sit here?” She asked, almost unsure if asking was the right thing.

Michael looked up at Gavin curiously and Gavin shook his head.

“Nope, I'm fine sitting right here,” he said as he pulled open the chair on Ray's left. He glanced at Michael and saw how Michael flashed him a quick smile before looking down.

 

* * *

 

Once food was consumed and dishes were cleaned and put away, the four – Gavin, Lindsay, Ray, and Michael – took over the living room to watch TV before having to up to their rooms for sleep. Eventually Griffon ended up joining them as she sat on the sofa and let them take the couch. Geoff was also going to sit with them, but then he received a call and hurried out of there to answer it in private.

Gavin was sat next to Michael and at first, there was a small gap between them, but as the night went on, that gap slowly disappeared. Michael hadn't realized it until a hand brush against his own. He looked at Gavin and Gavin found enough confidence to do something further; he grabbed Michael's hand and gently began to rub his knuckles with his thumb. Michael checked to make sure Griffon wasn't paying them any attention, but she seemed pretty into whatever was on TV. Michael then glanced at Lindsay and Ray. Lindsay also looked interested in the TV show while Ray just seemed lost in thought.

Gavin was tempted to rest his head on Michael's shoulder, but he figured he was already pushing his luck by holding his hand. And the hand holding didn't last very long, either, because within five minutes of it, Michael pulled his hand away and crossed his arms. Gavin furrowed his eyebrows, feeling ready to apologize, but then he noticed the small smile on Michael's face, and he couldn't help but grin.

Ray took a deep breath and shifted in his seat. After he had called his mother, she agreed to meet up with him at the park. As Ray had put his phone back into his pocket, he decided against going, because it was a risk, one he wasn't sure he was willing to take. But what if this was his last opportunity? He just wanted some sort of closure, something that he could look back on and say, “My life wasn't as bad as it could have been.”

Before he was able to really dwell on it, he was climbing out his window and carefully making his way over to the tree in the front yard. It had been a scary and slow travel there, because he kept looking over the edge and imagining how badly he could hurt himself if he slipped and fell. Finally making it to the tree, he started to climb down. The second his feet touched the ground, he told himself he could pretend he just got home and and go back to his room where he would be safe and sound.

“No,” he said under his breath, “I'm going to do this.” Inhaling sharply, he wiped his hands on his jeans and headed on his way.

She was there, sitting at the same table, her back towards him, and Ray suddenly felt like he was six years old again.

He froze in his spot, staring wide eyed at her like she was this creature that was going to come after him, but when he looked over her shoulder and smiled at him, he found some courage to move.

“You know, when you called, I didn't think you would actually come here,” she spoke.

Ray swallowed hard and shrugged. “I thought about standing you up, making you know how it felt to be... you know, lied to, neglected... alone.”

“Oh, Ray,” Ms. Narvaez said softly as she frowned, “I've been alone ever since they took you from me.”

“And whose fault is that?”

The corners of her mouth rose slightly. Ray kept his distance, leaving the table between them, because there was no way he was getting closer. The one thing he did notice, though, was that she was completely sober, and she even looked healthy.

Ray rubbed his face now, because meeting with his mother hadn't gone as terrible as he feared. It wasn't anything great, but it was better than he would have ever expected.

“That conversation was mainly filled with Burnie laughing,” Geoff said, getting Ray to focus back on what was going on around him.

“Did your voice crack more than usual?” Gavin asked.

“Burnie sure does get a kick out of that,” Lindsay joked.

“Oh, _very_ funny,” Geoff slapped Gavin's knee and gestured for him to move over.

Gavin's smile fell, because of all the spots Geoff could have chosen, he had to chose to sit between him and Michael. But he did as he was told and squeezed closer to Ray.

They all stayed there in the living room until it was about nine, and then most of them started heading upstairs, leaving Geoff and Griffon in there alone.

During the whole time they had been watching TV, Ray hadn't been able to shake the memories of the day's events from his mind. He was trailing behind Michael and wasn't even thinking properly when he asked him, “Michael, do you ever think about seeing your mom again?” At that, Michael looked at him, slightly parted lips and raised eyebrows, but that quickly changed into a look of exasperation, as if he didn't get why Ray was even bothering with asking him that.

“Fuck that,” he simply answered as he quickened his steps towards the bathroom.

Ray sighed, stopping from walking for a moment, but his eyes brightened when he noticed Gavin coming up behind him. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Gavin questioned.

“Do you ever think about... you know, your mom coming back to see you? And would you see her?”

Gavin studied Ray's face, trying to find a reasoning for that question, but he didn't manage to find any. With a shrug, he went ahead and answered anyway, “Why would I? She left me behind. She could have taken me with her, but she didn't. I honestly don't care for her because of that,” he took a few steps away from Ray, but then something else came to mind and he was facing him again, “I do wonder, from time to time, about where she is, but then I realize that she can be living on the streets for all I care.”

Ray's expression went blank and he watched as Gavin just walked into his bedroom.

Michael was waiting near the bathroom for Lindsay to finish, but he did hear what Gavin said, and he stared at Gavin's door as he frowned.

 


	19. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story is moving along. All I have to say is that you should probably really enjoy this chapter... Also check out the songs "Salvation" by Gabrielle Aplin and "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheeran. They're great and go with this chapter. They are uploaded to the playlist, so you can listen to them there.

For a while, things seemed as normal (or as normal as they could be considered) between everyone at the house. There were times where Ray's behavior was questionable enough for Griffon to sit him down and try talking to him, but Ray always managed to get himself out of by merely bringing up jokes and Griffon would be convinced that everything was fine.

Although Michael had said he didn't want anything serious, that didn't stop Gavin from occasionally flirting with him with words or by subtly bumping against him on their way out the door, and when no one was looking, he would sneak a quick peck on Michael's cheek. The best part of it was the reactions Michael would give him when doing any of that; he was never angry or bothered by it, but rather, a bit flustered, and he probably thought Gavin never noticed, but Gavin always saw the way Michael would smile to himself.

The worst part of it, though, was how they never spoke of it, or of anything between them, and that make Gavin feel a bit silly for trying so hard, but he couldn't help it. If Michael were to tell him to stop, he would, no questions asked, but without admitting it, Michael _didn't_ want Gavin to stop. And suspecting that was enough to keep Gavin not feeling as pathetic about it.

Finals were taken and done with and finally, Winter Break came along to save them from having to deal with anything school related for a good three weeks. Lindsay and Gavin spent most of their first week helping out Geoff with hanging up the decorations around the house. Decorating the living room, however, was a group effort from everyone, even if two of them only hung up a few stockings and then set up the train underneath the tree before getting bored and retiring back to their bedroom. But although Geoff had trouble deciding exactly how he wanted the tree to look, Gavin, Lindsay, and Griffon stood by his side and patiently waited.

“You know what,” Geoff said after a while of just standing and rubbing his chin, “Just throw all the shit on it.”

“Are you sure?” Lindsay asked. “I mean, you're always trying to go for a specific theme.”

“Yeah, well, this year's theme is 'go for it and have fun in the meantime'.”

Gavin raised his eyebrows and smirked. “I like it.”

“Certainly makes everything much easier,” Griffon mumbled, to which Gavin and Lindsay laughed.

Geoff merely rolled his eyes and started pulling out all of the ornaments from their large box filled with various decorations.

The second week of break was spent lounging around lazily with Miles, Kdin, Barbara, or Arryn over. Even Chris, Kyle, and Blaine came over a few times to hang out with Michael, but even then, they all would end up hanging out together in the living room.

And then Christmas came at the end of that second week. Geoff had this need to make Christmas even and day some of the best days for Gavin, Michael, Lindsay, and Ray. He would ask them months in advance to give him a list of the things they wanted, and although they hated writing lists like they were little kids asking Santa for presents, they would write them anyway. They fully understood why making Christmas special was so important to Geoff and they couldn't be cruel and deny him the satisfaction of trying to make them happy, because if they were happy, then Geoff was happy, and that would make Griffon happy to see everyone smiling.

Griffon would also have to remind Geoff, though, that if he seriously couldn't afford to get every single thing on their lists, then he shouldn't try. He would have to be reminded more than once when he went out shopping for the particular presents with her.

So with all the effort Geoff put into the holiday, it was never a surprise when Christmas was indeed one of the best.

The third week – the _final_ week – was spent with each of them doing whatever they needed, if anything, and then just back to them being as lazy as they wanted.

Neither Geoff or Griffon would make a huge deal out of New Years eve, although Geoff would take all of them over to whoever was throwing a party for it. Sometimes they would stay until after midnight, but this year, they only went for a while and they ended up spending the last two hours of the year huddled into the living room as they watched one of the New Years eve specials on TV.

The closer it got to midnight, the louder each of them seemed to get as they threw in their “New Years resolutions” and making fun of each other's, because who were they kidding? Michael didn't say much during this time, though; he merely smiled and shook his head when one of them tried being funny. Ray looked like he just wanted to sleep already, but he kept his eyes open and would participate in conversation.

When it came to the last thirty seconds, they all grew quiet and stared at the TV screen, letting the people on there do the counting for them. Gavin let his eyes wander over to Michael and he smiled slightly when he saw the hint of eagerness on that face.

Ten... nine... eight...

Geoff and Griffon were slowly starting to get up.

Seven... six... five...

Ray and Lindsay sat up a bit more, their eyes never leaving the screen.

Four... three... two...

Gavin looked at Michael again and this time, the latter stared back.

One...

Gavin practically jumped back in his seat as Geoff and Griffon got to their feet completely and embraced each other. Ray pretended to gag as the two started to kiss and Lindsay gently hit him for that.

Why people kissed at midnight was never a thing Gavin understood, but he had never wanted it to happen to him as much as he did now. He heard a loud sigh and saw Michael standing up.

“Well, this was fun and everything, but I'm going to bed,” Michael told everyone before making his way around the couch. “Even though I'm not even fucking tired,” he mumbled that, and it was evident he hadn't meant for anyone to hear, but Gavin heard it.

“Me too,” Ray then said as he jumped up, but Ray truly was sleepy.

Gavin licked his lips and nodded. “I think I will be, too.”

“Alright, goodnight kids!” Griffon called to them, still held close to Geoff, and Gavin smiled at them before turning around and walking off; Lindsay quickly followed behind.

Michael and Ray walked into their bedroom and Michael almost laughed at how Ray just fell onto his bed.

“Goodnight, man,” he said, though it came out muffled because his face was buried in his pillow.

Michael frowned, “Yeah, uh... night.” He slowly sat down on his own bed and did nothing but stare at the wall across from him. He didn't even know how much time passed when he heard soft snores coming from Ray, and he shook his head at that.

Ray was practically an expert at a certain amount of things and sleeping was definitely one of them.

Michael felt too antsy for sleep, though, so after tapping his foot for a long while, he got up and headed for the door.

“Sweet dreams, sleeping beauty,” he whispered to Ray before stepping out.

His first initial thought was to go for a walk, but knowing that Geoff and Griffon were still downstairs, he figured they wouldn't let him out this late. He considered sneaking out, but did he really want to take a walk that badly? Just as he was about to give up and return to his bed to force himself to sleep, he looked at Gavin's door.

Michael pursed his lips, because he half hated himself for wanting to go in there, and he wasn't sure why, but he decided to ignore that half and go with the part that didn't mind. As quietly as he could manage, he turned the doorknob and slowly walked in. Gavin's back was to him and Michael figured he was out like a light just as Ray was, but as soon as he closed the door behind him, Gavin turned to look at him.

“I didn't wake you, did I?” Michael asked.

There were the usual tingles in Gavin's chest that sometimes made it difficult to act casual, but he shook his head and smiled. Before he could ask Michael anything, Michael was crawling onto the bed and Gavin moved over to give him more room.

“Uh, happy New Years,” Gavin whispered to him once Michael was settled in.

Michael shrugged a shoulder and smiled softly, “Sure. Happy New Years to you, too, Gav.” And then he leaned in closer and placed a small kiss on Gavin's forehead.

It was such a simple and probably very harmless gesture, but that was the exact moment Gavin realized he was screwed.

He didn't remember falling asleep that night, or if Michael ever did, but he did remember how disappointed he felt when he woke up in the morning to find Michael gone.

Everything else that happened during that break hardly meant anything to Gavin, and the last few days basically just flew by anyway.

 

* * *

 

Barbara tilted her head as she read one of the papers taped to the wall near her locker. She then pointed to it as she turned to face her friends.

“So, who's going to be my date?” She asked, but she waggled her eyebrows as she looked at Arryn.

“Winter Formal? Seriously, you want to go to that?” Lindsay asked her as she crossed her arms.

“It won't terrible depending on who's planning it,” their other friend, Kara, said, and they all nodded in agreement.

“If I'm being honest, Linds, no,” Barbara answered, “but hey, if we have nothing better to do, it can be put into consideration.” She stepped away from the wall and jumped in front of her locker to start getting her things out.

“But then there's the whole finding something to wear and trying to look... well, _decent_ ,” Arryn reminded them.

“None of us have to _try_ and look decent, we _are_ decent,” Kara joked.

Lindsay laughed and shook her head.

“And not having a date is never an issue, so don't any of you dare and argue with me about that,” Barbara warned them, turning away from locker to narrow her eyes at the three girls. “Although,” she softened her expression, “if that seriously needs to be the case, I think I have a date in mind. You know, besides my first choice, Arryn.” Arryn grinned at her.

“Who?” Lindsay asked.

“Well, only because I feel like it wouldn't be as difficult considering he lives with you-”

“ _Gavin_?”

Barbara widened her eyes and shook her head. “Oh, no, no. Gavin's too... well, he's Gavin.”

“Ah, Michael, right?” Kara asked and Barbara nodded.

“I can never tell if you really have a crush on him or-” but Lindsay was cut off instantly by Barbara.

“No, I don't; I just think he's cute and he does need to lighten up more. I mean, has he ever been to a school dance before?”

“No, and don't plan on him getting convinced on going to this one, either,” Lindsay told her.

“Back to my first choice, then – the _best_ choice,” Barbara smiled over at Arryn.

“Promise me dinner and I'm all yours,” Arryn said.

Barbara laughed and turned back to her locker.

“Well, I, on the other hand, don't plan on going at all,” Lindsay told them.

“Neither am I,” Kara added.

Barbara stuck out her lower lip as she closed her locker and faced them again. Lindsay and Kara crossed their arms and shook their heads.

“You're not going to guilt trip us into it,” Lindsay said.

“I probably could if I tried hard enough, _but_ I'm going to let you girls think it over instead,” Barbara started walking down the hall and the girls all followed her since they did share the next class together.

Miles turned his head as he watched them leave, a look of aspiration plastered over his face while he completely ignored what Ray was talking about. They were standing around the men's restroom as they waited for Gavin to walk out of it, and Miles hadn't been able to not notice that Arryn had been nearby.

“Imagine Arryn and I going to the dance together,” he blurted out on impulse, accidentally interrupting Ray mid sentence.

Ray and Kdin looked at him with a raised eyebrow. At this point, Gavin walked out and opened his mouth to speak when Miles cut him off by repeating what he had just said.

Gavin blinked as he stared at his friend, he then look over at Kdin and Ray, but they merely shrugged. Gavin rolled his eyes at them before turning back to Miles.

“So, do it. Ask her to the dance.”

“Yeah, just buy some flowers, preferably her favorite king, and write it on a poster or something so you don't actually have to use your voice,” Kdin suggested.

“I can't do that,” Miles whispered harshly, eyes wide.

“Why not? It's simple. It's not like we're telling you to propose to her.”

Miles laughed nervously, “Don't be silly, Kdin. We have to be at least eighteen to get married, right?”

Kdin raised his eyebrows, “Um... yeah, sure. But _anyway_ , why is it so hard for you to just ask her?”

“Because she's Arryn and I'm Miles. The two just don't mix, ya know?”

“Miles and Arryn,” Ray tested, his eyes squinting as he pictured the two together, “Arryn and Miles... hmm...” He rubbed his chin and Miles stared at him curiously.

“You're right,” Ray then said. “Doesn't fit.” Gavin laughed and Miles pouted.

“I'm kidding,” Ray told him.

“Miles, if you like her, go for it,” Kdin encouraged.

Miles groaned a little too loudly, making his friends look around to make sure no one was watching them.

“I'll only ask her if you guys go to the dance, too,” he pointed his finger at each of them.

“Oh, god no,” Ray practically shouted as he placed his hands on his hips.

“I'm not in any mood to go to a stupid school dance,” Gavin said.

“I'll go,” Kdin simply answered as he uncapped his water bottle to take a sip. As he sipped, he noticed how they were all staring at him in awe. He swallowed hard and wiped his with the back of his hand. “What?” He asked slowly as he put the bottle in the side pocket of his backpack.

“You gave in so fast,” Miles said, and Gavin and Ray nodded.

“Because I know you wouldn't shut up about it until _at least_ one of us gave in,” Kdin replied, gesturing to all of them. He then furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at Gavin and Ray, “And I'm not going to be so angry at the thought of a school dance because I think it's lame and I'm too _cool_ for it.”

“I never said I was too cool for it,” Gavin defended himself.

“But _I_ do think it's lame,” Ray added. Kdin merely shook his head.

“Why is it lame?” Miles asked Ray, although he continued to speak before Ray could give him a response, “We haven't been to any school dances before, especially none at this school. You can't be down about something before you give it a try first.”

“Yeah, but-” Ray stopped himself when he saw the glare Kdin was giving him, so he sighed and said instead, “Fine, I'll go,” in such a defeated tone.

Gavin gasped and turned to him, “You will?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Now all eyes were on Gavin; Miles with a hopeful look, Kdin with a “I'll kill you if you try getting out of this” look, and Ray just appeared to be interested in what Gavin would end up saying.

Gavin scratched the back of his head, because they wouldn't even flinch or look away for a second from him. “I consider this peer pressure,” he told them.

“ _No_ ,” Miles suspiciously said while shaking his head.

“Think of it more as 'We are your friends and we want you to spend time with us at a school event' sort of pressure,” Kdin said, a devious smile spreading across his features.

Gavin huffed, but he threw his hands up in defeat. “Alright then,” and he jumped from the sudden cheers from Miles and Kdin. He just looked at Ray and they both shook their heads as they looked down at the floor.

Going to the dance wasn't going to be the end of the world, but a part of Gavin wished he could have gone with someone – specifically a certain someone.

It was a few days before the actual dance that Miles finally worked up the courage to ask Arryn. It took a lot of words of encouragement and literal pushes towards Arryn for Miles to actually do the asking. The nerves Miles was feeling was a little too evident, especially since he was holding a bouquet of flowers and they were shaking under his grasp. Arryn was standing with Lindsay when Miles walked up to them and Gavin, Ray, and Kdin watched intently from afar.

“Miles' lips are moving way too fast,” Kdin pointed out, “I'm worried he's not saying anything that makes sense at all.”

“Well, Arryn's smiling, so that's a good sign,” Ray told him.

“So is Lindsay,” Gavin added.

And then, by some miracle maybe, Arryn threw her arms around Miles.

“Attaboy, Miles,” Kdin cheered amongst himself.

When Miles gave Arryn the flowers and walked away, he reached his friends with the biggest smile they had probably ever seen on him.

“How did I do?” He asked them.

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows, but then he smiled, “Top.” because his friend managed to do something he was more than nervous about, and that was pretty amazing.

Kdin patted Miles on the back and Ray gave him a thumbs up, and the four of them turned around and headed towards the cafeteria.

The next step was buying the tickets and figuring what was decent enough to wear to a dance with formal attire.

Lindsay and Kara were set on really not attending the dance, but seeing that Arryn had gotten a date, they couldn't resist going. And then Barbara was also asked later that day by Chris.

Chris had practically been like Miles – nervous and unsure of going through with it, but he had Michael and Kyle to help him out with the words... literally.

The plan was for the three of them to walk up to Barbara as she stood alone at her locker, and then Michael and Kyle were going to make up an excuse and walk off, but that didn't work out. It would have, except they could hear Chris rambling on about something that had _nothing_ to do with the dance, and although Barbara didn't seem annoyed or bothered by it, Michael and Kyle knew that meant Chris wasn't going to actually end up asking. So the two headed back to their friend and stood next to him.

“Hey, Barb, are you going to the dance?” Kyle casually asked her, and Michael almost smiled at the way Chris' eyes widened.

Barbara looked at each of them before focusing on Kyle, “It was a maybe at first, but I've decided today that I was,” then she narrowed her eyes, “Why?”

“Yeah, Chris, why?” Michael asked as he turned his head towards him and Kyle did the same.

That was all it took for Barbara to understand what was going on and she smiled softly at Chris.

“Chris, if this is your way of asking someone to the dance-”

“Will you?” Chris asked, giving her an apologetic smile that only made her smile widen.

“First of all, you two need to leave,” she said, waving Kyle and Michael away.

Kyle scoffed and crossed his arms, “You don't have to be mean about it,” but he did wink at Chris and started heading off with Michael.

After that was settled and successful, Michael was probably the most excited for Saturday night to come around, but not because of the dance (he wasn't even going to that), but because he was going to have the house to himself.

While Gavin, Ray, and Lindsay were at the school, dancing away in the cleaned and decorated gym, Geoff and Griffon would be out at a restaurant for a long deserved date night. That would leave Michael alone to take care of the house, and yeah sure he would make sure nothing bad happened, but he would do that while spending his time on the couch and watch whatever he wanted without complaints from someone else. That was usually the problem with living with three other teenagers, was how one of them always wanted to watch something different and they would end up arguing until they didn't even feel like watching anything anymore.

But not Saturday night.

 

* * *

 

Griffon rushed around, making sure she wasn't forgetting anything as Geoff simply stood aside with his car keys.

“What could you possibly forget?” He asked her after her third run up the stairs.

“I just have a feeling that I am!” She answered.

Geoff sighed and shook his head. He leaned against the staircase and took out his phone to check the time when he heard footsteps going down the steps. He looked up, expecting to see Griffon, but when he saw Ray trying to fix his tie as he walked, Geoff laughed.

“How do these things even work?” Ray asked Geoff, finally giving up on the tie.

“Come here, I'll help you,” Geoff said as he signaled him to get closer.

Michael was already seated on the couch and he looked over to see Ray standing there, a look of misery on his face as Geoff tied the tie for him. Coming down the stairs next was Griffon who practically tackled Ray with a hug when she saw the way he looked.

“Look at you,” she said, gently grabbing his face, “Oh my god, is that facial hair I feel?” She squeezed his face a bit, “How are you and Gavin growing this already? You're the baby of the household; you're not supposed to be growing up so fast yet.”

Ray laughed and slowly pulled away from her.

“Even with facial hair, he'll always be the _baby_ ,” Gavin teased as he now made his way down.

Griffon covered her mouth as she looked Gavin up and down; he was actually wearing a suit jacket unlike Ray who was just wearing a vest over his blue button down.

“I still remember when you two were so small,” Griffon gushed and she was going to squeeze Gavin's face, too, until she looked up and noticed Lindsay.

While she walked down the stairs, Michael got up from the couch and made his way over. Lindsay paused halfway down and looked at each of them.

“Why are you all staring at me? I'm just walking down the stairs.”

“I don't think we've seen any of you dressed up so fancy before,” Geoff told her, “And you just look as beautiful as ever.”

Lindsay smiled at him and continued her walk to the bottom floor.

Griffon turned to Michael, “Please take care of yourself, okay?”

Michael sighed and gave her a reassuring smile, “I'll be fine.”

“Okay, I'll see you when we get back,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him. Michael stiffened, but he did pat her back, and when she pulled away, he saw Gavin staring at him.

“Alright, let's get going,” Geoff said as he opened the front door and stood aside to allow everyone to walk out first.

“This dance better be good,” Ray mumbled on his way out, and Lindsay and Griffon followed after.

There was something Gavin wanted to tell Michael, but he really didn't know what exactly, so he merely smiled at Michael before turning around and walking out.

Geoff took a step out, but he turned around and said to Michael, “Call us if you need _anything_ , okay?”

Michael nodded and started heading into the kitchen while Geoff walked out and locked the door. Michael sighed in relief, finally able to be in peace. He went through the cabinets and grabbed whatever snacks he could find in sight before walking back to the couch. He really wasn't sure what he was in the mood to watch, but he grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels until he settled on a movie that looked semi interesting. And lied himself out on the couch as he opened up the new bag of chips.

The movie seemed to be about some woman who disappeared the night before her wedding and because of that, her fiancé and his ex girlfriend were suspects. Michael hated how into it he was getting, though. Although the story was played out in a way that he couldn't stop watching, even though it was still pretty terribly predictable. Bad movies were sometimes a guilty pleasure, though, and he was alone, so nobody needed to know that.

His bag of chips was getting emptier and the climax was inching closer when his eyelids started to grow heavy. He set the bag on the table and took a sip of his drink before curling up to himself. The last thing he saw was the fiancé talking to his ex girlfriend about how they both needed to get out of the state as fast as they could, that it would work in both their favor. The ex girlfriend was telling him how that was only going to make them look even guiltier and she definitely wasn't guilty of anything. Judging by the look on the fiancé's face, Michael already knew what he was going to say before he even said it, and just as he was saying it, Michael drifted off.

And it only felt like five minutes of sleep when he was abruptly awoken by the front door slamming shut. His first thought was that Geoff and Griffon had come home already, which was disappointing, because instead of enjoying his alone time, Michael had slept through it all.

He heard footsteps getting closer to him and he stiffened, because he was sure Geoff or Griffon would have said something by now. He was ready to jump up and defend himself when he heard what sounded like someone tripping, followed by a familiar voice mumble something he knew only one person would say.

“Bollocks.”

Michael relaxed and smiled as he looked over to find Gavin slowly walking up to him.

Gavin's eyes widened when he met Michael's and he stopped moving momentarily, “Did I wake you?”

Michael stretched and let out a yawn, answering Gavin's question.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly.

“It's okay, Gav. How was the dance?”

Gavin shrugged. “Exactly what you would expect. I didn't want to go, and now I know why.”

Michael licked his lips and picked up his phone from the coffee table to check the time, but he blinked hard. “It's only ten,” he pointed out, and Gavin nodded.

“I know, but I didn't want to be there any longer.”

Michael stood up from the couch, “Was it seriously that bad?”

“Yes, it was, but I think it would have been tolerable if...” Gavin trailed off as he looked down at his feet and smiled, “If you would have been there.” He waited for Michael to reply, but when Michael was silent too long, he forced himself to look back up.

Michael had this sort of unexplainable expression on his face; it wasn't harsh, it was soft with an almost hint of a smile daring to appear. Feeling a little uncomfortable with the silence, Gavin breathed out a laugh.

“Could you imagine us dancing together?” He asked Michael. “I think it would be a disaster.”

“Or completely fun,” Michael said as he stepped closer to him. Gavin held his breath once there was barely any space left between them.

“Y-yeah, it could be fun,” he admitted.

The corners of Michael's lips rose up slightly and Gavin had to swallow the lump in his throat when he felt a hand on his waist. He needed to relax; this was just Michael. But Michael wasn't just Michael. He was _Michael_ , and Gavin didn't want to look foolish in any way.

“Can you show me how much fun it could be?” He asked, mustering up all the confidence he had in him.

Michael's smile widened in the sweetest way that Gavin couldn't resist returning it. Interlocking fingers with Michael's free hand, Gavin bit down on his lower lip to stop himself from smiling even more. He placed his other hand on Michael's shoulder as Michael began to lead.

They mainly just slowly swayed together, barely moving their feet, but the closeness was what Gavin liked.

Michael certainly had a way of surprising him and Gavin couldn't complain, because it kept things interesting, and it also helped him get to know Michael better. So apparently Michael had no problem with dancing. Apparently he was a sort of romantic in his own way (considering that they were dancing to the voices of a lady describing some new product in an infomercial rather than music), and that thought alone made Gavin's heart tingle.

He looked Michael in the eyes and took a deep breath when Michael stared back into his. Michael really was beautiful, and the saddest thing about it was that Gavin was sure Michael had no idea.

Michael suddenly grinned and Gavin tilted his head slightly, ready to ask why until Michael slowly spun him. At first the Brit hesitated, but then he went along with it, because he was enjoying himself and his dance with Michael. It was probably better than any other dance he could have with someone else.

Once he was facing the other boy again, Gavin could no longer hold back; he tightened his grip on Michael's hand before pressing his lips against Michael's. The kiss only lasted slow and gentle for a moment until Michael took control and Gavin felt his hair being tugged at. He groaned slightly at the tug and he could feel Michael smiling before beginning to bit down on his lower lip. Gavin placed his hands on Michael's chest as he started to gradually push him. Michael pulled away from the kiss – though Gavin still kept their foreheads pressed together – to laugh, or rather giggle, when he felt the back of his knees touch the couch's armrest, and Gavin grinned.

Michael held onto Gavin as he let himself fall back and onto the couch; Gavin following right after.

Michael adjusted himself so he would lying on the couch better and after doing so, Gavin pressed down against him and their lips met again.

Gavin tangled his fingers in Michael's soft curls as he felt a warm tongue caressing his bottom lip; he parted his lips slightly, already feeling his heart begin to pound and his breathing picking up faster. Michael was holding him down to keep their bodies against each other, but Gavin broke free from his grip as he leaned up. Michael just stared up at him, his hands loosely resting on Gavin's back, but he moved them when he saw Gavin taking off his suit jacket. Gavin could feel his hands shaking a bit, but he didn't want to stop. He didn't know what exactly he wanted to happen, but he knew he wanted to be here with Michael, and kiss him over and over. He tossed his jacket aside, not even caring where it landed, and looked down at Michael. With the light coming from the TV, Gavin could see Michael's pupils dilated and he inhaled sharply.

Michael grinned before grabbing Gavin by his tie and gently pulling him down until their lips touched. Through their messy, quite rough, and _needy_ , kisses, Michael began to undo Gavin's tie, but he wasn't getting anywhere near successful with it from how fast and impatiently he was doing it. Gavin was ready to help him when the sound of the front door unlocking made him freeze. Michael noticed Gavin had stopped kissing and he opened his eyes to see the horrified expression on the blond's face.

“Michael, we're home!” Griffon called and Gavin squeaked before he jumped off of Michael. He wanted to hide, or at least get out of sight, but by the time he had caught his balance and was standing up correctly, Geoff and Griffon were already walking towards the living room. They both halted in their tracks at the sight of Gavin – eyes wide with messier hair than usual, lips looking swollen, his tie halfway undone and hanging crookedly from around his shirt's collar, and then there was his jacket off to the side on the floor.

Geoff took a few more steps forward and leaned over the couch to find Michael lying there – hair almost as messy and lips just as swollen as Gavin's.

“Hey Geoff,” Michael greeted casually as he looked up at the man. “How was your romantic night out?”

“It was nice,” Geoff answered, and then he looked over at Gavin. “I was about to ask why you were home so early, but I think I know why.”

Gavin could feel his cheeks begin to burn, so he looked down and closed his eyes. Griffon nudged Geoff and gave him a look, a look that Geoff knew meant to stop embarrassing Gavin. Michael sighed and quickly stood up from the couch.

“I'm gonna go to sleep,” he said as he walked around Gavin. He nodded at Geoff and smiled at Griffon before walking down the small hall to the staircase.

Griffon covered her mouth to hide her smile as she looked back at Gavin again; the poor boy was still blushing.

“M-Maybe I should get to sleep, too,” he finally spoke.

Geoff nodded. “Okay, well, you can tell me all about the dance tomorrow.”

Gavin seemed to turn even more red – if that was possible at this point – and he bent down to grab his suit jacket before hurrying off in the direction Michael had left in. Geoff chuckled slightly and shook his head.

“Gavin and Michael,” he said softly, “Who would've thought?” The smile on his face faltered, though, when he noticed the concern look on Griffon's face.

“They're adorable,” she then said, “I just hope there's no consequences.”

Geoff sighed as he looked up at the staircase before nodding.

 

* * *

 

Ray walked out of the restroom for the tenth time that night and it wasn't because he had to use it that much, but because he didn't know what else to do. So he would walk in there when he knew it was empty and let himself cool off by fanning his face or splashing water on it. This time that he walked out, he panicked a little. Each time he had walked out, he would immediately go back over to Gavin, but now he couldn't find him. His eyes scanned the crowd of teenagers dancing wildly to the music and he let out a sigh of relief when he spotted Kdin on the other side.

Kdin was grabbing himself a water bottle when Ray walked up to him.

“Hey, having fun?” He asked.

“Where the hell is Gav?”

Kdin raised an eyebrow at Ray before looking around for Gavin, “I thought he was with you.”

“And I thought he was with you.”

“Oh, did we lose Gavin again? Damnit, Ray.”

Ray grinned and shook his head, “This time it's your fault.”

“Yeah, I'll happily take the blame for losing a clumsy British kid.”

Ray shrugged and turned back to face the throng of people, most of which he didn't know, but through the little gaps, he spotted Miles dancing with Arryn. He laughed at the sight, because he couldn't even tell what Miles was trying to do, but Arryn seemed to be having so much fun with him.

“Hey guys,” Lindsay said to Ray and Kdin as she walked over to them.

“Oh, hey, do you happen to know where Gavin went?” Ray asked her.

Lindsay frowned and shook her head, “Did you check the restroom?”

“I was just in there.”

Lindsay opened her mouth and crossed her arms, “If he went home, I swear I'll kill him.”

Kdin almost spat out the water he was trying to swallow, but he managed to swallow before speaking, “He's not supposed to leave until we do. The whole idea was that we were going to be here to help Miles in case he needed it!”

“He mentioned to me earlier how he wanted to leave, but I didn't think he actually would,” Lindsay said.

“How _did_ he even leave?” 

“My best guess is that he just walked.”

Ray groaned, “I should walk home, too. I'm more bored than I ever am.”

Kdin set his bottle down on the table and grabbed Ray's wrist, “Let's dance, then.” Ray furrowed his eyebrows and tried pulling his wrist free.

“That's the last thing I want to do right now.”

“No, come on, Ray,” Kdin then looked over at Lindsay, “You, too. The three of us can dance together and just have fun with it until a slow song comes on.”

“Okay,” Lindsay happily agreed, and she grabbed Ray's other wrist.

Ray sighed and decided to give in before he could even be dragged onto the dance floor by them. While they went ahead and danced together, even if they didn't exactly know how to, Arryn pulled Miles away to meet up with Barbara, Kara, and Chris in the corner of the gym for a break. 

“I was wondering when you two were going to take a breather,” Barbara told them.

“I was almost worried Miles was going to pass out,” Chris joked and Miles gaped at him. 

“He was getting a bit too red, wasn't he?” Arryn asked as she gently patted Miles' face, and then she made a face as she put her hands down, “Oh, and sweaty.”

Barbara, Kara, and Chris laughed as Miles scoffed. 

The dance ended at about midnight and by that time, Ray was ready to fall asleep on the floor; Kdin and Lindsay actually had to hold onto him on their way to Barbara's mom's car because he was “too tired” to go on. 

They huddled into the backseat with Chris while Barbara sat up front with her mother, and Barbara couldn't help but laugh at how Ray snuggled up to Kdin. 

“He's an actual child,” Kdin mouthed to her. 

Lindsay grinned. “Did Miles, Arryn, and Kara get their own rides home?” She asked Barbara.

“Yep, and thank goodness for that, because we barely fit in here,” Barbara answered. 

Kdin looked over at Chris and held out his hand, “I feel like we never officially met. I'm Kdin.” 

Chris smiled at him as he shook his hand, “Nice to meet you, Kdin. I'm Chris.”

“And I'm hungry,” Barbara said. She looked at her mother with pleading eyes, “How about we stop somewhere for a quick snack?”

“Oh, yes, please!” Ray shouted as he sat up.

Mrs. Dunkelman raised her eyebrow at Barbara, but the corners of her lips rose as she nodded, “We won't waste too much time, though, because it is late and I don't want to be responsible-”

“Thanks, Mom!” Barbara cut her off by throwing her arms around her. 

“Jesus, Barb, what if she was already driving?” Lindsay asked, her tone teasing that Barbara merely smiled at her and Mrs. Dunkelman really did start driving out of the school parking lot. 

“Watch when Gavin finds out about this; he'll regret going home early like the weenie he is,” Kdin joked, a proud grin on his face. 

“Well, he had Michael to go home to, so I'm sure he had his own fun,” Ray casually commented as his eyes started to close again, though the silence had him opening them again to see why everyone was so quiet. He got the answer when they were all staring at him.

“Wait, what happened?” He asked, looking back and forth between each of them. 

“What do you mean?” Lindsay asked him, because it was clear no one else was going to.

Ray blinked hard and thought back to what he had just said, “I...” he scratched his head and shrugged, “I don't even know what I meant by that.”

The others all exchanged looks with each other and Ray just shut his eyes. Not wanting to be in the silence any longer, Barbara slowly moved her hand towards the radio.

“Nothing loud,” her mother warned, and Barbara nodded before turning it on.

 

 


	20. Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block has been kicking my ass. I think I'm getting over it, though, so now I'll be spending my time outlining more of this fic. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments or on tumblr (mogarsjones). Thanks to everyone who has been patient!!! 
> 
> T/w: some bullying, violence, and blood. Yep, the warnings have returned.

When Ray began to act up in strange ways, it was a bit overlooked. Everyone in the house did notice it, but they didn't want to ask any questions in case it was just them thinking something was wrong when really nothing wasn't. When the cold weather started to subside, it was like Ray was permanently back to his casual self, because it had marked about two months since he acted differently, so no one really worried anymore.

That is until today.

It appeared to be worse than before, because Ray just could _not_ stay still. Michael wanted to ignore it, but then Ray was constantly tapping his foot and pacing back and forth like he was contemplating something; it just wasn't something that could be easily ignored, especially when attempting to do homework.

“Ray, what the fuck?” Michael finally asked after a while of that nonsense and losing his concentration.

Ray stopped pacing and spun around to look at him, “What?” He sounded genuinely taken aback by Michael's question and attitude, which only further heightened Michael's suspicions.

“This shit is hard enough for me to understand without having to see you moving around so much from the corner of my eye.”

“Oh... man, I'm sorry.”

Michael sighed loudly and put his stuff aside to give Ray his full attention.

“What the fuck is wrong?”

For a moment, all Ray did was stare like a deer in the headlights – completely lost and baffled by the situation he found himself in, but then he was looking down at his feet.

“Nothing,” he muttered.

Michael raised an eyebrow as he stood up, “That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. You can't be wandering around in this room acting as nervous as you are and expect me to believe that you're okay.”

Ray opened his mouth to respond, but then Michael was quickly cutting him off.

“No, I have something to tell you first; I think everyone has been thinking it, but nobody has wanted to say anything about it to you, but I just can't keep quiet anymore,” Michael took a deep breath and stepped closer to Ray, “You don't have to tell me exactly what the hell it is, but Ray, I know there's something off about you. I've known for a long ass time now, so if you thought you were being clever in covering it up, you weren't.”

Ray breathed out a laugh as he looked at Michael again, “I don't even know what you're talking about.”

“Oh, really?” Michael asked that in such a bitter tone while narrowing his eyes at Ray that Ray had to turn away. Michael softened his expression and sighed.

“I'm just tired of seeing you seem so... different. You're not the same and whatever the reason is, I really hope you let it stop getting to you so much.”

“Michael-” But Ray was cut off by the sound of his phone vibrating loudly and continuously on his bed. He was looking at Michael for a long moment as if debating whether to ignore whoever was calling, but this time, Michael was the one to avert his eyes, and Ray hesitantly picked his phone up.

“I'm gonna get some water,” Michael mumbled as he hurried to door and stepped out.

Ray pressed the answer button and pressed his phone against his ear, but he waited until he heard Michael's footsteps become distant before he said anything.

“Hello?”

“Alright!” Geoff loudly said as he clapped his hands together and sat down on the couch. “What are we going to play next?”

“We can play anything; it honestly wouldn't bother me, especially because I'll win,” Gavin told him, sounding so confident in his words as he reached for his drink.

Michael raised an eyebrow at that, but he stayed quiet as he made his way down the stairs and over to them. He noticed the small room next to Gavin on the couch and decided to sit there. Gavin's eyes widened at his presence, but before Michael could turn to look at him, he picked up his controller and put his focus to the TV.

Griffon was just about to sit down on the sofa when her phone rang in her pocket. The only one who looked at her was Geoff and when Griffon saw the caller ID and gave Geoff a knowing look, he turned to Michael and held out his controller to him.

“Here, Michael,” he said, “How about you play for a while?”

Michael was going to refuse, but he had no choice, because Geoff was practically tossing the controller at him and he caught it. It was either catch it or watch it fall onto the floor like it meant nothing, and he couldn't do that.

Lindsay walked back to her sit after putting in another disk into their console. She started up the game and Michael went ahead and made himself comfortable.

“Ready to be beaten by the master?” Gavin asked him, sheer cockiness in his voice.

Michael licked his lips and looked at him, “I'm kind of used to Lindsay kicking my ass in these games, but I can't blame her for being good.”

As Lindsay laughed, Gavin gaped at Michael, and Michael smirked at him. While they played, Geoff and Griffon hid themselves upstairs so they didn't have to risk any of them listening in.

“Hello,” Griffon finally answered the call.

“Hi, Griffon, it's Sarah.”

Griffon looked at Geoff and Geoff crossed his arms, waiting for her to go on. Griffon took a deep breath and leaned against the wall of their bedroom.

“Are you calling about...” she trailed off, knowing she didn't have to say much for Sarah to know what she meant.

“Yes, because she called me again.”

“What did she want?”

“She asked about Gavin and how he was doing,” there was a pause, as if Sarah was trying to recollect her thoughts, “I started to question her, trying to figure out who she was and what she wanted, but then she just hung up.”

Griffon nodded, because that wasn't even slightly surprising.

“I told Geoff about this, and he and I both think it's Mrs. Free.”

“I was thinking the same thing. It doesn't make sense for it to be anyone else.”

“And what are we going to do if she really comes back into his life?”

Sarah sighed softly, “She won't be able to just _take_ Gavin back, but she is his birth mother.”

Griffon turned away from Geoff. One of the kids going back to their parents was always a possibility, especially if they were stable to care for them, and Griffon knew this so well, yet she couldn't help the ache that would grow inside each time that possibility came up. Geoff noticed and walked over to her, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Griffon?” Griffon blinked hard when she heard Sarah speak her name. She hadn't realized she'd been quiet so long.

“I'm still here,” she told her.

“As I've said before, I'll keep you updated if she calls again.”

Griffon shook her head, but she told Sarah she would speak to her later and ended the call. Geoff stared at her, neither of them saying a word until they heard another bedroom door open.

“Is that Ray?” Griffon asked.

Geoff shrugged, but he did open the door and step out into the hallway with Griffon following behind to find Ray heading towards the stairs.

“Hey buddy.”

Ray immediately halted in his tracks and seemed to hesitantly turn around to face them, “O-oh... hey guys. I was just heading out... I thought you guys were downstairs, so I was gonna tell you when I got...” he sighed in defeat, “down there.”

Griffon and Geoff looked at each other with raised eyebrows, because here was Ray with that secretiveness to him again. After the talk he had with Michael in their bedroom, Ray knew he couldn't leave Geoff and Griffon even more suspicious of him than they already were. He took a deep breath and grinned.

“I can't lie to you guys anymore,” he started and they both turned to stare at him questioningly, “I've been kind of... not doing my best in some classes and well, I was just gonna head over to the library to meet a few people from school there who agreed to help me.”

Geoff scoffed, “Like a little tutor session?”

“Yeah.”

Griffon blinked and Ray wanted to apologize for even trying to lie, but then the corners of Griffon's lips rose and she was speaking.

“Why didn't you just tell them to come over here?”

“Obviously Ray knows that this house is already full enough half the time,” Geoff told her.

Ray nodded furiously and pointed at him, “Exactly.”

Griffon crossed her arms as she looked back and forth between the two, but the innocent smile plastered across Ray's face had her unable to resist.

“Okay, well, I guess we'll see you later,” she said.

With another nod, Ray turned on his heel and quickly ran down the stairs while Griffon fully turned to face her husband.

“We'll have to keep an extra eye on him.”

Geoff sighed, but he did agree on that and they both started walking down the stairs to return to the living room with everyone else.

As soon as Ray stepped outside, he pulled out his phone and quickly typed in a message.

> Ray: Okay, I'm on my way.

He kept the phone in his hand as he took a few steps away from the house because he knew he would be getting a reply in one... two...

> Mom: Good. It's been too long since the last time I saw you.

And Ray couldn't even help the smile that formed on his face.

* * *

 

The one thing Gavin hated most about PE class was some of the sports they had to play and American football was probably one of the worst. Why were they even playing this sport in the Spring? Well, the answer was because the football field wasn't occupied during the Spring, so they were able to use it as much as they wanted, and that was annoying.

Gavin stood in the back of everyone with Kdin as their PE teacher started putting them into their teams along with the other PE teacher's class, because they really didn't care what team they were put into; it wouldn't make the game any more decent.

“Okay, Free, you go on over there,” Mr. Bradly placed his hand on Gavin's shoulder and pointed towards a group with his other.

Gavin looked over at the group and his eyes widened slightly when he saw Tim was in that one. _Perfect._ Tim didn't have the same teacher as his, so Gavin had been lucky to avoid any contact with him or David, but now his luck was up. With a frown, he made his way over to the group and made sure there was enough distance between him and Tim. He watched as Kdin was told to go to the other team, the one with David, and Gavin rolled his eyes.

Yeah, PE was definitely his least favorite class ever.

Gavin could see the look of discomfort on Kdin's face when Kdin looked over and noticed David staring at him, and he saw how amused David was by that. Gavin sneaked a glance at Tim to find that Tim was trying to stare at him in such a threatening way, but Gavin wasn't about to be intimidated. He turned away and merely started listening to the two PE teachers explain the rules of “flag football”.

Each time got different colored flags handed to them to wear around their waists before they were sent off to the field to get ready. Gavin was left behind momentarily as he tried adjusting the belt the flags were on around him.

“Any day now,” Tim grumbled as he shoved Gavin aside, causing Gavin to be pushed into the fence nearby. Tim laughed and began to run to join the others.

Gavin glared at him as he regained his balance and went back to fixing the belt.

“Free!” Mr. Bradly shouted, getting Gavin to jump a bit, “Hurry up!”

“Sorry sir!” Gavin called. He looked back down and tightened the belt before making his way over.

A few more rules were explained, like how there would be no tackling allowed, and then they were off to start their game. Kdin and Gavin gave each other a high five and headed to their rightful spots. Gavin felt bad at how nervous Kdin appeared to be and he just wanted to tell him not to pay Tim or David any attention, but once the game began, he couldn't. Everyone was running around and Gavin hardly knew what to even do, because, admittedly, he hadn't listened to a word the teachers had said. But he did run wherever he saw his teammates running just so he could look like he was actually trying to play.

The ball was never thrown to him and for that he was definitely grateful, but that only caused him to be completely surprised, and baffled, when he felt himself hit the rough grass. He hadn't fallen or tripped, but he had been tackled by no other than David, and although David was grinning like he had just done the most hilarious thing ever, he jumped up to his feet and apologized. Gavin snarled at him and got up as he quickly as he could without the help David was offering; he was almost pissed that no teacher saw that. He wiped himself off a bit and went back to trying to figure out what was going on with the game.

As he started running around again, he noticed the way Tim and David gave each other a thumbs up, and that was enough to push his buttons. He stayed still a moment and heard someone call David's name, and then he saw the ball flying towards David. Of course David caught it with no problem, much to Gavin's annoyance, and David took off in the other direction with it. Without really thinking about it, Gavin went after him. It didn't take him long to get close enough to jump and tackle David to the ground. The two went tumbling over a bit as one of the teachers blew their whistle.

“I said NO TACKLING!” Mr. Bradly shouted at the two.

“Yeah, get the fuck off me,” David mumbled as he pushed Gavin away and got up on his feet.

Gavin squinted his eyes at him before getting up as well. They all resumed back to the game as if nothing happened and Gavin really did try to ignore David, but he couldn't shake the anger he was feeling. David was just having the time of his life, thinking he was hilarious for what he was doing.

It wasn't even too long after that Gavin was on the floor again, and this time by Tim, but Gavin had had enough by now and didn't even care if any teacher was looking. He grabbed Tim by the shoulders and rolled him over to pin him underneath.

“You little prick!” Gavin growled at him, but he felt arms being wrapped around him seconds later. He expected it to be a teacher, though he found it was only David, and that did nothing to calm him down. As he started to squirm against David, a whistle was blown again and David dropped Gavin.

“You know what? I've had enough of you three!” Mr. Bradly told them, then he pointed towards another field, “You boys are going to run five laps and I don't want you back here until they're completed! Do you understand?!”

“See what you did?!” David practically spat at Gavin as he walked passed him. Gavin wrinkled up his nose as he watched the two boys walk off; he was in no hurry to make that walk to the field with them.

He purposely trailed behind, wishing he could have just contained his anger, but they had been pissing him off since the start of class and he just couldn't help it anymore. Although, letting his hatred for them come out wasn't even worth the five laps they now had to run. Gavin told himself to just jog the whole time, because the quicker he finished those laps, the quicker he could go back to everyone else. Running them as fast as he could wouldn't do him any good; he knew he would just get tired right away if he did that. So as soon as they all made it to their destination, he started to run, but he barely made it a few inches when he felt himself being yanked back by his arms.

Kdin wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and pursed his lips, because he was even more nervous now than he had previously been. At least when Tim and David had been there, they were under watch; now they were out there alone with Gavin and Kdin didn't like the thought of that. Failing to even play anymore, Kdin turned to his teacher and asked, “Hey, Mr. Bradly. Can I go run a lap, too?”

Mr. Bradly furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the kid, “Are you seriously asking me if you can go run, Jenzen?” Kdin nodded. Mr. Bradly sighed and nodded towards the baseball field. Kdin smiled at him and took off in that direction. He knew his teacher would do anything to make his students run more.

Gavin wasn't even sure what hit his face, because the sun was blinding him from where he was laying, but if he had to bet, he would say Tim or David had kicked him there. And then there was a kick to his stomach, and another, and another. Gavin felt the air being completely knocked out of him with each kick; he was gasping for some air at this point, and just when he thought he would pass out, one of them grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him off from the ground. Gavin could hardly stand, though, and his head felt as though it was spinning. The punch he received in his face only increased that dizziness, but just as he thought he would get hit again and hard enough to let him black out, they let go of him.

He was ready to fall back onto the floor, but he fell into someone's arms instead. He could taste some sort of metal, but then he realized it was blood, though he couldn't tell if it was from his lip or from inside his mouth.

“Gavin,” a voice was speaking, the voice of the person holding him, “Gavin, they're gone. You're okay now. Hey, look at me.” Gavin lifted his head to see who it was, but his eyes fluttered shut instead and he went weak in the person's arms.

“Gavin!”

Gavin gasped and opened his eyes again, but he cringed and squinted them because the sun was hitting his face. He was laying on the grass – that was about all he could comprehend; that and the throbbing on his face and the ache in his stomach.

“Come on, Free,” another voice said, “Look at me.”

Gavin blinked hard and looked over to see his classmates standing around, staring at him in horror, but some of them seemed to sigh in relief when he looked at them.

“I'm right here, Gavin,” that voice from earlier said, the one of the person who had caught him. Gavin managed to look to the his left to find Kdin kneeling next to him. Gavin slowly began to sit up and spit out a mixture of saliva and blood. He could hear some of his classmates let out a noise of disgust, but he didn't care. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and he gasped again to see how much blood smeared over it.

“Let's get you to the nurse,” Kdin said. Gavin nodded and allowed Kdin to help start getting him up. He had to hold onto his friend, because he still felt dizzy as ever, and the heat wasn't helping.

“Okay, Jenzen, you get him to the nurse,” Mr. Bradly said. He looked over to a student and pointed at them, “You go run and see if you can find the suspects,” the student nodded took off.

“Everyone else,” Mr. Bradly looked around the circle, “get back to the lockers and dress out. You got ten minutes until your next class. Now come on! Let's go!” He clapped loudly and everyone took off.

Kdin was slow with walking Gavin back into the school building and towards the nurse's office.

The nurse ended up calling home and Geoff dropped everything he was doing to go over there. Gavin was more than relieved about this, since he saw it as a way that he would be able to lie down and soothe his pounding head with the ice pack the nurse had given him after cleaning him up, but Geoff would not shut it with the questions on the drive home.

“Who the fuck were those assholes? Gavin, you better tell me! You're not trying to protect them, are you? Do you think you'll be made fun of for telling on their asses?”

Gavin groaned and closed his eyes as a way to tell Geoff that he wasn't answering anything, but it didn't work.

“Why would they even do this to you-”

“Geoff, please!” Gavin cut him off as he sat up and looked at him.

Geoff only gave him a quick side glance before sighing and facing forward again, “I want to know, Gavin. Were these two just bullying you or-”

“It's none of your business,” Gavin interrupted him once more as he turned his attention out the window.

Geoff would have argued against that, but he could see that Gavin was seriously not going to talk about it, so he was silent for the rest of the ride home. Griffon still wasn't home, so Gavin had to wait for Geoff to get out of the car and unlock the front door. As soon as the door was opened, Gavin wanted to rush upstairs, but Geoff stopped him.

“Gavin, wait, let me make sure you're okay,” Geoff told him.

Gavin turned around and Geoff visibly cringed at the sight of a black eye and sightly swollen upper lip. There was also a cut on his lower lip, but that had stopped bleeding already, and thank goodness for that. Geoff gently cupped Gavin's face as he looked it over, trying to figure out just how long the bruises would take to heal. He ran one hand up to Gavin's head and now Gavin was the one that cringed.

“How hard did _they_ hit you there?” Geoff asked.

“I don't know, Geoff, so just don't touch it,” Gavin answered, sounding just as in pain as he looked.

Geoff put his hands down and nodded towards the staircase, “Go on upstairs. I'll bring you up something to drink and new ice for your head.”

Gavin nodded and handed him the ice pack before turning and walking up the steps. It was about an hour later that Ray, Michael, and Lindsay came home, and Gavin knew exactly when they walked in.

“Where is he?!” Lindsay frantically asked as she hurried into the living room, but she didn't find who she was looking for.

Geoff was in the kitchen fixing up something for Gavin when he heard the three of the barge into the house. He turned around to see Ray and Michael still standing by the door, looking as concerned as Lindsay was.

“He's in his room, _but!_ ” He had to shout that last word to stop Michael from running up there, and Michael did stop, “I don't think you should all be going up there right now. How did you all already find out, anyway?”

“Kdin told us,” Ray replied.

Lindsay made her into the kitchen and threw her hands up, “I hate to admit this, but Kdin didn't need to tell us; everyone's talking about it at school.”

“Because no one there has anything better to talk about,” Ray added.

Michael rolled his eyes and shook his head, “None of that matters, because Gavin has other things to worry about than a stupid reputation, which is why I have to go talk to him,” he started going up the stairs and didn't listen this time when Geoff told him to stop.

“Don't worry, Geoff, Michael just wants to make sure Gavin's okay,” Lindsay told him.

Geoff rubbed his face and nodded, “Yeah, alright.”

“I also don't think you have to worry about Gavin's safety at school.”

“How can I not? If those assholes think it's okay to kick Gavin around during class, what makes you think they won't do it during some other time at school?”

Lindsay smiled softly as she placed a hand on his shoulder, “Because those assholes were expelled.”

Geoff's eyes widened slightly, but he saw Ray nodding in confirmation that Lindsay was telling the truth, and it felt as if weight had been lifted off him.

Michael had to take deep breaths on his way up to Gavin's room, because he didn't want to seem angry at Gavin, but he was _angry,_ and he almost wasn't sure if he could hide that. He bit down on his lower lip as he opened the bedroom door and stepped in. Gavin sat up at the sound of someone entering his room, but he relaxed when he saw it was Michael, and he offered him a crooked smile, but it quickly faded when he noticed the death glare on Michael's face.

“They started it,” he said nonchalantly.

Michael's eye seemed to twitch as he tilted his head and stared at Gavin, “Do you think this is funny?”

Gavin snorted, “Michael, my head, face, and stomach hurts; none of this is funny to me.” Michael's expression softened at that, especially when he really took in how Gavin's face looked. He knew all too well how much those marks hurt.

“It's all my fucking fault,” he said under his breath, “They did this because of me.”

Gavin set the small bag of ice that he had been holding up to his head aside and looked up at Michael with a frown, “This wasn't your fault.”

“It's about me, Gavin, so yeah, it is my fault.”

“No, it isn't, because I got involved, so this makes it about me, too.”

Michael curled his hands into fists as he looked away, “This is why I didn't you getting involved.”

“Well, I'm just happy they didn't go after Miles, Ray, or Kdin... especially Miles, considering he did throw in a punch at one of them.”

“Like you being the one they went after makes it any better?!” Michael asked as he turned back to face him and Gavin couldn't deny that there was actual dismay in Michael's tone and eyes, and it was as if any anger Michael just had was now utterly gone.

Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat and shrugged, because he had never seen Michael with such a look before, and he just didn't know what to say. Michael let out a soft sigh as he averted his eyes and crossed his arms.

“They got expelled, you know,” he then said quietly that Gavin probably wouldn't have heard if he wasn't paying attention.

“Did they?”

Michael nodded and Gavin smiled at him a little.

“Well, then we have nothing to worry about,” he told Michael.

“I don't know,” Michael mumbled, still avoiding eye contact.

Gavin was hesitant at first before he got up from his bed and stepped right in front of Michael, but Michael kept his head down.

“Thanks for worrying about me,” Gavin whispered to him.

Michael breathed out a laugh as he looked up, “It's not that I was _worried,_ I just...” he trailed off as his eyes shifted down to stare at Gavin's lips, specifically his upper one.

Gavin brought his hand up to his lips and grinned as best as he could, even though it really didn't look like a grin in the end, “I think it looks worse than it is,” but he gasped a bit when Michael grabbed his hand and put it away from his face.

“That's bullshit,” he said, the hint of irritation from earlier vaguely coming through, “because you know it hurts exactly the way it looks.”

Gavin didn't even have to ask how Michael knew that; he merely nodded and looked down at the hand Michael hadn't let go of yet. He wanted to smile again, except, smiling was sort of a struggle at the moment, and Michael could tell that it was too, since he gave Gavin's hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go and walking out of there.

 


	21. Twenty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains extremely small hints at sexual abuse, but it's really almost nothing, yet I still do need to give a warning just in case. Oh and some child neglect, and that's all more towards the end of the chapter.

People had a tendency to stare when they noticed something was off, or just when anything in particular catches their attention; Gavin's face happened to be that particular thing the next day at school. He wanted to block it all out, because it was all just childish jokes aimed at him about how he couldn't even fight back; basically everything he wanted to roll his eyes at. It was like no one had any ounce of sympathy over the fact that he possibly could have been beaten to death. No one cared to care, at least no one that didn't know him. His friends all rushed to him at his locker before first period to check up on how he was doing.

“You didn't reply to any of my text messages! I was worried sick!” Miles told him, crossing his arms and giving Gavin a disappointed look.

Gavin merely smiled at him.

“Just be happy that they're gone,” Kdin said.

“Thank God, because I have enough things to worry about,” Ray mumbled, mostly to himself, but Gavin did hear a bit and due to that, he squinted his eyes slightly at Ray for a moment before moving on.

“I guess so.”

“No, there's nothing to _guess_ about that,” Gavin turned around at the sound of that voice and found Lindsay walking up to them with Arryn. He should have known they were nearby, or at least that Arryn was, considering the sudden huge smile that appeared on Miles' face.

Arryn hissed through her teeth as she saw got a better look at the bruises on Gavin's face.

“Oh, ouch,” she whispered.

Gavin forced himself to grin, but it was still quite painful to do so, “Uh, hurts more than it looks?”

“Really?”

And then that grin was immediately off his face as he shook his head, because there was no point in trying to hide the clear truth.

“No,” he said in defeat as he looked down at his feet. The sound of laughter made him face forward again and just as he expected, the laughter was directed at him by a few people he'd seen in some of his classes.

His friends all followed his gaze and huffed when they noticed the laughs.

“It's pretty sad that they apparently have nothing better to do,” Lindsay commented, loud enough for the group of people to hear her, and that got them to stop laughing immediately as they glared at her.

As they walked off, Miles held up his hand, “Alright, Linds! High five!” He said cheerfully.

Lindsay smiled and clapped her hand against his, but then they were all startled by a hand slamming against the lockers. They turned their heads to find the source of the slam, but it was only Blaine, and behind him stood Kyle and Chris. Gavin looked away when he saw it just them, but Blaine gently grabbed his chin and turned his head until Gavin was facing him again.

“I thought Michael was just exaggerating how badly these were, but sadly, he wasn't,” Kyle said as he and Blaine looked over Gavin's face.

Gavin slowly pulled away and furrowed his eyebrows at them, “Why aren't you three with Michael?”

“Yeah, shouldn't he be with you guys?” Ray asked.

“I'd prefer if he was,” Miles said as he started to slide behind Kdin.

Blaine smiled at him and shook his head, “He's in the restroom peeing, and we just wanted to make sure Gavin was okay,” he lifted his hand again, but this time, he merely patted Gavin's shoulder.

“Why do you care?” Gavin questioned, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Kyle raised an eyebrow at him and answered, “Because we hated Tim and David as much as you did, and we don't think it's fair that they did this to you.”

“And again, we were _hoping_ Michael was just exaggerating,” Chris added, giving Gavin a soft smile.

“Did you hear that, Miles?” Kdin asked as he looked at him over his shoulder, “Now stop hiding. You should at least already know not to be scared of Chris.”

Miles didn't say anything but stick his tongue out at Kdin. The bell rang and Lindsay quickly wrapped her arms around Gavin. Gavin returned the hug, even giving her a small squeeze.

“See you later,” Lindsay said as she pulled away, and he nodded.

Arryn grabbed Miles' hand and said, “Come on, Miles. Our class is this way.” And Miles, grinning now, told the rest goodbye before following Arryn.

Ray waited behind a little until he remembered his class was pretty far from where they were.

“Man, I'll talk to you at lunch,” he told Gavin, and then he headed off in another direction.

Gavin turned to smile and say his goodbyes to Blaine, Kyle, and Chris, but his eyes widened at the sight of Michael walking up behind Chris. The three boys noticed that and looked over to smile at their friend. Michael hardly paid them any attention as the corners of his mouth rose when he made eye contact with Gavin. Gavin wanted to stick around and talk, but he knew he had plenty of other opportunities to talk to Michael, so he gave him a half smile back and went on his way.

It was the worst having to go to school with a face that felt too sensitive to any little touch, because when Gavin wanted to rub his eyes as an attempt to stay awake in class, he would end up cringing at how much doing that hurt. His classmates would turn to look at him and would either giggle to themselves or seem horrified at the sight. That happened all throughout the day, because it started to happen on purpose; Gavin would constantly touch his face to figure out what exactly hurt the most, but on the bus, Ray held his hand down so he wouldn't do that anymore.

“You keep saying 'ow' every time you touch your face,” he stated.

Gavin blinked and tilted his head, “So?”

“So stop touching your damn face!” Ray threw his hands up, “It's not that hard.”

“I'm just hoping that it'll stop hurting.”

“Well it won't if you keep messing with it.”

“By 'it', do you mean a particular bruise or my whole face?”

“Your whole-” Ray paused and sighed instead.

Gavin smiled apologetically at him and turned to look out the window. Ray tapped his fingers on his lap and kept checking his phone, but the more nothing would be received, the more impatient he would become. He tried not moving around too much to not risk getting Gavin's attention, but he almost couldn't help it.

Lindsay was sitting next to Michael and although Michael was peacefully staring outside, she began talking to him.

“You and your friends aren't planning on getting any revenge, are you?”

Michael's eyebrows twitched together before he looked at her, “Don't think I have to since getting expelled was punishment enough.”

“Okay, good, but I was just asking because... well, I've seen you angry before, but never like that. It really looked like you were ready to kill.”

“I was pissed, Lindsay, because they decided to attack Gavin instead of me; the person they were really going after,” Michael shook his head, “I didn't think it was fair.”

Lindsay took a deep breath and sat up in her seat, “It shouldn't have happened to any of you. I mean, look at Gavin,” she nodded towards him, “I want to give him a big hug, but then I feel like I'll hurt him if I do that. I mean, was _very_ gentle with him this morning when I hugged him, and _I_ don't like being gentle with my hugs.”

“It still should have been me,” Michael murmured as he sat back. He folded his hands on top of his backpack that was currently resting on his lap and Lindsay placed her hand on his. Michael looked at her face again and saw her smiling at him.

“Shut the hell up, Michael,” she said, in probably the sweetest voice Michael's ever heard that Michael actually laughed a little.

When Ray's constant shifting around annoyed Gavin enough, he turned back to him to tell him something, but his gaze was quickly drawn to Michael and Lindsay. Ray was ready to apologize for what he was going until he noticed the gaze and looked in that direction.

“What's wrong?” He asked Gavin, though he was still staring at Michael and Lindsay, trying to figure out what wasn't right with that picture for himself. All they were doing was laughing with each other...

Gavin forced himself to face forward instead as he shook his head, “I may have spaced out for a moment.”

Ray breathed out a laugh and nodded, “Yeah, I know how that is.” Gavin smiled weakly at Ray before going back to staring out the window, because he wanted to somehow ignore the aching feeling that was increasing inside him.

Although, once they reached their bus stop, Michael walked with Gavin since Gavin decided to take his time walking to the house.

“Feeling okay there, Gav?” Michael asked him.

“Oh, I'm feeling great! How are _you_?” How sarcastic Gavin sounded made Michael refrain from answering. The two just walked the rest of the way in silence with Ray and Lindsay in front of them, equally as quiet. Michael wasn't going to say anything about it, but that was before Gavin wouldn't stop acting like something was off the rest of the night.

At dinner, Gavin did sit next to Michael, but never once did he look up from his plate, not even when Griffon asked him a few questions about his day. He would answer her, but only in mumbles, and though everyone found that strange, they didn't want to hassle him. Michael, however, couldn't leave it at that. As almost every single day, everyone retreated to the living room once the kitchen was cleaned up and leftovers were put away, but as Michael expected, Gavin hid away upstairs.

So, Michael followed.

Gavin tried running into his bedroom, but Michael was quick and caught him on time by grabbing his wrist.

“You're avoiding me,” he started. Gavin barely glanced at him, so Michael went on and asked, “Why?”

“I'm not,” Gavin whispered.

Michael let go of his wrist, making Gavin fully turn to him.

“Are you mad at me for what happened?” Michael practically demanded, “Because if you are, then I get it! I'm mad at me too and-”

“Michael, no,” Gavin cut him off by placing his hands on his shoulders, “I wouldn't be mad at you over something that isn't your fault.”

“Then why the fuck are you acting like you can't even stand me?”

Gavin's eyes flickered down to stare at Michael's lips, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He was going to answer, but then he heard someone coming up the stairs, and he took a step away from Michael instead. Lindsay halted in her tracks once she made it to the top, and she smiled at them.

“Was I interrupting something?” She asked in that utterly friendly voice of hers that Gavin wasn't surprised at the smile that formed on Michael's face.

Gavin had never felt jealousy before, at least not like this. He remembered being envious of other children who talked endlessly about how their fathers were their heroes, because he had no idea how it was to look up at his father and think, “I want to be like you when I grow up.” But this wasn't that kind of jealousy, the jealousy of wanting a different life; this was the typical jealousy anyone could feel when their crush had a possible interest in someone else. Those were only assumptions he was making that probably weren't even true, yet jealousy was making it difficult to not jump into any conclusions that didn't end in his favor. He couldn't even tell if the way Michael was staring at Lindsay was platonic or not, or vise-versa.

Nonetheless, he hated being in the middle of it. When the hell did they get so close anyway? Or had they always been this close?

“We were just talking about school,” Michael told Lindsay, and Gavin wanted to roll his eyes.

He knew he could merely tell Lindsay about his feelings for Michael so he wouldn't feel like he was about to explode over them, but Michael had to be on board with that as well first.

Lindsay nodded, seeming to buy Michael's answer, so with another smile, she walked off towards her bedroom. The way Michael watched her go made Gavin scoff quietly, and a part of him felt bad for feeling jealous of Lindsay when he absolutely adored her – still, it was something he couldn't shake.

“I'm going to take a shower,” Gavin said as he opened the door to his room.

Michael turned to him with furrowed eyebrows, “Well that's not the bathroom.”

“Well I have to get my clothes first, don't I?” Gavin snapped as he started to do just that.

“Gavin...” Michael spoke softly, though he stopped right there as soon as he realized he had nothing to really say.

Gavin only shot him a glare on his way out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom. He knew very well he could have handled that in such a better way, yet he wasn't going to deny just how bitter he was about the situation. As he turned on the water in the shower, he mentally told himself to stop acting childish about it as best as he could, though.

So despite that night, Gavin ended up on a somewhat better term with Michael afterward; he didn't particularly avoid him anymore, but he wasn't fully acting all cheerful around him as usual either. There was one too many times where Michael was ready to jump up and confront him about it again, but each time, something or someone would get in the way. The next day at school when he attempted, Kdin stepped in and started talking to Gavin about something, and Michael was going to wait around until Kdin was finished, but that boy had so much to say that Michael gave up and left. Then there was a moment as they waited for the bus where Gavin was being talked to or acknowledge and it was like the _perfect_ time, but as Michael neared him, the bus arrived and he was being pushed around as everyone tried getting on.

He figured he could find the right time to do so during the weekend since everyone seemed to have plans, except for him, Gavin, and Geoff.

Geoff was occupied with making calls for most of the afternoon, though, so Michael took that opportunity to make his move. Lindsay had left a bit earlier to meet up with her friends at the mall, and Griffon went out to buy a specific kind of wood for her next project, but Michael forgot that Ray hadn't left yet, and he was sidetracked by him running his way down the stairs as Michael walked up them.

Michael moved out of the way for him, but he had to say something, “I would have laughed if you fucking tripped and fell over from how fast you were going.”

Ray skidded to stop once he reached the door and turned around to look at Michael.

“Well, I'm in a hurry,” he said.

“For what?”

Ray looked down as he scratched his head, “To meet someone,” he mumbled.

“Who?” Michael didn't want to sound like an overly protective, or demanding, person about this, but with Ray, he felt the need to.

“It's... you don't know her...”

Michael raised his eyebrows and was ready to say more, though he could see that Ray clearly wanted to just leave already. He simply looked away and continued his way upstairs. As he heard the front door open and close, he turned back around and headed back down. Geoff was still on the phone, but from the sounds of it, it wouldn't be long. Michael reached the end of the small hall that led to the living room and leaned against the wall as he waited.

“Yeah... yeah, that sounds like the best idea we've got,” Geoff said to whoever he was on the phone with while Michael crossed his arms and sighed.

“Okay, so I can get back to you on that later, then?” Michael found it quite amusing how Geoff would nod as he listened to the person speak. They were on the _phone_ , for goodness sake.

“Alright, great! I'll talk to you tomorrow... okay, bye,” and with that, Geoff pulled his phone away from his ear and set it on the coffee table.

Michael chewed on his lower lip as he started to contemplate what he was about to do, but he decided to just go for it.

“Geoff,” he spoke.

Geoff looked at him over his shoulder and smiled lazily, “Hey buddy, what's going on?”

Michael walked over and took a seat next to him on the couch, because he really couldn't believe what he felt like he _needed_ to talk to Geoff about.

“I'm...” he took a deep breath to gather his thoughts before going on, “I'm worried about Ray.” He refused to look Geoff in the eye as he talked.

“You are?” Geoff asked, and Michael nodded, “I have to admit that I am too. I know he has his days where he's just-”

“Not really himself,” Michael finished for him as he turned his head to face him.

“Yeah, I've been wanting to talk to him about it, but I'm not sure if he would talk to me about it.”

“I've tried asking him and it didn't work out,” Michael shrugged, “Whatever the hell is going on is apparently too private to talk about with any of us.”

“Well, you know, we all need our privacy.”

“I get that, but what bugs me is that no matter how private it may be, it's weighing him down.”

Geoff sighed quietly and placed a hand on Michael's back, “I have a good feeling that, when the time is right, he'll talk to us.”

Michael averted his eyes, because he wasn't quite sure about that, though he wished he could be.

 

* * *

 

Ray had arrived at the address around ten minutes earlier, yet he was still merely staring up at the house, feeling frozen in place. The house looked exactly the same, like no one had touched it in years, which didn't surprise him; his mother wasn't always one to decorate... or clean... or really care about anything that wasn't her “medicine”, and it seemed the first two things remained true.

But the house seriously appeared to be practically abandoned that Ray wondered if his mother had sent them there just so the memories could come back to haunt him. Perhaps she didn't even live there anymore.

No...

She had to.

She wouldn't do that to him... at least not anymore. Ray did believe she had changed; he could see it in the way she'd been treating him the many times they'd seen each other at the park. She wasn't the cold-hearted woman that only looked out for herself. People did have it them to change, and Ray couldn't be happier about that fact.

With slightly shaky hands and a deep breath, he made his way up to the front door he used to know so well. He thought about ringing the doorbell, but then he figured he could just knock... or maybe he could text her and tell her he was there... no, knocking was the best choice. He raised his fist to do so until the door opened and Ms. Narvaez stood on the other side, a small smile on her face.

“I saw you come up a while ago, but I waited to see if you would go up to the door. And then I just got too tired of waiting,” she told him.

Ray let out a laugh and shook his head, “Yeah, sorry. I was pretty much asking myself what I was doing here.”

“Did you get your answer, or do you want to leave?”

Ray slowly frowned at her as every little ounce of regret started overfilling him. His mother moved aside and nodded towards the couch (that same damn couch).

“If you're deciding to stay, you can come _right_ in,” she said.

It would have been so easy for Ray to walk away from what he was about to put himself through, but from wanting to hold on to that belief that his mother was finally the mom he'd so desperately wanted as a kid, he walked inside. Looking around and seeing everything he remembered from years ago was like being slapped in the face with all the horrible memories, and it was honestly terrifying. The steps to the couch felt much longer than needed, but to relax his nerves, he started to think about anything else to ignore the memories of himself in this very house.

“Can I get you anything?” Ms. Narvaez asked, snapping him out of his thoughts completely.

Ray spun around to face her and shook his head, “No, I'm good.” And he hesitantly sat down.

“ _You better still be there on the couch when I get back,” Ms. Narvaez said to Ray as she started to gather her things._

_Ray grabbed one of the throw pillows and hugged it tightly in his arms, because he knew that would be the only way he was going to feel comfortable being home alone._

“ _Promise you won't take too long?” He asked._

_Ms. Narvaez laughed, but instead of answering, she merely walked out of the house. It probably was a good thing that she didn't promise, because no promise was ever kept with her anyway._

It was as if something was bubbling up inside him – anger, emptiness? He wasn't sure, but it was what made him ask the question he never thought he could ask.

“Why did you leave me alone so many times? I mean, I was only a kid. I wasn't even a two digit age yet.”

Ms. Narvaez sighed as she made her way over and sat down next to him. “Because I was a terrible mother,” she began, “I thought I was just having fun, going out every night, but I never realized that I had someone else important to look after.” There was a sense of actual guilt in her voice that made Ray feel bad for even asking at all.

“I guess it could have been worse,” he mumbled.

“No, don't try to make me seem less awful than I was. I need to own up to my mistakes and know _exactly_ what I did wrong.”

“At least you never hit me the way...” Ray swallowed roughly, “the way I know someone was.”

Ms. Narvaez tilted her head as she examined her son's face, “Who?”

Ray wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and sighed, “Just one of the other kids I live with, but I don't want to talk about it. It's not my business.”

“Of course, and we don't have to.”

Ray wanted to sigh again, and this time in relief, but he just smiled at her.

“You know, when I got here, I thought I was making the stupidest decision ever,” he told her.

“Oh, really?”

“Yep.”

“And what do you think now?”

“I'm glad I came,” Ray said as his smile widened.

Ms. Narvaez returned the smile as she placed a hand on his thigh, and that was enough to make Ray's falter. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at her hand. That could have been harmless, but then she started moving it.

“I'm glad you came, too,” he heard her say, “You've grown up so much.”

Ray tried swallowing again, but suddenly the lump in his throat was too much to get rid of.

 

* * *

 

“You know what I just remembered?” Geoff asked Michael as they both set their controllers down on the coffee table. After their talk about Ray, they decided to play a few games together, considering they had never played together, and thankfully, it helped with getting Michael's mind off everything during the hour and a half they spent doing that.

“What?” He questioned Geoff.

“I have to go to the store and buy some things to make dinner tonight; we don't have shit here,” Geoff said as he got up from where he was sitting.

Michael grinned and shook his head.

“Are you craving anything specific?” Geoff asked, “Anything I can bring you back?”

“I think I'm fine,” Michael answered. He stood up as well to start putting everything away.

“Okay, then I'll be back in an hour or less, depending.”

Michael turned off the console and turned to Geoff with a raised eyebrow, “On what?”

“Long lines and traffic,” Geoff told him with a smirk, “See you later.”

Michael nodded and waved at him as he watched him walk out the front door. It was only four PM and he already felt tired of being awake. A nap sounded like an absolute wonderful idea – he only hoped he could actually get himself to fall asleep. So once everything was put away and cleaned up in the living room, Michael headed upstairs, but he found himself running into the person he almost forgot was still there.

“God damnit, Gavin, watch where the hell you're going,” he grumbled.

“ _Me?_ I don't see you trying to watch where _you're_ going,” Gavin responded, his eyes slightly narrowed.

“Oh, you're going to start with that attitude again?”

“What attitude?!”

“That stupid attitude you've been giving me for the past two days!”

Gavin rolled his eyes and Michael widened his in anger.

“Don't you fucking roll your eyes at me!” He snapped.

“Michael, you're being overly dramatic.”

“ _I'm_ being dramatic? Look who's talking!”

“When have _I_ ever been dramatic?”

“Well, you've...” Michael trailed off and scratched his head as he tried thinking of a good example; there was plenty, he knew that, but he couldn't remember a single one at the moment.

Gavin raised his eyebrows and said, “I'm waiting.”

Michael wrinkled up his nose at him and put his hand down.

“Shut the hell up,” he almost yelled.

Gavin opened his mouth to say more, but the sound of the door opening and slamming caught him off guard. Michael assumed it was just Geoff coming back for something he forgot, and because of that, he turned around with a amused look on his face only to find that it wasn't Geoff.

Ray was leaning against the door, his eyes shut tightly and seeming to breathing heavily. Michael and Gavin exchanged looks before turning back to Ray.

“Hey,” Michael spoke, getting Ray to jump in fear, “Whoa, hey... sorry. I didn't mean to scare you... but uh, are you okay?”

Ray visibly shivered, yet he nodded as he replied, “Y-yeah, I'm okay... I'm great,” and his voice was barely a whisper.

“No, you aren't! Otherwise you wouldn't be bloody shaking!” Gavin remarked.

Michael glared at him as he said through clenched teeth, “Yeah, way to state the obvious, you fucking idiot.” Gavin pouted at him, but Michael looked away and focused his attention on Ray again.

Ray was staring up at them now with an expression on his face that Michael easily recognized – one that screamed “help”, but also one that meant he wasn't going to ask for it. He made his way up the stairs and passed them, and Michael immediately followed after. Gavin waited behind, wondering if it was best that he went too; then he quickly chose to join them.

“Ray, what happened?” Michael asked him as they walked into their bedroom.

Ray got onto his bed and basically curled up to himself, and avoided meeting Michael's eye, “W-why would you think something happened? Nothing...” he looked up to stare at the wall, his eyes noticeably watery, “Nothing happened.”

“Don't you dare fucking lie to me, Ray. I know something had to have happened, and I need you to tell me, because I can try helping you-”

“You can't help me. No one can.”

Michael's expression softened and he took a few steps towards him, but he stopped when he saw how Ray curled up more the closer he got.

“What do you mean we can't help you?” Gavin asked him, staying in the same spot near the doorway.

“It's just... you can't,” Ray choked softly, “I-it's... my fault, and I... you... can't fix it.”

“Yes, we can. We can _definitely_ try, Ray. We've always been there for each other, and whatever happened now won't change that.”

“Gav, no, you don't get it...”

“I can't if you don't tell me-”

“That's because I don't wanna fucking tell you!” Ray suddenly shouted.

Michael raised his eyebrows at that, though before he could respond to that, Ray was shouting again.

“I don't wanna talk to either of you! Is that so hard for you guys to understand?!” A tear made its way down Ray's cheek after he finished and Michael had to look away slightly, because he hated to see that.

“We've all been through hell and back, Ray,” Gavin went on, “My face still looks absolutely mullered, but I'll be fine, because we'll have our bad times... you know that doesn't mean nothing will ever be okay again. So, you _can't_ shut us out, and you _can't_ hide from this. You-”

Michael turned to him and cut him off by walking up and cupping his face, “Gavin, I know what you're doing, but it's not working, and maybe we should just leave him for now,” he made sure to keep his voice down the whole time.

Gavin's eyebrows twitched together as he pulled away from Michael's grip, “No, I can't leave without knowing he's okay first.” He hurriedly walked passed him to get closer to Ray.

“Well that's just too fucking bad, because I'm not gonna talk to you,” Ray declared.

“Ray-”

“Leave me alone! Damnit!”

Gavin pursed his lips as he simply stared at Ray for a moment, then he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Michael lingered behind a little bit to look at Ray, but it was more than apparent that Ray wasn't going to explain anything about what happened to him. With a sigh, Michael went ahead and left as well.

The second the door closed and he was alone, Ray covered his face with his hands and took another deep, shaky breath.

 


	22. Twenty-two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically t/w free, but it is pretty sad because of what happened the previous chapter.

As soon as Michael closed the door, he went after Gavin, which wasn't difficult since Gavin was simply going into his own bedroom. Gavin did see Michael following him, though, so he tried closing the door before Michael could get in, but it was no use.

“Gavin,” Michael said as he gently pushed open the door, “Being upset over this is not going to make it any better.”

Gavin sighed as he made his way to his bed, “What am I supposed to feel, Michael? I realized something else today.” He sat down and Michael took a seat next to him.

“Like what?”

“Like how Ray and I aren't really the best friends we used to be,” Gavin paused as he scooted closer to Michael, “We used to tell each other everything, even the most darkest things, and now he can't talk to me about this?”

“That doesn't mean you guys aren't as close anymore-”

“But Michael, it's been like this for a while. We've definitely drifted in some way whether we want to admit it or not.”

Michael licked his lips and shook his head which only made Gavin furrow his eyebrows.

“Look, Gav, I'm sorry about that, but you know that isn't going to stop you from being there for him right now. I get that it sucks that it seems like he doesn't want to talk to you of all people, but give him time and maybe he will.”

Gavin turned his head to look Michael in the eyes, “You better be right.”

“I've been wrong a lot of times, so are you sure you want to rely on me?” Michael's tone was serious, although the corners of his mouth were slowly rising, and Gavin just wanted to leave a kiss everywhere on his face, because that smile was simply his favorite.

“Geoff?! I'm home!” They heard Griffon call, but neither of them moved as they continued to stare at each other.

The urge to kiss Michael was, in truth, particularly annoying since it was nearly easy, on the other hand, it really wasn't. He wanted to make that move, especially because it wasn't like this was their first kiss, but something kept holding him back from doing anything.

“Anybody home?” Griffon shouted out.

Michael stood up and took a few steps away from Gavin before saying, “Come on, let's go greet her so she doesn't think we're ignoring her.”

Gavin frowned, yet he did nod and get up as well. He let Michael lead the way and as soon as they got to the bottom step, Griffon turned around to face them with her usual bright smile.

“I was wondering if I came to an empty house or not. Where's Geoff?”

“He went out to get groceries for dinner,” Michael answered, “and before you ask, Ray's upstairs. He's taking a nap.” Gavin side glanced at him for that, but then he nodded at Griffon.

“Oh, so Lindsay's not home yet?” Griffon asked them.

“Nope, not yet.”

Griffon smiled at the two as she placed her hands on her hips. “Well then, how's about you boys help me get some of the wood out of the trunk of my car?” She asked.

Gavin nodded and started to follow her out while Michael lingered behind a moment as he looked back up the staircase. Part of him really did hope Ray was falling asleep; the boy could use some rest after whatever happened. Gavin looked over his shoulder and saw that Michael hadn't been following him, so he peeked his head into the house.

“Michael?”

Michael blinked hard and turned his head to face Gavin.

“Come on, you donut; I'm not going to do all the heavy lifting myself,” Gavin told him.

“That's because you wouldn't be able to,” Michael teased as he started walking up to him.

Gavin gently nudged him on their way over to Griffon's car.

After they finished helping Griffon out and Geoff and Lindsay returned home, Gavin decided to help out Geoff with dinner since it had been a while. Lindsay went up to her room to work on her homework until dinner was ready, and Michael used his time to check up on Ray. Even by merely walking into the bedroom, Michael could _feel_ how thick the atmosphere was – how saddening it was, and the sight of Ray still curled up on his bed didn't make it any better.

“I told you I'm not talking to you,” Ray mumbled.

“Then what the fuck would you call what you just did?” Michael asked, not leaving out any ounce of sass in his tone.

“Hmm, _clever_ ,” Ray said as he rolled his eyes.

“Alright, enough with that... I get that you won't talk to me or anyone about the situation you found yourself in, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you stay up in here in your own misery.”

“I deserve to.”

Michael took a deep breath and shook his head. “Yeah, you mentioned earlier about how it was your fault, and let me just tell you, Ray, that I've known you for fucking ever and in that time, I realized that the _two_ people in this house that would never do anything wrong was you and Lindsay.”

“I guess... it's...” Ray sighed in defeat as the words failed to form properly, but his mind was still cluttered by _everything_ – everything he wished he could forget already. He licked his lips and looked Michael in the eye for the first time since he got home, “It's not exactly something I did wrong... i-it's... something I may have provoked,” and just as quickly as it happened, the eye contact was broken.

Michael's eyebrows squeezed together, trying to figure out on his own what Ray meant by that, because he didn't want to bother him with so many questions, but he was utterly lost.

“On purpose?” He simply asked anyway.

From that question, Ray's expression turned to one of absolute horror, and disgust that Michael had his answer from just that.

“Okay, so not on purpose,” Michael murmured.

“Yeah, I wouldn't _dream_ of provoking _that_ on purpose,” Ray told him, and he shook a bit.

Michael frowned, but he began to approach Ray's bed, although he stopped when Ray grew defensive by holding up a hand.

“Please, just go, Michael. I-I want to be alone right now.”

Michael grabbed that hand and instead of pulling away like Michael expected him to, Ray froze still and stared at their hands with wide eyes. Michael softened his grip on his hand and offered him a small smile.

“It wasn't your fault at all, Ray,” he spoke softly, “I don't care what you think; I _know_ it wasn't.”

Ray lower lip quivered a little and Michael watched as his eyes seemed to water.

“Michael, you don't even know what happened. How can you say that?”

“I don't have to know what happened to know it wasn't your fault, because I, at least, know _you_.”

A tear rolled down Ray's cheek and he pulled his hand free from Michael's loosened grip. He turned away until his back was completely facing Michael and Michael knew that was all he was getting out of Ray for the night. He started to walk away when he heard Ray say one more thing.

“Thanks for that, but you're wrong.”

Michael just sighed and continued his way out. 

 

* * *

 

Sunday night was spent how any other Sunday would be – with family night. Geoff and Griffon decided to barbeque some steaks for dinner and Lindsay went ahead and made some dip for the chips they would be having afterward as they watched a movie. Once everything was set up and Ray was still not downstairs, Michael and Gavin almost worried he would try skipping out on this.

“Time to eat!” Geoff announced excitedly as he rubbed his hands together, but when every one took their seats and one chair was still open, he had to ask, “Where the hell's Ray?”

Gavin's eyes widened and he quickly turned to Michael for an answer. Michael appeared as comfortable and casual as could be and Gavin knew he had a good excuse to tell, although he didn't get to use it.

“I'm right here,” Ray answered, getting everyone to look over and see him coming down the stairs. 

Geoff smiled at him, “I feel like I haven't seen you all day. Have you been in your room this whole time?”

Again, Gavin turned to Michael, but Michael glared at him. 

“I was just busy studying for a big test I'm having tomorrow in my English class,” Ray answered Geoff while he made his way to the empty chair. 

Geoff nodded and placed one of the steaks on Ray's plate, “Alright, now you can take a break and eat.”

Ray smiled up at him, but it was almost evident how forced it was, although no one seemed to notice enough to ask about it. Everyone began to eat and discuss the things that had been going on with them lately, except for Ray. Well, Ray did talk about a few things, though he was very vague about each thing, like he was only saying anything at all so no one would suspect he wasn't exactly feeling sociable. Michael kept eying him every now and then and Ray would try smiling at him each time he caught it, but Michael wasn't convinced. 

While they watched the movie, Ray was more concentrated on his phone than what they were watching, and Gavin attempted to get Ray interested, but Ray wasn't having any of it. Gavin finally gave up, knowing that he should be relieved Ray was even there with them and not just in his room alone. 

Yet, he couldn't but wonder how long Ray was going to keep this facade up. 

 

* * *

 

“Now I want you all to pick a partner and we can get started.”

Lindsay immediately turned to Barbara with a smile, but it faltered when she saw Barbara was falling asleep. 

“Barb,” Lindsay said as she gently shook her friend.

Barbara jumped up and rubbed her eyes, groaning as she did so. “I was almost dreaming, Linds,” she whined.

“Hmm, I could tell, but Mrs. James told us to pick partners, and I choose you.”

Barbara raised her eyebrows and turned to look at the board to see a few rules written on them. “How long have those been there?” She asked as she pointed at them.

“Uh, since five minutes ago when she said we would be working on a lab today.”

“We're _working_ on a _lab_?” Barbara's voice sounded just as she looked – clearly not satisfied by this news. 

Lindsay nodded, her smile returning, “I think Mrs. James has mentioned this lab a few times last week; that's why she said not to wear any thing you wouldn't want to risk ruining.”

Barbara looked down at her outfit and sighed in relief, “Okay, well I'm good there.”

Lindsay began to laugh until she looked over at their open classroom door and saw Ray walking by. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, because yes, perhaps Ray was just out to use the restroom, but Lindsay knew for a fact that there weren't any restrooms in the direction he was going in.

“Now look who isn't listening,” Barbara sarcastically commented as she leaned closer to Lindsay.

Lindsay turned back to her and smiled apologetically. “Sorry. I just saw Ray walking by and... I don't know, he looked off.”

Barbara raised an eyebrow, “Do you think something's wrong?”

“I'm tempted to go find out.”

“Just ask to go to the bathroom.”

Lindsay faced forward, because she didn't want to over think anything, since there probably wasn't anything wrong with Ray anyway. So she shook her head and asked Barbara what part of the lab she wanted to work on.

Ray walked down the rest of that hallway before taking a turn, and then another, and then he did end up walking into one of the men's restrooms. Nobody was in there, thankfully, so he walked up to one of the sinks and gripped the edges of it as he looked at himself in the mirror. He could think of a million other places he'd rather be than at school, because maybe in those million other places, he wouldn't have to deal with anyone.

In the morning when he arrived there, he felt bad for blatantly ignoring Miles when Miles was clearly excited to talk about whatever he had talked about. Ray tried listening, but he couldn't bring himself to care much. He was tired, even though he got a full night's rest. He was annoyed, even though there was nothing or no one there to annoy him. He was... scared, even though he was safe now.

But... was he really?

With one last look in the mirror, he turned away and walked out of there to head back to class.

As Lindsay and Barbara started to get to work on the lab, someone walking by the classroom caught her attention, and she glanced up to see Ray again with the same sunken look on his face. She sighed and made a mental note of talking to him later.

* * *

 

Griffon had to run back into the house at the sound of her phone ringing. She barely made it to the table she had left it on and she gasped softly when she saw it was Sarah.

“Oh god, okay,” she pressed 'answer' and held the phone to her ear, “Hello?”

“It was Mrs. Free,” Sarah said the second she heard Griffon answer.

Griffon couldn't even pretend to be surprised, “She called again?”

“She's right here, right now; I'm looking at her.”

Griffon widened her eyes a bit at that, and for a moment she wanted to ask Sarah to repeat that in case she heard wrong, but she knew she didn't.

“Wait, what?” She asked.

“I'm calling you because she would like to speak to you and Geoff.”

“I-I...” Griffon walked over to the kitchen to check the time on the stove. It was nearing twelve-thirty, so it was pretty much perfect timing. “I think Geoff's lunch break is about to happen, so I'll call him and let him know.”

“I'm so sorry if I interrupted anything, but I do think you should come.”

“Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree, so we'll be on our way as soon as we can.”

“Okay, we'll see you then.”

Griffon hung up and quickly scrolled down her contacts to call Geoff. As it rang, she grabbed her car keys and headed towards the front door.

“Hey Griffon,” Geoff cheerfully answered.

“Geoff, I hope you aren't busy,” Griffon said as she walked out of the house.

Geoff blinked and sat up in his chair, “Why? Is something going on?”

“Yes, something very big; Mrs. Free is with Sarah right now, and she would like to speak to us face-to-face.”

Geoff's expression hardened and he was up on his feet in seconds. “I'll meet you there,” he said before ending the call and grabbing his keys off his desk.

Griffon was the first to arrive, but she waited outside for Geoff, and while she waited, she stared inside through the window and saw a slender looking woman leaning against the wall. She only assumed that was Gavin's mother, especially since the more she stared, the more she saw that the resemblance was very uncanny.

From being distracted with that, Griffon didn't hear when Geoff pulled up and got out of his car. He got her out of her thoughts when he spoke.

“Ready?”

Griffon turned to face him and nodded, “I think so.” She held her out hand and Geoff took it in his.

“Good, because I have a _lot_ to say to her.”

Sarah got up from where she was sitting as the Ramseys walked in, and she quickly made her way over to them, but Geoff practically walked passed her to get to Mrs. Free.

“If you're here because you think it's okay to take Gavin back, then let me tell you-”

“I'm not here to take him back,” Mrs. Free cut him off, leaving Geoff standing there in front of her with his mouth open, “I know I've done nothing to earn any time with him; I just wanted to speak to the wonderful people who've taken care of him all this time.” She looked over at Griffon with a smile, but Griffon had her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

“How is he?” Mrs. Free asked, standing up and looking at Geoff specifically.

“You would know that if you were there,” Griffon blandly answered, much to Geoff's amusement, “but I will tell you that he's perfectly fine.”

“He was _seven years old_ when you left him,” Geoff spoke up, “ _Seven._ ” He shook his head, “How could you do that to him?”

“I needed to get out of there,” Mrs. Free explained, “I was afraid that if I stayed there longer, we would both end up being slowly killed. I wanted to take him with me; it's something I think about everyday – I do!” Her voice had gotten louder, because she noticed the looks on the Ramsey's faces, how they looked extremely unconvinced by everything she was saying.

“I-I realize my mistake, that I left him with a monster. I left my baby with a man who never loved us.” Her eyes were watering now, “I can just be thankful now that he's alive and that he's okay.”

“No thanks to you,” Geoff muttered under his breath. Griffon looked at him, then sighed and looked at Mrs. Free.

“Is that all?” She asked.

“Not exactly,” Mrs. Free said.

“What else could you _possibly_ have to say?”

“I wish you would tell me more about him, how he's grown-” but Griffon stopped her there.

“He's grown into a well behaved teenager who's very caring and _doesn't_ leave the ones he cares about behind. He has a big heart, because you know what? I honestly think he would help someone else get out of danger before he tried helping himself.”

Geoff was staring at Griffon as she talked and he couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face.

“Now, is there _anything_ _else_ you'd like to ask me?” Griffon questioned the other woman, a stern look on her face.

Mrs. Free nodded. “Can you tell him I love him?” She sounded so desperate and pleading, but Griffon didn't even know what to say to that. The two of them just stared at each other for what felt like a long while, neither of them daring to utter a word.

Geoff scoffed and grabbed his wife's hand, “I think we're done here.” He looked over at Sarah and nodded, “Have a good day, Sarah.” With that, he and Griffon started walking out of there, but Griffon did look back at Mrs. Free one more time.

 


	23. Twenty-three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of now, it seems like this may end up being 35 chapters long, lol. Also, a song has been added to the playlist and I think it suits this chapter well. It's "A Beautiful Lie" by 30 Seconds to Mars.

Kdin went ahead and took a seat next to Ray on the bus, although the second he sat down, he felt hands on his shoulders. He looked up expecting to see Gavin, but it was Michael, staring down at him with a small smile.

“Can I sit here today?” He asked Kdin.

Kdin furrowed his eyebrows and looked over at Ray for an answer, but Ray wasn't paying either of them attention. With a sigh, he nodded and got up, allowing Michael to take his place as he sat down in the seat behind them. Michael knew Ray wasn't going to talk to him, but he wanted to be near him, just in case.

Gavin noticed Kdin sitting alone, and he was going to join him, but Lindsay being the last to get on the bus, she decided to sit next to Gavin before he could leave. Gavin frowned a bit, though he smiled when she looked at him.

“Hey, Gav,” she greeted brightly.

“Hi, Lindsay,” he hoped he didn't sound off to her in anyway, but he might have, because she squinted her eyes slightly at him for a moment.

“Everything alright?” She ended up asking when she apparently did notice something wrong in Gavin's expression.

“I've just been thinking a lot about Ray,” Gavin nonchalantly answered, but he gasped when he realized he shouldn't have said anything.

“You mean like how he's been acting extra fidgety lately?”

Gavin's eyes widened as he stared at Lindsay, although he decided to play it a little dumb. “What do you mean?”

Lindsay sneaked a glance at Ray and Michael before sighing. “Michael told me that Ray came home the other night completely freaking out, but he doesn't know why because Ray won't tell.”

Well, that was certainly something Gavin wasn't aware of. He honestly assumed what he and Michael witnessed with Ray was going to be kept between them, for Ray's sake. Gavin raised his eyebrows as he looked over at Michael who was currently sitting next to Ray like they were absolute strangers.

“Michael told you all of that?” He asked Lindsay.

“Yep,” Lindsay replied.

There was no hiding the bit of irritation Gavin was feeling bubbling up inside, but really, it was over something so silly that he could have laughed at himself for it. He swallowed roughly and shook his head.

“I shouldn't be surprised that he told you,” he said softly, looking down at his hands.

Lindsay frowned and waited at first to see if Gavin would say more, though when he didn't, she asked, “Uh, is that a bad thing or?”

The corners of Gavin's mouth struggled to curl up as he looked Lindsay in the eye. “It's not bad at all,” and then he sighed loudly. “I'm sorry, Lindsay; I'm sure you two will be great together, but I just-”

Things never sounded as confusing as they did when Lindsay heard that, so she _had_ to cut him off there and get some answers that hopefully did make some sense.

“Wait, Gav, what the hell are you talking about?”

Gavin tilted his head, but the more he realized Lindsay _didn't_ know what he was talking about, the more that little irritation was turning into embarrassment. He breathed out a nervous laugh and shrugged.

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at him. “Gavin, tell me,” she pleaded.

“Linds, spare me from feeling _completely_ idiotic.”

Lindsay's expression softened and Gavin's embarrassment grew.

“You thought there was something going on with Michael and me, didn't you?” She questioned him.

Gavin licked his lips and looked away. “Can you blame me for thinking that? You two just looked so _together_.” He wanted to sink into his seat, but he was torn from his thoughts when something hit the back of his head. It didn't take him long to know that Lindsay had smacked him there. He lifted his hand up to massage the spot she hit and hissed through his teeth, “Ow.”

“I can't believe you actually thought that,” Lindsay laughed.

“I made an assumption and my imagination ran wild with it.”

“Yeah, a little too wild. I mean, I'm not saying I never would, because Michael's absolutely adorable in every way, but I never would.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled before further explaining.

“I'm just not interested in him like that.”

Gavin sighed in relief and Lindsay's eyebrows knitted together at that sound until she thought it over, and then she gasped softly. Gavin mentally cursed to himself for making himself look even more obvious, because he already knew what Lindsay was going to say to him.

“Oh my god, you like him,” she whispered, a grin forming on her face.

“How do you possibly do that?” Gavin asked her.

“Do what?”

“How do you always figure out the answers? All I had to do was sigh and you knew!”

Lindsay's smile faltered a little as she faced forward and shrugged. “My dad was a lawyer, so figuring things out was kind of his thing. I used to listen in on him trying to find ways that he could help his clients, and well, his witty thinking... I can never forget it; I think it kind of rubbed off on me.”

Gavin smiled sadly at her and when she looked back at him, she smiled a little bigger.

“Does he know?” She asked.

Gavin nodded. “Yeah, we've... we've had our moments,” he looked down, “Uh... we've kissed and-”

“So, wait, does that mean-”

“No,” Gavin quickly cut her off as he faced her, and he could see her smile slowly fading, “No, it doesn't.”

“Why not? Was it because you thought he and I were a thing?”

“It's because he doesn't want anything to happen between us.”

Lindsay raised her eyebrows and she sat back. “Did he say why?”

Gavin's eyes flickered to where Michael was sitting to find that it was the same sight – him and Ray looking like they didn't know each other at all.

“He just doesn't want to be in a relationship,” Gavin answered softly, looking away from Michael.

Lindsay glanced at Michael and then sighed before facing Gavin, “I know he's not exactly the most affectionate person, but if he really likes you, he might want to try someday.”

Gavin smiled weakly and shook his head. “That's the problem, Linds; he doesn't like me enough.” He saw Lindsay opening her mouth to speak some more, so he interrupted her before she could, “Don't say I don't know that, because I do.”

Lindsay slowly closed her mouth in defeat and frowned. She decided not to say anymore on the subject for the rest of the bus ride and although neither of them said anything about it, she knew this wasn't something she was going to go on and tell anyone.

The quietness between Michael and Ray was beginning to be the most uncomfortable thing that Michael finally rolled his eyes and spoke.

“It's your business, your privacy, so I get why you don't want to tell any of us what's going on with you, but Ray, I hope you never forget that we're here to listen.”

Ray side eyed him for a moment before scoffing and turning his attention back to whatever was going on outside.

Michael ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Ray, just say _something._ ”

“ _Something_ ,” Ray bitterly replied, although he did turn his head to look at Michael, “Get it in your head that I'm _not_ going to tell you anything, because I just _don't_ want to.”

“I already told you that I know that-”

“Then why do you keep talking to me?”

“I can't talk to you now?”

“No, because every time you do, it's about _that,_ and I don't want to talk about _that._ I don't fucking care that you and everyone else is there for me. I _don't,_ okay? So leave me alone and get over it like I'm _trying_ to. _Alright_?”

Michael squinted his eyes at him, but his expression softened seconds later and he didn't bother saying anything more as they both turned away from each other.

 

* * *

 

It had been a few hours since Griffon and Geoff returned home. Geoff had called in and said he needed to take care of more things at home, so he stayed to talk the whole thing over. They hadn't been doing much talking, though, mostly just exchanging looks and shaking their heads as they went over the situation in their minds.

The digital clock on the stove caught Griffon's attention as it changed. She looked over to find that the kids would be arriving anytime soon.

“I don't think we should tell Gavin,” Griffon whispered to Geoff.

“Maybe he has the right to know. It is his mom and as much as I hated hearing her go on and on about how she does love him, I do think Gav should know about it someday.”

“I don't know, Geoff. Just imagine how he'd feel if he did know about this, though.”

“Know about what?” Gavin asked as he, Michael, Lindsay, and Ray walked through the front door.

Griffon spun around to see the four of them staring back. Geoff licked his lips and threw his hands up. He did think Gavin needed to know, and it was best if it was done now.

“Michael, Ray, and Lindsay,” he spoke, “Could you three go upstairs or something? Griffon and I have to talk to Gavin about something.”

Lindsay nodded and hurried up the stairs, but the other two boys lingered behind for a moment. Ray was the next to head up to his room, but Michael stood there, looking curiously from Gavin to Geoff.

“Michael, please,” Griffon said as she stepped forward, “I don't mean to push you away, but this is private.”

Michael sighed and rolled his eyes, but he obliged and was out of sight within seconds. Though once he was at the top of the staircase, he opened Gavin's bedroom door (being that it was the closest one) and closed it to make it sound like he was no longer around.

Geoff and Griffon took the noise of the door as cue to talk.

“You can sit down if you want,” Geoff told Gavin, but Gavin shrugged and stood still.

Griffon sighed deeply and smiled at Gavin. “Gavin, listen, I hate admitting this, but for months now, we've been getting calls from Sarah. You remember her, right?” Gavin nodded. “She told us a woman had been calling her to ask for you.”

“What?” Gavin asked, his eyebrows squeezing together in confusion.

“That was our reaction at first,” Griffon told him, but she couldn't go on. How was she supposed to break something as huge as speaking to his mother to Gavin? Geoff noticed she was having trouble, so he stepped in.

“Look, buddy, you know we'd do anything for you kids, right?”

“Who was the woman?” Gavin asked, completely ignoring Geoff's question. He was feeling nervous now and it was because he had an idea that he knew the answer to his own question.

Geoff and Griffon exchanged a look before Geoff quietly said, “It was your mother.”

From the top of the staircase, Michael let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He shook his head and leaned against the wall as he continued to listen.

Gavin closed his mouth as he began to get an ache in his chest. A part of him wanted to laugh and say “You're kidding.” but the other part of him knew they weren't. They definitely were not kidding.

“Sarah called us again today,” Griffon said after a moment of terrible silence, “She said that your mother was there and that she wanted to see Geoff and I.” Gavin slowly shifted his gaze to the floor as his eyes welled up a bit without his control.

“She just wanted to know how you were,” Geoff continued for Griffon, “and we told her. She had no-”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Gavin interrupted to ask as he looked back up at them. Geoff blinked. “You said Sarah has been calling you for months now, yeah? Why didn't you tell me from the start that a woman was looking for me? It's only obvious it was my mother.” He was frantically looking back and forth from the two, waiting eagerly for his answers.

“I did know from the start that it was her,” Griffon admitted.

“Then why didn't you tell me?!” Gavin hadn't meant to shout out that question, but with the sudden frustration he was feeling, it wasn't something he could exactly stop.

“We didn't want to worry you-”

“That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard!”

“Hey, Gavin,” Geoff said more sternly, “Don't talk to her like that-”

“Oh, but it's okay for her and you to keep secrets from me?! Especially when they pertain to _me_?!” Gavin asked as he pointed to himself. Michael frowned, almost tempted to go down there and pull Gavin away, but he resisted and remained in his spot.

“We weren't trying to keep it from you now, Gav,” Geoff told him, “We were ready to tell you, but we also didn't think you would care to see or speak to her-”

“That part doesn't matter! What matters is that I should have known about this, Geoff! I should have known!” Gavin gasped for air from not realizing that he had been practically crying out his words. He took a deep, shaky breath and shook his head. “I should have known,” he whispered to them.

Griffon started walking towards him but Gavin didn't give her the chance to reach him, because he turned around and ran up the stairs.

“Gavin!” Geoff called after him, but Gavin didn't stop or turn back.

Michael was still standing near Gavin's bedroom when Gavin made it to the top, making the Brit halt in his tracks when he was noticed.

“You _should_ have known,” Michael whispered to him, but with that, he walked off towards his bedroom and he didn't even glance at Gavin once before entering.

Gavin bit down on his lower lip to prevent it from quivering, but it did so anyway, and he walked into his own room. He locked the door and took deep breaths, hoping it would still his urge to cry, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop it, not after that. He had to drag himself over to his bed and when he finally managed to lay on it, he buried his face in his pillow and allowed the tears that had been threatening to fall to come out.

 

* * *

 

Geoff was fully indulged in what he was cooking up on the stove to notice when Griffon walked into the kitchen. He jumped at her touch on his back and she laughed softly.

“I didn't mean to scare you,” she told him.

“It's fine. I was just caught up in my own thoughts,” he practically grumbled. He took a deep breath and turned around to look at his wife better, “After he ran off, I know you told me to give him space, but does a whole night count as giving him space? Because I can't wait any longer. I _need_ to talk to him.”

“ _We_ need to talk to him,” Griffon corrected him, though she smiled softly, “He didn't even come down for dinner. I have never had to experience such a quiet meal.”

“He must be starving then, which is why I made this,” Geoff said as he turned back around to check on the pancakes.

Griffon stepped aside as Geoff walked towards the staircase and called up for all of them to come down. Griffon wanted nothing more but for things to already go back to how they were, with Gavin his cheerful self and not mad at them. She heard many footsteps making their way down the stairs; Lindsay and Michael were the first to walk into the kitchen, but right behind them was Gavin. Griffon looked over at Geoff to see Geoff giving Gavin a smile. Gavin merely glared at him, though.

Griffon had to resist the urge to run over and hug him, but to do so, she decided to get out of his way. She gave Geoff a quick kiss on the cheek and grabbed her car keys on her way out.

Geoff's smile fell a little after noticing the way Gavin was glaring at him, so he managed to keep it up as best as he could. “I made some of your favorite, Gavin,” he said as he held up the pan to show the blond.

Instead of an answer, Gavin huffed loudly, and purposely. He walked right passed Geoff and over to the refrigerator. Everyone was silent as they watched him grab a water bottle out and then start heading for the front door.

“I'm taking the bus this morning,” he announced, the clear and sheer anger in his tone.

Lindsay frowned, but she didn't try stopping him from walking out the door, neither did Geoff. More footsteps came down the stairs and a few seconds later, Ray walked, or rather, dragged himself into the room.

“Okay,” Geoff sighed, “How about you three? Up for some pancakes and bacon? If you're not, maybe I can make something else real quick.”

“Pancakes and bacon sounds delicious,” Lindsay happily said as she took her seat at the table. Michael reluctantly did the same.

Ray pursed his lips as he just stared at the two beginning to eat. Geoff looked over at him and held up an empty plate.

“What would you like, Ray?”

Ray looked down at his feet as he quietly asked, “Geoff, can I... can I stay home today?”

Michael paused from sticking his pancake filled fork into his mouth to look at Ray with a questioning expression.

“Why, what's wrong, Ray?” Michael asked him, turning in his seat to face the younger lad better. “Stomach hurts? Feel like throwing up? Or do you have the runs?”

Ray's face fell even more and he looked away, but he did say, “It's none of your business.”

“No, I get that it's not,” Michael told him, “but I mean, you're gonna have to say what's wrong with you, because Geoff's gotta tell the school something if he's gonna let you stay home.”

“Shut up,” Ray mumbled, still not daring to look at Michael.

Lindsay lightly punched Michael in the arm, causing Michael to actually silence himself, because that punch to the arm was the slap in the face he needed to realize how rude he was sounding. He honestly hadn't been able to help himself. After what happened on the bus the day before, he was annoyed, but not really at Ray for what Ray told him, but at himself for being so persistent. He had to admit, though, that he didn't know until now exactly how much he cared about Ray.

Geoff looked back and forth between the two boys, seeing the guilt on Michael's face and the uncomfortableness in Ray's, so he stepped before either of them could say anymore to each other.

“It's fine,” he said to Ray, “I'll just make up an excuse for you.”

Ray's eyes lit up at that and he sighed in relief. “Thanks, Geoff.”

“No problem, bud. Just go on upstairs and rest for a while. You can eat when you're ready.”

Ray nodded, but before he could leave, Michael said to him, “Feel better, Ray, and I'm sorry.

Those last two words sounded so genuine that Ray smiled a bit at Michael and mouthed, “Me too.”

Michael watched as he ran up the stairs, then he turned to Lindsay.

“Well it was nice that you apologized, but you shouldn't have said anything at all,” Lindsay scolded him.

“I know, I know, but I _don't_ know what the hell got over me. I just can't stop thinking about what's been going on with him,” Michael told her.

“Michael, I know he's been acting strange,” Geoff immediately cut into the conversation, “- which is the reason I'm even letting him take a break from school today, but we gotta be easy on him. Whatever it is, it's probably difficult, or it's probably nothing but it feels like everything to him. Either way, we can't pressure him into talking about it.”

“Can I ask you something, though?” Lindsay asked Geoff, and he nodded, “Something's going on between you and Gavin, but what is it? He seemed really upset last night when I ran into him in the hallway.”

“Nothing that we can't resolve,” Geoff assured her.

“It was really bad, wasn't it? I've never seen him skip a dinner because he wanted to avoid seeing you and Griffon.”

“Wait, did he actually tell you guys that?”

“Yes,” Lindsay and Michael both answered together. Geoff closed his eyes as he rubbed his forehead from feeling the beginning of a headache.

“Geoff, Gavin loves you,” Lindsay reminded him, “so whatever did happen between you guys, like you said, it'll get resolved. I know you two will be able to talk it out and things will go back to the way they were.” She then looked to Michael for help, “Right, Michael?”

Michael got up from his seat and grabbed his backpack. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled as he headed to the door. He knew they were both staring at him, wondering where he was going, so he told them, “If I run, maybe I can still catch the bus, but if not, I'll walk. Either one is fine with me.”

“Check up on Gavin, then,” Geoff said, because he wasn't even going to bother with arguing with Michael.

Michael nodded. “I plan on it.”

As it turned out, though, Michael wasn't able to make it to the bus on time. The walk to school didn't feel too long anyway. Michael made it there before Lindsay did, which surprised him, but he was just a little relieved that he didn't end up late to his class. Struggling to maintain a decent grade was one thing, but it didn't make him look any better if he was late so much.

Part of him was irritated that he didn't get to speak to Gavin on the bus, but that irritation was wiped right after first period when he went up to his locker. As he began to take out the textbook to his next class, he saw someone walking over to him from his peripheral vision.

“I'm so bloody tired, Michael,” Gavin said to him.

Michael looked at him and widened his eyes, but Gavin continued to talk before he could say anything in return, “So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I just wish I could know why. Everything was going fine.”

Michael closed his locker and placed a comforting hand on Gavin's shoulder. “Hey, I know. Life fucking sucks a lot of the time-” he paused as he rose his eyebrows and he put his hand down. Gavin blinked at him, recognizing that look on Michael's face.

“What are you thinking?” He had to ask.

The corners of Michael's lips twitched up slightly. “A lot of shit has been happening lately, and you know what, I think we deserve a break.”

Gavin breathed out a laugh and shook his head. “How do you expect us to do that? Life doesn't just stop because you want a break.”

“Yeah, that's true,” Michael said as he nodded, “But that doesn't mean we can't have _some_ fun.”

It took Gavin a moment, but as he looked over Michael's face, he knew just what Michael meant. A grin slowly started making its way on his face as Michael's smile increased as well.

 


	24. Twenty-four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mainly contains underage drinking. There's also two songs for this chapter, so check out the playlist. The main song for the chapter, though, is definitely "All Through The Night" by Sleeping At Last. It makes a lot of sense from Michael's POV, and I love it.

“Lindsay! Lindsay!”

Lindsay halted in her tracks from heading to the cafeteria and turned around to find Kdin almost running to catch up with her. She smiled at him until she saw that he looked a little uneasy.

“Everything okay?” She asked.

Kdin shook his head, but then he shrugged, “Well, I mean... I'm not sure, but that's why I'm here.” He licked his lips and sighed. “I overheard Michael and Ray talking yesterday on the bus and it just got me wondering; is Ray okay?”

Lindsay mouthed “Oh” as she looked down at her feet.

“I know he's been acting different lately,” Kdin went on, “but I thought it was just stress from the finals we're going to have soon enough. I couldn't help but notice how he's not here today, though. I mean, first I hear that kind of conversation, and then he's not here today? What's happening, Lindsay?”

“If I'm being completely honest with you, Kdin, I don't know. None of us know, actually. He won't talk to any of us.”

“Yeah, I got that part from his conversation with Michael. He seemed _angry_ that Michael was trying to help him out.”

Lindsay's eyebrows twitched together. “Did he?” She asked.

Kdin nodded. “Yeah, he sounded like he was just tired of people trying to get him to talk about something he obviously doesn't want to talk about,” he said, “I don't know, despite that, I thought maybe you managed to figure it out or something.” Lindsay smiled at that.

“I'm just Lindsay; I'm not some miracle worker.”

“I'd say you're the closest we got to one.”

Lindsay kept her smile on her face as she spoke, “I'll let you know if I find out something about Ray, but don't worry about him. He's small, sure, but he can take care of himself.” With that, she patted Kdin on the shoulder and turned around to head off.

Kdin sighed loudly as he took a few steps forward, and then he stopped to take his phone out of his pocket. He looked through his text messages and found the last one he had from Ray. It was from a week earlier and although Ray was never one to really show any emotion through a message, Kdin could tell that message was still filled with a happy attitude. He pressed 'reply' and started typing in something.

Ray was sat on his bed, his back against the wall, as he merely stared across the room at Michael's empty bed. It was strange how much he wanted to be left alone, but now that he really was alone, he didn't like it. He couldn't wait for someone to come home already. The house was dreadfully quiet without anyone there and he wasn't about to do anything to make it seem less deserted.

He heard his phone vibrate on his nightstand and he looked over at it. He could just barely make out the name 'Kdin' across the screen. For a moment, he thought about ignoring it, but that thought of “being alone” crept up again and suddenly he was reaching for his phone.

> Kdin: Hey man. Miss you. It's not the same here without you. Gavin's even more annoying now. Hope you're feeling better.

Ray didn't even notice how much he was smiling until he read it over two more times, but then he read it one more time and he frowned. He really wasn't sure what to say back, or if he should anything back at all. He simply put his phone back on his nightstand and lied down.

* * *

 

Gavin had never been as impatient for school to end as he was this particular day. After his talk with Michael, all he wanted was to leave and have dinner at home over with so they could do what they wanted. A part of him was worried of the outcome, but either way, he couldn't wait. Not only was he going to be able to spend time with Michael, but he was also going to get away from all the crap for a little while, and both of those things sounded perfect.

Once the last bell of his last class rung and his teacher excused everyone, he jumped up from his desk and was one of the first students out of the classroom. He quickly made a stop at his locker to grab a few things he would need for his homework, and then he was off towards the bus line where Michael, Lindsay, and Kdin were already waiting. Gavin made his way next to Michael and gently nudged him to get his attention. Michael raised an eyebrow as he looked over at Gavin, but he did smile.

At home, pizza was ordered for dinner and while they waited for it to arrive, Geoff tried talking to Gavin. He started out with casual conversation about something he was planning to do for his job. Gavin was only half listening, and he certainly was not answering anything.

“I guess the reason I'm even telling you any of this is because I think you have a creative mind, and your opinion could probably help me out,” Geoff told him, yet there was still no response.

Gavin kept staring forward with a stern look on his face.

Geoff sighed, but he tried again. “So, what do you think? Any suggestions?”

“Yeah,” Gavin blandly said, much to Geoff's surprise, “I have one.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“How about you stop talking so I can actually pay attention to this show I'm trying to watch?”

Geoff furrowed his eyebrows at Gavin, but Gavin hadn't even bothered to look at him once while he said that, so Geoff shook his head and was done with those attempts for now. He looked around the room to see how quiet everyone was, like they all wanted to be somewhere else, and he sighed quietly, because he wanted to know what was actually happening between each of them.

Michael appeared to be deep in thought, Lindsay seemed more concerned than Geoff had ever seen her before, Ray looked beyond nervous and tired, and Gavin was just angry. There was no use in starting any conversation about anything, because nobody was in the mood to talk.

After the pizza came and it was consumed, Michael sent a look in Gavin's direction and Gavin returned it, although, they waited until it was time for everyone to head upstairs for bed.

“Well, I think we've had enough TV today,” Griffon said as she got up from her seat and turned off the television. “How does sleep sound?”

“Wonderful,” Geoff answered.

Slowly, they all got up and began making their way towards the staircase, except for Michael and Gavin. Geoff noticed how they weren't following everyone else, so he turned to them, but Michael quickly told him, “We'll be up in a second. We're just gonna clean up a little down here.”

“Oh, okay,” Geoff said with a smile, and Michael and Gavin waited as they listened to footsteps moving around upstairs.

They had to wait a good fifteen minutes before everything went completely silent and everyone was in their own bedrooms. Michael let out a sigh and threw his hands up.

“Fucking finally,” he mumbled as he headed for the front door.

Gavin took a deep breath, but he hurried to catch up with Michael. Michael quietly opened the door and they both stepped out. Gavin took a few steps away from the house and stared up at it while Michael carefully closed and locked the door.

“We should be back before they even suspect a thing,” Michael told him.

Gavin nodded and allowed Michael to lead the way to wherever they were headed to. He was genuinely surprised at how calm he was about this whole thing. He really had no hesitation in it or thoughts of going back to the house and up to his room.

The walk to their destination wasn't as long as he assumed it would be, but as soon as they got there, he saw Blaine and Kyle sitting around, each with a bottle in their hands.

“I'm kind of surprised you wanted to go out tonight,” Blaine told Michael as he and Gavin approached.

“I just thought we could use a little relief from how fucking annoying everything's been lately,” Michael replied.

“I can't agree more,” Kyle said as he grabbed a bottle from the cooler and handed it to Gavin. Gavin smiled at him as he gently took it from his hand.

Blaine held up a bag of chips and asked, “Dorito?”

“No, thanks. I had a lot to eat for dinner.”

Blaine nodded and looked at Michael, “Don't lie; you want one.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael grumbled as he reached into the bag and grabbed a handful. He and Gavin took a seat next to Blaine and Kyle went ahead and gave Michael a beer bottle as well. Michael easily opened his, and that's when he noticed Gavin hadn't bothered opening up his yet. Gavin was just staring at it with furrowed eyebrows.

Michael leaned closer to him and whispered, “You know looking at it isn't going to make it open.”

Gavin sighed. “Then how do you bloody open these?”

Michael grinned and took the bottle from him. Gavin watched as Michael demonstrated, and he couldn't help but smile a little.

“Thank you,” he said when Michael handed it back to him.

“You're welcome.”

Gavin looked inside the bottle to see the liquid moving a bit from how slightly shaky his hand was, but it was shaky from nerves, only from lack of a steady hand.

“So, how are you doing, Gavin?” He heard Blaine ask.

Gavin licked his lips and took another deep breath as he lifted the bottle to his lips. “Better,” he breathed out and Michael rose his eyebrows as he saw the way Gavin chugged.

From it being his first time and because he drank so much so fast, Gavin was more intoxicated than anyone else within an hour. By hour two, he was practically on Michael's lap, whispering things into his ear and laughing like it was the funniest thing ever. When hour five came around, Michael was still only slightly drunk, as was Kyle and Blaine, because they made sure not to drink so much, but Gavin was far gone.

“Guys, guys, guys!” Gavin shouted loudly as he tried sitting up as best as he could, “S'very fun.”

Blaine blinked and looked at Michael. “Maybe it's time that you take him home,” he suggested.

“What?!” Gavin questioned, seeming a little too offended. “Why?!”

“Oh my god, I didn't think anyone could sound even more British, but apparently I was wrong,” Kyle mumbled to himself.

“ _Michael_ ,” Gavin whined as he turned to him.

Michael sighed as he set his half full bottle down and stood up. “I wasn't expecting him to get _this_ drunk, but yeah, we're leaving now.”

“But why?!” Gavin was still whining.

“It's a school night, Gav, and we all know our limits for school nights,” Michael told him as he reached down and grabbed the bottle out of his hand, “And I think your limit was many drinks ago.”

Gavin pouted at him and Michael laughed softly.

“Gav, come on,” he held out his hand, “It's time for you to get some sleep.”

Despite wanting to protest and stay, Gavin groaned and grabbed Michael's hand to help himself get up on his feet. He kept holding onto Michael as they began to walk.

“I'll see you guys at school,” Michael told his friends and they waved at him.

The walk home took much longer than it did earlier, mainly due to the fact that Gavin kept stopping to laugh and constantly asked Michael if they could take a break and sit down. Michael just repeatedly said to him that the house wasn't too far, so Gavin would continue dragging himself. When the house came into view and they walked up to the door, Michael dug into his pocket for the keys, but then he felt himself being pushed up against the door. He gasped as he looked Gavin in the eyes, a lump forming in his throat because of the expression on Gavin's face – one of determination.

“Gavin, what are you do-” although he was cut off by lips roughly crashing against his own. Gavin was taking most of the control, hungrily sucking on Michael's lips and pressing his body closer to Michael's like he was afraid Michael was going to somehow escape. Michael lifted his hands and grabbed Gavin's face as he started to return the kiss with just as much eagerness.

Even while kissing it was more than evident how drunk Gavin was, because the kiss was basically all rough, clumsy and sloppy.

As he pulled away, Michael laughed, or rather, giggled. Gavin grinned lopsidedly at him as he gently stroked his face.

“Michael,” he sounded breathless as he talked.

“Yeah, Gav?” Michael asked, knowing he was breathing just as heavily.

“I think I like you _m-much_ more than I _intended..._ to,” it also sounded like words were much too difficult to form.

Michael's expression grew completely serious as he stared at Gavin, but Gavin was just smiling at him.

“Maybe... maybe we should go inside, Gav,” Michael whispered to him.

“Pfft, well, tha-that's.... fine.... with me,” Gavin practically laughed.

Michael sighed and shook his head. “It was a mistake taking you out tonight. I'm sorry.”

“But Michael! I'm _so_ happy! I'm happy because _you_ made me happy!”

“Okay, just keep your voice down once we get inside,” Michael said as he turned around to start unlocking the door.

“My mum... she... the last time I saw her, she promised me she would be back for me one day, but I thought she meant she would be back a day later. But she's... she's back... is this... is this her _fulfilling_ her... her promise?” Gavin was slurring terribly, yet Michael had managed to understand every word.

He looked at Gavin over his shoulder to see his eyes watering.

“This is not her keeping her promise. This is _stupid_ ,” Gavin stammered out. He was quiet for what felt like a long while until he tried to laugh again, but it came out weak and breathy. 

Michael frowned as he turned back around to fully face Gavin. He grabbed Gavin's hands and gave them a gentle squeeze.

“She walked out the door and then, and then I never saw her again,” Gavin choked out. 

“Gavin-”

“No, Michael, it's okay!” Gavin shouted as he wiped his own face, “Because you make it _all_ better! You make me feel _really_ happy!” And suddenly he was kissing Michael again, once on the lips before he started trailing kisses down to his neck. 

Michael closed his eyes for a moment as he ran his fingers through Gavin's hair, his heart picking up pace in his chest, and he was certain that Gavin could probably feel how fast it was beating now. He didn't want to, but he pulled away and turned to the door again to open it. He then helped a stumbling Gavin enter the house without falling over and as they closed the door behind them, Gavin threw himself at Michael.

“Gavin,” Michael spoke softly, though he had to swallow the lump in his throat before he said more. “Do you...” another swallow, “Do you mean that when you say I make you happy?”

“Yes!” Gavin exclaimed excitedly and instead of telling Gavin to stop being so loud, Michael wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He buried his face in the crook of Gavin's neck and tried relaxing by taking a deep breath, but the last time his heart was beating this rapidly was the last day he spent with his parents, but that was out of fear. He wasn't sure what this was out of, though.

He understood that Gavin was drunk and what he was saying was probably utter nonsense, but that didn't stop the warmth it sent him inside from hearing those words come from Gavin.

“ _Michael_!” Gavin ended up whining and Michael laughed nervously as he let go of Gavin and took a step a back. Gavin smirked at him before their lips gracelessly met again. 

“Not that this isn't a sweet sight-” the boys stiffened at the sound of another voice and they pulled away as they looked up at the staircase to find Geoff standing there, “-but where the hell have you two been?” Geoff's voice was stern and his eyes were wide with anger.

Gavin wanted to hide himself behind Michael, but he just looked down instead.

“Sorry we lost track of time,” Michael answered, hoping he sounded casual.

“Lost track of time?” Geoff's voice was louder now. “What were you doing that made you lose track of time?! I've been waiting up all night!”

“You didn't have to be waiting,” Gavin told him as he began to laugh, and hysterically, too, that both Michael and Geoff looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Oh, don't fucking tell me,” Geoff mumbled. He shook his head and crossed his arms. “You two went out to drink, didn't you? You're drunk?”

“I'm not as drunk as him,” Michael admitted.

“But that's what you were doing?!”

“Don't yell at Michael,” Gavin said as he wrapped his arms around the latter, “He just wanted me to have a good time.”

Michael frowned and looked away, but Gavin just continuously kissed his cheek.

“What's going on?” Lindsay asked as she stepped out of her bedroom.

“Aw Linds, I'm sorry if I woke you,” Geoff told her. “Go back to bed. I'm just having a _talk_ with Michael and Gavin here, who thought it was a good idea to be gone all night and get wasted.”

Lindsay's eyes widened as she looked down at the two boys.

“I can't believe you two,” Geoff told them, “I really can't, but since it's _two_ in the morning, I'm going to leave you two to get to sleep.” He pointed a finger at them. “We're talking about this when you wake up, though; don't you dare think I'm letting this go.” He turned on his heel and headed back to his bedroom.

Lindsay waited for the boys to make their way up the stairs; Gavin taking much longer than necessary.

“Are you going to lecture us, too?” Michael asked her once they were at the top. Lindsay shook her head. She helped Michael get Gavin into his bed and was amazed at how quickly Gavin curled up and got himself comfortable.

“It was stupid, I know,” Michael said softly as he and Lindsay stared at a sleeping Gavin, “but I just wanted to make him feel better. I mean, this is what I do to feel better.” He shrugged.

Lindsay patted his back and smiled at him. “It wasn't the right thing to do, but your intention was.” She headed out of Gavin's bedroom, leaving Michael to stand there alone.

Michael was going to walk out as well, but instead, he closed the door and crawled into Gavin's bed and lied down next to him as he listened to Gavin's loud breathing. He sucked in a sharp breath as Gavin's words began to run through his mind again. There was no way he was going to fall asleep anytime soon.

He may have drifted off for a bit here and there, but when his eyes opened at some point, the sun was up and he could hear groaning coming from next to him.

“Gav?” He spoke.

Gavin cringed as he opened his eyes and the harsh sunlight hit his face. “Michael, is that you? What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Lindsay helped me get you to your bed last night and I kind of just... crashed here.”

“Bloody hell. What happened last night?”

Michael swallowed hard as he sat up. “You don't... you don't remember?” He could feel an ache in his chest when Gavin shook his head.

“Well, I remember being with you, Blaine, and Kyle... I remember drinking a little bit, and then I remember...” Gavin paused as his eyes widened, “Geoff.”

Michael rolled his eyes, but he nodded. “Yeah, we're kind of in trouble,” he told him.

Gavin covered his mouth as he started to get out off his bed. “I'm going to be sick,” he said as he rushed out of his room.

Michael bit down on his lower lip. He was nowhere near ready for whatever Geoff had to tell them, so he lied there on Gavin's bed a little longer. The ache in his chest was slowly increasing, because the one thing Michael wished Gavin remembered was what he didn't. He lied there in peace for a few minutes until loud knocking came at the door.

“Come downstairs _now_ ,” Geoff sternly told him.

Michael curled his fingers into fists as he got himself up. “Damnit,” he said under his breath, but he made his way out and found Gavin with his hands on his head while he made his way into the kitchen. Michael took his time getting there and the second he did, he almost turned around to leave when he saw the furious looks on Geoff's and Griffon's faces.

“Both of you sit down,” Griffon told them, although, unlike Geoff, she sounded calm, which didn't make this any better.

Gavin did as he was told and pinched the bridge of his nose, because he wanted so desperately to rid of this dreadful pounding in his head.

“Where do I even begin?” Geoff asked the two boys angrily. “I have _never_ been so disappointed in either of you.” Michael and Gavin remained silent, because they weren't sure what they were supposed to say to that.

“Do you have _any_ idea what could have happened to you two?” Geoff continued to question. “Do you even _know_ the consequences of what you both did?”

Michael crossed his arms, but he didn't give the older man any eye contact. Griffon gently rubbed Geoff's back to calm him down, because she didn't want any of this to turn into a complete argument.

“Why?” Geoff then asked, his voice softer. “Why would you two think this would solve your problems?”

Gavin sighed. “I didn't,” he admitted, “I just wanted to have fun.”

“Oh yeah? Well, how do you feel right now?”

“Like I'm ready to fall over.”

“Not so fun anymore then, huh?”

Gavin blinked as he stared at Geoff. “Geoff...” he wanted to say something, but words failed him and he just sighed in defeat.

“This wasn't my first time,” Michael finally spoke up, though he continued avoiding looking at Geoff or Griffon.

Geoff's eyebrows twitched together as he shifted his attention towards the older lad, as did Gavin and Griffon.

“So, I knew how to handle myself, and I was taking care of Gavin,” Michael explained. “We were fine. We made it home safe and sound, didn't we?”

“Yeah, you did, but that doesn't mean it was _okay_ ,” Geoff retorted. He noticed how unfazed Michael was, which made him go on to say, “Michael, you don't have _any_ idea of how worried we were, do you?”

That managed to get Michael to look up at him, his eyes squinted. “You don't have to worry about me, Geoff, and you sure as hell don't have to lecture me on this. You _aren't_ my dad.”

“No, I'm not,” Geoff agreed with a nod, “but I am your foster dad, and I _am_ responsible for you, and _I_ sure as hell do have a right to care about you.” Michael looked away, but Geoff wasn't done, “I get it, Michael. I get that you want to be independent and be able to handle everything on your own, but you're only sixteen. I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Gavin, Lindsay, or Ray. You kids mean a lot to me, and maybe you don't want to believe that, but it's true.”

A tear made its way down Michael's cheek and he quickly wiped it with the back of his hand; he hadn't even been aware that he was on the verge of crying. Geoff frowned when he saw it, but then he looked back at Gavin to see Gavin giving Michael a sympathetic look, as if he was fighting the urge to comfort him.

“Can you promise us something?” Griffon asked them, and both boys looked up at her. “Promise us that you won't do this again.”

Gavin licked his lips as he looked down at his hands, but Michael kept staring at Griffon. Neither of them gave her an answer.

“I don't know how many times you've done this before, Michael, but I hope last night was the last time,” she told him. Her voice had been sweet and pleading, though the look on her face was stern.

Michael bit down hard on his lower lip because he just couldn't hold it in anymore; his vision was getting blurry and his chest felt a little too heavy.

“I thought better of you two,” Geoff told them, “but I-” he didn't finish his sentence, since he was distracted by Michael jumping up from his seat and practically running out of there as fast as he could.

“Michael!” Geoff called after him, but Michael didn't stop, and Geoff didn't run after him. He merely stood there and listened to the loud thumping going up the stairs, then down the hall, until a door opened and slammed shut.

Silence came over the three of them left in the kitchen, neither of them wanting to say a word, because what was there to say anyway? The talk hadn't exactly gone as planned.

Perhaps a minute or more passed when Griffon broke the silence.

“That's fine,” she told Geoff, “He needs his time and-” but then she was interrupted by the sound of a chair scooting back. She and Geoff turned to see Gavin now being the one to run out of there. Geoff took a step forward to stop him, but Griffon held him back.

“No, let him go,” she told her husband. “They'll come around.”

“I made Michael cry,” Geoff stated, staring off into nothing. “I didn't mean to do that...” Griffon wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

Michael ended up going into the bathroom when he left and he walked out just as Gavin made it to the top of the staircase. Gavin froze when he saw Michael, then he felt his heart drop at the sight of Michael's drenched face. Michael sniffled and walked over to his bedroom door as Gavin walked up to his own. They both stood in front doors for a moment, not moving or speaking, and then they glanced at each other. Michael took a deep breath and roughly wiped his face with his hands before opening the door and walking into the room. Gavin frowned as he continued staring at the now empty hallway. He should have said something – anything – but his head was still throbbing with pain and it was making it difficult for him to think clearly.

He was supposed to go to school in an hour, so he decided that a quick nap couldn't hurt. With more glance in the direction of Michael and Ray's bedroom, he licked his lips and walked into his own room.

 


	25. Twenty-five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some mentions of sexual abuse, but it's very brief. Also, song of the chapter is "Slipping Away" by Barcelona; it's on the playlist. Man, I've been updating that playlist a lot. This is the part of the fic where most of the songs are for, I think lol.

Something changed.

A few days had passed and it seemed like that situation had been left behind. Well, technically it had, but something changed in the way everyone was with each other. Nothing was the same as it was before, even when weeks went and Gavin and Michael were speaking to Geoff and Griffon again. It was due to the fact that Gavin, Michael, and Ray were practically distant, like they really wanted nothing to do with each other anymore but they were dealing with one another because they were under the same roof.

Geoff and Griffon had been watching each of them ever since and they knew that if it weren't for that roof, they would have all become strangers. The only one who continued to try and remain close to all of them was Lindsay, because she, just like Geoff and Griffon, couldn't understand what exactly happened that broke the bond, but she wanted to save them from drifting apart even further. At dinner, she would try getting them to talk about everything and anything. Ray was always simply silent with a dull look in his eyes, Michael looked uninterested and miserable sitting there, and Gavin appeared to be beyond irritated.

By the time school was ending, Lindsay's attempts at keeping everyone in a cheerful mood when together had slowed down. She didn't want to give up on her friends, but she was beginning to wonder what was the use if no one else bothered to try? Or even cared? And then when she found out everything that had happened with Gavin, she wondered why Gavin allowed himself to stray away from Michael when Michael had actually been there for him, especially since she knew how Gavin felt about Michael. It made no sense, but something definitely did change between the four of them, and it began to make sense as soon as she realized what exactly changed with Gavin.

Gavin wasn't acting the same, and though Lindsay tried to deny there was anything different about him, she couldn't the more the days passed and his little attitude kept showing itself. If he thought before that he and Ray were no longer close, then he didn't know what it meant not to be close to someone anymore. Before the school year officially ended, Ray and Miles would no longer be seen hanging around Gavin and Kdin and it probably hurt Lindsay more to see that than it hurt them – the ones it was happening to. But it really was like Gavin didn't care, or ever wanted to bother to care, and no matter how badly Lindsay wanted to save all of their friendships, she couldn't fix something that was shattered.

On their first night of summer vacation, she found herself alone in the living room with Ray and decided this was the perfect time to try and catch up with him.

“So, since it's summer now, do you have any plans?” She asked, but much to her surprise, Ray just got up and walked out of there.

And that's when her attempts had completely stopped.

 

* * *

 

“What days are you available?” Barbara read out loud as she looked over the third job application she had picked up that day.

“Every single day, because seriously, I just want to earn a decent amount of money,” Arryn told her.

“How many of these are we going to have to fill out before we actually get lucky enough to get a call back?” Lindsay asked them.

Barbara sighed and set the application on the coffee table. “I don't know, but I'm beginning to think that our plan of gaining a summer job has completely failed,” she said.

“Maybe we should face the truth, that we're just _not_ going to get a job,” Arryn complained.

“Not with that attitude,” Miles said as he walked up and over to the couch. Arryn smiled up at him and he went ahead and sat down next to her.

“Hey, we've tried staying positive about this as long as we could,” Lindsay told him.

Miles sighed and wrapped his arm around Arryn to pull her closer to him. “I believe in you guys.”

Ray, who was standing nearby, rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. A part of wanted to wait for Miles, but another part of him just wanted to leave already.

“Miles, man, come on, let's go,” he said.

Miles looked over at Ray and pouted. “But... I'm with my Arryn,” he sounded genuinely sad that Ray was trying to pull him away.

Barbara and Lindsay laughed as Arryn grabbed Miles' face and placed a swift kiss on his cheek.

“And your Arryn will probably still be here when you get back, but if not, then you can always call me,” she assured him.

Miles smiled at her and got up from the couch. He made his way back to Ray and as they started heading for the front door, Lindsay asked, “Where are you guys headed to?”

“Somewhere,” Ray mumbled as he opened the door and quickly stepped out.

Miles turned around and smiled apologetically at Lindsay before following Ray out. Lindsay frowned as she looked forward. Barbara and Arryn exchanged looks and frowned as well.

“Don't worry, Linds; he'll come around,” Barbara told her.

“It's been months, though. Shouldn't he have come around a long time ago?”

“Oh, come on. It's only been like...” Barbara turned to Arryn for help, but Arryn merely shrugged. Barbara bit down on her lip and tried thinking of something to say, “Uh, well... some people take longer to come around than others.”

Arryn nodded. “Yeah! Everyone's different!”

Lindsay wanted to believe them. She wanted to believe that by some beautiful miracle, everything would go back into place. Perhaps luck would be kind and she, Barbara, and Arryn would find themselves working a job, and then she would end up coming home every night to how things used to be. So she took a deep breath and proceeded to filling out her current job application, because she wanted to keep hope, even if it wasn't working out so far.

Although, when a few weeks passed and none of them managed to get call backs for interviews, that hope began to fade faster.

There was some progress with Ray, though. That same day he had left with Miles, they headed for the park, and that was where Ray became distracted. He was hardly listening to Miles and kept looking around him, as if trying to hide from being seen by someone.

Miles finally had to ask, “Dude, what's up?”

Ray swallowed roughly and took a deep, shaky breath. “Do you ever just have a secret that you know you can't tell anyone, but it slowly eats you up inside?”

“No, not really,” Miles answered, his eyebrows twitching together, “But I'm guessing you do.”

“And I can't tell you.”

“That bad?”

“Could have been worse, but yeah, it was bad anyway.”

Miles nodded and placed a comforting hand on Ray's shoulder. “Hey, it's fine. I wouldn't make you tell me anything you don't want to.”

Ray wasn't sure what it was – probably the way Miles was gentle and patient with him, or the fact that he was in the very park where he first saw his mother, but his eyes were watering and his hands were starting to shake, because he just couldn't hold it in any longer.

“Miles,” he choked out.

Miles gave him a sympathetic look. “Yeah, Ray?”

“You know how I saw my mom here a long time ago?” His voice was shaky, but he tried keeping it together to finish his confession.

Miles was nodding, but he stopped when realization hit him. “Oh, you... you saw her again?”

“It was more than that.”

“What do you mean?”

Ray sniffled and inhaled sharply to steady himself. “I talked to her and saw her plenty of times after that.” Miles' eyes widened and he slowly removed his hand from Ray's shoulder.

“You _what_?” He asked in a hushed tone.

“It was the stupidest shit I could have ever done, I know. I know that now, but I-I... she... it was... I thought it could be better t-this time, but it...” Ray trailed off as his lower lip started to quiver.

Miles could feel his heart beginning to pound in his chest and his throat felt dry, but he found himself asking what he feared the answer to, “Did she do something to you? Please say 'no'.”

Ray closed his eyes and the tear that ran down his face answered the question for him. Miles was left speechless with his mouth wide open and his heart pounding loud enough to be heard in his ears.

“I got away in time,” Ray whispered, “I-I got away, but I've been so _fucking_ scared since,” his voice had risen as he said those last words and Miles' first instant was to pull Ray into a hug. He was careful about it, making sure Ray was fine with it, and when he got the “okay” on it, he wrapped his arms around the latter. Ray clung onto him like Miles was his life force and Miles held him tighter as well.

Saying it out loud definitely made it feel much more real than it was, but Ray was a bit relieved that he was finally able to tell someone, but not just _someone_ – Miles. It wasn't going to erase the memories or ease the pain, but it was his start in trying to get through it.

So maybe there was hope.

 

* * *

 

Gavin laughed as he watched Kdin's character die on screen. Kdin gripped his controller tighter as he glared at Gavin, but Gavin was too busy laughing to look back at him.

“Why do you find so much amusement in pissing me off when we play games together?” Kdin questioned, his tone sounding a bit annoyed, though he looked entertained.

“Don't be a baby, because you know it's funny, too,” Gavin finally managed to speak, his face red from laughing so much.

“No, you just...”

“I just what?”

Kdin pursed his lips and shook his head as he started up a new game. “I hate you,” he mumbled.

Gavin smirked, clearly satisfied with himself for messing up Kdin's chance at leveling up. He sighed contently and started playing again, almost wanting to laugh when he saw how quickly Kdin ran from him in the game.

“Are you off to faff about now?” He asked Kdin.

Kdin huffed as he kept his eyes on the game rather than on Gavin. “No?” It was really more of a question than answer, because he couldn't remember half the things Gavin meant sometimes.

Gavin was grinning, but that grin was immediately wiped off at the sound of Michael's voice and footsteps coming down the stairs. He shifted in his seat so much that Kdin couldn't help but glance over at him.

“I don't even know why the fuck you want us to promise you that,” Michael said to Blaine as they and Chris made their way into the kitchen.

“You guys haven't gone to _any_ of my games yet and I know you said you would this school year, but I want to make sure,” Blaine explained to them. “Making and keeping a promise isn't so hard, especially this one.” He halted in his tracks by the dining table as he watched Michael pull out water bottles for them out of the refrigerator.

“Please? For _me_?” Blaine asked as he clasped his hands together. 

Michael raised his eyebrows as he looked at Chris and Chris smiled in return.

“I guess it wouldn't kill us to go,” he said to Michael.

“Yeah, okay, we'll go to every game we can,” Michael grumbled as he handed a water bottle to Chris. On his way to hand Blaine his, Blaine cheered.

“Now I just need to convince Kyle. Which shouldn't be too hard, right?”

Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat, but he rolled his eyes and tried keeping his concentration on the game instead of the pointless conversation going on a few feet behind him. Michael peeked into the living room to see Gavin and Kdin playing.

“I'm going to be the one kicking your ass this time, Gavin,” Kdin threatened, a smile creeping up on his face.

“Try it, you pleb, and we'll see what happens,” Gavin retorted.

Kdin paused his actions for a second to glare at Gavin. “ _Nothing_ will happen. You're all talk but no do.”

Michael let out a small laugh at that and Gavin furrowed his eyebrows, remaining silent for almost the rest of the time. Blaine and Chris looked questioningly at Michael, but Michael waved them off and the three of them made their way through the living room and out to the backyard. It took all of Gavin's willpower _not_ to pay Michael any attention.

 

* * *

 

That was basically how summer vacation went for each of them – they all did their own thing with their own friends and if they did talk to each other, it would be for a brief moment, and it would usually be awkward. Even sharing a room couldn't make things better between Ray and Michael, because Ray hated talking and Michael hated wasting his time.

Lindsay would do her best to sound like nothing was wrong, and sometimes that wasn't hard, because if Michael and Gavin were what she would call “normal” with anyone, it was mainly with her. They didn't and never did have any problems with her, so it wasn't really a surprise that they would act around her like they would before, yet she could still sense it wasn't the same.

Other than that, though, the four of them pretty much avoided each other as much as they could if they were all home. It got to the point where Geoff had enough.

During one night when he knew none of them were out, he called them down for a talk. He told them to take a seat and they obliged, even though they were confused about what was going on. Ray was expecting some bad news, as was Lindsay. Michael and Gavin were going over many possibilities in their minds, but they were completely silent.

“Okay, I know it's summer and you're happy that you don't have to deal with school right now, but there's something else that you haven't been dealing with that I really think you should,” Geoff spoke.

The four of them merely blinked at him, having no idea what he meant. Geoff cursed under his breath and shook his head.

“Quality time, guys,” he clarified, gesturing between himself and them, “We aren't spending any quality time with each other anymore. What happened to our family nights on Sundays? Nobody's ever home for those. I actually hate how little any of you are home.”

“If this is about us going out too much, then I can definitely stay home more often,” Ray told him. “I can just tell Miles to come over more.”

Geoff stared hard at him for a moment until he shook his head again. “No, Ray. I'm happy that you're having fun with Miles, but what about having fun with Gavin?”

Gavin scoffed and looked away.

“Or with Michael?” Geoff offered.

Michael averted his eyes and started fiddling with his fingers.

Geoff frowned and tried again, “Or Lindsay?”

Lindsay offered Ray a small smile and Ray returned it.

“So, you're going to force us to hang out with each other?” Gavin asked, the sheer annoyance on his face.

“I'm inviting you guys to come with me to work tomorrow,” Geoff told them, because he wasn't going to try telling them any other way, and seeing the way their faces lit up made it all worth it.

Therefore, the next morning, Geoff drove them over to the Rooster Teeth building. They looked more excited than he had ever seen them that he was beginning to be overfilled with that kind of joy too. They practically ran out of the car once he parked that he had to call out for them to slow down.

“Come on, guys, wait for me,” he said as he grabbed his stuff and stepped out.

“You've never brought us here before, so it's kind of cool,” Ray told him, turning around to look up and admire the building.

“Alright, well, let's go.”

Geoff led the way and it felt like he was leading a group of impatient puppies. Right as they walked through the doors, they all stared in awe behind Geoff.

“Morning, Geoff,” Jack Pattillo greeted on his way into a room.

Ray tilted his head. “That was Jack... Achievement Hunter Jack?”

Geoff nodded, “Yep. He's going to make me proud and finish up some videos to post-” though he was cut off by watching Ray hurriedly make his way into the Achievement Hunter office. “Oh, okay then.” He turned to the others with a smile.

“Anything in particular you three want to see today?”

Michael was going to answer when he caught a glance of Burnie walking by. Geoff noticed Michael staring and followed his gaze until he saw Burnie as well.

“Oh, yeah, he's going to go record some lines for Church,” Geoff explained, “I have to do some for Grif later, too.”

Michael's eyes brightened. “Do you think he'll let me watch?”

Geoff raised his eyebrows as he looked at Michael. “You want to watch?” He asked.

The corners of Michael's lips rose in the cute way that made his dimple appear deeper and Gavin found himself staring at him because of it.

“Yeah, I do,” Michael replied to Geoff.

Geoff patted his back and nodded towards the direction Burnie left in. “I can't guarantee he'll let you, but there's no problem asking.”

“Thanks, Geoff,” Michael said as he headed off. Geoff smiled as he watched him go for a moment until he turned around to face Gavin and Lindsay.

“I guess I'll let you two wander off on your own, _as_ _long_ as you promise _not_ to break anything _or_ interrupt anyone,” he told them.

“You have my word,” Lindsay promised.

Gavin merely nodded in agreement and Geoff let them go on their way. When Michael made it to the recording booth, he was as quiet as he possibly could be, but Burnie saw him and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, hey Michael. What are you doing here?”

“Sorry if I'm not allowed here. I can leave if I'm not, but I just wanted to watch you record your lines.”

Burnie smiled slightly. “Really?” He asked.

“Yes.”

Burnie licked his lips and thought it over a little before smiling more and nodding. “Sure, just don't make any distractions.” Michael grinned almost involuntarily as he sat down and got himself comfortable.

Gavin and Lindsay ended up sticking together as they headed into the kitchen where cameras were set up and Joel was talking with Matt. It only took them a minute to realize that they were getting ready to film a short, so they were going to head out when Joel noticed them.

“Hey, you two,” he sounded stern that Lindsay and Gavin froze. “You were just going to leave without saying 'hi'?”

Lindsay and Gavin sighed in relief as they turned around to face him.

“Jeez, you know these kids since they were shorter and they forget all about you at a certain age,” Joel mumbled to Matt.

Matt laughed and waved at Gavin and Lindsay. “Yeah, Geoff told me you guys would here today. Having any fun?”

“Tons! And I'm sorry if we walked in on you guys working,” Lindsay said as she started taking a few steps back, but Gavin remained in his spot.

“You kids can watch if you'd like, just shut up,” Joel joked.

Gavin crossed his arms as he said, “We're not _kids_ , Joel.”

“You're not eighteen yet, so yeah, you are.”

Gavin wanted to roll his eyes, but he laughed instead. Lindsay made her way back to his side and they kept out of way. Gavin's interest was definitely piqued when he saw the cameras get turned on and ready to film. Lindsay was smiling as she saw the way Joel and Matt's conversation end and turn into their lines. She had always wondered how it was for them to film one of these shorts.

Back in the Achievement Hunter office, Ray was indulged in watching Jack and Geoff begin to record a video together. He sat in the middle of them and at first, he was quiet, but then Geoff brought him into what he was talking about.

“Hey Ray, what is the best thing to eat when playing a video game?”

Ray didn't have a microphone, but he leaned in closer to Geoff to speak into his. “Definitely something that you can just easily stuff into your mouth and that doesn't require too many napkins _or_ utensils.”

“Generally, that would be chips, right?” Jack asked.

“Yep, exactly.”

Geoff smiled at Ray and was pleasantly surprised when Ray returned it with no trace of force. The three of them continued on with their commentary while Michael still sat in silence and listened with a big grin at how Burnie acted out his lines for Church, and while Gavin watched carefully to how one of the cameras was recording an angle of Joel and Lindsay was fascinated with Matt's acting skills.

Maybe they weren't all together like Geoff had hoped they would be, but they were each having fun in the same place and that was what mattered. By the end of the day and on the way home, the four were still smiling and going on about everything they had seen and heard that day. Geoff could feel his heart warming up at the sound of their delight in the car; he really was thinking he made a breakthrough in getting them back together, but the moment they arrived at the house, they all separated. Gavin ran up to his room, Lindsay called Barbara and asked if she could go over, Ray decided to take a shower, and Michael went outside to spend some time alone.

So even though they all had a great day and were even taking with one another in the car, it seemed like that didn't mean things would go back to the way they were before. It was going to take much more than that.

 

* * *

 

The first day of school started as any other would – them trying to learn the route of their classes and getting their lockers organized and ready for the year. Michael and Gavin ended up having English class together, right before lunch, but Michael was extremely happy when he saw Chris walking into the classroom. It wasn't like he couldn't have avoided Gavin in the class, but it would be much easier to do that when he had a friend in there with him.

The teacher told them to pick a seat they really wanted, because it would be their official assigned seat for the rest of the year. Michael and Chris headed towards the back and sat next to each other while Gavin sat more close to the front and to the right, far enough from Michael.

As much as Michael wanted to ignore the fact that Gavin was there, he knew he kept looking over at him.

“Do you miss him?” Chris asked after a while.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and looked at him. “Miss him? I see him every fucking day. If anything, I'm sick of him.”

Chris smiled softly at him. “If you were, you wouldn't be staring at him so much.”

Michael's expression softened as he looked away, but he wasn't about to tell Chris about how he spent a pretty intimate night with Gavin that Gavin hardly remembered and now they didn't even talk to each other much, and how that really fucking bothered him more than he'd like to admit. Ignoring the problem felt like his best option. That's how he got through his first day.

It was basically the same for Gavin, because he wanted to pretend like he didn't care, but he couldn't stop thinking about Michael and how they used to be.

Ray mostly spent his first day of tenth grade with Miles since they managed to get lucky enough to have most of their classes together. He seriously considered himself lucky for that, because ever since he told Miles the one thing he thought he could ever tell, he felt weight lift off his shoulders every time he was with Miles. Even when Arryn joined them, it was nice, because they were a beautiful distraction from his thoughts. Miles never once mentioned it or treated Ray any different, and Ray kept mentally thanking him for that.

Lindsay spent her lunch deciding with Barbara and Kara on the things they wanted to join that school year. Barbara kept mentioning dance club, something about wanting to do something she could laugh at herself at, and that did sound like an amusing idea, but then Kara mentioned drama club.

“I think that could be fun. Can you imagine us getting the star roles in plays?”

Now Lindsay was truly interested.

“Acting actually does sound really fun to me,” she told them. “And the club won't just be acting. I mean, you can do stage work, makeup, costume designs; there's so many other things you can do for the theater.”

“We _could_ try it,” Barbara said with a nod.

“And if we don't like it, we can always stop,” Kara added.

It was a bit difficult for Lindsay _not_ to squeal.

She felt as excited as she was when Geoff took her and the others to the Rooster Teeth building, and she thought about sharing this news to Michael, Gavin, or Ray on the bus, but when she got on there after school, the excitement diminished. Michael had his headphones in and was staring out the window; it was clear he wanted no one near him. Ray was also sitting alone, but he doing something on his phone, and he did look content having the seat to himself, and Gavin was sitting with Kdin. Lindsay decided she would just be telling that news to Geoff and Griffon then.

She made her way to a seat where a girl was already sitting, but unlike Michael and Ray, she looked friendly enough to sit next to. Lindsay sat down with a long sigh and shook her head. She really wished there was a way to fix her household, but it was practically useless. Everyone wanted to mind their own business with their own friends. She was deep in her thoughts that she didn't realize that the girl sitting next to her was staring now, not until the girl actually spoke.

“Oh my god, I love your hair color.”

Lindsay's eyes widened a bit, but she faced the girl and smiled. “Oh, thanks.”

The girl grinned at her. “I'm actually going to dye my hair red this weekend.”

“Really? Are you going to go with an intense red or a light shade?”

“I'm thinking a bit of intense, something that really sticks out, just because I've always wanted to take a big risk with my hair.”

Lindsay nodded. “Well, I'll be looking forward to seeing that change next week.” She stroked her own hair as she spoke again, “I think my hair has always been my favorite part of me, because it's exactly like my mom's.”

“Aw, pretty hair runs in the family, then.”

Lindsay's smile increased and she was going to let the conversation end there when she remembered something else and held out her hand. “I'm Lindsay, by the way.”

The girl laughed softly and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lindsay; I'm Megan, but I prefer just 'Meg'.”

“It's very nice to meet you, Meg.”

 


	26. Twenty-six

When the front door opened, Griffon looked up from her phone to find Michael, Ray, Lindsay, and Gavin walking in. She set her phone aside and smiled at them as they turned to look at her.

“Hey guys; how was the first day?”

“Okay,” Michael mumbled as he began heading up the stairs.

Ray waited a bit before he started walking up them as well, and Gavin merely let out a loud sigh as he made his way to the living room. Lindsay almost rolled her eyes at the boys' responses, but instead, she smiled at Griffon as she walked up to her.

“I think today went pretty good. I mean, it was the first day of school that I _didn't_ get lost. I think I officially know that school too well.”

Griffon laughed softly and nodded. “Yeah, that's bound to happen whether we like it or not.”

“Eh, it's kind of a love/hate relationship if I'm being honest, but uh, I actually met someone new today, so that was nice.”

“Oh! What's their name?”

“Her name's Meg and she seems really nice. I was talking to her the whole ride home on the bus. Today was not only her first day, but her first day at that school particularly since her parents moved and Austin high school was _much_ closer than her previous one.”

“Huh, must have been hard for her to transfer,” Griffon said as she started pulling out a few drinks from the refrigerator.

“Maybe, but she has a pretty good attitude towards it,” Lindsay answered, gladly accepting the water bottle Griffon handed her.

“Well, that's fantastic. I'm glad your day went great, then.”

Lindsay smiled again until she heard a few stomps going up the stairs behind her. Looking over, she saw that it was Gavin, causing her smile to falter.

“Hmm, looks like he can't stand being down here if I am,” Griffon said, mostly to herself, but Lindsay heard her.

“I _really_ wish they would all just stop acting this way. It's pretty pointless since we have to deal with each other throughout the day; we might as well make the best of it.”

Griffon smiled sadly at her before glancing towards the staircase and letting that smile fall as quickly as it had appeared.

* * *

 

Michael and Ray immediately sat on their own beds and pulled out what they needed to complete their homework for the night. Sometimes, the worst thing about first days was how some teachers threw homework at them already. Michael was silent and full on concentrated on trying to do his while Ray found himself distracted ten minutes in. He took out his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his messages until he found the person he was looking for.

> Ray: I'm bored.

And it didn't even take long for them to respond.

> Miles: Go to sleep then. That's always fun!

 

Ray stifled a laugh so he wouldn't get Michael's attention and shook his head instead.

> Ray: I'm serious, Miles. I have never hated being in my own room so much.
> 
> Miles: Awkward silence with Michael?
> 
> Ray: Yeah, except it's almost permanent.

Ray read over his own message a few times before sending it, because he hated saying that, though he was being honest. The only times he spoke to Michael were probably in the morning and at night. They talked a few other times, but that would only be an exchange of a word or two, maybe a sentence here and there, but overall, it was nothing. It really just reminded Ray of how it was when Michael first moved in, how distant he was with everyone, but this time, it wasn't just him, and that's what made this worse.

A part of Ray wondered if something could have avoided this distance with Michael. All Michael ever wanted a few months back was to be there for Ray, and Ray pushed him away. Thinking back to it now, he wished he would have opened up to Michael, because Michael was one that never seemed untrustworthy. But it was probably too late to dwell on that.

With a sigh, Ray set his phone down and went back to his homework.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but apparently it was plenty, since the moment he finished, he and Michael heard Geoff calling up to them for dinner. Ray quickly cleaned up the small mess he made on his bed with his textbooks and eraser, and Michael did the same. The two got up from their beds and turned around, their eyes instantly meeting. Ray stiffened under Michael's gaze. He thought about saying something to break the dreadful silence, but no words came to mind.

“Hmm, time to eat,” Michael mumbled as he broke eye contact and headed for the door.

Ray frowned as he watched Michael for a moment, but then seeing that Michael wasn't going to wait for him, he nodded. “Yeah, food.”

This was going to another long year.

 

* * *

 

Starting out the day with a math class was terrible, especially when math was already a rough subject for some. Michael had Geometry as his first period and if anything could make him fall asleep easily, it would be that class. It was like History classes, with having to remember so much at once. His teacher was really kind with taking time with each student to thoroughly explain something out, but even when he was giving Michael a one on one explanation, Michael would still be left confused. He would say he understood, but the moment his teacher turned away, he was cursing under his breath.

Everyone around him seemed to get everything, but he felt lucky when he got a few problems right on their practice worksheets, and then he would be grateful that it was only practice.

So while he already stressed out about Geometry, Lindsay sat contently in her art class with Arryn and Kara. Although art wasn't exactly something she was talented at, she very much enjoyed starting off her school days with an elective subject. The girls didn't sit at the same table, but they were close enough where they could practically have conversations with each other by mouthing and whispering words, which would get their classmates distracted, but their teacher never seemed to notice.

Gavin was stuck in AP Biology for his first class, wondering what the hell he was doing in a class mostly filled with seniors, because most juniors were barely taking chemistry. Sometimes he could pay his full attention to what they were discussing in there, but often, he was merely daydreaming about anything else, because sometimes, anything else was much more interesting.

And Ray had the pleasure of being in his English class for that hour with Miles. He and Miles were more indulged in the doodles they were give each other than the novel their teacher was going over, the one they were going to start reading in class, but Miles and Ray couldn't bring themselves to care. They would just end up giggling in the back of the class, trying their damnedest to be as quiet as possible. Usually, they would succeed. Usually.

Heading from class to class, the four of them rarely to never saw each other. That was mainly due to being occupied with speaking to whoever they were walking with to their next class, or simply because the hallways were too crowded for them to even notice each other, _if_ they even wanted to notice each other.

Michael always made sure not to lock eyes with Gavin in their English class, even when they happened to walk into the class at the same time. He knew he didn't exactly have to do that, because it wasn't like he and Gavin had specifically stated that they hated each other or anything, but Michael just preferred to be out of Gavin's way as much as possible. And Gavin didn't seem to care anyway.

So, for their first week of school, that was mainly how it went.

During the beginning of their second, something changed things up a bit.

“Okay, so club sign ups are this week. That means we have until Friday to decide whether or not drama will be our only choice,” Arryn said to Lindsay as they made their way down the hall to their third period class.

“We'll just check around every available club and see if something else happens to catch our attention,” Lindsay suggested.

“Okay, but I don't want to end up wanting to sign up for like... _five_ different things.”

“Oh, I won't let that happen. Trust me.”

Arryn let out a small laugh and as she and Lindsay turned a corner, they found themselves running right into Gavin. If Gavin hadn't been holding on tightly to his stuff, it would have ended up all over the floor.

“ _Jesus,_ Gavin,” Lindsay said as she placed her hand on her chest and took a deep breath. “Way to scare a girl.”

“Or two,” Arryn added, also clutching her chest.

Gavin smiled apologetically at them. “Sorry, Linds, Arryn, but I'm in a hurry, so I will be on my way now.” Except he wouldn't be, because he only took two steps away when an overly enthusiastic voice that said, “Look at my hair!” caught his attention. He turned back around to find the source of the voice and found himself standing still instead of leaving. He rose his eyebrows, his interest piqued at this strange, but undeniably attractive, redhead who apparently knew Lindsay.

Lindsay gasped excitedly as she stepped forward towards the girl who had spoke. “Holy shit, Meg; your hair looks incredible.”

The girl – Meg – squealed a bit as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I love it so much more than I thought I would. The second I walked into the salon, I was starting to have second thoughts, but then I just told myself, 'You know what, Meg? You aren't going to chicken out of this. You can do this, and if you end up hating it, well... you can _cry_ about it later and buy a wig, maybe.'”

The corners of Gavin's lips twitched up slightly. He stepped in right before Lindsay or Arryn could say anything to Meg. “Hi, I'm Gavin,” he abruptly introduced himself, holding out his hand for her to shake.

Meg's eyebrows twitched together as she looked at him, but she did shake his hand.

“I'm Meg,” she answered before looking to Lindsay and Arryn.

“Oh, I haven't told you yet, but I'm actually in a foster home,” Lindsay explained, and it felt odd to do so. The last time she really had to say that was when she met Barbara. Everyone else she had met already knew, but Meg was actually new to the school, so she had no idea who any of them were.

Lindsay wrapped an arm around Gavin and added, “He lives with me.”

“Well, not just me,” Gavin mumbled, shrugging the shoulder her arm was resting on.

Lindsay let go of him and nodded. “Yeah. There's also Ray and Michael.” At the sound of Michael's name, Gavin's eyes widened involuntarily and he could have cursed the way his heart even fluttered.

“Aw well, I guess I must admit something,” Meg said as she returned her gaze to Gavin, “I actually know you, or know _of_ you; you're in my English class.” She smiled sweetly.

“You are?” Gavin asked, genuinely surprised, and she nodded. “Well, I'm sorry I didn't know that. Um, I guess I'll see you there later, then?”

“Of course.” Then the bell and Meg turned her attention to the girls. “Nice talking to you both. I'll see you soon.”

“Yeah, and again, beautiful hair!” Lindsay told her as she gave her a thumbs up.

“It really suits you,” Arryn added.

Meg squealed again. “Thank you.” And with that, she was off.

Gavin smirked as he watched her go that Lindsay had to scoff to get him to look away.

“Don't do that,” she scolded.

Gavin sighed. “Sorry, Linds. I'm leaving now,” he said as he waved at her and Arryn. He then quickly headed off in a different direction while Lindsay and Arryn lingered behind and shook their heads.

Michael closed his locker and turned around just as Gavin was walking by, and although he wanted to pretend like he didn't notice, he couldn't lie to himself.

* * *

 

 

As Gavin and Kdin made their way out of the lunch line, Gavin couldn't help but notice Meg sitting alone at one of the lunch tables, but she appeared to be perfectly content eating by herself. Gavin grinned and looked at Kdin.

“See that girl over at that table alone?” He asked as he nodded in her direction.

Kdin turned his head to see her. “Yeah, what about her? I don't think I've seen her before.”

“Pretty sure she's new to this school,” Gavin explained, “But that's beside the point-”

“Then what is the point?” Kdin interjected as he stopped at a table and started sitting down.

Gavin huffed, placing his tray on the table and crossing his arms. “The point is that I met her earlier today and I think she's absolutely-”

“Awesome?”

“Stop interrupting me! But... yes, that. She is awesome. At first it looked like she wasn't very fond of me, but that must have been because I randomly popped in to introduce myself to her,” Gavin paused to think that over, an innocent smile slowly forming on his face. “Anyway! She's in my English class and she doesn't even sit too far from me! I mean, I didn't say anything to her today in there, but it's just feels great knowing someone else in there.”

“Sounds like someone might have a crush on the new girl,” Kdin teased.

Gavin rolled his eyes, but he smiled wider. “I only met her today, you prick.”

Kdin stuck out his tongue at Gavin and Gavin laughed before finally sitting down. He glanced over at Meg to find her staring at them. Realizing she had been caught, Meg grinned and waved at him.

“Would you like to meet her, Kdin?” Gavin suddenly asked, not taking his eyes off Meg.

Kdin was actually indulged in the macaroni and cheese he was eating that he didn't quite hear Gavin. He looked up from his plate and raised his eyebrows. “What?” The question came out muffled due to his full mouth.

Gavin shot him a disgusted look, to which Kdin only shrugged, and then Gavin repeated what he had previously asked.

“Oh,” Kdin swallowed the rest of the food in his mouth and nodded, “Sounds good. Sure.” So Gavin smirked and signaled for Meg to come over and join them.

Meg immediately jumped up from her seat and grabbed her tray as she headed over to them. “Hey Gavin and-” She bit down on her lower lip as she turned to Kdin and Kdin smiled up at her.

“I'm Kdin,” he introduced himself.

“Kdin, hi,” she said cheerfully as she sat down next to Gavin.

“Gavin here was just talking about you,” Kdin told her, ignoring the glare Gavin then gave him, because he was much too amused with it.

“Aw, _was_ he?” Meg asked, turning her head to look at Gavin. Gavin merely smiled lopsidedly at her.

“Yeah, he was going _on_ and _on_ about how you're really cool and-”

“Uh, so, Meg!” Gavin quickly cut Kdin off, “You're new to the school, aren't you?” Kdin stifled a laugh and looked back down at his food.

Meg also held back her laugh as she nodded. “Yeah, I am, and so far, I like it. It's kind of better than my old school.” Gavin raised an eyebrow, finding that to be a bit surprising, but of course for her it'd look better; it was all new to her.

“How so?”

“There's a lot of nice people here. I felt like everyone at my old school just liked making fun of me over everything I liked,” she grabbed a strand of her hair and sighed, “Like my hair, for example; most people at that school would have not let me hear the end of my hair color choice.”

“Well, that's stupid. I think your hair's nice,” Kdin told her.

Meg smiled softly at him. “Thank you. I really am loving it so much, way more than I thought, if I'm being honest.” She picked up her fork and began digging into her potato salad.

“People at your old school are shit and I'm glad you're here now,” Gavin said to her, sounding so casual that Kdin rolled his eyes and smiled to himself.

Meg was also smiling, but at Gavin, until her eyes slightly widened and she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Gavin's eyebrows twitched together as he and Kdin exchanged looks.

“You know what? I should get going,” Meg announced, “I want to go to the library and check out a few books, and I want to get there before it gets too full. So,” she started to stand up, “I'll talk to you guys later.” Her eyes flickered towards Kdin, “It was nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you, too.”

And with that, she went on her way, leaving Gavin to sigh in what sounded like disappointment.

“Well, she wasn't here for long at all,” he mumbled.

“Oh, yeah, _huge_ crush,” Kdin teased again.

Gavin wanted to roll his eyes and say some sort of remark, but he couldn't even stop smiling. That is, until he glanced over and saw Michael walking by. Michael appeared to be alone, holding his tray and heading towards the condiments table. Kdin noticed Gavin's attention was elsewhere and blinked.

“What?” He questioned Gavin.

Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head as he averted his eyes. “What do you mean 'what'? Obviously nothing.” As he started to get up though, Kdin flashed him a baffled look. “I just think my burger could use more... everything,” Gavin explained as he quickly stepped away and headed towards the condiments table.

Michael was just about done with adding some ketchup to his cheeseburger when he turned around and saw Gavin standing nearby – a surprise he wasn't sure was pleasant or not.

“Oh, hi Gavin,” he said softly.

Gavin knew he was staring with his mouth slightly open, so he closed it and cleared his throat before he spoke. “Michael,” he greeted calmly with a nod.

Michael remained there for a moment, as if debating whether to say something else or not, but then he simply shrugged and walked off back towards his friends. Gavin let out a sigh and turned to look at his options of vegetables and condiments.

“So I guess _some_ things are still the same,” he heard Lindsay say beside him, and he turned his head to see her smiling at him.

“What? That I like a lot of stuff on my burger?” He asked.

Lindsay crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. “No, Gavin, not that.”

“Then what?”

Lindsay gestured towards where Michael was now sitting and Gavin groaned.

“I've been over Michael for months now, Lindsay.”

“If you were, you wouldn't get that look of ' _I totally love you_ ' on your face every time he's around you.”

Gavin squinted his eyes at her as he gripped his tray. “I'm done with him, Lindsay. And you know, sometimes I wonder what I even saw in him in the first place. I must have just been caught up in those _pretty_ _little_ brown eyes of his.” Lindsay simply furrowed her eyebrows.

“I think I'll just head back to Kdin now,” Gavin then said. He waited a moment to see if Lindsay would say anything more, but she made it clear she was done talking to him for now, so without bothering to say something else either, he walked away.

 


	27. Twenty-seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o

Walking up to the theater room felt a little more exciting than it should have been, but ever since Lindsay and her friends officially wrote their names down on that sign up sheet, Lindsay kept thinking the first meeting day couldn't arrive faster. Entering the theater, the girls found that mostly everyone else that had signed up were already there. The drama teacher – Mrs. Spencer – was standing around in the front, clearly waiting for everyone to show up that she was expecting. Lindsay, Barbara, Arryn, and Kara made their way towards the middle seats where some other students were seated. They sat down and sighed happily.

Mrs. Spencer looked up from a clipboard she was holding and smiled at them. “Oh, hello new people. Are your names on the list?” The girls nodded. “And what are they?”

“I'm Lindsay.”

“I'm Barbara.”

“Arryn!”

“And Kara,” Kara finished off by gesturing to herself.

Mrs. Spencer nodded and went ahead to check off their names from the list. As soon as the rest of the newly club members arrived, she placed her clipboard aside before she spoke.

“Welcome, everyone. Now usually I would start off by explaining every little thing that we'll be doing here, but I actually want to begin with getting to know each other.”

“Ooh, can I start?!” Barbara asked as she jumped up from her seat, raising her hand also.

Mrs. Spencer let out a small laugh and held out her arms, “Be my guest. I've never had such an eager student.” It wasn't exactly that Barbara was eager to let everyone in the theater room get to know her, but that she wanted to make a good first impression before anyone could make assumptions. She went on to explain a little bit of her interests, the usual stuff, and then even started making puns about said things, getting groans out of her friends but laughs out of everyone else.

Lindsay decided to go next, then Kara, and then Arryn. Mrs. Spencer made it evident that she was very happy with the girls being there and the girls were confident that they were going to be fast favorites, or at least, very memorable club members.

The next thing they did was go over some of the basic rules and what they were going to start off learning in there.

“Our first short play doesn't start until next month, but our first _real_ play is in November,” Mrs. Spencer explained, “So, I have time to go over everything with each of you if you continue to attend and participate in this club, because I've had students who come the first day and then are never heard of again.”

“Hmm, the quitters,” Barbara commented, and she started clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she shook her head.

Mrs. Spencer nodded and pointed at her. “Exactly, the quitters.” She turned her attention to everyone else. “If any of you plan on never returning, you can get up and leave right now instead of wasting my time.” There was silence throughout the theater that not even the slightest echo could be heard. It seemed each student was going to be committed to drama club.

“Very well, then. Now, I could jump ahead and let you know what plays we're doing exactly, but... I think surprises are much more fun. So, let's get started on the first small lessons that we need to get through, such as, diaphragmatic breathing. If you happen to have a paper and a pen or pencil, I would suggest taking a bit of notes.” The sound of ruffling and binders opening started to fill the place and Mrs. Spencer smiled as she went on to explain exactly what diaphragmatic breathing was and how it was used for drama.

It was safe to say that, for a first day in the club, it went much more better than the girls expected.

 

* * *

 

The first football game happened on a Friday that Michael wanted to spend at home and be lazy after what felt like one of the longest weeks of school so far. Kyle and Chris were not letting him do that, though. They practically dragged him out of the house and into Kyle's mom's car.

“We made a promise to Blaine,” Chris reminded him as they sat in the car, putting on their seat belts.

Michael rolled his eyes but smiled. “I know. I was just seeing if I could get out of it.”

“Nope,” Chris and Kyle both said.

Mrs. Taylor let Kyle know when and where she needed to pick him up and he gave her a thumbs up before turning and following Michael and Chris up to the gate. After buying their tickets, Chris wandered to the concession stand while Kyle and Michael went searching for decent seats on the bleachers. They managed to get there early enough to find an almost full free bench. Chris returned to their side with nachos, slices of pizza, and drinks for all of them.

“So, what's going on so far?”

“Don't even ask me, because I have no fucking idea how football works,” Michael told him.

“Didn't Blaine try teaching us one time with pretzels?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah, _tried_.”

“That's okay; we don't have to understand what's happening to support him,” Chris assured them.

“Just go 'yay' every time everyone else does,” Kyle added, and, as if on cue, most of the students jumped up and cheered. Kyle exchanged looks with Michael and Chris before they sighed and jumped up, screaming “Yay!” in their best excited voices.

As they sat back down, Michael asked, “That good enough?”

“Yeah,” Kyle answered as he patted Michael's back.

“What number is Blaine?” Chris then asked as he tried scanning the football players for their friend.

Kyle opened his mouth to respond when his eyes widened in realization and Michael huffed in frustration.

“Oh my god, we don't even know that,” Kyle spoke.

“We're such good friends, aren't we?” Michael joked.

The three of them continued to sit there and watch, occasionally stuffing their faces with food and jumping up again to cheer along with everyone else. They finally figured out which number Blaine was and kept their eyes on him, screaming out words of encouragement obnoxiously loud every time the ball was thrown to him. They actually managed to get completely into the game, despite the fact that they still barely understood what was going on, that by the time it was over, they were surprised, but their shock was turned into more shouting and cheering because their team had won.

Michael accidentally tossed the rest of his nachos in the air when he had jumped up from his seat, Chris dropped his drink, causing it to splash on himself and mostly on the three people sitting in front of him, earning glares to be thrown at him, and Kyle was trying hard to swallow the rest of his pizza through his cheers. Before the three who had been washed in Chris' drink could say something to him, Michael and Kyle dragged him away and to safety.

Blaine immediately threw off his helmet and wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand, taking deep breaths to calm his fast beating heart, but winning always gave him a good kind of rush. He was following his teammates back to the locker room when he heard his friends yelling from the side.

“Yeah! Blaine! That's what I'm talking about!” That sounded like Kyle, only with a deeper, overly excited tone. Blaine turned his head and grinned to see him standing next to Michael and Chris near the fence.

Blaine waved at them and hurried towards the locker room to quickly get washed up and meet them out afterward.

“Man, that was... awesome,” Kyle breathed out.

“I'm so proud of him,” Chris added, placing a hand over his chest and pretending he was actually tearing up about it.

Michael laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, that was fun. We should have came to these before.”

“Don't admit that to Blaine, though,” Kyle said as they headed towards the exit, “He would shut the fuck up and keep saying he told us so.”

“Noted.”

Once Blaine and his teammates were finished, they headed to the parking lot to meet up with every one of their friends for a celebration. Blaine ran over to his friends and immediately wrapped his arms around all three of them as best as he could.

“I kept hearing you guys screaming up there like kids,” he told them, then he sniffled. “You don't know how happy that made me.”

“Shut up,” Michael said as he gently pushed him off, and Blaine started laughing.

“No, but seriously, guys; thank you so much for coming.”

“We were confused, but we had fun,” Chris said.

“Blaine!” Blaine turned around to find who had called him and saw his teammates waving him over. “You guys coming or what?!”

Blaine nodded and looked at his friends. “Come on, let's go.”

* * *

 

“Okay, so then cosine does this... no but wait, wouldn't it be tangent? So, tangent... tangent piece of shit,” Miles grumbled as he tossed his binder, pencil, and paper aside for the tenth time and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Ray looked up at him from his own homework and smiled slightly at his reaction.

“I hardly understand what I'm even doing,” Miles said as he crossed his arms. “There's so much formulas and letters. What the fuck is any of this stuff? This isn't science, it's math. So, where are my numbers at?”

“Yeah, sometimes I feel like basic math is really the only math we need to know,” Ray replied, “But that isn't going to stop them from teaching us more and frying our brains.”

Miles groaned, which quickly turned into a whine. He reached over and picked up his things again to attempt to solve the problem without getting frustrated.

“How's the essay coming along?”

“Oh, you know, half-assed and almost done.”

“Mmm, beautiful.”

Gavin began heading down the stairs and glanced over at the two sitting on the couch on his way into the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets because Geoff had already mentioned that they were just going to have leftovers for dinner and Gavin wasn't in the mood for more ribs and pasta. He pulled out the bread and set it on the counter before walking to the refrigerator for everything he wanted to put on a sandwich.

He heard loud footsteps making their way down the steps and he looked over his shoulder to find Lindsay, Barbara, and Meg. Lindsay stood by the front door and she and Barbara turned to look at Meg.

“Sucks you have to go already,” Barbara told her.

“Yeah, I know,” Meg sighed.

Gavin grabbed everything he needed and placed it onto the counter as he caught Meg's eye. The corners of Meg's mouth rose as she waved at him. Gavin quickly walked around the counter and over to the girls.

“Leaving already?” He asked Meg.

“Yeah, I have some family members coming over tomorrow, so I should be going now.”

Gavin smiled and nodded. He grabbed the doorknob of the front door and was going to open it for her when the door opened first, almost knocking Gavin over. Meg laughed at what was close to just occurring and placed her hands on Gavin's shoulders to help him catch his balance.

“Are you okay?” She asked through her laughter.

Gavin could feel heat rushing to his face, but he forced a grin. “Y-yeah, I'm fine,” he answered.

Michael was the one who was walking into the house and when he looked over and saw the two, he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Hey, Michael's home!” Barbara cheerfully announced.

Meg put her hands down and turned around. “Hi Michael! We haven't officially met yet, but I'm-”

“Megan Turney,” Michael finished for her, “Yeah, I know. You're in my English class.” Meg smiled wide and nodded.

“I actually prefer to be called Meg, not Megan, but yeah. It's nice to finally meet you; I've heard a _ton_ about you.”

Michael blinked. “You have?”

“Uh, guilty,” Lindsay stated as she and Barbara raised their hands. Michael's mouth twitched up a little as he faced them.

“Now I _really_ have to go,” Meg said. She turned to Lindsay and wrapped her arms around her for a quick hug. She did the same to Barbara, and then to Gavin, and Michael tried not letting himself feel anything about it, because it wasn't even worth the jealousy. When Meg pulled out of her hug with Gavin, she gave Michael a big, toothy smile and headed out the door. Michael closed the door behind her and sighed quietly.

“I'm starving,” Barbara then said as she patted her stomach. Lindsay nodded and suggested they go heat up those leftovers, and Barbara happily agreed as she followed Lindsay.

As they walked off, Gavin asked Michael, “She seems great, doesn't she?”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and looked at him. “Meg? Yeah, she really does.” And then there was that silence that was basically a common thing to happen now between any of them.

Gavin actually ended up speaking again, though, breaking that awkward barrier. “Well, I hope you had a good time at the game,” he said as he started taking a few steps away.

“I did,” Michael blandly replied.

Gavin licked his lips, going through his mind to see if there anything else he could say, but he couldn't think of a good thing. “Okay,” he said before turning around and walking into the kitchen to finish and retrieve the sandwich he was making himself.

Michael watched him a moment, but then he simply headed upstairs. Ray and Miles had been staring at them the whole time and once Michael was gone, they looked at each other and frowned.

 

* * *

 

When Monday came around again, Michael entered his fourth period class after a rather long morning, and found the last thing he wanted to deal with on the board: _First English project of the semester. Partners will be assigned._

Great. Michael rolled his eyes and headed over to his desk. Chris was already there and looked up from his phone to smile at Michael.

“A fucking project. Well, isn't that just _perfect_?” Michael bitterly asked.

“Hey, we could get lucky and get paired together,” Chris told him.

“Yeah, I highly doubt that.”

Once the bell rang and everyone was seated in their proper seats, their teacher stood up to explain exactly what this project was going to consist of.

“Basically, you get to choose exactly what to do with it,” she explained, “It can be on poetry, on a novel, or you can go over plagiarism and give examples of it, just _anything_ that has to do with English and literature, as long as you present it via poster board or power point. You have to give a thorough explanation about it and if you're doing a power point, make sure it is _at_ _least_ three slides long. Sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? I didn't want to completely overwhelm you guys with the first project of the year.”

Michael was tapping his foot, because he just wanted her to get to the partner assigning already so he can mentally complain about who he had to be stuck working with. He really did hope it was Chris, but he just didn't think life was that friendly to him. It never had been.

Finally, Ms. Davis picked up a sheet that had writing all over it and started to read down the list of partners. It was in order, it seemed, or at least in order of the first partner's last name, because when she got to the D's, she called out Chris' name with someone whose last name started with an 'M', and Michael practically pouted as he made eye contact with Chris.

“Oh, damn,” Chris said under his breath. 

Michael slumped in his seat and listened to the rest of the pairings.

“Okay, Gavin Free will be paired with... Megan Turney,” Ms. Davis announced and Michael raised his eyebrows. He looked over to see the way Meg gave Gavin thumbs up and he grinned at her, and Michael _almost_ rolled his eyes at the sight of the two.

Their teacher continued down the list when finally, she made it to Michael's name, and Michael looked down at his desk, _hoping_ he would get someone that wasn't annoying and that would really help him with the project. He couldn't even imagine ending up with someone who make him do most of the work, because he barely cared about this project to begin with.

But then... “Michael, you'll be with Kerry Shawcross.”

Wait...

Michael's head immediately shot up at that, his eyes widening. He found himself frantically looking around the room until he did a double-take at the student sitting in the right, top corner desk.

“Kerry,” he breathed out, making Chris look at him.

Kerry didn't bother to even glance back at him, but Michael could see the side of his face and the unpleasant expression he was wearing. Michael tried to look away, but he felt struck by the sight of him, especially since he wasn't able to believe that he hadn't noticed him in class before. Well, if he was being honest, he didn't know half the people in any of his classes, but _Kerry_ ; how did he over look him?

It had been so long... too long. And Michael felt his throat go dry the more he stared at Kerry. He tried swallowing hard, but it barely helped.

“Michael, what's wrong?” Chris asked him in a hushed tone so their teacher wouldn't hear.

Michael took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Chris. “What? Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“You look... scared. Are you sure?” Michael wrinkled up his nose at him and nodded, so Chris merely shrugged and went back to listening to Ms. Davis speak. Michael's expression softened as his eyes wandered back to Kerry. He wasn't even sure how to feel about this. A part of him was slightly relieved, but the other part of him, the one that was constantly screaming at him about why he and Kerry no longer talked was making him utterly nervous about being paired up with him.

Ms. Davis went on to explain in further detail about the project by giving examples of the passed year's projects. She then asked if anyone had questions and the rest of the hour was spent answering those questions. Right when the bell ring, Michael thought his heart had truly stopped as he saw Kerry start to get up and gather his things. Without bothering to wait for Chris, Michael almost knocked over his seat from how fast he got up, and he hurried towards the door before Kerry could to wait for him there. Kerry hardly glanced at him on his way out, but that didn't stop Michael from hesitantly going after him.

“Kerry, hey. Man, I haven't seen you in _forever._ ” No response. Michael bit down on his lower lip because he couldn't just walk away. If it was up to him, he would skip out on the project, but leaving all the work to Kerry was not in the slightest bit of fair. So, he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Hey, we have to work on this project whether we like it or not, so... can we just... you know, schedule a time and place we can work on it?” He halted in his tracks when Kerry abruptly did.

“I guess we can meet at my house,” Kerry told him, shrugging a shoulder and avoiding eye contact by keeping his back to Michael.

Michael nodded, though he frowned more than he already was. “Kerry, look... I-I want you to know that I'm sorry-”

“Well, I gotta go,” Kerry cut him off, “I don't want to be late to...” then he cursed under his breath when he remembered exactly what time it was.

“Yeah, late to lunch?” Michael retorted.

“I'm supposed to meet someone and I don't want to keep them waiting,” Kerry redeemed himself, his tone bitter as he glared at Michael over his shoulder.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat, because finally Kerry looked him in the eyes, but it was the coldest look he'd ever seen on Kerry, and Michael decided it was best if he didn't say anything else. Kerry shook his head and headed off just when someone tapped Michael on the shoulder. Michael wanted to tell whoever it was to fuck off, but he turned around anyway and was more than surprised to be faced with Meg.

And she was smiling, as always.

“Hey, Michael! Have you and your partner decided on what exactly your project is going to be about?”

A small ache started to form in Michael's chest at the mention of Kerry. He looked in the direction Kerry had disappeared in and shook his head instead of giving a verbal reply. Meg didn't seem to mind, because she was talking again.

“That's okay, but! If you end up choosing something similar to what Gav and I have planned, I was thinking that we could sort of collaborate, you know? It'll make it easier for the four of us and we can be the first groups done,” she kept going on and on about that, but Michael wasn't even listening, because his mind was currently too occupied.

“ _No, it's fine, Michael.” Michael managed to look at him again, his lips set in a straight line. “Go ahead,” Kerry went on, “Drink away your problems. It won't last long anyway.”_

His eyes were watering, Michael knew that, since, even with his glasses on, his vision was getting far too blurry. Meg noticed as well and stopped talking about the project to ask, “Are you... are you okay?”

Michael averted his eyes, feeling that ache in his chest increase along with his breathing. “I-I... no. I'll never really be okay,” he practically whispered.

“Aw, what do you mean? Of course you will be. What's wrong?” Meg sounded so sincere that Michael wanted to hate himself for the fact that he was about to just walk away from her. He just couldn't be around anyone right now. He needed to be alone, no matter how nice the person talking to him was. Without a word, he turned on his heel and stormed off as quickly as he could before Meg could even try to stop him.

There was so many damn people in the hallway that it was difficult squeezing his way through to get to a restroom, and much to his annoyance, when he got to one and walked in, it was quite full. Everyone apparently needed to pee before lunch.

“God damnit,” he muttered under his breath, feeling his chest getting heavier by the second. He waited by the door, trying to be as patient as possible as he waited for one of the stalls to get empty, and the second someone walked out of one, he ran towards it, not caring if anyone else had been waiting. Someone must have been, because he heard an angry, “What the fuck?” as he got inside and locked the door.

And then, he let out a soft whimper, backing away from the door a little to not be heard by anyone nearby. With how loud everyone was speaking in the restroom, he knew the chances of him being heard were slim, yet he tried keeping his cries as quiet as possible. He shut his eyes tightly, clutching his own shirt, because he needed to calm himself down, but he wasn't sure how to do that. A buzz in his pocket startled him a bit, making him open his eyes and gasp. He looked down at his pocket and pulled his phone out. There was a new message from Lindsay.

Michael took his glasses off and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before he read what she sent him.

> Lindsay: Meg just told me you seemed really upset. Are you okay? I can come find you and we can talk about it if you'd like.

Michael's lower lip quivered and he closed his eyes again as more tears made their way down his cheeks. He didn't make anymore noises as he stood there, wiping his eyes every few seconds and listened to the way the restroom become quieter and quieter until it was clear he was alone. He carefully put his glasses into their case and into his backpack before sniffling and walking out of the stall.

Looking himself in the mirror, he scoffed at how puffy and red his eyes now were. He told himself not to be surprised, because he knew, deep down, the urge to cry had been there for a while now. Seeing Kerry again and remembering what happened between them was enough to make that urge too difficult to ignore.

He turned on the faucet and splashed his face with water a bit. He then turned it off and grabbed a paper towel to dry himself off. His breath was a little shaky, but it would soon return to normal, along with his eyes; they would soon clear up and nobody would even be able to tell that he cried, which was all he wanted at the moment.

But until then, he would stay in the library.

On his way out of the restroom, he took his phone back out of his pocket to reply to Lindsay.

> Michael: No, I'm fine.

 


	28. Twenty-eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a new song to the playlist. It's not really the song of the chapter, but it fits pretty well with Michael and Gavin's current situation. It's "I Don't Wanna Be In Love" by Dark Waves.

Michael's original plan was to go to the cafeteria after he was sure the fact that he had cried was not as noticeable anymore, but as soon as he got to the library and sat down, he really didn't want to leave anymore. His phone had buzzed a few times with text messages from Lindsay (she wasn't convinced he was fine), Kyle (asking him where the hell he was), Blaine (telling Michael that they were serving good food today so he needed to join them), and Chris (who was just concerned). Michael shot them all a quick reply before getting back to his own thoughts.

> Michael to Lindsay: Yeah, well, believe me already so you can stop worrying.
> 
> To Kyle: I have something to take care of right now with my Geometry teacher.
> 
> To Blaine: Not hungry.
> 
> And to Chris: Don't tell the other two, but I just need a moment alone right now. Please don't tell them.

He sighed as he put his phone back into his pocket and ran his fingers through his hair.

 _Kerry Shawcross_. He really never expected to see him again. After that regretful night of letting Kerry walk away, Michael did try forgetting about him as an attempt of ridding himself of the guilt he felt inside every time he thought about him. Back then, he didn't want to feel guilty; he wanted to pretend like he didn't need to, but he knew he did, and he hated that. He did his best, every night, to distract himself from thinking about Kerry, and sometimes it worked, until he went to school and was forced to see Kerry in the hallways, and on the bus.

It went on like that for the rest of his seventh grade year, and then, it all stopped in eighth grade. He never saw Kerry around school, he never saw him on the bus anymore. It was as if Kerry simply disappeared, but Kerry hadn't. Kerry always saw Michael around and before, he knew Michael noticed him, too, but after that long (but probably not long enough) summer vacation, it was like he no longer existed to him. It wasn't that Michael believed Kerry had moved or no longer attended the same school, it was that he tried his best to forget him, to forget the guilt, that it finally happened without him realizing it.

Now he knew Kerry was still around and that guilt he thought was gone was suddenly back and worse than ever.

Michael's eyes were beginning to burn a little again, but before any tears could escape him without much of his control, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly in his seat. He looked up and sighed in relief when he just saw that it was Chris.

“Still feel like being alone?” Chris asked, a small, sincere smile on his face.

Michael shrugged the shoulder his hand was on, making Chris put his hand down.

“You're not giving me much of a choice, so go ahead and sit down,” Michael mumbled.

Chris did so, pulling the empty chair out and sitting down right next to Michael. “I'm guessing you know that Kerry guy, right?”

“That obvious?”

“Considering you got the look of a someone who just saw a ghost on your face when the teacher said you were partnered with him, I would say yeah.”

Michael snickered and averted his eyes.

“Yeah, he was... we were friends once,” he said softly.

Chris nodded, smiling sadly, and Michael was momentarily grateful Chris wasn't asking what happened or anything of the sort. He knew Chris was waiting for that explanation, though. He just wasn't going to ask for it.

Michael took a deep breath and turned to face him better before he started to speak, “When I left the group home to go live with the Ramseys, I had to start at a whole new school, which I was both fucking annoyed about, but also glad, for obvious reasons,” Chris nodded as he listened, “I never had friends at my old school; no one wanted to be friends with the kid who was constantly nervous, angry, and would come to school with mysterious bruises, so going into this new school, I didn't expect friends...” Michael paused as he started to think back to that first day.

“Typically, I was picked on when I got here, and I even got into some trouble in the first few hours. I almost got into _more_ trouble at lunch, but uh, Kerry pretty much stopped me. He told me to ignore them and, I don't know, just the fact that someone was actually talking to me in a casual way made me feel calmer. I also had this fucked up eye at the time and I thought Kerry was going to completely freak out when he saw it, but when I turned to look at him, it was like he didn't even notice it. He just kept smiling and being _nice_ to me. It was _weird..._ ” Michael stopped talking again and raised his eyebrows.

“... I mean, in a good way, but why be nice to me? No one was ever nice to me, but he was, and I... I did what I do best – I fucked up. I left him to be friends with, well, you know, the assholes we actually thought were cool.”

Chris sighed and sat back in his seat. Michael frowned and looked away.

“I just wish I could tell him how sorry I am, but I don't think he gives a shit to hear.”

“That doesn't mean you can't still try,” Chris told him.

“I did try.”

“Well, not here at school with everyone around, but you're gonna be alone together at some point to work on the project, right? Try then.”

Michael pursed his lips, but he had to admit, that was a pretty good idea. He looked at Chris again and smiled, receiving a smile in return.

When the bell rang for lunch to end, Michael and Chris walked out of the library, but they said their goodbyes and went their different ways to their next class. On his way there, Michael noticed Kerry talking to someone, but it seemed they were about to depart from each other, so Michael starting heading his way.

“Yeah, okay, well see you later, JJ,” Kerry said to the person he had been talking to before turning around and gasping at the sight of Michael standing right behind him.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke, “I didn't mean to scare you, but I just-I just wanted to ask you what your address was and when exactly we can, we, uh, can meet up.” Michael wasn't quite sure if he had ever stuttered that badly with anyone who wasn't his parents, but he wished he could relax a little.

Kerry looked down at his binder and ripped out sheet of paper from inside. He also pulled out a pen and started scribbling down something – his address, Michael assumed – on the paper. Kerry clicked the button on top of the pen and seemed to hesitate before picking up the paper and handing it to Michael. Michael smiled at him as he took it, but Kerry looked as serious as can be.

“This Saturday at noon. That sound good to you?”

Michael's smile slowly faltered as he nodded in response and Kerry walked around him to head off in another direction. Michael was already feeling anxious about the idea of having to go over to Kerry's house and actually work on a project with him.

 

* * *

 

“You should try joining drama club,” Barbara suggested to Meg as they, Lindsay, Arryn, and Kara made their way outside the school building.

“I feel like I'm too late, though,” Meg answered, receiving a gentle nudge from Lindsay.

“Mrs. Spencer loves us, so she can make an exception, especially if you show commitment.”

Meg laughed softly and shrugged. “I could think about it.”

“That's all we ask for,” Arryn said as she patted Meg's back.

The girls continued to walk Lindsay and Meg to the bus line until they had to go and meet up with their own rides. Meg then remembered that she forgot her Chemistry textbook in her locker and hurried back into the building.

“Okay, well, I'll save you a seat on the bus!” Lindsay called after her.

“Thank you!”

Lindsay smiled and turned around, finding Michael standing nearby. She smiled a little wider and went up to stand next to him. Michael was distracted by reading over a sort of list that Lindsay couldn't help but peek over to see what it was. An eyebrow rose when she saw a list of looked like English topics.

“Homework?” She asked suddenly.

Michael whipped his head up, finally noticing Lindsay was standing next to him, and then he nodded.

“Yeah, well, sort of... it's for an English project.”

“Oh, you have Ms. Davis?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, my English teacher doesn't believe in giving us projects apparently.”

Michael started folding up the paper and sighed. “Well, lucky you,” he grumbled.

“Hey, cheer up. Just choose the easiest one on the list and you'll be done before you know it.”

“I guess.”

Lindsay squinted her eyes at him and crossed her arms. “And you still have explaining to do about earlier. Meg was really worried; she said you looked incredibly upset.”

“Why does she care? She doesn't know me,” Michael hadn't meant to sound so bitter about it, but it just came out that way.

“Okay, true. She may have just met you, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care.”

“Lindsay...” And this time, instead of an angry tone, it was more of a whiny one.

“Michael,” Lindsay made sure to sound stern.

“I don't want to talk about this, okay?”

“But Michael, I can't just go on like I don't know something's up with you. You know that's going to bother me more than I'd like, but I can't help that you mean a lot to me and-” She stopped talking when Michael looked away and shook his head. Lindsay pouted a little as she tried to think of what else to say now, since Michael was seriously in no mood to discuss this.

“Hey, look, I know these past months have _sucked,_ ” she started, getting him to look at her again, “and I know that Gavin and you not being as close anymore probably has something to do with it, because...” she trailed off as her eyes widened and Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

“Because what?” He asked.

Lindsay glanced over her shoulder to see Gavin walking up to the line with Kdin, but he seemed too indulged in his conversation to pay attention to anything or anyone else around them. Lindsay then looked back at Michael with an innocent smile.

Michael rolled his eyes. “What he and I had wasn't serious-”

“I've heard,” Lindsay interjected.

“-and it ended as fast as it started, so it doesn't even matter. It...” Michael cut himself off for a moment as he looked at where Gavin was standing, laughing at something Kdin said. He swallowed hard and looked down at the floor next. “It never did.” Lindsay was frowning even more now.

“It didn't?” She asked.

“It was months ago, Lindsay,” Michael answered, his voice getting louder, “So, let's just forget about it. What matters now is that he's happy and that he seems pretty fucking interested in Meg, so whatever happens there with them, well, _good_ for him. He wouldn't be able to deal with me anyway; I'm just a person filled with a bunch of problems that are never resolved.”

Lindsay opened her mouth to respond, but that's when the bus drove up and parked in front of them. Michael turned his attention towards it and waited until his turn to get on. Lindsay went in almost after him and sighed as she sat down. She looked out the window and saw Meg hurrying back to the bus, and she tilted her head slightly, thinking back to what Michael said about Meg and Gavin. It wasn't long until Meg was sitting down next to her.

“Phew, made it,” Meg breathed out, placing her textbook on her lap.

Lindsay smiled at her and scooted closer to her before resting her head on her shoulder.

“So, is Michael okay?” Meg asked quietly. Lindsay's smile faded slowly.

“I hope so.”

* * *

 

Lindsay didn't want to ask Meg if she truly did feel something for Gavin, because she didn't want Meg to feel uncomfortable or awkward answering it, especially if she didn't like Gavin romantically. She kept it to herself and just secretly looked more into the way the two interacted with each other. After a few days, she did begin to notice how Gavin did blatantly flirt with Meg, but it almost looked forced, and it was as if Meg could tell that, too, because each time, she would merely laugh. Other than that, though, they looked to be as casual of friends as can be.

Despite the fact that Michael was the one who pointed that out, he didn't seem bothered by Meg in anyway. Sometimes she would try talking to him before and after English class, and Michael found himself really liking her. There were times where he felt the pang of annoyance every time he saw the way Meg and Gavin communicated, but he always shook the feelings off and tried minding his own business.

On Friday, there was another football game, and of course, Michael was going again. At around six, he heard the doorbell ring and hurried downstairs to greet Kyle and Chris.

“Heading to the game?” Griffon asked as he walked passed her.

“Yeah, but I won't be out too late,” he reassured her.

“Wait, football game?” He heard Meg ask, because it was becoming a thing for her, Barbara, Arryn, and Kara to come over every Friday. Michael looked at her standing in the living room over his shoulder and nodded.

Meg threw her hands up and turned to face her friends. “Guys, we should go! It could be fun.”

Arryn's eyes brightened. “I'm definitely not opposed to that idea, but I'm going to get Miles to come, because he'll hate it,” she said as she took out her phone.

Meg grinned at her and looked to everyone else for their answer.

Lindsay nodded. “Sure, that sounds fun.”

“I guess it's better than being holed up in here all night,” Barbara told them.

“Then it's settled – we're going,” Kara announced as she got up from the couch. Lindsay and Barbara followed.

“Hey, Miles,” Arryn cheerfully greeted when Miles picked up, “So, we're actually about to head to the football game tonight and I thought it'd be nice if you joined us.”

“Does 'we're' include Ray?” Miles asked.

“No... I don't think so. He's up in his room and I haven't seen him since I got here.”

The corners of Miles' mouth rose. “Oh, he'll be going, too. I'll see you there.” Arryn also smiled before hanging up.

“Okay, then, let's go!” Meg said excitedly as she started heading towards the front door where Michael was still standing.

“Go where?” Gavin asked and everyone turned their head to see him walking down the stairs.

“The football game,” Griffon answered, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, “And I'm guessing you'll all need a ride?”

Lindsay quickly made her way over to Griffon. “Would you, Griffon?” She clasped her hands together.

Griffon let out a small laugh and nodded. “Of course,” she said.

“Well, I already have a ride, so...” Michael said as he turned to the door and opened it to find his friends standing on the other side.

“About time, Michael, we've been standing out here forever,” Kyle complained, although he was grinning.

“Sorry,” Michael murmured as he walked out and followed Kyle and Chris to the car.

“Okay, let's all hurry up, then,” Griffon said, walking out as well. One by one, the others followed, except for Gavin who tried making his way to the living room and saying, “Yeah, have fun.”

“No, you're going too,” Meg told him as she grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out the door with her.

“Are we just gonna leave Ray home without telling him where we're going?” Barbara asked everyone.

“Miles is going to stop by here first to get him and then he'll meet us at the game,” Arryn answered.

“He should still know we're leaving, though,” Lindsay said as she walked back up to the door and poked her head into the house, “Ray! We're all going to the game so take care!” And she almost laughed because she knew he would be going to that same game soon enough.

Ray heard her and just shrugged before getting back to what he was watching online. He had the house to himself and that sounded both amazing and a bit depressing. Geoff was out with his coworkers, celebrating a long week of getting things done, so he wouldn't be home for a while, but when Ray heard the front door open around twenty minutes later, he sat up abruptly.

“That can't be Geoff already,” he said under his breath as he closed the laptop and set it aside. He couldn't even try to convince himself that he wasn't nervous about getting up and going to check to see who it was. He was slow about it, taking careful steps to not make any noise, but as he opened his bedroom door and heard footsteps going up the stairs, he froze.

“Fuck,” he whispered, deciding it was best that he locked the door and hid somewhere inside. Before he could do that, Miles jumped into his view and Ray screamed as he almost fell backwards.

“F-fuck you, Miles!” Ray shouted after regaining his balance. “You scared the hell out of me!”

“Well, at least now you're cleansed,” Miles told him, smiling proudly.

Ray took a deep, shaky breath and gave him a dull look. “Ha-ha, very funny. Now, what are you doing here and why didn't you give me a warning first?”

“Did I have to?” Miles asked, his eyes wandering over to the laptop on Ray's bed. “Oh, were you...” He gestured towards it.

Ray furrowed his eyebrows, but then he got what Miles was referring to. “What the- no!”

“Then I don't see why a warning would be necessary.”

“So you don't scare me like you did!”

“Oh, well, maybe.”

Ray huffed and placed his hands on his hips. “Just tell me what you're doing here. Your girlfriend just left, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know, and that's why I'm here; we're going to go join them.”

“At the football game?”

“Yes.”

“No! I'm not going to that! You convinced me to go to a stupid school dance last year and you're not about to convince me to go to this stupid game.”

Miles scoffed and shook his head. “It's not going to be stupid! And you have to admit, that dance wasn't bad.”

“It wasn't, but that's beyond the point-”

“Is it, though?”

“Shut up! I'm not going,” Ray declared as he turned back to his bed.

“No, please! My mom's waiting, come on!” Miles begged, beginning to bounce up and down slightly like a small child. “I don't want her to get mad for driving me all the way over here first!”

“That's your fault.”

“ _Ray_!”

And Ray groaned as he grabbed his jacket off the edge of his bed and stormed out of his bedroom, purposely shoving Miles on his way out. Miles did a little victory cheer to himself before following Ray.

At the game, Kyle, Chris, and Michael sat around the same spot they sat last time. It was a row that was close to being filled up, so the three sat down and Michael didn't expect the others to sit with them, but of course, they did. Gavin was in front of them and when he saw that he would have to sit right next to Michael, he stopped and tried letting Meg go first.

“Go ahead, love, sit down,” Gavin said, nodding his head towards the spot. “I'll be right next to you.”

Meg raised an eyebrow and gently pushed Gavin forward. “You'll still be next to me, you dumbass. Just sit down,” she said playfully.

Gavin sighed deeply and went ahead. Michael held back the displeased noise threatening to come out when Gavin sat down. He noticed that Gavin had purposely left a distance between them, one that was quickly closed when Miles and Ray eventually arrived and more room was needed in their row. Gavin was left brushing against Michael and he felt miserable about it, especially when his hands began to sweat. Michael tried getting closer to Chris, because he very much preferred being squished against Chris.

Chris noticed and said to him in a hushed tone, “We can move and sit somewhere else.”

“I don't want to be rude by doing that,” Michael told him, being equally as quiet.

Kyle realized what was going on and looked over at Gavin. “Hey, Gavin,” he greeted, and Gavin looked at him, “How are you? Long time since I've talked to you.” But Gavin merely shrugged and broke eye contact.

“Looks like he has no problem being rude,” Chris whispered to Michael. Michael bit down on his bottom lip and nodded.

“This is such a waste of time,” Ray grumbled, mostly to himself, but Miles heard him loud and clear.

“You know, you can either make the best of being here and cheer up, or you can act like that and make me sad.”

Ray looked at Miles and smiled as best as he could. “Well, can't have you being sad now, can I?”

“Kdin is a lucky bastard because he isn't here,” Gavin whispered to Meg.

Meg gently gave him a slap on the arm and Gavin pursed his lips as he attempted to pay attention to what was even going on in the game. Michael did that as well, his eyes scanning the field until he found Blaine and just like the last game, he, Kyle, and Chris cheered ridiculously loud every time Blaine did something. Gavin would glance over at Michael each time, but Michael was too into the game now to notice him looking. He was going to turn to Meg and tell her something when she, along with practically everyone else, jumped up in excitement. Gavin looked back at Michael to see Michael standing as well, the biggest smile Gavin had ever seen on his face, and since Gavin had no idea why they were all excited, he simply clapped.

He looked up to stare at Michael again, seeing that big smile still there, and without really realizing it, his lips were curling up. Meg glanced down at Gavin and then at Michael before turning away and smiling to herself.

 


	29. Twenty-nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains talk and descriptions of child abuse.

Meg had told Gavin to get comfortable, so naturally, he went ahead and lied down on her bed, practically taking up all the space. She was downstairs gathering a few things and when she returned to her room to find Gavin lying on it like it was his, she laughed.

“I see you take the term ' _make yourself at home_ ' literally.”

Feeling heat rush to his cheeks, Gavin slowly sat up and smiled at her. Meg walked over and handed him a water bottle before sitting down next to him on the bed.

“Okay, Gav,” she said as she pulled out her binder from her backpack resting nearby. “I got a song to show you.”

“Aw, you wrote me a song?” Gavin asked, his confidence returning as he grinned at her.

Meg narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head. “It's the song we'll be analyzing for our project, and it's definitely not something I wrote, but I really like this song and since you weren't helping me pick out a poem, I don't care if you're happy with my choice or not,” she sounded stern, but she was smiling.

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows as she paced the paper the lyrics were printed on. She noticed his baffled look and questioned it.

“Well, it's just that, a song... that counts as a poem?” He asked.

“Shut up and read it.”

Gavin sighed loudly and looked down at the paper. Meg watched carefully at the expressions on his face as he read – he went from bored, to a bit confused, bored again, and then more confused. He lifted the paper up and turned to her.

“I don't get it,” he finally said.

Meg smiled, because she expected him to say something like that. She sat up a bit more and gestured towards the paper. “Okay, then. Still, tell me, what's your interpretation of it? You don't get it, but if you had to guess...”

“Well, I think this couple is about to shag and she's nervous about it.”

Meg's smile was immediately wiped off her face with that response that Gavin couldn't help but laugh a little before asking, “What?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Meg asked him, practically gaping at Gavin.

“You asked me for my interpretation of it and that's what it is. I did tell you I didn't get it.”

Meg groaned and took the paper back from him. “Here, maybe if I read it out loud to you, you'll understand it better.”

“Okay!”

So, Meg cleared her throat and looked down as she began to read, “I don't know how to say stop before you do-”

“See?” Gavin interjected, but Meg completely ignored him as she went on, skipping down a few lines to get to the part she really wanted Gavin to understand.

“-Whatever is happening is happening here, and I'm a fool for thinking otherwise. Whatever is happening is happening here, and I'm _fool_ for _thinking_ otherwise,” she paused to look at Gavin and was pleased to see him genuinely concentrating, “I was just thinking the same as you were and I was just taking my time. And I was just looking for _outs_ , like _you_ _were_ , and I was just falling in line...” Noticing that Gavin was getting that same muddled look again, Meg skipped a few lines again.

“Soon it will be love, and soon, it will be love _again._ ”

Gavin licked his lips and averted his eyes as if truly trying to comprehend this song.

“Look,” Meg was talking again, getting Gavin's attention back on her, “my interpretation is that it's about someone slowly realizing that they're falling in love with someone who is just as afraid of the thought, but since they can't deny what's right in front of them, they try to learn to accept it.”

Gavin's eyebrows slowly started to rise that it made Meg's smile return, because he was getting it... he was finally getting it.

“You've been talking to Lindsay, haven't you?” He then asked.

Meg scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, she _is_ my friend, so yeah I've been talking to her, but she didn't have to tell me about your feelings for Michael for me to know.”

Gavin shook his head. “There _were_ feelings, but they weren't really reciprocated in the same way I wanted them to be, so they ended.”

“And how are you so sure about that? I see the way you guys look at each other and if he tried saying he doesn't care about you, he's lying.”

“No, Meg, he's not-”

“Yes, he is-”

“You don't know him like I do!” It was the sudden sharp tone in his voice that made Meg not even try to interrupt him anymore, and Gavin kept going, “You don't know him a-and you don't know what happened, so stop acting like you know more than I do!”

Meg frowned as she looked away from him and he silently cursed himself for acting out like that.

“Meg, I'm sorry-”

“No, I'm sorry,” she spoke softly, “I just... I saw the way you looked at him, then I noticed that he looked at you the same way, and Lindsay told me these things about you two, so I just... I wanted to help. Call me pathetic or a romantic, I prefer the latter, but you know, I wanted you guys to come to your senses and _do_ something about it! I realized he wouldn't, so I decided giving you a push would be a start.”

“You're absolutely something, Meg Turney,” Gavin sarcastically said and Meg just sighed. “I cannot believe you really went out of your way to do this.”

“This isn't even something I would normally do! But seeing the opportunity, I took it,” Meg defended herself. “Like the good friend I hope I am, I wanted to help my friend get with his crush. I could have just talked to you about it, but hey, this was fun,” though she didn't sound serious or cheery.

Gavin rubbed his temples and huffed. “You are a good friend,” he assured her, “but this was useless, because he doesn't care.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because when I stopped talking to him, you know what he did?” Meg didn't answer, but she gave Gavin a look that told to go on, so he did. “Nothing. He did nothing. He just let it happen. He let us drift apart.”

“But you _also_ let it happen,” Meg told him, “the blame here goes two ways.” Gavin scoffed and Meg smiled at him. “I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's true.”

“Oh, sod off,” Gavin said as he jumped up from her bed and started heading for the door, but she managed to stop him.

“Where are you going? Are you forgetting why you came here in the first place? Gavin, our project!”

Gavin halted in his tracks and looked back at her. “Oh, right,” he mumbled before returning to where he was sitting next to her.

“I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you.”

“Nah, it's fine. I just don't think it matters what I say to him, because I really don't think he gives a crap anymore.”

Meg frowned and placed a hand on top of Gavin's, making him look her in the eyes. “It never hurts to try,” she whispered.

Instead of arguing about it further, Gavin simply nodded and suggested they got started on the analyzing part of the project.

 

* * *

 

Walking up to Kerry's house felt a bit strange and just stepping onto the property made Michael feel like he wasn't even welcomed there, because he probably wasn't. If it weren't for the project, he wouldn't be invited to this house, that much Michael knew for sure. But with a deep breath, he finished taking those steps up to the front door and rang the doorbell. A few minutes later, the door was opening to reveal Kerry standing on the other side. He looked slightly surprised at first until realization seemed to dawn on him.

“Oh, right... uh, come in,” he said as he nodded towards the hallway and moved aside.

Michael licked his lips and slowly made his way inside, listening to the door close behind him. He turned around and waited for Kerry to lead the way, because even just standing there made him feel more awkward than he's ever felt.

“Mom! Michael's here, so we'll be in my room,” Kerry called out.

“Okay!” Mrs. Shawcross answered back. Kerry took that as cue to head down the hallway and Michael followed behind, keeping a decent distance between them. Kerry opened a door to his right, stepping in without glancing at Michael, but Michael assumed it was okay to go in after him.

“I was looking over our options,” Kerry began, picking up a piece of paper.

“Oh, yeah, so was I...” Michael muttered.

Kerry looked at him at that and raised his eyebrows. “Anything you had in mind?” Michael shook his head. “Hmm, well, I was thinking we could do, like a sort of advice thing where we give steps on how to write and complete an essay without so much of the stress they can sometimes put on people.”

_Sounds fun..._ Michael thought to himself, though he shrugged and said, “Yeah, that could work, but I feel like you'd be doing most of the work there since I fucking hate essays and always do my worst on them.”

“Just think of the usual kind of advice you'd expect to hear.”

“You mean 'lie'?” 

“Whatever gets this done faster.”

Michael was going to roll his eyes, but it appeared Kerry almost didn't care about this project as much as he did. They both wanted it to be done and over with already, so he nodded and they both took a seat on Kerry's bed to get started on the “advice”. Kerry ended up grabbing his laptop and placing it in front of them so they could look up some tips of writing essays. They would take turns searching for things and then writing them down on was looking to be their rough draft. 

This went on for about an hour with them only occasionally asking each other “Does that sound good?”, but other than that, they worked in utter silence. It was the sort of the silence that really felt like it was endless and thick, and after too much of it, Michael couldn't take it. He put his paper and pencil aside and rubbed his face. 

Kerry turned his head to look at him and asked, “What?”

“Kerry, I can't do this,” Michael mumbled his reply, “I'm just... I'm so fucking sorry-”

“Michael,” Kerry hurriedly cut him off, also putting his hand up for added emphasis that he didn't want Michael to continue with that apology, “you're not here to talk about the past. You're here so we can do what we have to do and _never_ talk to each other again.”

Michael wasn't sure whether to groan or whine, but like he told Chris, he _needed_ Kerry to know this. “Kerry, man, listen for a second-”

“But I don't care, Michael!” Kerry shouted as he got up from his bed, “So what if you decided a group of idiots were more fun to hang around than me? I mean, I can't blame you! I wouldn't want to hang out with me either.”

Michael's expression softened as he stood up as well, quickly walking over to be face-to-face with him.

“I regret letting you walk away more than anything, Kerry. It was a mistake! And you were right.”

Kerry's eyebrows knitted together at that. “Right about what?” He asked after a small moment of pondering over it.

Michael took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. “About how drinking wasn't going keep my problems away. I should have listened to you, and I should have left. I was a stupid thirteen year old who just wanted to be a dumbass rebel because it made me feel something other than pain. It made me feel like I was stronger, like I wasn't the weak kid my parents would kick around.” He felt his lower lip start to tremble, but he didn't want to stop talking yet.

“It didn't help, though. No matter how hard I tried pretending that I was fine, I wasn't. I'm _still_ not fine, because even after all these years of being away from them, I can _still_ hear my dad's screams in my ears,” Michael paused to look down at his hands, not wanting to make eye contact with Kerry anymore, “I can still hear my mom telling me how much I... how much...” He shut his eyes tight and inhaled sharply, “How much I fucked up their lives,” he almost choked.

Kerry had the urge to wrap an arm around Michael, but he held back and simply continued to listen, because that's what Michael wanted right now – someone to listen.

Michael sniffled and went on, “You know, the last time I saw them, I thought I was going to pass out from how scared I was. My dad, he... he kept telling me how much he... hated me,” there was another pause as Michael opened his eyes and stared off into nothing, but Kerry watched the way a few tears made their way down his face.

“He grabbed me by my hair and tossed me out of his way as best as he could, because I was _always_ in his way,” Michael said as he laughed weakly, “ _Always._ ” He swallowed roughly and wiped some of his tears. “But I was tired of being thrown around like I wasn't a fucking person, and that's _exactly_ what I told that asshole; I told him he couldn't do that to me, that I wasn't going to _take_ it anymore.”

“He was surprised, so fucking surprised, and I thought maybe he would listen, but I was wrong. At first I didn't know what happened; I just knew that everything went black for a moment, and then I realized that fucker had actually _punched_ me in the face. He _punched_ his thirteen year old _only_ son in the face, but you know, it wasn't like he hadn't done worse to me before – him and my mom, but I froze.”

“I lied there on the floor, feeling like I couldn't move and _trying_ not think about how much my cheek was throbbing, but it really fucking hurt,” another tear ran down Michael's face as his lower lip quivered more, yet he managed to keep talking, “A-and then... and then, my mom walked in. She was asking what I did now. 'Oh, he talked back', my dad told her, and she laughed. I-I started to cry and apologize, but my dad told me to shut up, and since I was still on the floor, it was easy for him to just _kick_ me in the side, and since it was the same spot he had abused a few days earlier, I couldn't hold back the screams.”

“Of course that pissed him off more, and my mom, because they hated when I was... too loud. The next thing I remember was a kick going to my face, right where he punched me... t-that's how, I think, I-I ended up getting that swollen eye,” Michael's hand involuntarily reached up to touch that eye, cringing because it was like the pain on it was back. “I swear, if those hits didn't make me pass out, my fear would have.” He didn't bother to look at Kerry, but he could tell Kerry was staring at him with the biggest sympathetic expression. “And then the next morning, they saw how bad I looked and _demanded_ I stay home from school, but I found a way out and went to school anyway; I just didn't want to be there with them. So, that's how my teacher saw me, and I was _so_ _fucking_ _scared._ I-I _begged_ her not to tell anyone, and she promised she wouldn't, but then, when I went home that day, we had guests. I was taken away, I-I was...” Michael licked his lips and sniffled, putting his now trembling hand down.

“I was finally free,” he said under his breath. “And the last words my mom said to me was, 'I hate you, you ungrateful little shit.'” Michael brought his hands up to cover his face and all Kerry could hear was quiet whimpering.

“Michael,” Kerry said softly as he started to gently rub Michael's back, “You're okay now-”

“No, Kerry,” Michael cried out as he put his hands down and looked at him, “I'm not. I'll always be haunted by those memories. They _hated_ me, but you know what? I hate them, too.”

“But you'll never have to be with them again, Michael,” Kerry reminded him, “Those memories haunt you, but at least you know you'll never have to relive them. _Ever_. Because Geoff and Griffon, they care so much about you, and they would never hurt you.”

Michael wiped his face with the backs of his hands, then he let out another weak laugh.

“God damnit, this wasn't supposed to go like this; we were supposed to work on our project...”

“And we did,” Kerry told him as he gestured towards the papers filled with their ideas. Michael looked over at them and sighed.

“I just wanted you to know why I am the way I am, and why I let our friendship get ruined,” he told him, “I'm _so_ sorry, Kerry. I wanted to make myself feel, well, _better_ , I guess, but I chose the wrong route. Happiness and me don't go well. I'm just... I'm fucked.” And that was enough for Kerry to urge forwards and envelop Michael into a tight embrace. Michael let out a pained noise and Kerry quietly hushed him by rubbing his back gently.

Michael brought his hands up to wipe his face again before any of his tears could fall onto Kerry's shirt, and then the words he'd been longing to hear were finally told.

“I forgive you,” Kerry whispered.

The corners of Michael's lips twitched up a bit. “Thank you,” he whispered back as he returned the hug.

Afterwards, Michael was calmed down enough to leave. He and Kerry scheduled another time they would meet up to further work on the project. He grabbed his things and made his way out of there, feeling both foolish and relieved about what happened in there. At least it seemed like he and Kerry would be on better terms now, but he really wished he wouldn't have broken down like that in front of him. He hadn't meant to make Kerry feel as though he had to do or say something to comfort him, but it happened and there wasn't really much he could do about it now.

The walk back to the house gave him time to think everything over and he kept going back to what Kerry had said about Geoff and Griffon. They did care, and Michael always knew they did, but back then, he didn't want to dwell on it.

When Michael reached the house and walked inside, he was met with Geoff making his way down the stairs.

“Oh, hey Michael,” Geoff greeted him, sounding like he was in a really good mood. “I didn't expect you home until later.” He stopped walking once he made it to the bottom and raised an eyebrow questioningly at Michael.

“You didn't come back early because you knew I would alone, did you?” He didn't wait for an answer though. “Michael, you don't have to do that. I'm an adult and I can perfectly handle being alone,” and he laughed at his own silly assumption until he was caught off guard by Michael's arms wrapping around him, practically clinging to him.

At first, Geoff wasn't sure what to think of this, but a hug from Michael, well, he just wasn't going to complain about such a rare occurrence. Once Michael felt Geoff hugging him back, he sighed in relief.

“Geoff, thank you so much for everything you've done for me,” he told him, trying his best to hold back the tears that were still threatening to come out.

Geoff smiled as he rested his head on top of Michael's. “You're welcome, buddy. I'm _always_ here for you.”

Michael nodded, squeezing Geoff a little more as he closed his eyes. “I know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Meg and Gavin were discussing is actually a song that's already on the playlist, in case you were wondering. Yeah, it was for chapter 17 when Gavin realized he really does have feelings for Michael :))) and the song is called "Happening" by Olivia Boardfield.


	30. Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was pretty vague in my outline for this chapter, but it’s mainly a filler anyway. And seriously, this fic is getting really close to the end. Any guesses on what might happen?? :DD

The project wasn't due until a few weeks, so when Michael and Kerry actually found that they had most of it done before the end of the next week, they decided to take a break and come back to the rest of it later. The break from the project wasn't a break from them talking, though. They weren't exactly the best of friends or anything, but they would greet each other in the hallway and talk before English class a bit. It was nice and simple, and Michael was so relieved about the awkwardness being gone.

Although Meg didn't bring up the whole Michael situation to Gavin again, Gavin could not stop thinking about it and everything she said. She was right and he hated that she was. He also did not want to admit it to her or to himself.

And therefore, instead of just letting it be out in the open, he kept it hidden and that was why he could hardly concentrate on anything when he was alone. It was okay, because at least when he was with Kdin or Meg, he was fine.

Lindsay was becoming far too indulged with the drama club, because the club was starting up small production for a short play – the first of the school year. She was in charge of getting together the costumes and wigs while Arryn worked with the senior tech producer to learn the ropes. Barbara and Kara actually had minor roles in the play, but since they seriously only had five lines each, they mainly spent their time helping around with whatever needed to be done. It was always during lunch or after school, and they were lucky that Mrs. Spencer didn't mind the idea of food being brought into the theater (as long as they cleaned up their messes), because something about theater made the girls hungry.

Meg stepped in a few days to offer her assistance, but other than that, she didn't really feel appealed to the idea of being apart of the club. Mrs. Spencer let her know that there was room for her in the club if she ever changed her mind, though.

There was small talk of what was going to be _big_ play, though. Everyone was throwing in their guesses, saying why it would complete sense. Others were going with things based off the little hints Mrs. Spencer had been teasing them with since the beginning of the play. Lindsay and her friends didn't usually partake in these conversations unless it was just with each other when they were somewhere else.

Barbara was determined to believe that the big play was going to be Peter Pan. Arryn kind of agreed with her, but she was more set on it being Alice in Wonderland, because of the mention of one young girl having to do with the play, although Barbara argued that by reminding her about Wendy Darling. Lindsay and Kara mainly talked about the pros and cons of both, and then about who they would actually want to be if either of those ended up being true.

And while they were all busy with that, Ray kept himself entertained with more of Miles' company, since that was really his only friend. He still considered Lindsay a friend, but he kind of felt like that was only possible because they lived together. Arryn was technically his friend as well, but it also didn't feel too real since he knew she wouldn't exactly talk to him as much if she wasn't dating his best friend. So he continued to spend as much time as he could with Miles, especially since homework with Miles was much less terrible than doing homework on his own with Michael who was either way too quiet or just restless; there was no in between there with him. On certain days, Miles would come over, and other days, Ray would go to his and be home on time for dinner, unless Mrs. Luna _insisted_ that Ray stayed for dinner there, and then she would merely give a ride him afterward.

All in all, though, they had their own things going on to occupy themselves from each other, and secretly, they hated it, but none of them would mention it. None of them would bother trying to _do_ something about it, despite how badly they longed to just hang out again, all four of them. Together.

So they kept themselves busy, but none of them could pretend like they didn't feel empty inside when they went to bed each night.

* * *

 

Blaine stuck out his tongue in concentration as he finished pouring the chocolate milk on top of the remaining bits of Chris' macaroni salad. He set the now empty carton aside and grinned as he looked to see the horrified faces staring at him.

“I'll give someone ten dollars to eat this,” he said, pointing down at his disgusting combination.

“Did you get pulled back into middle school?” Kyle asked, throwing his hands up in confusion. “What is this? Why would you do that?”

“Because it's nasty, but hilarious.”

“What the fuck is funny about this?” Michael questioned him sternly.

Blaine sighed and scooted the tray away from them. “I don't know! I got bored. You guys were so quiet. Did something happen?”

“I was just daydreaming,” Chris answered.

“So was I,” Kyle said with a nod.

“I'm just tired,” Michael mumbled.

“So am I,” Kyle nodded again and Michael rolled his eyes.

“Well, stop thinking about Barbara,” Blaine said as he pointed at Chris, then he looked at Kyle and Michael, “And you two, wake the hell up.”

“I-I wasn't thinking about Barbara,” Chris told him, trying, what appeared to sound like, casual, but a very terrible attempt at it. “I've been over her for like... pfft, a while.”

Blaine blinked at him, but otherwise he said nothing about it.

“Hey, sometimes it's nice to at least be friends with your crush,” Kyle reminded Chris, “And you did get to go to that dance with her last year, so you know, I'd call that an accomplishment.” Chris nodded, agreeing silently.

Blaine sighed and turned his attention to Michael. “Uh, so, anything new with you?”

Michael uncapped his water bottle and raised an eyebrow at Blaine. “I'm with you like every fucking day. What the hell could be new that I haven't told you yet?”

“I bet there are some things you haven't told us. For example, did I ever tell you guys the story of how my parents met? Hmm?” Blaine waggled his eyebrows, but his friends merely stared at him with dull expressions.

“That has _nothing_ to do with you,” Kyle told him.

“Yes, it does! If they never met, I wouldn't be here.”

“And boy, does that sound right now,” Michael muttered under his breath, receiving a glare from Blaine, but then Blaine shook his head and spoke again.

“Alright, I'll be serious next time, but I do think this exchanging secrets idea is fun. Don't you think?”

“Does it matter how deep of a secret it is, or can it be just like a little simple secret?” Chris asked.

“It can't be too simple, like 'oh, I sleep naked', but a little bigger than that, like 'oh, I sleep naked with the curtains and windows open.'”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. “God damn, I hope none of you do that,” he said.

“Okay, I'll start since it's my idea,” Blaine told them, rubbing his hands together as he started thinking of the possible things he could say.

“This is so stupid.”

“Michael, shut up. We have ten minutes left of lunch, so get through it.” Michael groaned, but he did nod and waited for Blaine to come up with something.

“Oh, got it! Okay, so, when I was younger, my dad had these _videos-_ ”

“Uh huh, porn?” Kyle suggested, grinning lopsidedly as Michael and Chris laughed.

There was actually a shade of red that slowly started to appear on Blaine's face, but he raised his finger and shook his head. “ _I'm_ telling the story, shh!” Kyle sighed and apologized, so Blaine continued.

“Anyway, he had the videos and I was curious about what they were about. I mean, my dad and I used to watch all movies together, so I didn't get why he hadn't showed me these particular ones yet-”

“Oh, god,” Chris interjected, his eyes widening.

“-so, being the stupid kid I am, I took them and brought them back to my room to watch by myself. And wow, I have never been a mixture of terrified and happy before. The terrified feeling came from the fact that I had _no idea_ why they were naked, why they were naked _together,_ and _why_ they were screaming so much.” His friends pursed their lips to avoid laughing and although Blaine noticed it, he didn't let it distract him from finishing.

“And then, all of sudden, I feel... _different,_ happy, in a way, and then I looked down, and... that had _never_ happened to me before! I didn't know that could happen!” Kyle snorted and could no longer hold in his laughter, followed by Michael and Chris.

Blaine sighed sadly. “It just wouldn't go away, either! I was worried.”

“I can't believe you just told us that,” Chris said through his laughter.

“Well, believe it! Now, it's _your_ turn. Go.”

Chris took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, but he wiped his eyes and said, “But I don't know. I mean, how could I _possibly_ top 'my first boner' story?” Michael and Kyle began laughing even harder, to the point where they were hardly making any noise anymore.

“I hate you guys,” Blaine grumbled, crossing his arms.

It took a while, much longer than Blaine liked, but Michael, Chris, and Kyle managed to regain themselves long enough to talk.

“Wow,” Kyle breathed out, “You know, I didn't think much of this 'sharing time' idea, but I'm really glad it happened.”

“It's _still_ happening; you guys haven't told your secrets yet!” Blaine reminded them.

Michael's smile slowly faded as a particular secret came to mind, one he'd actually been wanting to tell his friends for a long time now, and this just gave him a good opportunity to tell them now. He sighed and sat up a little.

“Okay, I'll go next,” he spoke, not looking at any of them even though they were all staring at him in awe. He cleared his throat and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, unsure why he was suddenly so damn nervous to admit this to them. “Look, I never gave much thought about this, and I never cared, either, but I guess you guys should know that I, well, I like guys. I think I like girls, too, though, but like I _just_ said, I haven't thought about it completely. I didn't even have to tell you guys, since it's not a big deal, at least to me it really isn't, but since we're _sharing secrets_ , I decided to.”

When he got the courage to look at their faces, he was relieved to not find any disgusted or shocked expressions.

Chris was the first to speak, “Are we the only ones who know?”

“Uh, pretty sure Geoff and Griffon know.”

“Aw, I wanted to be the first,” Kyle mumbled as he crossed his arms and pretended to pout.

Blaine smiled at Kyle, then at Michael. “You're right when you say you didn't have to tell us, so I feel special.”

“Yeah, well, that's my secret, so now it's Kyle or Chris' turn,” Michael announced, pointing at both of them.

“Damnit,” Kyle said under his breath, so Chris clapped his hands together.

“I actually think I got a good secret to tell,” he told them.

“Okay, good, go ahead, because I still need time to think of one.”

Chris grinned and got himself comfortable, since he knew this was going to be a long one to explain thoroughly. While be began to talk, Michael found himself glancing over to where Gavin was sitting with Kdin.

“I just think they should check to make sure the pizza is actually done baking next time,” Kdin said as he picked up his slice to show Gavin the bottom of it.

Gavin made a face, but then he laughed a bit when some of the sauce almost dripped onto Kdin. Kdin tossed the slice back onto his tray and frantically grabbed his napkins. Gavin shook his head, grinning as he watched Kdin wiped his hands, but from the corner of his eye, he could see and _feel_ someone staring at him. He quickly turned his head to see who it was, but no one seemed to be paying him any attention.

“What happened?” Kdin asked, following Gavin's gaze.

Gavin blinked and looked back down at his food. “Nothing,” he answered softly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I feel like Kdin was that character who disappears for a few episodes and then just appears again like nothing happened hahaha.


	31. Thirty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/w: this chapter contains talk of sexual abuse.

He knew this wasn't real. When she turned around, a mischievous sort of smile on her face, he knew there was no way this was true, no way that he was actually looking at her and she was looking back at him. As she started to approach him, he turned away, but somehow, he couldn't really find the way out of wherever the hell he was.

He felt trapped, completely blocked in and destined to suffer with _her_ there. His heart was starting to pound and there was a lump in his throat that he tried swallowing away, but it wouldn't leave, just like she wouldn't. She continued to get closer and closer... and all he wanted to do was disappear.

He made a mistake. He shouldn't have went. He should have stayed home, his _real_ home. This place... this place was never a home. That woman was never nothing to him. She never tried. She _still_ wasn't trying.

How could he have fallen for her tricks? He should have known. She was always one to say things she never meant; making promises that were apparently too difficult not to break. So, he should have seen this coming. After all of these years, why would he think it would get easy now? With her, nothing was easy. Nothing would ever be easy. She had a talent of ruining everything around her and if there was anything she managed to actually succeed in, it was ruining him in the worst possible way, turning him into this broken mess. But no... he was fixed, wasn't he? He had picked up the pieces. He had put them back together. He was okay.

He was okay.

He was okay...

“I'm glad you came,” she spoke, “You've grown up so much.” His first instinct was to get down on the floor, curl up, and shield himself. Maybe she would go away. Maybe she wouldn't touch him. Maybe she would just...

“Leave me the hell alone!” He found himself shouting the second she was _right_ in front of him, but when he felt her grabbing hold of his wrists, he gasped.

It seemed that he had missed some important fragments of himself, and now, just like that, he was falling to pieces all over again.

So he screamed with everything in him; _screamed_ because he _wanted_ to be heard, he wanted to be saved. He didn't want to shatter. He couldn't shatter, not when he had gotten this far. The grip she had on his wrists loosened the more he screamed, so he continued to do so, no matter how much his throat was _begging_ him to stop. He needed to be heard.

And then she let go and he fell to the ground.

“ _Ray_!” The familiar voice cried out, and it sounded right in front of him too, but he didn't see anyone when he looked up. He screamed again when he felt hands on his shoulders and just as he looked over to see who it was, he felt blinded.

“God damnit, Ray, _wake_ up!” Michael tried again as he shook the younger lad by the shoulders. Ray did as he was told, his eyes shooting wide open and gasped loudly, his hands immediately going up to push Michael away.

“Get the fuck away from me!” He cried, not able to see through the darkness of his bedroom, so he frantically started waving his hands everywhere around, trying to free himself.

Michael dodged every attempted hit as he let go of Ray's shoulders and grabbed his hands instead. “Ray, it's me, it's Michael!” He squeezed Ray's hands and watched as Ray stopped squirming to stare at him.

Ray waited a moment for his eyes adjust to the darkness and as soon as they did, he was able to make up Michael's face with the little light coming from outside. He could _never_ explain the relief that washed over him, because it was _Michael._ Just Michael. It wasn't anyone else, no one he didn't want to see.

Michael.

Seeing that Ray had calmed down enough, Michael let go of his hands. Ray let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and launched himself forward into Michael, his arms wrapping around Michael like his life depended on it. He felt the burning form in his eyes as Michael held him back with the same amount of strength.

“Michael, help me,” He said, the shake in his voice making Michael feel sick to his stomach.

The door to their bedroom opened and Michael turned his head to find Geoff and Griffon running in. They came to a halt by the end of Ray's bed, both appearing as worried as Michael felt.

“Oh, Ray,” Griffon said softly.

“Please go away,” Ray mumbled, continuing to cling to Michael.

“Tell us what happened,” Geoff urged as he started walking towards the side of the bed, but Ray shook his head.

“I just want to talk to Michael. _Please_. I don't want to talk to anyone else.”

“Ray-”

“Geoff, _seriously_ ,” despite how much Ray was trying to sound stern, the shakiness in his voice was too evident.

“Ray, let Michael get some sleep and you and I can talk, _all_ night if we have to.”

“No.”

Geoff sighed softly, the brave face he was trying to put on now faltering. “Why not?” He then asked.

“Because Michael understands and you don't,” Ray responded. He hadn't meant that to sound as cruel as it came out, but it's just the way it sounded, and he wasn't lying either.

Geoff blinked, his attention turning towards Michael who was staring up at him.

“Nightmares,” Michael said with a nod, “I kind of have a history of them.” Geoff opened to his mouth to say something, but Michael cut him off, “I got this, Geoff.” He looked at Griffon next and saw her eyes watering slightly, so he added on, “It'll be okay. Don't worry.”

Geoff wanted nothing more but to stay until Ray was felt better, but it was clear him being there wasn't going to help.

“It's what he wants, so we'll go,” he said as he walked back towards the door, although Griffon gave him a look of protest. Geoff smiled apologetically at her and she sighed, looking back at Michael and Ray.

“Please come to us if you need us,” she told them, Michael specifically. Michael nodded. He waited until they both stepped out and closed the door before asking Ray what was wrong.

Ray licked his lips, pulling back the embrace and sniffling. “I should have just told you when it happened,” he began, averting his eyes, “Maybe... Maybe things would be better. I'm so sorry, Michael. You told me you were there for me, and I didn't listen. I didn't want to listen. I wanted to be left alone, but I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of keeping this a secret, too,” he paused to swallow roughly and Michael stayed silent as he waited for him to go on.

“My mom... she... she came back and I let her in, I let her back into my life,” Michael furrowed his eyebrows, because he already knew, and feared, where this was going, “and she... she tried, oh man, she tried... _doing_ things to me, but I left before it got worse,” Ray finished quietly.

“You've got to be fucking kidding me,” Michael growled as he abruptly got up. Ray watched as he paced back and forth, his fingers curling into fists, but then he stopped and faced Ray with a glare Ray hoped he wouldn't have to see a second time. “ _Please_ tell me you're kidding.”

“I'm...” but Ray couldn't even finish his sentence, so he shook his head instead.

Michael gaped at him for a moment and then ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. That sight was enough to help Ray find it within him to talk.

“You can't say anything,” he begged, “Y-you can't! You can't tell Geoff or Griffon, Sarah... _no_ one! You-”

“You expect me to keep this a _secret_?” Michael asked through his clenched teeth, obviously doing his best to keep his voice down.

Ray's eyes widened, but he nodded. “You _have_ to, Michael. I trusted you with telling you this, because I know I can do that. I know I can trust you, so please, _please_ don't make me regret another thing.” Michael didn't say anything as he slowly sat back down on Ray's bed, but the fact that he was avoiding eye contact wasn't settling right with Ray. That couldn't be a good sign.

“Michael...”

“You know,” Michael finally broke his silence, “I want to fucking say that I can't believe a mother would try doing that to her _own_ son, but...” He breathed out a laugh and shook his head. “I can't even say that, knowing what we've all been through.”

“Please don't tell anyone,” Ray begged again, his voice barely a whisper, “I just needed to tell you, but I can't have everyone else knowing. I made a mistake and faced my consequence, but I promise I have not talked to her since, and I will _not_ talk to her again. So, can you promise me you'll keep this between us? Miles knows, too, you know, so you don't have to feel the burden of being the only one.”

Michael was still not looking at him.

“Just please, _please_ , Michael, please,” Ray went on, clasping his hands together. “I get why you want to tell Geoff and Griffon, and maybe one day I will tell them, but that's up to me, not you. I mean, just telling you now has made me feel better. I-I feel like I've been...” his expression softened as he paused, causing Michael to face him curiously. Ray met his eyes and smiled slightly, “I just feel better, because I know I have you.”

Michael raised his eyebrows at that and started scooting closer to Ray again. Ray rested his head on his pillow and listened to the noises of Michael lying down next to him. He exhaled slowly, noticing the shakiness was hardly there now.

“I won't tell,” Michael then whispered, “But I swear, the second she shows up again, I won't hesitate.”

Ray nodded and closed his eyes tightly, but he wasn't sure if he could really get back to sleep. Neither was Michael.

* * *

 

The next morning, Geoff pulled Michael and Ray aside as Gavin and Lindsay walked out to head to the car. He asked Ray if he was alright and for the first time in what felt like too long, Ray nodded and sincerely said that he was, followed by a smile. Michael couldn't resist smiling as well as he threw an arm around Ray's neck and they walked out of the house together.

“I want to feel bad that we're out of the loop,” Griffon started as she walked up and stood next to Geoff, “but I have to admit, Ray looks happy.” And the corners of her lips rose as she watched the way Ray and Michael laughed at something.

Geoff gently wrapped an arm around Griffon and sighed. “Sometimes we can't always fix what's wrong, but they have each other to help with that, and sometimes it does work better that way.”

“Yeah, well, get going before you're all out,” Griffon said as she stepped out his hold and kissed his cheek before heading back into the living room.

Since it had been a week and everyone was officially done with their projects, it was now the day those projects needed to be presented. Michael and Kerry felt pretty confident in theirs, considering they went over it plenty of times a few days before, and even adding some _honest_ advice.

Ms. Davis gave the classroom the option of volunteering to go up and present, but if partners stopped volunteering, then she would eventually step in and call a pair up. Luckily, a pair immediately jumped up and headed to the front. Michael sat back in his seat, because he knew Kerry would give him a signal for whenever he wanted to go up, and it didn't seem like that was going to be anytime soon. Many partners kept happily going up there, mostly so they could get it over with and be done. Michael was basically falling asleep through all of their presentations. The most sleep he had gotten was probably four in total, because he woke up every hour to check up on Ray, but he was relieved to find one hour that Ray was finally and completely asleep.

Even then, he still couldn't get himself to just sleep.

And now his desk was beginning to look like the perfect kind of pillow. But then he heard a familiar voice that caused him to look up. Gavin and Meg were standing in front of the classroom with a poster board filled with various words and pictures between them.

“So we analyzed a song,” Meg started, “It's called 'Happening' by Olivia Broadfield, and uh, Gavin, why don't you explain exactly what we figured it was about?” She turned to face Gavin at this point and Gavin was smiling proudly before he spoke up.

“I'd love to, Meg. Well, after going over it a few times, we decided it had to be about someone who's slowly realizing that they're falling in love who is just as afraid of the thought. See, an example of that is here,” he paused to look at the poster and find the exact lyric, and then he pointed at it as he faced the class again, “Whatever is happening is happening here, and...” his expression seemed to drastically change into a grim one when he found himself locking eyes with Michael.

Michael shifted a little uncomfortably in his seat, but no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't break the eye contact. Other students began to turn their heads to look at Michael, including Chris, but Michael ignored all of them as he continued to stare at Gavin.

Gavin blinked hard and swallowed the lump in his throat, but he didn't look away from Michael as he finished what he was saying, “And I'm a _fool_ for thinking otherwise.” Michael frowned and finally averted his eyes.

Seeing Gavin was done speaking, Meg nodded and added in, “Yes, exactly! It's just so evident how much these two care for each other and since they can't _deny_ what's in front of them, they decide to go for it.” She kept going with her explanation, and then telling the class why they liked the song so much, and Gavin felt bad for letting her do all the talking, but she didn't seem to mind.

When Michael glanced over at Chris, Chris offered him a small smile, but Michael merely sighed before standing up. Gavin and Meg were making their way back to their desk and Michael headed to the front. Kerry quickly jumped up to join him, bringing along their poster with him.

Michael suddenly wished he and Kerry would have been one of the first groups up, because he was feeling as though it was now or never. He preferred “never”, but his stupid grade kind of depended on this presentation. He took a deep breath before turning around and facing the class with Kerry, but he crossed his arms and avoided looking in Gavin's direction.

“Okay, so Michael and I did our project on advice for students who want to be able to write and complete an essay without so much of the stress that can sometimes come with it,” Kerry explained, but then he looked to Michael, indicating it was his turn to say something.

Michael sighed and nodded. “Yes, and... uh, we, uh... we... I mean, our first piece of advice, uh, says,” he turned to face the poster and simply read off from there, not bothering to look at the class anymore. He knew he was practically mumbling and his face was getting warmer the more he heard his classmates giggle, but he continued on like it wasn't distracting him, like he didn't hear them.

Gavin was watching and listening intently, smiling every now and so when Michael laughed nervously after making a mistake. Kerry took over again, saying whatever advice Michael hadn't mentioned yet, and Michael mentally thanked him for that. Speaking in front of a class had always been Michael's least favorite thing to do at school. Just _knowing_ he had everyone's attention was too much and he felt like that only made it easier for him to mess up, which was what he did, many times. It didn't help that he had Gavin on his mind during the whole thing.

Ms. Davis clapped when she saw they were done. “Good job, boys,” she said as she stood up from her desk as Michael and Kerry headed back to their seats. “Well, I think that was the last pair to go today since we seem to have run out of time. Whoever didn't go today _will_ go tomorrow, so don't think you got away with this.”

Michael patted Chris' shoulder when he heard the quiet groan Chris let out. He only sat down for a minute before the bell rang. He waited a bit for Chris to gather his things and they started walking out together. Since Chris was on his right, Michael flinched a bit when he felt something brush against his left hand. He immediately looked down to see who or what it was.

“You did good in there,” Gavin's voice appeared, and Michael had to hold his breath when he looked up when he find how close their faces were.

“T-thanks,” Michael responded.

The corners of Gavin's lips rose as well as Michael's, but their exchange of smiles didn't last too long, because Michael was quickly heading out of the classroom with Chris.

* * *

 

Ray sighed and looked away as Miles gave Arryn a quick kiss on the lips, and then he pretended to gag when she walked off. Miles rolled his eyes and shoved Ray playfully as they made their way to their table in the cafeteria.

“I was only teasing,” Ray told him as he set his tray down, “because you know I like Arryn and even though I don't know why she's with you, I think you two are cute.” He shrugged, grinning at Miles.

Miles raised an eyebrow questioningly as he sat down across from Ray. “You seem extra happy today,” then he gasped, “Did Geoff make those yummy pancakes again? _Man_! I told you to bring me some anytime he makes those!” He shook his head, huffing loudly and clearly irritated (although it sounded obviously forced).

“He didn't! But if he did, then yeah, you would be munching on those right now.”

“Oh,” Miles mouthed.

Ray snickered. “Yeah, _oh,_ but there is a reason I feel better than I have in a while.” Miles perked up at that and his raised eyebrows were enough of an indication that he was waiting for Ray to go on. “You know how you were the only one who knew about, well, you know...” Ray trailed off and Miles nodded.

“Well, not anymore,” Ray told him. 

Miles blinked. “Geoff and Griffon know?” He asked in a rather hushed tone. 

“Oh, god no,” Ray shook his head. “Michael does.” And the way Miles' eyes widened was pretty comical that Ray was close to laughing; he managed to resist.

“I didn't even know you guys started talking again,” Miles finally spoke after a moment. 

“We didn't, but I... I couldn't...” Ray bit down on his lower lip as he quickly thought up an excuse, “Uh, I couldn't sleep last night and I just _had_ to talk to someone, specifically him. It's funny, because I didn't really like Michael when he first moved in, but I really like, besides you, I can trust and talk to him. I _hated_ how we stopped talking, I don't even know why I let it happen, but I'm just fucking happy it's all better between us.”

Miles' lips twitched up into a small smile. “So, did talking about it again help you move past it even more?” 

“Yeah, man. I mean, it sucked having to remember that it actually happened, but yeah, I do feel like I'll be...” Ray sighed and shrugged, “okay.” 

Not even to Ray's surprise, Miles raised his hand up in front of his face and Ray merely beamed at him as he gave him the high five he was asking for.

“I'm proud of you,” Miles practically whispered, his other hand resting on his chest.

Ray looked down at Miles' tray and started reaching over to steal some of Miles' cookies.

“Hey, no!” Miles shouted, pulling his tray away, some of his food almost falling over in the process. “I said I'm proud of you; I didn't say you could have _my_ cookies. I told you you should have gotten some!”

“What's the fun of having my own when I can take yours?” Ray asked before jumping up from his seat an hurrying over to Miles' side. Miles wanted to act fast, but he wasn't even sure what to do, and when he finally figured he could have just got up and ran, Ray was already by his side.

“No, _my cookies_!” Miles cried, doing his best to shield his tray in his lap. Ray just kept laughing as he tried grabbing one of those cookies from behind and over Miles' shoulder.

* * *

 

Meg actually ended up walking with Gavin to lunch while Kdin went off to use the restroom first and Meg had told herself not to bring what had occurred in class during their presentation, she couldn't help it.

“I noticed something, and I think you did it on purpose,” she started, purposely sounding sly about it as she smirked at Gavin. Gavin was quiet as they reached the lunch line, but he looked around and made sure the person who was about to be the topic of their conversation wasn't around, or his friends, and finding that they weren't, he sighed and turned to Meg.

“I hope you aren't talking about Michael...”

“I am! And I feel like I already know, but what was up with you and him in class? Hmm?” The way Meg was smiling at Gavin made him shake his head.

“Nothing,” he lied.

Meg scoffed and crossed her arms. “Okay, fine, I'm not even going to try to drag it out of you, because I know that won't even work.”

“Because there would be nothing to drag out.”

“Yeah, okay, keeping denying it, Free. I actually also caught the way Michael was staring back at you and in my experience, people who don't have feelings for someone do not stare at that someone like he stared at you.”

Gavin swallowed roughly and glanced towards where Michael was sitting. Here was Meg, being right again about that, and Gavin just wished she wasn't for once. He didn't want to tell her how right she was – he couldn't. The second he did, he was sure it would all come back to him; everything he felt about Michael and how every moment he had with him meant much more than he ever thought they could. He had hoped distancing himself from Michael would have made those feelings disappear, that he would find someone else and be able to leave that in the past, just as he had managed to do with quite a few other things, but it didn't work. Those feelings never left at all, and he knew all along that they hadn't, but he still wanted to lie about it.

Because eventually they _had_ to go away, right?

Wrong.

The more Gavin tried pushing those feelings away, the harder they kept coming back, and now they wouldn't let him be, especially with Meg reminding him of them. He wasn't upset with her for that, though, since he understood she meant well, but feelings were terribly complicated and he was sick of them.

There was no use in further lying when it was apparently too obvious to ignore.

Gavin and Meg moved up in the line and Gavin almost chickened out in bringing it back up, seeing that Meg was indulged in picking out what to eat, but it was too late.

“So what if I still like him?” He practically spewed out without his own control that Meg spun around to face him, a bit startled. “So what if I can't and have never been able to get him off my mind? So what if he's everything I didn't even know I liked in a person and _so what_ if I want to be with him? Because I do, Meg. I _really_ do.” Oh, but finally getting it out didn't quite make it any less painful. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted to admit it, because there they were, every little thing he felt for Michael, it was all there, hitting him like a ton of bricks, and yes, definitely much stronger than they were before.

How was it even fair for feelings to increase when you hardly talked to the person anymore? Perhaps because he still had to see Michael everyday, to replay everything in his mind, and continue to adore the way Michael was even though he didn't want to, because Michael was Michael and Gavin needed more than just a stupid and pointless silent treatment to rid of those feelings.

When he saw Meg reaching for him, Gavin stepped back and got out of the line, not caring that she was calling after him. He briefly saw Kdin walking into the cafeteria as he headed out, and he did hear Kdin also calling for him, but he didn't stop.

“Gavin! Where are you going?! The food is _this_ way!” Kdin tried, gesturing towards the line. That didn't work, though. He remained halted in his tracks, unsure of whether to go up to Meg and ask her what happened or run after Gavin. His stomach was growling, but food had to wait. With a sigh, he hurried out of through the doors and down the hall where Gavin had rushed in.

After frantically running through the halls and glancing into any open classroom, Kdin finally found Gavin sitting on the floor by a water fountain.

“You are good at hiding,” Kdin said, pointing at him as he approached him. “I saw you run one way and then you were just _gone._ ”

“Can you go away, Kdin?” Gavin asked.

“Why, what did I do?” 

“You didn't do anything; I'm the one who did something.”

Kdin came to a stop once he was standing right next to Gavin and instead of talking to him from up there, he slid down the wall until he was at eye-level with him again. Gavin didn't bother turning his head to look at him though. 

“What did you do this time?” Kdin asked him in his best teasing voice.

Gavin smiled weakly for a second before answering, “I think I screwed up my chance with a very amazing person.” 

“Me?” 

“God, no.”

Kdin furrowed his eyebrows and Gavin's smile widened a little. 

“With Michael,” he then said, causing Kdin's expression to soften. “Yeah, I never told you, but we kind of-”

“Hooked up?” Kdin asked.

“No, I don't know what you would call it, but the thing was, we weren't _together,_ but we... well, we had _something_ going on.”

“And how did you screw it up?”

“I just stopped talking to him. I don't even know why, but I did, and I want to fix it.”

Kdin sat up a little and sighed. “Then just try  _talking_ to him again. I mean, I know Michael and I haven't really been friends before, but he seems like a nice enough guy who would definitely listen to you if you told him this.”

“What would I say?”

“You can start with apologizing?”

Gavin fell silent and it was evident to Kdin that Gavin wasn't quite into that idea. Of course. 

“Okay, well, how about you just give yourself the rest of this week to think it over?” Now Gavin was looking at him. “If you still don't know what to say to him, then we'll think of something else to do.”

“Like what?” Gavin asked.

“Uh... we can go all elementary school style and _I'll_ go talk to him for you,” Kdin then laughed and nudged Gavin, “I'll ask your crush out for you.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” Gavin mumbled as he shook his head. 

“No, but I'm serious about giving yourself time to think about this. You probably wouldn't want to go up to him right now and just say the first thing that comes to mind.”

“Yeah, you're right.” Gavin started to get up on his feet and at first, Kdin merely stared up at him with a raised eyebrow. Gavin rolled his eyes and said, “Kdin, I knew you were coming before I even saw you,” he pointed downwards, “Your stomach was enough of a signal that you were near.”

Kdin quickly stood up and crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, that just tells you that you should feel special that I chose you over food. That means a lot.”

“I'm sure.”

Kdin laughed and shoved Gavin towards the direction of the cafeteria. “Shut up, asshole. Let's just go eat before they run out of everything.”

 


	32. Thirty-two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gavin just can't seem to get it right.

Gavin did give himself the rest of the week to go over everything he wanted to say to Michael, but part of him just could _not_ believe he was really going to do this. He spent so much time avoiding these feelings and although he never actually succeeded with that, it felt strange.

On Tuesday, he didn't think about it too much from not wanting to make it feel more complicated than it was, so he gave himself a break that day and was merely content with having an upcoming test on the mind. The only time he actually let it take over his thoughts was when Meg walked up to him and asked him all about it, but after explaining the whole thing, he was back to when to study and how much.

Wednesday was when he started talking about the plan a little with Kdin and Meg. Those two threw in their pieces of advice, saying that Gavin should mention this and that to not confuse Michael or give him the wrong idea, and Gavin nodded, taking note of it all, but he wasn't sure if he was going to listen to them. He had a general idea of what he was going to say and he sort of wanted to stick with it, especially after going over it further. He did thank them, though, and felt a little less nervous by the end of the day – which was something else he couldn't believe, that he was seriously really nervous. Had there been another time where he was _this_ nervous? Perhaps that night he realized that he liked Michael, but other than that, no.

In the morning on Thursday at the house, Michael had accidentally bumped shoulders with Gavin as they both attempted to walk out of the kitchen at the same time. This only led to mumbled apologies and small smiles, but Gavin's smile widened once Michael wasn't looking at him anymore. So, he definitely had Michael running through his thoughts that day. He pretty much knew by now everything he was going to say and he was almost tempted to just tell Michael when they were back home, but once they _were_ home, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Therefore, on Friday, he honestly practiced in the mirror when he knew everyone was downstairs and no one could hear him if they walked passed the bathroom. He cleared his throat and then rolled his eyes. This was stupid and he knew that, yet that wasn't enough to make him walk away.

“Hi, Michael,” he started, “I just wanted to tell you that _I_ like you.” He said those last three words with such perkiness that even he had to ask himself “What the hell”. He tried again, and again... and then a few more times until he just ended up groaning and shaking his head.

Feeling too frustrated about this whole thing, Gavin ran his fingers through his hair and walked out of there. No one was in sight, which was good, but he had no desire to go downstairs and watch TV with Geoff, Griffon, and Lindsay, or to go outside where Ray and Michael were hanging out (when did they become friends again anyway?), so Gavin went into his bedroom and stayed in there until dinner.

When Saturday morning came around and Gavin woke up to one of the best sleeps he's had in a while, he sat up slowly and took a deep breath. It was so unfair how many things were easier said than done, and confessing this to Michael was definitely easier in mind, and that was due to the fact that in his mind, Gavin could make _anything_ Michael's response. Really, he had no clue how Michael was going to react and that was what was making all of this more complicated than it needed to be.

Unlike weekdays, though, Gavin had the entire day to see Michael and prepare himself. Well, he had the entire weekend for it, but he wanted to do it and get it over with on Saturday. He got out of bed and headed for a shower to wake himself up a little more. It was only past eight in the morning, but when he went downstairs, he halted in his tracks to find Michael sitting in the kitchen, munching on cereal and reading something on his phone. No one else was in sight. Oh, this was such a good opportunity to talk to him, but Gavin had imagined it would be after dinner or something, not after his morning shower. This was too early and he wasn't prepared.

No... yes, he was. He'd been preparing all week, or at least, he thought he had been, but really, he hadn't. And now it was Saturday and there was Michael sitting all alone, but Gavin couldn't get his feet to move.

Whatever Michael was reading on his phone made him laugh and Gavin felt his heart tingle slightly in his chest at the sound.

Then he was speaking without wanting to, “What are...” and immediately trailed off when he realized it, but Michael had heard him and looked over his shoulder. Gavin swallowed roughly and finally managed to step forward.

“Morning,” Michael mumbled, setting his phone down and sticking another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

Gavin frowned and stopped walking towards him. “Morning,” he said softly back before quickly retreating into the living room instead. Okay, maybe that just wasn't the right moment. He would attempt that again later.

Not too long after, Gavin heard more footsteps coming down the stairs and then Griffon was talking to Michael about what she was going to be working on soon. Gavin allowed himself to sink into the couch as he heard Michael ask her question after question about it and how Griffon happily answered each one, and then there was laughter. Gavin turned up the volume on the TV to drown them out, but he just wanted to walk in there and join them. He would have, but Michael hadn't seen ecstatic about seeing him, so Gavin didn't feel like seeing that look on his face again right now.

He didn't remember it, but he ended up dozing off and being woken by Griffon.

“Hey, Gavin, are you hungry?” She asked, but Gavin, feeling groggy, just nodded. “Alright, there's food in the kitchen. I'm going out now.”

Gavin sighed and turned the TV off before forcing himself up on his feet. It was now almost ten. With a yawn, he made his way into the kitchen. His stomach growled as he inhaled the smell of bacon and scrambled eggs. Lindsay was finishing making herself a plate of breakfast and she smiled at Gavin before walking out and leaving him alone in there. Gavin grabbed a plate from the shelf and was starting to serve himself when Michael came rushing in, heading towards the refrigerator. Gavin stopped what he was doing to stare at him in awe, because here was another damn opportunity and he wasn't sure whether to take it or not. Michael didn't notice him until he pulled a water bottle out and closed the refrigerator door. He stared back at Gavin, but neither of them said a word for a moment.

“Hi,” Michael finally spoke.

“Michael,” Gavin practically whispered and Michael furrowed his eyebrows at him.

“Yeah, what's up?”

 _Oh, nothing,_ Gavin thought, _It's just that I still feel the same about you as I did months ago, possibly a lot more but I'll get to that later, and now I'm trying to work up the nerve to tell you, but I can't with you_ staring _at me like that. Uh, and your hair looks really nice when it's fluffed up like that... Oh, I only now realized that you aren't wearing your glasses. Well, don't you just look lovely today._ But of course he wasn't going to actually say any of that to Michael.

Gavin simply shook his head and went back to serving himself, leaving Michael confused as he walked away.

That was another opportunity that had gone wasted, but his next was not – well, not completely...

After that failed morning, Gavin went up to his room to spend some time on his laptop, but when he got thirsty, he went back downstairs and was again met with Michael alone. Michael was leaning against the couch, doing something on his phone, and Gavin knew this was a sign that he needed to do this _now._ No more chickening out, no more playing around; he was going to tell him. He started making his way towards Michael, but Michael looked up before he was halfway there, and that almost caused Gavin to stop.

“I feel like I've seen you more today than I have all week,” Michael told him and though his expression was serious, Gavin laughed nervously. Michael raised an eyebrow but said nothing else about it and was going to look back down at his phone when Gavin spoke.

“I need to tell you something.”

Michael slowly put his phone into his pocket and folded his arms over his chest. “Alright. What is it?”

Gavin held his breath momentarily, because wow, this was it, wasn't it? He let the breath out slowly and shrugged. “Well, it's that I-”

“Michael, ready to go?” Geoff asked, cutting Gavin off as he walked into the living room and jingled his car keys.

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows and looked back and forth from the two, “Go where?”

“Oh, I asked Geoff the other day if he could start teaching me how to drive,” Michael explained as he walked up to Geoff and stood next to him. “I'm seventeen now, will be eighteen next summer, so I figured I should learn to drive by now.”

Geoff smiled at him and nodded. He then looked at Gavin, “You know I can teach you, too.”

“N-no, I don't think so,” Gavin answered, shaking his head, “Not yet.”

“Okay, then. Come on, Michael. Let's get this started.”

Michael started following Geoff out when he remembered the conversation he had just been having with Gavin. “Oh,” he turned back around, “uh, what you wanted to tell me... can it wait?”

Gavin blinked, actually feeling any little confidence he had disappear within him, but he nodded. “Uh, yeah. It can. Have fun, yeah?” He hoped the lack of enthusiasm on his face and in his tone didn't give himself away.

It probably didn't, because Michael smiled at him before turning away and walking out of the house. Gavin sighed quietly as he started heading outside as well, but he stood by the front door and watched the way Geoff tossed Michael the keys. There was a rather large, child-like grin on Michael's face that made Gavin want to smile as well. He heard someone walking up from behind, but he didn't look to see who it was.

“Oh, goodness,” Griffon said as she stood beside Gavin and placed her hands on her hips. “Look at those two.”

Gavin allowed that smile to appear as Michael got into the driver's seat and Geoff sat down in the passenger's seat.

“I just hope Michael doesn't show up Geoff by doing better than Geoff did his first time,” Griffon joked before turning and heading back inside, but Gavin stayed.

“Alright, start by turning on the car,” he heard Geoff say to Michael since his window was down.

“Yeah, no shit,” Michael giggled as he did so and Geoff laughed as well. The car was now turned on and Geoff was explaining more things to Michael, but Gavin could no longer hear because Geoff closed the window. The second Michael began driving, slowly like Geoff probably told him to, Gavin was practically grinning. He had never seen Michael look so excited before and it was just... nice, to finally see it.

Geoff and Michael didn't return until later that day when the sun was setting and the two were too busy talking about everything and how well Michael did to pay attention to anything or anyone else. Even at dinner they were still discussing and scheduling for other times that Gavin felt it was best that he didn't talk to Michael that day. Perhaps Sunday would be the day.

Although, Sunday was not the day. Michael already had plans for Sunday and they had to do with Ray, so Gavin was once again out of luck. He thought about what Kdin had said about them coming up with something else to do if the talk didn't go as they hoped, but Gavin wasn't sure he wanted to come up with a different idea. Maybe this was just fate telling him to back off and forget about Michael, or rather, try to move on from him.

Maybe it simply wasn't meant to be and he needed to accept that.

Maybe.

* * *

 

On Monday when Gavin saw Meg, he wanted to come out and tell her before she could ask, but to his relief, she didn't even bring it up when she talked to him. She was acting as though she didn't even recall that ever being something that was supposed to happen, but every time she would listen to Gavin talk about anything else, she would have this knowing smile on her face. By the time it was lunch, he was beginning to understand that she was purposely waiting for him to mention it first. He actually didn't have to in the end, because when Kdin met up with them at the table, the first thing he asked was about it.

“Hey, Gavin, so what did he say?”

That smile that had been on Meg's face increased as she turned to Gavin and seemed to silently ask, “Yeah, Gavin, what _did_ he say?”

Gavin frowned and shook his head. “Uh, he didn't say anything, because I didn't tell him,” he said the words so fast that Meg and Kdin had to think it over to make sure they heard him correctly.

But they had.

“Wait, why not? What happened?” Meg asked, but then she closed her mouth and gave Gavin a small smile.

Gavin sighed and answered anyway, “Every time I tried, something got in the way, and then I just decided not to bother anymore.”

“So, that's it?” Kdin questioned, raising his eyebrows, and Gavin nodded.

“It's for the best, don't you think? Michael probably doesn't feel the same about me anyway.”

“That's what you keep saying, but you can't know that for sure until he says so himself,” Meg reminded him.

“Like I told you last week, do you want me to go elementary school on his ass and ask him for you?” Kdin asked, ignoring the way Meg looked baffled at him for that.

“No, I don't want you guys to help!” Gavin responded, a bit too harshly, but he didn't care. “I want you guys to stay out of this, because it doesn't matter and it's _none_ of your business!”

“Aw, but Gav-”

“I said _no,_ Kdin.”

Kdin averted his eyes as Gavin started to get up from the table. Meg was going to ask where he was going, but judging by the glare on his face, she didn't. Gavin tossed the rest of his food into the trash and stormed out of the cafeteria, passing by Ray and Miles who stopped in their tracks to not run into him.

“Hmm, I think something's up with Gavin,” Miles commented as he and Ray went towards their table.

“Yeah, but if I tried to be a nice person and ask him what was wrong, he wouldn't tell me, so, oh well. Maybe he'll figure it out,” Ray said, sitting down and picking up his plastic spoon.

Miles nodded, agreeing quietly before changing the subject. “Anyway, what were you saying about yesterday?”

Ray chewed on his mash potatoes slowly as he thought back to it. “Oh, yeah! Michael and I went to GameStop to see if there was any new games we could get to play and we spent hours last night just playing everything we bought, and _man_ , it is way too easy to beat him at anything. It's also hilarious to hear him rage after realizing how much he sucks.”

Miles laughed a little and asked, “Is this you just trying to brag to me about how good at video games you are? Because if so, you're an asshole and one day I'll be better than you.” There was such a look of determination on his face that made Ray smile.

“I sense a challenge.”

“Are you going to accept it?”

“A challenge to see if you can beat me at some video games? Hell yeah I'm accepting it. Easiest thing I'll ever have to do.”

Miles gasped dramatically. “You are so mean. Why am I even friends with you?” The sarcasm that laced his voice when he said that was why Ray laughed instead of responding, and when Miles was about to say more, Michael walked up behind him and roughly placed his hands on his shoulders. This time Miles' gasp was real and so was the jump he did, and Ray laughed even harder.

“You idiots wanna come sit with us,” Michael paused to nod towards Blaine who was standing next to him, “Or do you wanna continue sitting here alone like a lonely, sad couple?”

Miles took a deep breath to calm himself down from that scare he just had and looked up at Michael finally. “I resent that, because we aren't sad or lonely!” 

“But we are a couple?” Ray asked him.

Miles blinked and faced him again. “What?”

“You denied the part about us not being sad or lonely, but you didn't deny us being a couple,” Ray waggled his eyebrows a little and Michael and Blaine laughed. 

Miles grinned slowly at Ray and said, “Well, you know, if I was single-”

“Oh, shut up,” Ray immediately cut him off, “I wouldn't date you even if you were single.”

“Why not?! If someone as amazing as Arryn can find a reason to like me, then so can you!”

“Hmm, not quite sure how to take that, so I'm just going to say, you're not my type, Miles, and not because you're a guy, but because you're Miles.”

“Fair enough, I guess.”

“Back to my question,” Michael spoke, “You guys gonna join us or not?”

Miles tensed a little at the grip on his shoulders tightening. “I will if you don't break me,” he practically squeaked. Michael smiled as he put his hands down and Miles sighed in relief. He and Ray started to get up as Michael and Blaine walked ahead first. 

“Just out of curiosity, uh... who would you consider your type?” Miles asked Ray as they lingered behind. 

Ray shrugged. “I don't know if I really have one; I just know you're not it.” And he laughed at the pout Miles shot him.

 


	33. Thirty-three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a new song to the playlist, so you can go check it out if you'd like. It is "Not Alone" by Family Force 5.

Lindsay turned her head to look at Barbara with a raised eyebrow. Barbara had a habit of tapping her fingers, or in this case – her pen, on something when she was becoming impatient. Lindsay couldn't really blame at her right now, considering they were sitting with everyone else in the auditorium as they awaited the arrival of Mrs. Spencer. Arryn seemed to be bothered with Barbara's consistent tapping of that pen since she also turned to stare at her curiously.

“I think you need to relax; Mrs. Spencer said she would be back soon.”

Barbara groaned, throwing her head back and rolling her eyes. “She tells us on Monday that we'll know by Wednesday – that's today – what the play is going to be, and then she decides today is the day she goes out to buy herself a late lunch.”

“Can't blame her for being hungry and being too busy for food when it was lunch,” Kara told her. Lindsay nodded in agreement and Barbara let out a long sigh.

“I know, but I think what makes me more impatient is that I'm also hungry.”

“Oh, here,” Lindsay said as she reached into her backpack and pulled out a bag of chips. Barbara's eyes widened excitedly as she was handed the snack and Lindsay couldn't resist laughing a little.

Just as Barbara was opening the bag and taking a chip out, Mrs. Spencer strolled in. This didn't stop Barbara from eating, but she made sure to be quiet with the chewing.

“I'm sorry for the wait,” Mrs. Spencer said, setting her bags down on a table. “I know you're all ready to know what our first big play of the year is going to be.”

“Yes!” Barbara shouted out, mouth full of chips that everyone turned to look at her with a smile.

Mrs. Spencer also smiled and shook her head. “Okay, enough of the wait, then. The play is going to be Little Women.” It was probably comical how everyone's jaws fell open at that.

“Yes!” Barbara actually shouted again, but this time, she jumped up as well, causing her bag to fall out of her lap. Ignoring that, she swallowed and further said, “I think I've read Little Women more than any other book and let me tell you, I'd make a perfect Amy – well, _young_ Amy, because she reminds me of how I was when I was a kid.” She paused to gasp.

“Ah, when you said there was a little girl involved, you meant Amy, didn't you?” Kara asked Mrs. Spencer.

Mrs. Spencer nodded. “It's not a huge hint and I bet it did get _plenty_ of other plays in your minds,” almost everyone else nodded, “Yes, that was the idea. Well! Now that the reveal is over with, I'm going to talk more details, including when auditions are.”

Barbara slowly sat back down and turned to Lindsay. “You have to audition for the role of Jo; I think you'd fit that part _perfectly._ ”

“I never read the book, but I did see the movie and I liked Jo a lot,” Lindsay told her. “Either her or Meg.”

“Oh, but how cute would it have been if our Meg was in the club and got the role of Meg March?” Arryn asked them.

“What if we the four of us got the roles of the sisters, though?” Barbara asked, wrapping her arms around all of them as best as she could. Arryn smiled as she rested her head on Barbara's shoulder.

“I think we can pull off looking like we're related,” said Lindsay. “We basically are sisters already.”

“Two blondes, a brunette, and a redhead – hmm, beautiful,” Kara cooed, leaning in closer to Arryn so Barbara could reach her better.

Mrs. Spencer briefly went over the story of Little Women, talking about how there was going to be two people for the role of Amy, because she does end up growing from being a little girl. She told them that auditions would start on Thursday and would continue on Friday and Saturday. With that, she told everyone to have a nice afternoon and that she would see them tomorrow.

Lindsay, Barbara, Arryn, and Kara hurried on their way out, going over about when exactly they wanted to audition and which sisters Kara and Arryn would do great as. Behind them, they could hear other groups of friends basically discussing the same thing with equal amount of excitement.

“If I'm being honest, I think Arryn would make an adorable Beth,” Barbara said as she wrapped her arms around Arryn, making them have to walk closely and a bit clumsily together, “And when you know what happens, you'll have everyone in tears because it's not fair and you're so cute.”

“And Kara can be the wonderful _Meg_ _March_ who _loves_ the fancy clothes and fancy parties and overall _fanciness_ , because she desires to be wealthy,” Lindsay said, trying to make herself sound as proper as possible.

“But she does have a big heart and is a _total_ romantic,” Barbara teased as she poked Kara's arm.

“Oh, I'd happily play that role,” Kara said, halting in her tracks momentarily to do a little courtesy. Her friends laughed and they continued on their way out of the school.

Lindsay started walking a little ahead of them and was about to look over and say her goodbyes when a car honk had them all turning to see who it was. Lindsay immediately stopped walking when she saw Geoff sitting in the passenger seat of his own car, but her mild confusion was subsided as she realized the driver was Michael.

“Did Michael _drive_ here?” Barbara asked, still holding onto Arryn as they both raised their eyebrows.

Lindsay smiled and looked at her. “Yeah, Geoff's been teaching him since Saturday.”

“And Geoff already lets him drive all the way here?” Kara asked. Lindsay shrugged.

“Apparently.”

“Are you getting in or what?” Lindsay heard Geoff call out.

She turned to face him and Michael again with a bigger smile. “I was planning on walking! You guys didn't have to come for me.”

“Yeah, well, I was giving Michael another after school driving lesson and since we were just about done and knew you'd be done here soon, we decided _why not_?”

Lindsay practically skipped her way towards the car and stopped once she reached the door. She turned back to her friends to say, “Alright, talk to you guys later.”

“None of you need a ride home?” Michael asked Barbara, Arryn, and Kara, but they all shook their heads.

Barbara let go of Arryn as she pointed towards something. “My mom is actually driving up now and Arryn's coming over to my place, so she's taken care of.”

“Yeah and my dad is already parked over there,” Kara said as she nodded towards a certain direction, “But thanks for the offer!”

Lindsay waved to them and got into the backseat. “So, Michael's great at this driving thing, isn't he?” She asked Geoff, but she was smiling at Michael. Michael wanted to hold back his smile, but it kind of revealed itself anyway.

“Yep,” Geoff answered with a nod. He placed a hand on Michael's shoulder for a second as he said to him, “I trust you know how to get us out of this parking lot without a problem.”

“I think I can handle it,” Michael told him with such confidence that Geoff couldn't help feeling proud.

“You've been doing great, buddy. Keep it up.”

As Michael began to drive off, Lindsay continued to smile as she watched the expressions on his face slowly change from relief, to giddiness, and then he was merely relaxed. There were just a few times where he would press down on the brake too hard or start driving a little over the speed limit, but other than that, he was doing well – really well, and Lindsay could easily see how impressed Geoff was. Michael could probably sense that too, because a smile would randomly appear on his face every time he glanced over at Geoff.

* * *

 

“Be honest with me, Kdin,” Gavin spoke as he walked around the couch to sit down next to him. Kdin looked at him but remained silent as he waited for Gavin to go on. “What _do_ you think Michael would say if I told him?”

“Oh, I thought Gavin decided he wasn't going to tell Michael anything,” Kdin teased, laughing a bit when Gavin shoved him.

“I'm serious,” Gavin urged.

“Well, Gavin, I can't really say, because I don't know Michael all that well,” Kdin sighed a little dramatically and a placed a hand on his own cheek. “I guess you're just gonna have to tell him to figure it out.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and turned his attention towards the TV instead, ignoring the snickering coming from his friend. The slide doors opened and Griffon stepped in, pulling her shoes off and setting them outside by the door.

“Hey, boys,” she greeted them. She smiled as she made her way towards the couch. “What are you up to?”

“Just TV and girl talk,” Kdin answered. This time he wasn't surprised when Gavin punched him in the arm.

“Girl talk, huh?” Griffon asked, placing her hands on her hips and looking at Gavin specifically for the explanation.

“He was kidding,” Gavin grumbled in response.

“Aw, Gavin. There's no need to be embarrassed about it. You're forgetting that I'm not Geoff.”

Gavin shook his head. “It's nothing, Griffon.”

“Okay, but if it ends up being _something,_ you know where to find me,” with that, Griffon began heading towards the stairs when the front door opened and in entered Michael, Lindsay, and Geoff. “Oh, well hey!”

Gavin perked up and looked over his shoulder to find Michael standing there and smiling at Griffon as she asked them how it went. Geoff did the answering, going on and on about how Michael was going to be able to pass his driving test without a problem by the time he needs to take it. Lindsay chimed in, saying how she didn't feel nervous about being in that car the entire ride home while Michael just continued standing there with a somewhat shy smile on his face. He was seeming to get a little flustered with them talking about him, so he got onto the staircase and turned to say, “Well, I'm gonna go take a shower.” before hurrying up.

Kdin nudged Gavin. “Now's your chance. He's gonna be alone. Go tell him.”

“He's going to take a shower, though. He'll be busy.”

“He has to get his stuff first, so while he's doing that, you can tell him.”

Gavin bit down on his lower lip and stood up slowly, keeping his eyes on the staircase. Kdin was about to cheer him on when he quickly just sat back down and shook his head.

“I'll tell him tomorrow,” Gavin whispered.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, tomorrow.”

“Why not now?”

“I need more time.”

Kdin opened his mouth to argue about how Gavin has had plenty of time, but he had honestly never seen Gavin look so nervous about doing something he didn't _need_ to do. “Okay,” he said, “Tomorrow.”

“Yes, and it will happen, Kdin. I will tell him,” although Gavin didn't sound so sure of himself. It was as if he merely saying what he felt he had to, but Kdin could tell he was saying it in such a way to try and convince himself that he would go through with it – that he could.

“If it doesn't end up happening-”

“It will.”

“But if it _doesn't,_ it's not a big deal, Gavin. Lots of people can't tell someone how they feel and that's fine. If it's meant to be, it will-”

“Oh, don't give me that crap.”

Kdin closed his mouth and put his hands up in defense. They both said nothing about that as they attempted to get into the movie on TV.

 

* * *

 

When tomorrow came, Gavin did keep reminding himself that confessing this to Michael wasn't necessary, but he wanted to do it. He just wanted to get it off his chest, because ever since he admitted it out loud, it hadn't stopped plaguing his mind from just wondering if there was a possibility Michael was feeling the exact same. A part of him really did doubt it, which was what kept stopping him, but the other part thought the possibility was a big one.

He must have appeared fidgety throughout the day at school, because every now and so, a classmate would ask him if he was okay. He would smile at them and say “of course”, but no, he wasn't exactly “okay”, but he was decent enough.

After school, he rode home on the bus alone. Kdin had been picked up by his mom, Michael had walked to Geoff's work to meet up for another lesson while Lindsay stayed for the play audition with Meg there to support her and the other girls, and Ray had also stayed for some tutor lesson in the library with Miles.

Griffon wasn't home when Gavin got there, but she had left a note on the counter saying she would return by dinner time. Gavin sighed and tried to relax. He went over what he wanted to say to Michael _again_ to make sure he had it right. His stomach began to growl and he figured making himself a nice snack could keep the time going faster until Michael and Geoff got back. Their driving lessons only took about an hour or more everyday anyway. It wasn't too long of a wait.

Gavin started rummaging through the refrigerator, pulling out whatever looked appetizing to him to throw together. Everything Meg and Kdin had told him before started playing through his mind and he smiled, because when they talked about it with him, they made it feel so simple. He almost wished they were there to help him out now, to save him in case he messed up his words.

He sat down on the bar stool and munched on the small variation of fruit salad he made. He was fairly indulged in the food and thoughts of other things that didn't consist of Michael that he wasn't even sure how long he'd been sitting there when laughter suddenly filled his ears. He turned in his seat to find Michael and Geoff entering the house. Apparently something hilarious had happened on their way back. Gavin looked down at his half empty plate, his stomach feeling much too full for more, but that might have just been he butterflies taking over in there.

“Alright, I'm going to change. I'll be back,” Geoff said as he ran up the stairs.

Michael nodded and looked back and forth from the stairs to the living room, silently debating whether he wanted to stay down or go to his room. Gavin abruptly got off the bar stool as he saw that Michael had decided to go up.

“Michael,” he called softly, causing Michael to halt in his tracks and turn around.

“Oh, hi Gavin,” that bland tone in Michael's voice almost made Gavin change his mind, but no, not this time.

“You remember the other day when I told you there was something I wanted to talk to you about?” He asked.

Michael tilted his head slightly, looking up at the ceiling as he tried recalling that, and when he did, he groaned. “Shit, I forgot all about that. Dude, I'm sorry. I hope it wasn't urgent or anything, because fuck, it's been almost a week!”

“I know,” Gavin nodded, “Well, it _felt_ urgent, but really, it isn't.”

Michael stepped down the two steps and came face-to-face with him. “What the hell are you talking about, Gavin?”

Gavin swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he stared hard at Michael. It must have been months since the last time he was this close to him. And now his heart was beginning to pick up pace that he could only hope his words didn't come out weak.

“You hurt me, Michael,” and luckily, not a stutter in sight for a start, but then his eyes did widen when he realized what he had actually said. That was _not_ the way he had planned for this to go. He originally wanted to start off by simply just telling Michael the truth, but what the hell was that?

He was going to apologize and try re-doing his statement, although it was too late.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and blinked hard, “Wait, _what_?”

This was really how it was going to go then... If Gavin was being honest, that wasn't what he planned to tell Michael, of course, but it was always something he held in. “You heard me,” he spoke, keeping his eyes on Michael's.

“Yeah,” Michale nodded, “and that's the problem, because I'm not sure you know what you're talking about-”

“You told me you weren't looking to be in a relationship, yet you still let us fool around,” Gavin paused to gather his thoughts for a second, but as he saw Michael opening his mouth, he cut in quickly, “It was like you knew the affect you had on me and honestly, Michael, I have no idea how you even felt about all of it.”

Michael averted his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I respect that you didn't want anything serious, I do,” Gavin assured him, “But I just want to know, Michael, is that was there ever any ounce of hope, or was I utterly kidding myself?”

Without a word, Michael turned and started going back up the stairs, but this time, Gavin followed and any of that little nervousness Gavin had inside was now gone and replaced with anger.

“You can't just walk away from me after I ask you that!” He shouted, stomping after Michael.

“I don't wanna talk about it,” Michael mumbled.

“You _have_ to talk about it!”

As Michael reached the very top, he spun around, almost catching Gavin off guard. He gritted his teeth as he asked, “Why? That was then, this is now, and we both moved on! _Didn't_ we?”

“I don't know, you tell me; was there anything for you to move on from? That's all I want to know, Michael. Just answer me that and I'll let you be.”

“Will you, though?” Michael questioned, his expression and voice softening that Gavin felt a mixture of emotions run through him. “What if I told you there was something to move on from? What would you do, then? Because I know that if I say there was nothing, you would walk away from me right now and _never_ talk to me again.”

“That's right,” Gavin agreed with a nod.

“So, what if there was _something,_ then?”

Gavin swallowed another lump, but it wasn't doing him any good. Only Michael had the power to make his heart beat wildly like it was now and it was really making it difficult to speak, though he managed his best.

“Just tell me, Michael. _Was_ there?”

Michael's lips parted as he stared at Gavin, because he was afraid of the outcomes. If he said there wasn't, Gavin would be done with him, and if he said there was, well, he didn't know what would happen. Despite his cluttered mind, despite the fact that he could easily tell Gavin he was hurt too, there was one thing he did know and that was that he didn't want to lie or argue further. He took a deep, slightly shaky, breath and nodded, because maybe everything else could be figured out later. He wanted Gavin to know this first.

It was impossible for a heart to stop beating momentarily, but that's how it felt like for Gavin.

“Well, alright then,” he said casually before grabbing Michael's face and pressing their lips together.

Michael sighed into the kiss as his hands went up to hold onto Gavin's wrists. He then felt himself being pushed back until he was up against the wall and Gavin was holding him there, their lips never separating. It felt like the second they kissed when it was evident how much they wanted it just as they did now, when all they wanted was to get closer to each other as if it was possible.

To forget everything else for a moment, not worry about what else might be important, but right now, it didn't matter. They didn't want it to matter. They wanted to get lost in each other, to become breathless and pretend those months they spent foolishly ignoring each other never happened. They wanted to make this all worth, to make up for all time lost, because they _needed_ this.

And Gavin could hardly contain the way everything inside of him felt like it was going to burst, especially in his chest. The way Michael was gently sucking on his lower lip, he felt like he wouldn't be able to properly form words if he tried. He was already getting lost in Michael and he didn't even care about finding his way out.

Not this time.

Not anymore.

But when Michael did pull away for a moment, they smiled at each other – Gavin's being a lopsided grin and Michael's a smug smirk. Gavin then grabbed Michael's hand and started leading him towards his bedroom door. Michael pressed him up against that door and planted small kisses along Gavin's jawline. With his free hand, Gavin reached back and grabbed the doorknob, but he stood there with his eyes half hooded as he allowed himself to enjoy what Michael was doing to him.

“Michael,” he ended up breathing out, getting Michael to pull back and stare at him with a gentle gaze. Gavin took the opportunity to turn the doorknob and let the door slowly open behind him.

Holding onto Michael's hand, Gavin began entering his room backwards, never breaking eye contact with Michael and Michael's gentle smile slowly turned into a lopsided grin as he followed and slammed the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

“I don't want to grow up and be _Miss_ _March_ ,” Lindsay read off the script she was holding in her hands as she stood on the stage. She tried sounding genuinely upset to add emotion to what she was reading. “I won't wear long gowns and be prim as a porcelain doll. I just can't get over my disappointment in not being a boy. Look at me,” she gestured towards herself with her free hand, “dying to go out and fight in the war with Papa,” she looked out longingly for a second before huffing and starting to sit down, “and all I can do is sit at home and knit like a _pokey old_ woman.”

She ended that paragraph by setting the script aside and crossing her arms to stay in character momentarily. Mrs. Spencer was grinning as she clapped her hands, along with Barbara, Arryn, Kara, and Meg.

“That was incredible, Lindsay,” Mrs. Spencer told her. “I can't lie, that puts you in the lead so far. But now that everyone who is auditioning for Jo is done for today, can we have our next sister up?”

Arryn smiled as she jumped up from her seat and hurried onto the stage. The part for Meg March had been first and Kara went for it, getting a loud applause from Mrs. Spencer, which was a good sign, so Kara and Lindsay were feeling pretty confident.

Arryn cleared her throat and waited for her cue before beginning. There weren't many others there for the first day of auditions, but they all figured everyone was going to be there on Saturday, so none of the girls wanted to keep their hopes up too high. Someone else could come along and do better at a certain part. They didn't want to be negative either, though.

Barbara started searching for the right line she wanted to do for when it was her time to go up and audition for Young Amy, because she wanted to be able to be a little girl, even if that meant she wouldn't be in the entire play. Arryn was doing pretty well with face expressions as she spoke her lines. She was also great with not having to look down at the script too much, which did seem to impress Mrs. Spencer. Lindsay and Meg gave her a thumbs up when she glanced their way and Arryn tried not breaking character and smiling.

Down the hall and around the corner was the library where Ray and Miles still were, wishing they were anywhere but there. Ray was struggling with keeping his eyes open, but a nudge from Miles every now and then did the trick for a bit.

“Oh, man,” Ray yawned. “What kind of a tutor session is this? Nobody's even helping anyone. We're all just sitting here like we're in trouble. Come on, let's just go.” He started to get up, but Miles grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

“No, I feel bad walking out, and Arryn's still here, so I'm waiting for her to be done.”

“I didn't say we had to leave the school. We just leave this library. We came to get help and we aren't getting shit, Miles. It's a waste of time. Let's go.” Again, Ray tried standing, but this time, Miles pulled him down by his shoulder.

Ray inhaled sharply and faced him. “You know what? If you don't wanna go, I'm leaving.” And he wasn't kidding around, either. He gathered his things and jumped up from his seat before Miles could even think about stopping him a third time.

Miles gasped and hurried up out of his seat. “No, wait! Ray!” He went after his friend, ignoring the glares he was receiving from everyone as they made their way out. “Okay, jeez, you know, maybe the tutor person just hasn't arrived yet so they all just decided to have a little study session instead.”

“Can't study something I don't even understand, Miles,” Ray argued.

Miles raised his eyebrows as he thought that over. “Huh, yeah you're right.” So with a shrug, he told himself not to feel bad for walking out like that.

They headed towards the front of the school to merely hang out while they waited for the auditions to be over. Ray sat down on the brick railing as Miles took a seat on the first step. Neither of them said anything as they stared out and watched a few cars drive by, but Ray was beginning to feel a little impatient, especially since he had something on the mind that he had been meaning to discuss with Miles...

“Hey, Miles,” he spoke and waited until Miles was looking up at him. “How are things with you and Arryn?”

“Exactly how you see it – she's amazing and fun and I somehow keep making her laugh,” Miles answered, a proud smile forming on his face, but then that smile faded and he squinted his eyes. “Why do you ask?”

“Wow, I can't just be curious about how your relationship is going?”

“You can, sure, but that's not like you.”

Ray sighed and nodded. “Yeah, you got me. _Alright._ Well, you see, there's this-” He didn't even get to finish talking before Miles was up on his feet and grinning wildly at him.

“Who are they? What's their name? What class do you share with them? _Do_ you share a class with them? And if so, am _I_ in that class, too?” All of those questions sounded so jumbled together that Ray furrowed his eyebrows, baffled as to what to answer first.

“Man, why are you assuming it's about a person?” Ray asked instead.

“I can see it in your eyes!”

“And I can see in your eyes that you're a creep. Maybe I should have just went to Michael with this.”

Miles wrinkled up his nose. “Since when is he your best friend forever and ever?”

Ray laughed softly. “Since never. You're still that and the only one who will ever be that to me, but I know he wouldn't hassle me with questions when I try bringing up an innocent subject.”

“And _what_ would this _innocent_ subject be about? Hmm?” Miles asked, eyebrows raised as he stepped closer to Ray, hardly any space between them, and normally Ray would probably tell him to back off, but he couldn't find it within him to do so.

The corners of his mouth rose slightly as he looked over Miles' face, but the longer he stared, the more he felt his own face heating up and he quickly shook his head. “Nothing,” he said finally, averting his eyes.

Miles would have tried saying more on that, but the doors opened and they both turned to find the girls walking out.

“Hey beautiful,” sang Miles as Arryn joined him at his side. Ray's eyebrows twitched together a little as he watched the two wrap their arms around each other.

“Aw, Ray, I'm happy you're still here,” Lindsay said to him. “Now we can walk home together.” But since he was still staring at Miles and Arryn, he didn't respond, and Lindsay cleared her throat to get his attention. Ray blinked hard and looked at her.

“What happened?” He asked.

Lindsay simply smiled and repeated herself, “I'm happy you're still here, because now we can walk home together.”

“Oh... yeah! Yeah, definitely.”

“Have a nice walk home,” Arryn said, “I would be going home too, but Miles here apparently has somewhere he wants to take me first. Although, he won't tell me where this place is.”

“That takes the fun out of it,” Miles told her, leaning in to kiss her on the nose and she scrunched it up as she smiled.

“Well instead of standing around here and letting you guys melt my heart, I'm going to call my mom to pick me up,” Barbara said, starting to walk down the steps. “I'll see you all around later!”

“I think I see my dad again so I'm heading off, too,” Kara told everyone with a wave before hurrying towards the parking lot.

“Yeah and we're gonna get going now, too, before it gets too late,” Miles said as he let go of Arryn to hold her hand instead. Ray and Lindsay nodded.

“So are we,” Lindsay spoke, smiling over at Ray.

They said their goodbyes and walked off in different directions and even though it was completely quiet between her and Ray, Lindsay didn't question it.

* * *

 

Michael pulled himself away from Gavin until he was on his back and staring up at the ceiling as Gavin was. They hadn't said a word to each other for a while, but they were enjoying the nice little silence between them. It was comforting, especially since they were together with nothing to bother them. But when Gavin opened his mouth to finally speak, Michael suddenly sat up and turned his body so his feet would touch the ground. Gavin pulled himself up as well and crawled closer to Michael. Michael stiffened at the feeling of warm breath on the back of his neck; it actually sent chills through him, making goosebumps rise on his arms. Gavin smiled softly as he leaned down and began peppering kisses on every inch of exposed skin, but when he ran out of skin to kiss, he slowly tugged on the collar of Michael's shirt to reveal his shoulder.

Michael's eyes fluttered shut as he leaned back against Gavin, sighing softly as he felt Gavin's small kisses. Gavin stopped what he was doing and grinned when Michael leaned back enough to rest his head on Gavin's shoulder. Gavin went on to plant kisses on the side of Michael's head and down to his cheek.

Michael opened his eyes and looked up at him with a smile. “Your fucking face is getting scratchy,” he commented, making Gavin laugh.

“I've missed you terribly,” Gavin confessed in a hushed tone before pressing his lips against Michael's forehead.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and kept looking up at him. “But what do you mean? I've _been_ here,” he sounded so sarcastic that Gavin rolled his eyes.

“You know exactly what I mean, so stop kidding around.” Michael merely grinned at him. Gavin's eyes flickered down to Michael's lips and just as he started to lean in, they heard the front door open, followed by Ray loudly announcing that he and Lindsay were home. Gavin groaned a little and Michael got himself up on his feet.

“Can't we just stay in here?” Gavin asked, not meaning to sound whiny or needy, but he despised having his time with Michael interrupted. It had been too long since he had this kind of intimacy with Michael and he didn't need interruptions.

“We've been in here for a while already, Gav, and honestly, I'm kinda hungry.”

Gavin groaned again, but this time louder and filled with more irritation, as he stood up. Michael laughed softly and stepped closer to him. He wrapped his arms around Gavin's waist and Gavin raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“You're such a drama queen,” Michael teased.

Gavin scoffed and captured Michael's lips with his own. When Michael felt Gavin's tongue against his lower lip, obviously waiting for approval of entrance, he abruptly pulled away and took a step back with a sly smile on his face. Gavin pouted at him, his lips looking a little swollen, though it didn't help him get anything. Michael just ruffled his hair before opening the door and walking out.

Michael saw Ray on his way down the stairs and happily greeted him, but when Gavin walked out of his room to go after Michael and almost ran right into Ray, the two just stared at each other.

“Excuse me, Gav,” Ray mumbled, moving to the side to give himself and Gavin room.

Gavin nodded at him and went on his way down.

Lindsay was in the kitchen where Geoff was already cooking up dinner and Michael halted in his tracks, a bit stunned to find Griffon also there.

“Oh, crap, I didn't even hear when you got here,” he told her, walking again until he was by Lindsay's side.

“Yeah, just got here about ten minutes ago, though,” Griffon explained.

“Okay, I was going to wait until we were all sitting down and eating dinner, but I can't keep this in any longer,” Lindsay said, getting each of them to look at her.

“Well then, speak up,” Geoff told her, turning completely away from the meatballs he was making. He crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter and Griffon stood next to him, both of them eagerly awaiting the news. If Lindsay's smile was wider than usual, it had to mean this was huge.

Gavin stayed near the doorway, hands in his pockets as he listened, but he couldn't help himself from glancing at Michael every now and then.

“So, the first big play of the year is Little Women, and I auditioned today for the role of Jo,” Lindsay began, grinning when Geoff and Griffon gasped excitedly.

“That's the main character, isn't it?” Griffon asked. Lindsay nodded.

“Holy shit, Lindsay's gonna be a star,” Michael said, his lips curling up into a smile when she shook her head.

“They said I was good, but it's not official yet, Michael.”

Michael sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Nah, I believe in you, Lindsay, so I _better_ be the first to know.”

Lindsay laughed and nodded. “Okay, sure. I will know by the end of next week to give everyone a chance to audition and for Mrs. Spencer to make up her mind, because she's expecting plenty of people to audition.”

“Huh, being a drama teacher... sounds like hard work,” Geoff commented as he turned back to the ground beef.

“Yeah, she has to pick a student for _each_ role, and it must be even more difficult when more than one person fits a certain role perfectly.”

“I bet you already have the part, but she has to be fair and pretend to care about everyone else going for that role,” Michael stated, looking over at Gavin as if waiting for him to agree. Gavin's eyes brightened as he nodded.

“Yeah, Lindsay,” he said, “Michael's right.” Michael rolled his eyes but smiled at him.

“Thanks, guys. I can only hope,” Lindsay crossed her fingers and Michael and Griffon did the same.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I basically chose the play to be Little Women because it's the one I was in (I was Meg March haha). :D


	34. Thirty-four

Michael wandered happily out of his math class, because that was enough of numbers and problems he hardly understood for the day. Or for the year, for that matter, but at least it was Friday and he was going to have a weekend to relax and not have to completely think about school. He headed towards his locker, sighing because his next class wasn't going to be any better. He pulled the textbook he needed out and put away his math one before shutting the locker, but that's when he almost screamed. Gavin was standing there, looking a bit baffled as to why Michael was closing to just having a heartache.

“Fucking hell, Gavin; don't do that to me,” Michael told him, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

Gavin merely smirked at him as he took a step forward. “Sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you,” and as he spoke, with that soft voice, he wrapped his arm around Michael's waist to pull him closer.

Michael's eyebrows twitched together, but he couldn't help but smile at the way Gavin was looking at him, like he was seeing him for the first time in a whole new light. It was actually pretty flustering that Michael averted his eyes after a moment. Gavin leaned in closer to say something when they heard someone utter, “Oh, my bad.” Michael immediately pulled away from Gavin to find Blaine standing in front of them, looking lost and as red as Michael felt.

“Oh, uh, I didn't mean to interrupt or anything,” Blaine started sputtering out, “I was, uh, I was not looking, and I just kind of... wow, okay. I'm sorry,” He turned to walk away, but Michael reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“Nothing was going on, so you're fine, Blaine,” he assured him. Gavin furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Michael, but Michael wasn't paying him any attention.

“Are you sure?” Blaine asked slowly, looking back and forth between the two of them and noticing the blatant unamused look on Gavin's face.

Michael nodded. “Yeah, Gav and I were just talking.”

Blaine raised an eyebrow questioningly, but when he faced Gavin again and saw him glaring, he sighed.

“I'm gonna go,” he said, specifically to Michael, “You say I didn't interrupt anything, but I feel like I really did, and I feel bad, so...” Blaine smiled at him before turning away and heading off down the hall. Michael rolled his eyes and turned to Gavin, but Gavin was already beginning to walk away, or at least try to.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Michael asked.

“Away from you since it's obvious you don't want to be seen with me.”

“Shut up! That's not even true.”

Gavin completely stopped moving and turned around. “Oh, it's not?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. “It sure did look like you hated the fact that Blaine caught us together. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. It's okay, though, Michael. I don't know what I was expecting anyway.” He was ready to storm off, but he felt Michael grabbing his arm and pulling him back. He looked back at him to say something, but he immediately forgot what that “something” was the second Michael's lips were on his. He tilted his head and just about to kiss back when Michael pulled away.

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows and Michael held up a finger, pointing it at him.

“Don't you ever fucking think that you embarrass me, okay?” Judging by the bitter tone in his voice, Gavin knew he was being more serious than ever. He merely nodded as a response and Michael smiled at him. Then Gavin leaned in a little, his eyes focused on Michael's mouth, and Michael kept the smile on his face as the peck grazed his lips.

“See you in class later?” Gavin asked, his voice quiet.

“Of course.”

* * *

 

“Oh, look, I see Mrs. Spencer,” Kara pointed out as they stood in the lunch line.

The girls looked over their shoulder to find her walking into the cafeteria. She stopped in her tracks and seemed to be scanning the entire room.

“Probably looking for us to tell us we did awesome and definitely have the part already,” Barbara said proudly.

“I do think we did great; if anyone deserves those parts, it's us,” Arryn boasted.

Lindsay grinned. “Well, even if we don't get the part, just be happy that we'll still be working on the play somehow.” They all agreed with that and turned around again when they heard their names being called by Mrs. Spencer. She quickly made her way over to them and Barbara nudged Kara excitedly.

“Hey there, Mrs. Spencer. Anything we can help you with?” Arryn asked, ignoring the small squeal one of her friends let out, but she wasn't sure which friend exactly.

“Yes, I'm just looking around for all my students to ask them for their emails,” Mrs. Spencer told her.

Arryn had to suppress the laugh daring to escape when she heard a sad sigh behind her. “Our emails?”

Mrs. Spencer held up a clipboard with a pen and paper attached. “If you girls could write it down, that would be wonderful. It's only in case I need to send one out if a meeting is to be canceled or something else has come up that I need to inform everyone about.”

Lindsay was the first to take the clipboard and write her email down. She passed to Arryn, then it went to Kara, and lastly, Barbara. Once it was back in Mrs. Spencer's hands, she wished them a good day and headed off to look for everyone else.

Lindsay sighed and turned back to her friends. “I guess we're just going to have to wait like everyone else to know if we're in or not.”

Miles and Ray had the opportunity to be one of the first in the cafeteria, because their teacher needed to be somewhere and let the class out five minutes early. Their food felt warmer than usual and much more appetizing, but instead of eating it, the two decided to play around with it together.

“Oh no, cracker drown in my mash pota _toes_ ,” Miles said in a rather childish tone that Ray had to stop from doing what he was doing to laugh.

He grabbed his plastic fork and leaned closer to Miles. Miles raised an eyebrow questioningly until he started watching Ray smash the cracker deeper into the mash potatoes.

“Oh my god, you didn't even give it a chance to live! Murderer!” Miles shouted dramatically and Ray continued to crush the cracker as he laughed.

“Now you have a nice dish of mash potatoes with smashed crackers... mmm, _delicious_ ,” Ray joked.

Miles just grinned at him until they were both tore away from their silly antics at the sound of loud laughter. They looked over to see that Gavin and Kdin were currently finding something particularly hilarious.

“Do you ever miss hanging out with them?” Miles suddenly asked. Ray looked at him with raised eyebrows, actually taken a bit aback by the question.

“I guess sometimes, but oh well. They're the ones who stopped talking and hanging out with us. We didn't really do anything,” Ray told him.

“Yeah, I know, but I don't know... I've just been thinking a lot about last year lately.”

“Just last year?”

“A lot of things happened to us last year with the four of us, well, when there was a four of us. There was that time we actually went out to help Michael-”

“And you punched that one asshole in the face,” Ray interjected.

“Oh my god! I _did_ do that, didn't I?” Miles was smiling like a child who had just witnessed the most amazing thing and Ray shook his head, unable to resist a smile as well. “Okay, there was that,” Miles continued, “And hey! We even went to a school dance. Now _that_ right there is something I'll never forget.”

“Why?”

“Uh, because that's when I finally got the nerve to ask Arryn out and I got to see _you_ dressed up. My life is a bit boring, Ray, so those two things mean a lot to me,” but then Miles' smile was faltering and he was turning to look at Gavin and Kdin again. “Maybe last year wasn't our best year, but it was the last one we spent together.”

Ray put his milk carton down and placed a comforting hand on Miles' shoulder. “Not everything stays the same, but at least you and I still got each other.”

Miles wasn't going to lie and say that wasn't a reassuring thought, but instead of verbally responding, he just sighed.

As Kdin began digging into his food, Gavin snapped his fingers.

“I just remembered! I have something really important to tell you.”

“Alright. What is it?”

Gavin looked around a bit to make sure no one could overhear them, and then he faced Kdin with a smug look that made Kdin furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“Michael and I, uh, we-”

“Oh, wait!” Kdin cut him off instantly, holding a hand up. “Shit. That's right! You were supposed... and you _did_?” Gavin nodded, biting down on his lower lip. “I almost forgot! Holy shit. I'm so happy for you. So, wait, you guys are like together now or?”

Gavin shrugged. “I don't know, but I do know that the feelings are returned and that makes me feel better about everything.”

“I'm glad. Now I don't have to deal with seeing that longing look in your eye because you're constantly wondering about _what if_.”

“Hey, I've never had that look on my face.”

“Yeah, okay, Gavin. Whatever you say,” Kdin smiled as he looked back down at his food.

“But I... I never did,” Gavin pouted a little.

The two spent the rest of their lunch period talking on about other things that have going on in their lives until it was time for them to throw out their trash and head out. On their way out of the cafeteria, they found Meg saying her goodbyes to the girls.

“Meg!” Gavin called and she spun around, smiling when she saw him and Kdin.

“Guess who finally did what he should have done like a year ago?” Kdin asked her.

Gavin scoffed as he looked at Kdin. “A _year_ ago?”

“I don't know how long you've liked him!”

Gavin was going to argue a little further with that when Meg grabbed him by the shoulders and asked, “You told Michael?” And he nodded. “Holy crap, Gavin! I'm so proud of you!”

“You can be proud of him as we walk out of here and get to our lockers,” Kdin said, playfully pushing Gavin forward, along with Meg. The three of them slowly made their way through the crowd gathering to get into the hallways. Meg looked over to the side to find Michael standing nearby, talking with one of his friends – Kyle, she assumed.

“Hey, there is he now,”she teased, shoving Gavin lightly in their direction.

“He's with someone,” Gavin mumbled.

“ _So_?” Meg and Kdin simultaneously asked, both wearing the same expression that read “Is that supposed to matter or something?”

Gavin rolled his eyes and simply began walking toward Michael. He could hear Meg and Kdin whispering something to each other, but he didn't bother looking back at them. As he got closer to Michael, Gavin took a deep breath. Why was he feeling nervous? There was nothing to be nervous about. Well, his talk with Michael earlier was a bit unsettling, that was for sure, but other than that, there was no reason to feel nervous.

Michael and Kyle turned their heads and noticed Gavin walking up to them. Kyle cleared his throat and gave Michael a sort of sympathetic look before heading off in another direction. If Kyle really thought Gavin didn't see that, he was wrong. So wrong.

For the sake of not getting on Michael's bad side over something that was probably nothing, Gavin put on a smile as he came face to face with him. Michael returned the smile as Gavin leaned in and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

“Is there something wrong?” Gavin couldn't help but ask when he saw Michael's smile already fading.

Michael blinked and shook his head. “What? No. No, of course there isn't anything wrong.” Well, he sounded casual and calm enough, so Gavin decided to drop that conversation and move onto another.

“Can I... can I walk you to class then?” He was so hesitant on asking that, because as he told Kdin earlier, he honestly didn't know what he and Michael were. He could never tell.

But much to his pleasant surprise, the corners of Michael's lips rose into the kind of smile that made Gavin relax and not feel foolish for asking anything. Michael then nodded towards the hall and they began to walk down it. They were quiet at first until Gavin purposely bumped his shoulder with Michael's and looked away innocently. Michael laughed softly and shook his head.

“You're a fucking idiot,” he said in a hushed tone.

“And what does that make you, then?” Gavin was staring at him now with such a challenging look; it was actually amusing.

Michael sighed loudly as he thought about it. “Well, you know, if I'm being honest, I'm kind of an idiot, too.”

“So, we're a pair of idiots? Seems fitting.”

“I guess.”

Gavin pursed his lips and looked forward instead. Sometimes he wished he could tell what was going on in Michael's mind, but Michael was practically impossible to read. They simply spent the rest of the walk to Michael's class by occasionally bumping shoulders and laughing when one of them almost ran into something from doing that. But that was basically it, and Gavin almost couldn't help feeling disappointed.

* * *

 

Miles and Ray were pretty much the first ones out of their last class together, eager to get out of the school building and to their freedom – the weekend. Ray had been thinking about it since lunch, about inviting Miles over, and at first, he wasn't sure about it, but now that school was over, he figured to go for it. Last minute plans weren't such a bad idea, right?

“Hey, man, how do you feel about coming over to play some games? I still need to take you up on that one challenge, remember?”

Miles' eyes had lit up for a second, but then he was sighing as realization dawned on his face. “Ah, man. Maybe next time. I actually already have plans with-”

“Arryn...” Ray finished for him, because who else would it be? Not in a rude way or anything, but the only people Miles would possibly hang out with willingly now-a-days was Arryn or him.“Right.”

“Maybe I can come over afterwards? Would that be okay?”

Ray nodded. “Yeah, just... uh,” then he was shaking his head. “Actually, no. Don't feel obligated to do that.”

“I don't feel obligated. I _want_ to come over. I can do both.”

“No, spend your time with Arryn without rushing. We'll hang out tomorrow?” Because last minute plans didn't always work out they way he wanted them to. At least now they would have a plan.

“Yeah! Tomorrow sounds good.”

With that, Ray turned away from him to head towards the bus stop. Michael was already there, talking to Kerry about something, but Ray was too far to hear what – not like it was his business or anything. He waited aside a little until Kerry was walking off, giving Michael a wave before looking away, before he walked up and stood beside Michael.

“Hey, Ray,” Michael greeted him.

“Hi,” Ray used as much cheerfulness in his voice as Michael did to not throw him off, but really, now that he had nothing to do at home, he couldn't wait to get there and sleep. Yeah, a nap sounded wonderful.

He and Michael were one of the firsts to get on the bus – one of the perks of actually being in line while everyone else was just scattered around – and managed to get a decent seat together while everyone else scrambled on, basically fighting each other off to get a certain seat. Gavin and Kdin sat in the seat behind Michael and Ray while Meg and Lindsay sat in the seat in front of them. Whether or not they did that on purpose – Michael was _pretty_ sure Gavin sat behind him purposely – was left unquestioned. But that was the reason both Michael and Ray felt a little uneasy with saying anything.

Luckily, the bus ride wasn't always _too_ long, but usually the walk to the house was filled with Lindsay's lively voice, except today. She had decided to go on to Meg's house and Ray, Michael, and Gavin were left walking home without her. Michael's biggest problem with this was how they had subtly put him in the middle and having to walk in-between two people who still weren't on speaking terms was beyond uncomfortable. He attempted to walk ahead of both of them, but they would catch up and keep him there. He also wanted to try to start up some conversation that they could both participate in, although he couldn't think of any topic that was interesting enough for Gavin and Ray.

Michael just accepted being the monkey in the middle and was only relieved when the house came into view. He allowed Ray to walk in first, wishing him a nice nap and being thrown off a bit when he felt arms wrapping around him from behind. He didn't have to look to know.

“Gavin,” he sighed, “I knew you were there and that still fucking scared me a little.”

“I've been scaring you a lot today,” Gavin mused as he kissed the side of Michael's neck.

Michael swallowed roughly and walked out and away from Gavin's grip. Gavin stood still for a moment, unsure of what to say or feel, but his face was already feeling really warm from.. embarrassment, shame? Most likely both.

Michael, however, ended up realizing Gavin wasn't following him and looked over his shoulder at him. “Uh, do you wanna watch TV or something?”

The heat that felt like it was just burning Gavin's face started to immediately cool down and he nodded before hurrying to get to Michael's side. They sat down, rather awkwardly, on the couch, leaving little to no room between them. At first, it's all they did – they just sat there – and finally, Michael reached over to grab the remote off the coffee table and Gavin slumped himself deeper into the cushions of the couch. Michael turned on the TV and pretended to be occupied with finding something to wait, but really, he didn't care.

“So, we're kind of alone,” Gavin spoke softly, glancing at Michael.

Michael set the remote down, giving up on channel searching, and licked his lips as he turned to look at Gavin.

* * *

 

Ray turned over, sighing in defeat as he opened his eyes for the tenth time. Nap time wasn't working out in his favor, especially when his mind was filled with all sorts of useless crap that wouldn't let him be. He felt restless, like if he didn't get up and _do_ something now, he would become extremely anxious. But what was he supposed to do? He was sure Michael was downstairs watching TV, and he knew Gavin was down there, too, so he didn't want to be there. Miles was with Arryn. Geoff was at work. He had _no_ idea where Griffon was, but even if Geoff and Griffon were home, what he was supposed to talk to them about anyway?

He huffed as he sat up in his bed and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. He wasn't about to text Miles and interrupt whatever he was probably doing with Arryn, but he was _bored._ He wanted sleep, but sleep wasn't happening. He was in the mood to talk to Michael, to clear his mind of the reoccuring thoughts he was having, although Gavin was with Michael, apparently, and he didn't want to be around Gavin. He figured he could be the better person, suck it up, and go downstairs, yet he wouldn't be able to stand the thick tension that would probably form.

“Okay, Narvaez,” he breathed out to himself, lying back down and resting his head on his pillow. “You just need to sleep. Don't think about it too much; just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and sleep.” His eyes fluttered shut and inhaled, letting it out gently.

He would have to fall asleep eventually... maybe.

And while he took his eleventh attempt at a nap, Michael had found himself lying on top of Gavin, his fingers threading through his sandy hair and their lips moving together slowly. Gavin practically shivered when Michael tugged at his hair and started kissing him down to his jaw. It was almost ridiculous how easily he could melt from Michael's subtle touches. He couldn't even help himself. He bit down gently on his lower lip, feeling goosebumps rise on his arms when Michael's warm breath was on his neck.

Then the backdoor slid open and Gavin gasped as he opened his eyes. He looked over to see Griffon walking in, and she also seemed to gasp at the sight. Gavin was sputtering out words that neither Michael or Griffon understood, but Michael did have the decency to crawl off of him and clear his throat as he brushed his hair with his fingers.

“Griffon, I didn't... we didn't,” Gavin continued to fail with speaking that Michael finally just patted him on the thigh, giving him a look that told him he could stop trying.

Gavin groaned quietly when Michael kept his hand there, but Michael ignored him as he looked at Griffon.

“We didn't know you were here,” he told her.

“I'm sorry for walking in like that,” she said. “I didn't mean to,” she smiled lightly, “ _interrupt_ anything.”

Michael choked back a laugh as he shook his head. “Nope. You didn't.” He turned to Gavin. “Right, Gav?”

Gavin grabbed the throw pill and set it on his lap, making Michael pull his hand away finally. Gavin shifted a little and shook his head.

“No,” he muttered. “Of course not.”

“Aw well, how was school then?” Griffon asked and Gavin's eyes widened slightly. It was as if she was purposely testing him, because she _knew._

“Fucking terrible,” Michael answered, sounding so calm. How did he even manage to do that every time they were caught in this sort of situation?

“Y-yeah, terrible,” Gavin agreed, nodding his head like it was some bobble one.

Griffon squinted her eyes a bit at him. “Anything interesting coming up?”

“W-what?!” Gavin squawked out, his mouth wide open that Griffon furrowed her eyebrows. She didn't understand what was so alarming about what she had asked.

“It's a simple question, Gavin.”

Now Michael was also looking at him, waiting for him to say something. Gavin let out a weak laugh and averted his eyes.

“No to your question,” he said, avoiding eye contact with both of them.

Griffon grinned and nodded. “Well, I think I'm done bothering you boys. I will be upstairs if you need me.”

“Okay, later Griffon,” Michael told her, waving as she started to walk off and he watched as she went up the stairs. He listened to her footsteps get further and further away before facing Gavin again. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Because he couldn't even pretend to let that odd behavior slip by without an answer.

“I have a problem,” Gavin replied, his teeth clenched. He didn't even want for Michael to respond to that; he merely jumped up from the couch, letting the pillow fall out of his lap and onto the floor without a care, and hurried towards the staircase.

Michael faced downwards as he snickered. Ray had given up completely on sleeping and decided to head to the living room, because he had to talk to Michael. On his way down, he almost ran into a rather frustrated Gavin, but of course, they ignored each other and went on their ways.

The good thing was that it meant Michael was alone. Ray saw him sitting on the couch and smiled as best as he could while heading over to him.

“Michael, I have a problem,” he spoke.

Michael looked over to see him standing there, a forced smile already losing its place on his face. “Oh, god. You too?” He asked Ray.

Ray blinked, smile now officially gone. “What do you mean?” Michael suppressed another laugh as he shook his head.

“Uh, never mind. Your problem is probably _completely_ different.” Then his eyes widened. “Oh, shit... is it...” The way he trailed off was enough for Ray to understand what he was getting at.

“Oh, no no no _no_.” Ray shuddered. “Not about that. At all. I've been... _better_ about that since I talked to you. So I think I can be better after talking to you about this.”

“Alright, go on,” Michael gestured towards the empty spot next to him on the couch and Ray happily walked around his front to sit down there.

“I _might_ like someone,” he started, “someone I'm not really supposed to like, which sucks, because I finally have an interest in someone and it's not even right.”

“What's stopping you?”

“A lot, but the main thing is that they're already with someone else, and it's weird. I don't _want_ to like them. It just happened. I don't know what to do now. I've tried ignoring it ever since I began having these stupid feelings, but how the hell am I supposed to do that when the person keeps being fucking awesome all the time?”

Michael couldn't stop the smile that formed on his face, his mind momentarily going to Gavin, but he shook that thought away. “You can't ignore something that's real,” he told Ray. “That's basically what I always tried to do, but reality just kept hitting me in the face – literally,” he laughed softly and Ray gave him a sad smile.

“I know it will never happen,” Ray said, “And I think I'm okay with that, but man, I just... I can't believe this is happening to me. God damnit. Have you ever felt this way?”

Michael sighed deeply. He opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by Geoff calling out, “I'm home!” and slamming the front door behind him. Michael was actually relieved, though. He and Ray stood up to greet him and Geoff's face lit up when he saw the two.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Geoff.”

“Got anything fun going on for this weekend?” He asked as he took off his jacket.

“Uh, Miles is coming over tomorrow to hang out, but today, I got nothing,” Ray answered with a shrug.

Michael looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Well, hey, there's a football game tonight and since I'm friends with one of the players, I'm kind of obligated to do,” he paused to roll his eyes and Geoff chuckled. “Anyway, wanna come with me?”

Ray wrinkled up his nose. “I was bored the last time I went to do that, so nah, I think I'll pass, but thanks.”

Michael nodded. “Alright, but like I said, I do have to go, so I'm gonna go ahead and get ready for it,” he patted Ray on the arm and headed off towards his room upstairs.

Geoff turned to Ray with a smile. “You and I can think of something fun to do tonight.”

“Like what?” Ray asked, sounding genuinely intrigued because anything but a football game seemed fun.

“I was hoping you could come up with the ideas on your own.”

“Oh, of course,” Ray grinned.

* * *

 

The football game was like any other game Michael had gone to, except this time, instead of indulging himself in the game and pretending he understood every single thing that was going on, he was quiet. He got up a few times to use the restroom or grab something to eat, but other than that, he was sitting still and not paying any attention to the game. Kyle and Chris were too distracted to notice how off Michael was at first by going on with the act of “understanding”, but as soon as excitement seemed to cool down, they were turning to look questioningly at Michael when they saw he was merely silently munching on nachos. Michael was going to ignore them, but he could _feel_ their eyes burning into him.

“Alright, what is it?” He asked, not holding back the bitterness in his tone.

“I could ask _you_ that,” Kyle told him, crossing his arms.

“Yeah,” Chris joined in. “The most you've said to us since we got here was 'You guys hungry?'” Kyle nodded in agreement to that before reaching over and stealing a chip from Michael's plate.

“It's Gavin,” Michael said in defeat, setting the plate down next to him on the bench.

“Oh. What happened?” They both questioned.

“Nothing bad,” Michael assured him, but then he sighed. “Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. He just... he's all over me, and I don't hate it. Actually, I like it, but what I don't like is that I can fucking _see_ the affection in his eyes every time he looks at me. I don't even know what the hell to say or do half the time. He barely told me yesterday how he feels and I'm already freaking out. Knowing he feels this way about me, i-it's what I've been wanting, you know? But now what? We move forward, don't we? But moving forward is a relationship. A relationship with _me_. I don't know what to do.”

Kyle and Chris exchanged looks before returning their gaze to Michael.

“I know how you were telling us today at lunch that you feel like you're going to mess things up,” Kyle started.

“It wouldn't be the first time,” Michael mumbled.

“If you really feel like you aren't ready for a relationship, then you don't have to get into one with him.”

“But it's what he _wants._ _Fuck,_ I-I care about him more than I've ever cared about anyone else. Finding someone was always the least of my worries, actually it was never anything that crossed my mind, but he... I _like_ him, so much,” he squeezed his eyebrows together and looked down at his hands. “And that scares me. I wanna be... good for him, because he wants-”

“Stop thinking about what he wants,” Chris cut him off, surprising him. “Sometimes, Michael, you need to think about yourself. _You_ matter too.”

“Yeah, Michael. You can't just do something you don't want to do because someone else wants it,” Kyle added.

Michael groaned. “So what do I do?”

“You don't stress yourself out about this, for starters. Just take it easy. Not everything has to happen all at once.”

“I just don't want to disappoint him.”

“You won't.”

“And how can you be so sure?” Michael asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked at his friends.

Chris' lips curled into a somewhat flirty smile as he said, “You haven't disappointed us.” He gestured towards Kyle and Kyle gave Michael a thumbs up.

“Well, thank fuck for that.”

Kyle and Chris laughed as they shook their heads and Michael couldn't resist smiling at them.

“We're serious, Michael,” Kyle said after he was done laughing. “Stop worrying and relax.” Everyone in the stands around them jumped up from their seats, making their bench shake slightly. Kyle looked out in the field. “Blaine did something! Woo! Yeah, Blaine!” He shouted as he also stood up to cheer, followed by Chris.

Michael's smile fell a little, but he decided they were right. Maybe he didn't need to think about this now, but he also wasn't going to let things get serious with Gavin without talking about it first. There was so much they needed to discuss, but it would have to wait until a little later, although he told himself it would definitely happen before the weekend was over.

He slowly got to his feet and started clapping as he spotted Blaine on the field, and that was enough to bring his smile back.

 

 


	35. Thirty-five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was practically already written out in the outline, so I just decided to finish it up and post it. Song for the chapter is "I Was Wrong" by Sleeperstar. It is on the playlist.

For Lindsay, Saturday began at the house with her lounging around her bedroom with Barbara sitting on the floor against her bed and Arryn sprawled across her pillows. Kara was out of the town for the weekend while Meg was stuck at her house with her cousins. It was nearing two in the afternoon and they were starting to run out of things to say.

“We should go out and do something,” Barbara suggested.

“What would we do?” Arryn asked and Barbara groaned.

“Damnit. I don't know.”

“We could go for a walk and see if anything interesting is going on around here.”

Barbara shook her head. “That's how people end up missing.”

“We could ask Griffon or Geoff to give us a ride to somewhere.”

“What if I told you I'm just too lazy to get up?”

“We'd say we know,” Arryn teased, waggling her eyebrows when Barbara looked up at her. She then got up from Lindsay's bed and held her hand out for Barbara to grab. “We should still go out and do something if there really is nothing to do here.”

Lindsay stuffed her phone into her pocket and was up in her feet within seconds. “I vote we go see a movie. We just go there and watch whatever is about to start playing.”

“Doesn't matter what movie it is?” Barbara asked.

“Nope. Then afterwards we can talk about how horrible or good it was.”

Barbara inhaled sharply and let it out loudly before grabbing Arryn's hand and getting herself up to stand. “This could either be the best plan we've had in a while or the worst.”

“I guess it'll depend on which movie we end up stuck with,” Arryn told her, the two intertwining arms as they followed Lindsay out of her bedroom and down the stairs.

Lindsay headed into the kitchen first to see Geoff pouring himself a glass of juice. He smiled and lifted the cup.

“Want some?”

“No, but I actually did come in to ask for something else,” Lindsay smiled sweetly that Geoff set the glass down and raised his eyebrow, waiting for her to go on. And she did with little hesitation. “Can we have a ride to the movies?”

“And possibly some extra movie for snacks,” Barbara said softly, hiding behind Arryn a bit.

Geoff kept his eyebrow raised as he looked at the three girls, but they were all simply looking at him with the most innocent expressions that he couldn't say no. “Yeah, sure, let me just go to tell Griffon where I'm going.”

“Ah, thanks Geoff! You're the best,” Lindsay told him, moving out of the way so he could walk passed her.

“Oh, come on. Tell me something I don't already know,” he joked.

The doorbell rung and Lindsay hurried to go answer it, but Ray stopped her by running down the stairs and shouting, “I got it!”

“Expecting someone?” She asked him.

“That would be right,” he said once he reached the door and promptly opened it. The corners of his lips rose high as he spotted Miles on the other side. Miles returned that smile, ending up brighter than Ray's was, but that wasn't something to be surprised about with him.

“Miles?” Arryn marveled, causing Miles and Ray to break eye contact as he turned to face her.

“Arryn!” He sounded so excited, as though he hadn't seen her in weeks, although he had _just_ seen her the night before. He walked fully into the house and so very ungracefully wrapped his girlfriend into a tight embrace.

Barbara nudged Lindsay and Lindsay smiled at her with furrowed eyebrows, baffled as to why she was acting like this was the first time Miles and Arryn had shown affection for each other. She didn't question it, though; she just nudged her back. Ray, on the other hand, stood quietly aside after closing the front door.

“I didn't know you were coming over today,” Arryn spoke as she and Miles pulled apart from their prolonged hug.

“Oh, yeah. Ray and I decided to spend today playing some games together,” Miles smiled over at Ray and Ray nodded when Arryn looked at him.

“Miles thinks he can beat me at any game, so I'm putting his challenge up to the test,” he explained.

“Right when we're about to head out is when you guys decide to do something cool,” Lindsay whined, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, where the hell was this challenge an hour ago?” Barbara asked them.

“Don't blame me; blame Miles for taking forever to get his ass over here,” Ray responded, pointing at the latter.

Miles gawked at him for a moment before shaking his head at the girls. “My mom told me I couldn't leave until I was done cleaning my room and it kind of took longer than I expected it to.”

“Why would you expect it not to take long?” Ray asked. “Your room is fucking mess.”

“I know! Last time I was there, I almost lost everything I brought with me,” Arryn confessed. “Luckily I didn't forget to take my phone off silent after school and I managed to find it before I had to leave.”

“It would have been found eventually either way,” Miles argued.

“ _Eventually_ ,” Arryn and Ray both repeated, but amused with the fact that they had said it at the same time, they looked at each other and laughed.

“Wow, I _just_ now realized why it makes so much sense for Ray to be your best friend and Arryn to be your girlfriend,” Barbara said to Miles.

Lindsay nodded. “Yeah, they're basically the same person.”

“Alright! Let's go,” Geoff spoke, clapping his hands together as he approached the group. He grabbed his car keys on the way there and stopped when he noticed Ray and Miles. “Oh, you boys wanna come along to?”

“No, we already have plans,” Miles answered. Ray didn't say anything, but if he was being honest, he was relieved Miles said that instead of agreeing to join them.

“Okay, well, if you're still here by the time I get back, I'll see you then, but if not, I'll text you later,” Arryn told Miles, leaning up a bit to kiss his cheek. Miles and Ray moved out of the way to allow all of them room to walk out. They waved at each of them, telling them to have fun, and Ray happily shut the door after Geoff had stepped out. He turned to Miles with a smug smile and asked, “Ready to get your ass beat?” He started heading towards the living room and Miles scoffed.

“Well, pfft, ready to regret saying that?”

Ray halted in his tracks and glanced at Miles over his shoulder. “Ooh, _good_ one.” But Miles merely shrugged and started walking towards the couch.

 

* * *

 

Michael's Saturday had consisted of being at Chris' house while Blaine and Kyle were out getting food. In the morning, Gavin had kept on throwing hints that suggested he wanted to spend the day with Michael, and Michael felt a little bad that he had purposely ignored those hints. He did want to hang out with Gavin, because being around him always made him feel good, but with his mind constantly reminding him of what he didn't want to think about, he couldn't. So the second Gavin was about to come out and simply tell Michael what he'd been subtly trying to say all morning, Michael cut him off by saying he was about to head out.

“Oh, you are?” Gavin had asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, uh, Chris asked us yesterday after the game if we wanted to go over to his place to hang out, because he didn't get to stay and celebrate the win with us,” Michael lied. Well, he didn't lie about the win, because their football team had managed to win – barely, though – but he lied about the second part and now he needed to get out of the house.

“Ah! Well, hope you have a good time, then,” Gavin said with a smile as he walked away from him and Michael was glad Gavin actually didn't seem upset at all.

He ended up texting Chris and asking if he could come over, which led to Chris inviting Blaine and Kyle, and Blaine and Kyle decided to meet up together first to grab food for all of them. So now here was Michael, sitting on the couch with Chris as they waited.

“Uh, did anything happen between you and Gavin?” Chris hesitantly asked.

Michael sighed and shrugged. “Not really, but I guess that's because I haven't been letting anything happen.”

Chris blinked and sat up a little. “Do you mean you're... avoiding him?”

“What? No. I'm not doing that,” but Michael had to pause to think it over. “Or _am_ I doing that? Fuck. I don't even know. I talked to him a little when I got home last night. Uh, it was a short conversation about the game, but he could barely keep his eyes open, so I told him good night and that was that until this morning-”

“When you lied and said you had plans,” Chris finished for him, smiling knowingly and Michael rolled his eyes.

“How the hell did you know that?”

“You're not the type to just randomly ask if you could come over. I kind of assumed it had to do with him.”

Michael's eyes widened. “So I _am_ avoiding him?”

Chris nodded. “I think the saddest part is that you didn't even realize you were doing it, but don't feel bad!” He turned his body to face Michael better and he held his hands up.

“I kind of don't, just because I don't think he thinks I'm avoiding him,” Michael told him, “but if he knows, then fuck me.”

“If that's what will make you feel better, then I'll think about it.”

Michael stared at Chris, momentarily confused as to what he meant by that, but when he got it, he groaned and shook his head. “Shut the fuck up,” he mumbled. Chris just smiled at him as the front door opened.

“We're here and we brought the good stuff,” Blaine said as he walked into the living room, holding up the paper bags proudly.

“Do you do that everywhere you go, Blaine? Just _walk_ in?” Michael asked.

“Chris deserves people just walking into his house if he's gonna keep it unlocked like that when his parents aren't home.”

Chris didn't even argue with that. As Blaine and Kyle headed to the dining room to set the bags down, Chris started looking for a good movie they could watch. Michael debated whether to stay there and say something else about Gavin, but then he decided on joining the others to sort out the food instead.

And since Gavin's plan on spending the day with Michael fell through, his Saturday was filled with him simply in his room and on his laptop. It wasn't his ideal thing to do, but it kept him entertained since Kdin was busy for the day, and it also made the hours fly by faster than he expected. He had heard Geoff and the girls leave and he heard them return in what felt like an hour, though checking the time, he found that around four hours had passed. By that time, he was hungry and went ahead and left the comfort of his bedroom to get something to eat.

Michael returned home around eight after dinner had been consumed and put away, but he didn't mind. He ended up eating more than he should have with his friends anyway. He went upstairs after greeting everyone he saw downstairs and paused a little when he saw Gavin's bedroom door open. He took a deep breath and peeked inside to find Gavin sitting down, ear buds in, but he took them out when he noticed Michael.

“Hey,” Michael greeted softly.

Gavin couldn't even help but smile. “Hi, Michael. How was your day?”

“Awesome. Yours?”

“Boring as hell, but relaxing, I guess.”

Michael nodded. “T-that's good.” Gavin furrowed his eyebrows, noticing the obvious stutter in Michael's words.

“Are you alright? You seem really off,” he pointed out.

Michael swallowed hard and nodded. “I'm fine.” He was going to turn away and leave, although it felt wrong to just walk away like that. He walked over and sat down next to Gavin and before Gavin could say anything about it, he wrapped his arms around him. Gavin didn't make a move of returning the hug at first, but as he felt Michael bury his face in the crook of his neck, he smiled a little more as he held him.

 _I'm so sorry, Gavin,_ Michael thought, yet he didn't dare say it out loud.

He didn't dare say it out loud because he couldn't. Not yet. He needed more time. Perhaps the entire night. He gave Gavin a gentle squeeze before getting up and heading towards his own room. Ray was in there, occupied with his phone, but he gave Michael a quick greeting and Michael simply smiled at him.

As he lied down on his own bed and stared up at the ceiling, he thought to himself how much he didn't want to hurt the one person he really cared so much about.

 _I need to stop this, don't I?_ And it was such a shame, too. He had only started talking to Gavin again and he was already probably going to ruin it.

Too indulged in his own thoughts, he didn't even hear when Ray got up and left to brush his teeth. He hardly heard Ray mumble a goodnight to him. He couldn't even remember when he finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, but did it matter? That sleep felt like it hardly lasted. He cringed when sunlight hit his face the next morning and somehow, he was able to grab his phone and open his eyes to check the time. It was only eight.

Michael licked his lips and looked up at the sound of soft snoring; Ray was definitely still deep in his sleep. He made sure to be as quiet as he possibly could as he got up from his bed and headed out of the room. His heart picked up its pace the closer he got to passing by Gavin's door, and he would have walked by without a problem, except the doorknob turned and he found himself stopping to stare. The door opened to reveal Gavin slowly walking out, rubbing his eyes and yawning. His hair was even more of a mess than it usually was and Michael couldn't get himself to look away.

When Gavin put his hands down and noticed him, he gasped quietly. “Michael,” he breathed out.

“Morning, Gav,” Michael greeted, forcing a smile on his face.

Gavin returned the smile, except his looked completely genuine. “Excuse me, love, I'm going to use the bathroom-”

“Can we talk?” Michael was suddenly interrupting him, and he wasn't sure why. He knew this wasn't the time to talk about this, but something in him wasn't letting hold it in any longer.

Gavin blinked and tilted his head slightly. “Can I use the bathroom first?” He asked.

“Y-yeah I'll wait in your room or...”

“Sure, Michael. Go ahead.” Gavin smiled at him one more time before walking over to the bathroom.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and headed into Gavin's room. Something about being in there was a bit comforting and he sat down carefully on his bed. Really, what was he doing? He could easily walk out and figure things out later. But... part of being in a relationship meant honesty, and here was Michael, wanting to take that step. He did want something with Gavin; he couldn't have anything if they didn't talk about this first though.

When Gavin returned, he closed the door behind and looking back at Michael, Michael could see he was desperate for more sleep.

“Can we sleep for an hour and then talk?” He asked, fighting back a yawn. Michael smiled and Gavin went ahead and crawled onto his bed anyway.

“I just need to get this out, Gav,” Michael said quietly.

“Mm'kay. I'm listening,” although it sounded more like Gavin was already falling back asleep.

Michael licked his lips and sighed. “Gavin, the night we got drunk together, you told me something that I can't forget, because it made me realize how much I care about you.”

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows as he lifted his head off his pillow. “What? I _said_ something? Why didn't you tell me then?”

“Because you didn't remember and I thought, maybe you didn't mean it.”

“Well, what _did_ I say?”

Michael closed his eyes as he thought back to it. “You told me that I make... that I...” he cleared his throat, “that I make everything better, that I make you happy.” Gavin's lips twitched up.

“You do,” he whispered.

Michael shook his head. “I never stopped thinking about that. I couldn't even when I tried, and believe me, I did. You told me something no one else has ever said to me and then you just... you just fucking _ignored_ me after all of that blew over,” he turned his head to look at Gavin better, “You acted like I never mattered to you.”

“Michael-”

“Why did you do that? I didn't do shit to you-”

“I told you, Michael, I didn't know how you felt. I wasn't sure if it meant anything to you-”

“Well, it did!”

“I know that _now._ I didn't know back then, because _somebody_ didn't tell me!” Gavin was sitting up now, the tiredness he felt in his eyes slowly fading. 

Michael took a deep breath. “I'm not great with words,” he mumbled. 

“That's fine.”

“No, it's not, Gavin. You don't get it, okay? You don't get how I feel about you and how that scares me.”

Gavin's expression softened. “Scares you?” Michael nodded and everything else could have gone differently, but Gavin laughed. He fucking laughed. 

“What's so funny?” Michael asked, holding back any anger that was threatening to come over him. 

“Because you,” Gavin said, holding out his hands towards him, “ _Scared_? I don't get it. Why would you be scared?” Michael's eyebrows twitched together as he got up from the bed so fast that Gavin flinched. 

“Why are you making it sound like it's the _stupidest_ thing you've ever heard?” Michael asked him. He was still attempting to hold back any sharpness in his tone, but the attempts were becoming useless. 

Gavin shook his head. “No... it's not. I just-”

“I'm not _fucking_ kidding, Gavin. This is how _I_ feel, but apparently that's a fucking joke to you, right?” 

“No! It's not-” but Michael was out of there before he could hear the rest of what Gavin was trying to say. Gavin was gaping at the door, feeling confused about what had just occurred, but he wasn't going to let it end there. He jumped out of bed and ran out. 

“Is this what's been bothering you?” He asked when he spotted Michael walking down the hall. 

Michael halted in his tracks, though he didn't bother looking at Gavin. “Yes,” he answered.

“If I knew it would have bothered you this much, I wouldn't have said anything to you. I didn't know liking me was such a weight on your shoulders.”

Was he actually serious? Michael groaned and turned around, any care he had about keeping his anger down now gone. “It's not, you fucking idiot!” He snapped. Gavin frowned.

“Don't call me that,” he sounded small.

“Just leave me alone, Gavin,” Michael turned away, but Gavin was talking again.

“ _You're_ the one that wanted to talk and now I'm not done, Michael.”

“Well, I'm done listening.”

“You're such a bastard!”

Michael wrinkled up his nose, glaring at Gavin. “Am I?” He asked through gritted teeth.

“Yes!” Gavin shouted, practically stomping his foot. “I mean, Michael, I appreciate you coming to me to tell me all of this – I do! But why do you have to shut me out like this afterwards?” Michael gasped softly and shook his head.

“I'm not... no, I'm not doing that. I-I'm not shutting you out,” he defended himself, “I-I told you things that I didn't think I could.”  
“Okay, yes, that you're scared... scared of your feelings for me-”

“No, well, yes, but I think it's... it's more than that. I just,” Michael trailed off, his eyes starting to burn. “I just don't think we should,” no, he could do this. He had to say something, even if he did regret it later. Honesty mattered... honesty... honesty... “I don't think... I-” Michael broke eye contact with Gavin, his lower lip beginning to quiver slightly.

“Wow,” Gavin breathed out a laugh, folding his arms over his chest, “You really believe we're destined to fail, don't you?”

Michael brought his hand up to wipe his eyes and after taking in a deep, shaky breath, he answered, “Yes,” with little to no hesitation.

Gavin put his arms down as his jaw slowly fell open. “What- y-you _do_?”

“I think _I'm_ gonna fail,” Michael clarified, bringing his eyes up to look at Gavin's. He couldn't recall ever seeing such a mixture of hurt and confusion.

“But you won't even...” Gavin took a few steps forward and stopped when there was only a small space left between them. “Michael, I... I love you.” Michael could have sworn his heart momentarily stopped right before it started racing wildly in his chest.

“Gavin...” he spoke, though it was hardly a whisper.

“Yeah, Michael, I love you, and I don't care what happens, because...” Gavin finished talking when he saw Michael shaking his head. It didn't matter what Gavin said; it wouldn't convince Michael of anything. “Well, this was a _great_ way to start my day.”

“It wasn't supposed to go this way.”

“Oh, so you WEREN'T going to tell me that we couldn't be a thing?!” Gavin's sudden rise in his voice had Michael taking a step back and had the pounding in chest begin to ache.

“Gavin-” He tried to speak, but Gavin wasn't letting him.

“I do love you, Michael, I do! But I wish I _didn't,_ because this is just a waste of my time,” and with that, he scoffed and ran into his room, slamming the door behind him.

“Alright! What the hell is going on up there?” Michael heard Geoff call from downstairs, but he was too speechless to even respond. Geoff mumbled something else, probably to Griffon, and then Michael could hear him begin to walk up the steps. By the time he made it to the top, Michael was hugging himself, tears running down his face.

“Michael,” he said, concerned. “Hey, buddy, what's wrong?” Michael looked down, but he knew Geoff was approaching, so he turned away and shook his head.

“No, go away,” he cried softly.

A door opened, his bedroom door, and he saw Ray peeking out. “What's going on?” Ray asked. There was another door that opened, he assumed it was Lindsay, and then she spoke, proving him right.

“Is everything okay?” She asked Geoff and Michael pushed through Ray to get back into the room, not wanting to deal with any of their questions.

Ray watched as Michael crawled into his bed, covering himself with his sheets until he couldn't even see him anymore, but he could hear the small whimpers. He frowned and looked at Geoff and Lindsay who were still standing in the hallway, but instead of telling them anything, he just shrugged and closed the door as he walked back into the room.

 

* * *

 

No one mentioned it the rest of the morning, although it was evident they were all thinking about it. Gavin and Michael did their best with not getting into each other's way, though it was almost impossible when they kept ending up in the same rooms at the same time. Ray wanted to ask Michael what had happened, but he decided against it when he noticed just how upset Michael appeared to be. The last time he had seen Michael with such an expression was probably the first day he met him and he hated the thought of Michael being too upset to speak to anyone. Yet, he knew it wouldn't do any good to try and cheer him up. Michael liked having his time to cheer himself up.

Geoff, however, always did his best to cheer any of them up, and his plan felt full proof. It was just passed five when Griffon found him standing around in the kitchen with a notepad in his hand and a pencil in the other.

“Looking for clues, Steve?” She asked. Geoff smiled at her.

“Ha-ha. No, I'm actually writing down a few things I have to get at the store,” he told her.

“Things for what?”

“We used to always have family nights on Sundays and now it's Sunday again and since it seems to be really upsetting here today, I figured it'd be nice for family night to make a comeback.”

“Are you sure? I think family night should make a comeback when everyone is in the mood.”

“This might bring them into the mood.”

Griffon sighed and nodded. “It could. Okay, how about I drive? I was going to go out and grab a few things anyway.” Geoff finished scribbling the rest of the ingredients he would need and shut the notepad.

“Then let's go?”

“You lead the way,” Griffon said as she gestured towards the front door. The two walked together towards it and Griffon paused as she turned the doorknob. “Kids! We'll be back soon! Take care!”

“See you later, guys!” Lindsay called back, being the only one that did.

Griffon looked at Geoff, slight worry in her eyes and Geoff shook his head.

“It'll work out, just watch,” he assured her. Griffon smiled and followed him out.

Gavin opened the door and slowly stepped out of his bedroom. He checked down the hall towards Ray and Michael's bedroom, but the door was closed and the light was on. He hadn't heard anyone walk down or up the stairs in a while so he knew they both had to be in there. With his textbook and binder tucked underneath his arm, he headed down into the living room.

Homework felt like the last of his worries at the moment, but it was important and he wanted to get it over with. The decision to do it in the living room came when he found himself thinking more about Michael and their argument from the morning more in there. He hoped having TV as a background noise would help ease his mind.

Gavin sat down, sighing deeply as he opened up his binder and rested it on the coffee table. He only had a few pages to read and then a worksheet to fill out. He could finish this in no time. Once the TV was turned on and a channel was selected, he settled into the couch with the textbook open in his lap.

“ _It wasn't supposed to go this way.”_

“ _Oh, so you WEREN'T going to tell me that we couldn't be a thing?!”_

Gavin curled up a little more, frowning, because everything continued to replay itself over and over. Apparently it didn't matter where he was; he just simply couldn't stop thinking about it. He took a deep breath and looked down at the page he was on. He began to read, or rather, skim, through it, because by the time he reached the bottom, he was so unsure of what he really read.

“Bollocks,” he muttered, going back up to read it again.

“ _You really believe we're destined to fail, don't you?”_

“ _Yes.”_

Gavin swallowed hard and shook his head, continuing to read. He was doing fine for a while, able to get through the page while keeping the information with him, but then he found himself thinking back to different things – good things.

“ _Because for some reason, I don't mind being around you_ too _much.”_

“ _You're not so bad yourself.”_

“ _Yeah?”_

“ _Absolutely.”_

The corners of Gavin's lips rose as he looked up and let himself remember that night. He could still recall the butterflies he felt running wild in his stomach, because he had finally realized his feelings for Michael. He could still feel the way Michael's lips moved with his; it was the second time they kissed. It was so new and exciting to them, unknowing of what was going to happen between them, but not even worrying about it, because all that mattered was that they were with each other and making everything around them feel easier, and it was everything Gavin wished they could have now.

Why was everything so different now? That moment was only a year ago, but it felt like more. So much had changed in such a small amount of time and he knew he was to blame. Michael was right; he had ignored him like he was nothing, but he was _something._ He was so much to Gavin.

And Gavin closed his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair.

He just wished everything would stop being so complicated.

 

* * *

 

6:20 PM.

Michael sighed as he got up from his bed and stepped out, not bothering to look at Ray, but Ray was indulged in what he was doing anyway. Michael patted his stomach as he heard it growl, but he wasn't going downstairs for food. He needed to take a walk, to clear his thoughts about everything. He couldn't just stay in this house and feel miserable. On his way towards the door, he heard soft snoring coming from the couch and he turned around.

Ray was in their room and he knew Lindsay was in hers, so that could only mean that it was Gavin. Michael frowned as he began to walk towards him. He peeked over the couch to find him sleeping quite peacefully, his textbook open and flat on his stomach; it rose up and down slowly with his breathing. Michael almost smiled at the sight until he noticed the tears that stained his cheeks, and then he was frowning even more.

“I'm sorry, Gavin,” he whispered, leaning his hand down to caress his cheek and Gavin didn't even stir.

Michael walked over to the sofa to grab the blanket folded on there. He also turned off the TV before carefully placing the blanket over Gavin. He thought about moving his textbook out of the way, but that was risking waking him up, and Michael couldn't handle it if that happened.

But Gavin really did look so calm when he slept – his lips slightly parted and the small noises he was making. Michael leaned down and lightly kissed him on the forehead. He was a bit worried that would have woken him, but Gavin was seriously passed out. With a small smile, Michael made his way back towards the front door. On the way there, he spotted Geoff's car keys on the kitchen counter and raised his eyebrow.

He couldn't deny that he always felt his best when he was driving; it was why his driving lessons with Geoff had been some of the best parts in the past few weeks. It made him put all his attention to it so that he wouldn't think of anything else, and that's what he needed right now. A walk would only help a little, but this way he could get more practice in and feel better about his situation with Gavin.

Michael walked into the kitchen and grabbed the keys, wondering idly if he should just wake up Gavin so they could talk more. Talking hadn't exactly worked out the way he wanted it to in the morning, though, so he figured it wouldn't work now. So he just headed out of the kitchen and glanced back at the couch one more time, feeling something throb in his chest, before opening the door and stepping out.

 


	36. Thirty-six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... as I started writing this chapter, I realized that it wasn't going to be as long as the previous ones were, therefore I managed to finish in time to post it today.

Lindsay rolled onto her back, sighing as she kept her phone pressed against her ear with the help of her shoulder.

“Oh, Barbara, have you ever just had a good feeling about everything?” She asked. “It's like nothing can bring me down these days. Sure there are a few things that could be improved, like things around this house, but I don't know, I feel good.”

“I think I know _exactly_ what you mean,” Barbara responded as she walked over to close her window. Then she furrowed her eyebrows as she thought over everything Lindsay had just said. “Wait, when you mean things at home could improve, you're talking about Ray and Gavin and how they're still acting like they were never best friends, right? Or...” she sighed and frowned, “Don't tell me something else happened, but _did_ something else happen?”

“Yep,” Lindsay nodded, stopping her shoulder from doing all the work by holding up her phone with her hand instead. “This morning, actually. I hardly know what went on, but Gavin and Michael were arguing like crazy, and then they pretty much shunned each other out. It's been awkward here all day.”  
“You should have texted me! You could have came over.”

“I know, but I felt like it was better if I stayed home. I just feel bad seeing them upset.”

“Well, if they were able to start talking again after _months_ of almost complete silence, then I'm sure they can get passed an argument.”

“I don't know, Barb, Gav sounded pretty upset and so did Michael. Besides, they only began talking for like two days before this argument happened.”

“Maybe they just need to adjust to each other again, but slowly, so after they talk this out, things will go back to how they should. Don't worry.”

The corners of Lindsay's rose and she nodded once more, even though Barbara couldn't see her. “Yeah, I know. Like I said, I am feeling _really_ happy these days, so I'm confident things around here will definitely-” She stopped talking at the sound of a ding in her ear – her email alert. She pulled her phone away and hurried to check who had emailed her.

“Definitely look up?” Barbara asked.

Lindsay gasped quietly when she saw it was an email from Mrs. Spencer. “Oh my god,” she breathed, momentarily forgetting she was on the phone with Barbara until Barbara was speaking again.

“What? Lindsay? What is it?” Not able to hear her clearly, Lindsay quickly put her on speaker.

“I got an email from Mrs. Spencer. Did you?”

Barbara furrowed her eyebrows and walked back to her bed to check on her laptop. “Um...” she pursed her lips, quickly going to her inbox. She scrolled down a bit, but every email there were just emails she had already seen and blatantly ignored earlier. “Nope. Didn't get one.”

Lindsay's eyes widened slightly at that, her heart beginning to pick up speed as excitement took over. She tapped on the email and read. She was quiet that Barbara finally grew too curious and had to ask, “What? What does it say?” No answer.

Barbara pouted. “You can't tell me you got an email from Mrs. Spencer and then get all quiet like that. Come _on,_ Lindsay. What did she say? Is it good news? Bad news?”

Lindsay was grinning as she clicked on 'reply'. “Good,” she told Barbara, “The best kind of good.”

* * *

 

Gavin jumped as he woke at the sound of his phone vibrating furiously on the coffee table. He stretched and yawned before noticing the blanket that was now covering him. He was sure he didn't grab it... He titled his head slowly as he pulled it off him and turned until his feet were touching the ground, and he didn't even care when his textbook fell right next to his feet. He rubbed his eyes, feeling worse than he did before he fell asleep. All he wanted to do was sleep more or wake the hell up already.

“Griffon,” Geoff said to her as they stood in line at the market.

“Hmm?” She asked.

“I left my car keys at home, right? I could have sworn I put them in my pockets, because I thought we were leaving in my car, but... now I don't have them here with me,” he patted his jeans to make sure, but nope, nothing.

“Didn't you leave them on our bed? I'm pretty sure I saw them there before I went downstairs to see you.”

“Huh, probably-” He was cut off by the sound of Gavin _finally_ answering his call. “Oh, Gavin! I'm just calling to see if you could do me a favor and check if my car keys are in my bedroom? I thought I had them with me, but now I can't remember where I left them.”

Gavin almost wanted to laugh, because this was not the first time Geoff misplaced his own damn car keys. He got up from the couch and continued to rub one of his eyes as he walked towards the staircase. “Yeah, sure,” he said to Geoff.

“Alright, thanks. Uh, text me when you find them, because I gotta go,” with that, the call ended and Gavin began to trudge up the stairs. As he walked down the hall, he could hear Lindsay talking to someone in her room, but Ray and Michael's room was actually really quiet. He shrugged, though, figuring they were both minding their own business and continued walking towards the master bedroom.

Right as he opened the door, another door behind him opened and he turned around to see Ray walking out. Ray paused to stare at him for a second, but then he just shook his head and hurried into the bathroom. Gavin raised an eyebrow questioningly and unable to hold his curiosity back, he peeked into the shared room and blinked when he found no one else in there.

“Michael?” He called softly, but he couldn't shake the dreadful feeling he was starting to get. He turned back towards the master bedroom and practically ran inside. The car keys were anywhere in sight. He flicked the light switch on and searched around frantically, but no, they weren't where Geoff usually left them – not on the bed, or on the nightstand, or on top of the dresser.

Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat and flinched at the sound of the toilet flushing next door. He rushed out of the room, startling Ray a little and not wanting to worry about something that might not be true, he kept on walking. He took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts until he found Michael's name.

> Gavin: Please tell me you're okay.

When he got to the bottom floor, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves down, because no, he wasn't about to start freaking out. Nothing was wrong... everything was fine... nobody was hurt... it was okay. Worrying wasn't going to help anything. He needed to think positive. Positive thoughts. Nothing negative. Everything was-

Gavin yelped when his phone buzzed in his hand, but he sighed in relief when he saw Michael had replied.

> Michael: Yeah, I'm fucking peachy.

The relief was gone in seconds when something else came to Gavin's mind and he quickly messaged back.

> Gavin: You aren't texting me while driving, are you?

Now he was just thinking negatively.

> Michael: No.

And that was why Gavin needed to push his negative thoughts aside. Michael wasn't stupid.

> Gavin: Okay. Where in bloody hell are you?
> 
> Michael: It matters?
> 
> Gavin: Yes! You took Geoff's car! He's going to be home soon!
> 
> Michael: Wow, I'm so scared. Better get going then.

Gavin rolled his eyes, because he didn't even have to hear Michael's voice to know that was all sarcasm. He tapped his foot impatiently, trying to come up with something to say to make Michael come home, but nothing came to mind. Michael could be so stubborn when he wanted to be and right now was not the time for that.

> Gavin: Please just come back now.

He waited, and waited, and waited... but there was no reply. He groaned as he stomped towards the front door, because he had a pretty good feeling where Michael had ended up at; he only hoped he was right. A part of him had been tempted to tell Geoff and Griffon, because there was no doubt there they were going to figure it out anyway, especially because Gavin still hadn't texted Geoff about the car keys. Not wanting Michael to get into trouble, at least not earlier than he would, Gavin quickly sent Geoff a text saying he found the keys and then quickened his steps towards his destination.

The night air actually felt a bit cold and Gavin regretted not grabbing his jacket before stepping out, but it was too late now. He merely dealt with the goosebumps on his arms and his slightly chattering teeth. He was heading towards the hike trail, the one Michael used to go to when he still hung out with Tim and David – oh those days. Gavin wasn't sure why he had the strong feeling that Michael would be there, but he had no choice but to go with his gut, because other than that place, he had _no_ idea where Michael would go.

And as it started to come into view, Gavin had to stop to swallow hard and _hope_ as much as he could that he wasn't wrong. His hands were getting numb from how cold they were now, but he ignored that and the nerves in his stomach as he walked on. When he spotted Geoff's car parked nearby, he started to find himself running.

Michael was sitting up against a tree, his knees up to his chin as he hugged himself. He was staring up at the sky and didn't even notice Gavin running towards him until he spoke.

“How did I know I'd find you here?” Gavin asked, almost breathless.

Michael closed his eyes and shook his head. “God damnit, Gavin. Go away,” he grumbled.

“No, I'm not going to go away, especially since I consider myself extremely lucky that I found you. So, can you please just come home with me?”

Michael opened his eyes and looked at him. “I'll go home later. I just want to be alone right now where no one will bother me like you are right now.”

Gavin's eyebrows twitched together as he crossed his arms. “Why are you the mad one? I wasn't the one who ended us.”

“That's _why_ I'm mad,” Michael said as he started to get up on his feet. “I'm mad at myself. I fucked up, Gav.”

“Yeah, you did,” Gavin nodded, “You fucked up because you thought you were going to fuck up, which you wouldn't have.”

Michael averted his eyes. “You have so much faith in me, Gavin, and it's worthless,” he shrugged. “I don't know why any of you give me a chance. I'm still just the same kid that came into your lives years ago,” his voice seemed to choke a little there, “I'm still a coward who thinks he's better off on his own and-”

“You aren't _any_ of that anymore, Michael,” Gavin sternly said as he walked a little closer towards him, “I've _seen_ you grown – we all have. We _know_ who you are now and it is not him. You are proof that anyone can get better after the worst has happened. You know, I never knew what happened to Ray that one day he came home acting strange, and maybe I don't need to ever know – that's fine – but I know that ever since you two started talking again, he's been himself, like nothing bad ever happened. You are the reason he's happy again, Michael. _You_ did that.

“I don't think the thirteen year old would have, because he still needed time, but he grew stronger than any of us in the past years. He's helped us all in some way, and now here he is, standing in front of me,” Gavin licked his lips and took another step forward. “You mean a lot to all of us, Michael. We wouldn't be the same without you. I _hated_ you when you first came, you remember that, right?” Michael didn't dare look him in the eyes, but he did nod. “Well, now I can't imagine my life with you not in it. _That's_ why, Michael... _that's_ why I have faith in you, because I-”

“Don't, Gavin. Don't,” Michael pleaded as he shook his head.

“I love you.”

“Stop. God, _Gavin_ ,” Michael turned away as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You... you deserve someone better, okay? I-I can't even love myself. How... how am I...” His silence was enough of an indication that he was on the verge of crying. Gavin frowned as he closed the space between them. He gently turned Michael around and cupped his face, seeing how watery his eyes were becoming.

“You're beautiful, Michael,” Gavin whispered, “And I wouldn't tell just _anyone_ that.” Michael furrowed his eyebrows, but he didn't get a chance to speak because Gavin leaned in and gently kissed him. Michael sighed into it and Gavin wanted to smile, but then he was being pushed back – not roughly, but enough to surprise him.

“I just need to be alone right now,” Michael told him, sounding defeated. “Please. Just for a little while.”

Gavin blinked. “I don't think Geoff will appreciate when he finds out you took his car.”

“Are you gonna tell him?”

“No, but-”

“Then I'll deal with him on my own when I get back,” Michael spoke as he started heading back towards the car.

Gavin merely watched him for a moment before shouting out, “You're just gonna let me walk all the way back there?” Michael paused and looked at him, guilt flashing through his features and Gavin waved him off. “It's fine. I think I'd rather walk anyway.”

“I can-”

“No,” Gavin shook his head. “You go. _Take_ your time, Michael.” He turned around and starting walking off in another direction, leaving Michael to stand there alone and contemplate over going after Gavin or not.

Gavin bit down on his lower lip as he got further away. The dread was coming back and he kept looking over his shoulder, but he fought the urge to go back. Michael was probably long gone anyway. _No negative thoughts. No negative thoughts. No negative thoughts._ But he just could _not_ feel comfortable knowing he let Michael go off on his own like that. 

Maybe he shouldn't have... maybe he should have gone with him. Michael  _was_ starting to offer to give him a ride, so maybe he should have accepted and gotten into the car. At least then he would know where Michael was and even if that meant they would just end up getting yelled at by Geoff when they got home, it would be worth it, because they would be fine, and they would be together. 

“Bollocks,” Gavin said under his breath as he stopped walking. He was about to turn around when the sound of sirens caught his attention. He looked around, but the ambulance wasn't in sight yet, but it was obviously coming down the street he was in and Gavin felt his blood go cold. 

“No,” he told himself. “N-no. Stop _thinking_ that, Gavin. This is a big city. Accidents happen _all_ the time, so what are the odds that it's...” His heart was racing now as the ambulance started to approach. “Michael...” His breathing had also picked up and then, he was running back down the sidewalk, not caring when he almost ran into someone and they yelled at him. 

He was probably panicking over nothing, but the adrenaline rush he was feeling wasn't letting him stop until he knew for sure that he was wrong. He was too frightened to even pay attention to the fact that the only sounds he could hear were of his breathing and the sirens catching up, but it was as if every other sound had disappeared. He couldn't hear the people yelling at him. He couldn't hear his steps on the concrete. But luckily, he did manage to hear the car that honked at him, making him jump out of the way. He hadn't even realized he was about to run through the crosswalk without looking and the person in the car that  _almost_ ran him over flipped him off as they drove away. 

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows, but then he just shrugged and hunched over a little to catch his breath. When the hell was the last time he had ran this fast and this much? He felt sick. The ambulance that practically flew passed him had him standing up right again, reminding him instantly of why he'd been running in the first place. Being close to getting ran over kind of made him forget... 

But all panic was setting back in and he looked ahead where the traffic lights where. A small group of people were gathered around, talking amongst themselves and looking as terrified as Gavin felt. That fear Gavin had tried preventing him to look at the cars, because what if... he didn't want to see, but he had to make sure. He  _had_ to. With a deep, trembling breath, Gavin turned his head.

There were two cars and from the looks of it, the first car had crashed into the other's side and when Gavin recognized that other car as Geoff's, he felt like the whole world had stopped. 

 


	37. Thirty-seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for the chapter is "Say Something" by A Great Big World. It is on the playlist. This chapter contains some mentions of blood and some depictions of a car accident? If that's considered a warning. I'm sorry ;n; I just don't want anyone to be triggered by anything.

After Gavin had walked away, Michael almost went to go get him, to tell him he would drive them both home and they would face any consequences together. But when he took a few steps away from the car, he sighed and shook his head, because maybe it was better if they just left each other alone. Apparently talking only led to fighting and he was tired of arguing with Gavin. He got into the car and slammed the door shut, but for a moment, he just sat there with his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. He glanced at his rear view mirror, almost wishing he could see Gavin walking back to him, but no one was in sight.

Michael frowned and turned the car on. He slowly drove out of there, telling himself not to think so much about Gavin, but driving hadn't helped the way it he wanted it to. Now he had somewhere else he knew he could go to – Chris'. He told Gavin he wanted to be alone, but if anyone could help him in this situation, it was Chris. Chris seemed to be the only one that could talk sense into him.

He got onto the street and headed down towards the direction of Chris' house. He thought about turning the radio on in hopes that music would distract him a little, but just as he was reaching his hand towards it, he heard his phone vibrating on the passenger seat. Michael swallowed hard and came to a stop as the traffic light turned red. He took the opportunity to look over to see who was calling him. He saw 'Geoff Ramsey calling...' on his screen and he wanted to laugh.

“Sorry, Geoff, but I don't think I want to talk to you right now,” he mumbled to himself and the vibration stopped after a moment.

Michael sat back in his seat, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel as he stared at the lights. There was one car in front of him and quite few behind and when the light turned green, he groaned when the person ahead of him took their precious time to start driving. Some of the cars behind began honking until the person in front finally realized it was time to go. Michael rolled his eyes and started to drive off as well, and maybe if that car hadn't taken so long to leave, maybe he wouldn't have ended up being the one who got crashed into.

Or maybe he could have stopped in time, but since he'd been completely focused on facing forward, he didn't see the car heading right towards him from his left until too late – until all he could do was gasp and close his eyes before the impact occurred.

* * *

 

To say Geoff was mad was an understatement. He was _furious._ When he had arrived back at the house with Griffon and noticed his car missing, he practically jumped out of Griffon's car and ran inside, calling out for Michael and Gavin while dialing Michael's number. Lindsay was still on the phone with Barbara, giggling over the fact that she was refusing to tell Barbara what the email from Mrs. Spencer had said.

“Lindsay!” Barbara whined. “Why do I have to wait?”

“Because I promised-” but she was cut off by Geoff shouting.

“ _Michael_! _Gavin_!”

Lindsay sat up abruptly, her eyes widening, because she didn't think she had ever heard Geoff so angry before. “Um, Barb, I gotta go. Geoff sounds really mad. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Oh, okay. I hope everything's okay,” Barbara told her.

Lindsay nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She hung up the call and rushed out of her room to find Ray already running down the stairs to also find out what was going on.

“Where's Michael and Gavin?” Geoff asked Ray, the sharpness in his voice not disappearing anytime soon.

“What? They're not here?” Ray sounded genuinely surprised, which he was, that Geoff gaped at him.

Lindsay descended the stairs as Griffon ran into the house.

“Geoff,” she tried speaking, but Geoff was shaking his head.

“I _cannot_ believe they would do this,” Geoff spoke quietly. He looked at his phone in his hand and sighed. “And Michael won't pick up his damn phone!” The last words came out in shouts that both Ray and Lindsay flinched. The two exchanged nervous looks before glancing over at Griffon, although she appeared to be as worried as they were. Geoff huffed and merely tried calling Gavin next.

* * *

 

Michael opened his eyes slightly, his entire vision a blur. All he could really make out were the traffic lights ahead, but even they just looked like blurs of colors everywhere. His glasses must have fallen off, but he had no idea where they were now. He managed to move his hand a little and after being able to do that he found the strength to sit up, but as he attempted that, he cried out in pain and stopped.

The sound of sirens began to fill his ears and he looked up to find that he was still in Geoff's car, but because of his vision not being fully focused, it almost seemed unrecognizable to him.

And then he noticed something trickling down the side of his face. It almost felt like sweat. He was sweating? Why would he be sweating? He didn't feel hot or anything. He was going to lift a hand up to wipe it away, yet the little energy he had was draining quickly and he let himself close his eyes again as the blaring sirens approached.

He wasn't sure about the next part, perhaps it was his imagination, but he could have _sworn_ he heard his name being called. He could only slightly identify that voice as one he knew so well.

“Gavin,” he croaked out before everything around him disappeared and all he saw was blackness and all he heard was silence.

Gavin made it to Michael's side before the paramedics could. He didn't even know he could run with his knees feeling like jello and his chest heavier than ever, but it happened and all he cared about was touching Michael, to _feel_ that he was alive and breathing. He opened the car door and froze for a second at the sight of Michael lying there in the driver's seat – his lips were parted, eyes shut, and really, if it weren't for the situation, Michael would honestly look as though he was simply peacefully sleeping. The blood that slowly ran down his face from the wound on the side of his forehead made Gavin start trembling with fear again.

“Michael,” he found himself crying out, “What happened?!Please, Michael, this isn't funny!” He heard the paramedics rushing out of the ambulance and he knew they were going to pull him away, but he couldn't. He needed to know Michael was okay _now._ “Say something to me, _damnit_!”His voice cracked slightly with that last word.

Gavin leaned forward and pressed his head on Michael's chest, trying to calm himself down long enough to see if he could feel or hear a heartbeat. And then there it was. Gavin looked up at him, his eyes watering slowly, “Then why don't you just talk to me?! _Michael!_ Wake up! Michael...” he choked out the name before he could no longer hold back the tears.

“I should have came with you,” he cried softly, “Michael, I'm _so_ sorry I let you leave. I'm so sorry-” Then someone was grabbing him by the arm. “No!” Gavin shouted, trying to pull himself free from the paramedic's grip, but it was no use – the other was stronger and was able to move Gavin out of the way.

Gavin wasn't giving up, though. He tried, over and over, to push through them to get to Michael despite the fact that he knew he wouldn't work. One of them told him to stay back so they could carefully get Michael out, but Gavin ignored them completely, not even hearing a single word they said.

“I was coming back for you!” Gavin wailed. “I-I was going, I-I was going to tell you to come home now! _Michael._ I _tried..._ _Michael_!”

“He'll be okay, but you need to-” The paramedic was caught off guard by Gavin almost succeeding in launching forward at Michael, but someone else had run up behind Gavin and wrapped their arms around him to pull him back.

“Why couldn't you just talk to me, Michael?!” Gavin went on, his words coming out in loud sobs. “Why did you walk away? _Why_ did _I_ let you go?! _Why,_ Michael!” The person holding him was telling him something, but Gavin didn't understand, or didn't want to. They were probably trying to comfort him in some way since they kept talking until Gavin shook his head and starting falling to his knees.

The person was slowly letting him go and once Gavin's knees made contact with the ground, the person stepped back from him. Gavin clutched his chest as he looked up to watch the way one of the paramedics was now holding Michael in their arms until another came rushing to their side with a gurney. The most terrifying part of it all was how Michael wasn't even moving a muscle as he was placed onto that stretcher.

Gavin kept inhaling sharply as an attempt to stop himself from crying again, but as he looked behind the gurney and really took in how Geoff's car looked, he broke. The entire driver's side was totaled that if someone wanted to just yank the door off, they could with little force. Gavin hadn't even noticed when he had ran over and opened it, but now that he did, he couldn't handle the sight. He couldn't handle imagining the way the other car crashed into it with Michael sitting there.

A sort of choking noise escaped Gavin and he leaned forward as the hollow he felt in his chest became too overwhelming. As they wheeled Michael towards the ambulance, hands gently touched Gavin's shoulder, but he didn't care to see who it was as he tightly shut his eyes and whimpered quietly.

“We'll make sure he's okay, baby,” the voice almost sounded like Griffon's, but Gavin knew it couldn't be her. Maybe it was because he _wanted_ it to be her. He wanted her there. He wanted Geoff there. He wanted Michael to be open his eyes and speak. “He'll make it. I promise.”

Gavin shook his head, his face scrunched up as the urge to cry out became stronger. “Please,” he choked.

“You can come with us. You can be with him while we go to the hospital, okay?”

Gavin sniffled and tried breathing normally, but it was still so shaky. Then he nodded and allowed whoever it was to help him up to his feet.

* * *

 

Ray, Lindsay, and Griffon were sitting on the couch as they listened to Geoff in the background, going on about how pissed off he was. Like that wasn't already obvious. Lindsay shifted in her seat and Griffon patted her back in a comforting gesture.

“What is the _point_ of having a phone if you aren't even going to answer it!?” Geoff asked no one in particular. Griffon almost smiled. She knew how Geoff was when he was angry, but she also knew how easily he could calm down. She was just about to get up and try to get him to relax when his phone rang.

“Oh, look who's finally calling back!” Geoff shouted, holding up his phone, although no one turned to see. Geoff shook his head as he answered, “Gavin, what the hell! Where-” he stopped talking when he heard Gavin softly crying on the other line. “... Gavin?”

The others noticed the drastic change in Geoff's tone that caused them to turn and look at him questioningly.

“Geoff,” Gavin managed to say, wiping his eyes with the back of his free hand. His breathing wasn't at all steady, but he tried his best to continue speaking, “I-I need... I... need you to come to t-the hospital.”

It was like something had dropped into Geoff's stomach, making him suddenly feel nauseous. “Gavin, what happened?”

Gavin bit down hard on his lower lip, his eyes quickly filling with more tears. “M-Michael... he was in a...” that's the only thing he needed to say for Geoff to know exactly what he meant.

Now Geoff definitely felt nauseous. “Oh, god,” he responded, breathlessly. “Oh, god. Oh, god, Gavin...”

“What's wrong?” Griffon asked, jumping up from where she was sitting. “Geoff? What's going on?” Lindsay and Ray also slowly stood up.

Geoff hung up the phone, unknowing how he could possibly tell the others. He turned to face them, the devastated look upon his face enough to make them nervous.

“We have to go to the hospital _now_ ,” he spoke, his voice sounding uneasy. He practically ran towards the door and Griffon hurried after him.

“Why, what happened?” Lindsay asked.

“Michael was in an accident and we have to go now! Come on!” Geoff was talking so quickly, his words were all jumbled together, but Griffon, Lindsay, and Ray understood him perfectly and they each momentarily froze.

“W- _what_?” Ray was the first to say something. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he stared at Geoff with wide eyes.

Geoff gave him an apologetic look. “We have to go now,” he said again.

Lindsay brought her hand up to her mouth, but she started to follow Geoff and Griffon out until she noticed Ray wasn't moving. She turned back to him and nodded towards the door. “Come on, Ray,” her voice was soft, “Let's... let's go.”

Ray had such a traumatized expression on his face that it made her heart ache more than it already was. She rushed back to his side and wrapped her arms around him, but Ray didn't look at her. He continued to stare at the floor without saying a thing.

“We have to go,” Lindsay whispered, doing her best to hold back the pain she felt. “We have to go.” Ray shook his head slowly and Lindsay merely began dragging him with her. After a moment of that, Ray helped by moving his feet a bit, and soon enough, they were meeting up with Griffon at the door.

None of them knew how long that car ride was, but it felt like an eternity. When they ended up stuck in traffic, they watched as Geoff tried holding it together, but he was tapping his foot rapidly and moving around in his seat. Griffon was pretty much the same way. The color from her face seemed drained and she kept constantly looking out the window as if to attempt to make the cars go away so they could keep on going. Lindsay hadn't let go of Ray; she had her arms around him and he didn't mind a second of it as he rested his head on her shoulder.

When they got there, Geoff parked crookedly in the first parking spot he could find and ran out of the car after quickly turning it off. The others weren't far behind him though.

“Where the hell is he?!” Geoff shouted as he walked inside, frantically looking around. Gavin jumped up from where he sat and turned around to find Geoff, followed by Griffon, Lindsay, and Ray.

“Geoff!” He called, running over to him and Geoff immediately pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Where is he, Gavin?” Geoff asked, now able to feel the way his heart was racing.

“I could have stopped him. I-I didn't stop him. Geoff, he-”

“Gavin, please,” Geoff pulled away a little to cup Gavin's face and Gavin's lower lip quivered. “Calm down, okay? Breathe, just breathe so you can-”

“What do you mean you could have stopped him?” Ray asked bitterly as he stepped forward, a sort of fiery in his eyes. Gavin merely looked at him, his vision blurry and feeling unable to form words. “You mean this is _your_ fault? This could have been prevented?!”

“ _Ray_!” Geoff scolded him, letting go of Gavin to fully turn to face Ray. “Don't you _dare_ put the blame on anyone here! It's not Gavin's fault and it's not Michael's fault! It's WHOEVER the fuck was in that other car!” He started walking towards the front desk. “I know Michael and I know he wouldn't be stupid enough to let this happen! I _NEED_ to know what actually happened! I need to know! Where the _fuck_ is the doctor?!” The receptionist behind the desk simply gave Geoff a sympathetic look, but there was a hint of fear behind her eyes.

“Geoff, honey,” Griffon said as she hurried to his side and wrapped her arms around him.

Lindsay leaned against the wall, her fist up to her mouth as she began to silently cry to herself. Ray slowly sat down in one of the chairs, feeling defeated and helpless. Gavin licked his lips and stepped forward towards him.

“Ray,” he choked out a bit.

“He's gonna be okay... isn't he?” Ray asked, looking up at Gavin with wet eyes. “He's gonna be fine, right? He's...”

Gavin nodded. “Yeah, he is, Ray. He's...” he attempted a smile, but it hardly worked. “He's _Michael_. He'll be okay.”

Ray felt himself ready to break down, but before he could, he got up from his seat and closed the gap between him and Gavin. Gavin wrapped his arms around him, holding him as close as he could, and he closed his eyes when he heard Ray begin to cry into his shoulder. Geoff was ready to walk over to Lindsay to comfort her, but then the doctor finally walked out and Geoff turned all of his attention on him.

“What the fuck is happening?” He asked, and really, he hadn't meant to sound so demanding, but it came out like that anyway. “Where's Michael?!”

The doctor sighed. "You're Geoff Ramsey?"

"Yes!"

“I'm not going to lie, he isn't being very responsive,” at those words, Griffon felt as though the air had been punched out of her, and the doctor frowned. “The other car hit the driver's side and it caused plenty of injuries to him, including his head, specifically this area,” he brought two fingers up to tap a little spot on his forehead, near his eyebrow, “which caused a lot of blood loss, especially when the car-”

“And the other asshole? The one who caused the accident? Are they okay?” Geoff asked, squinting his eyes angrily.

“He only has minor bruises-”

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?” Geoff gritted his teeth as he walked away from the man. He threw his hands up in frustration. “Of course that guy gets to walk out of here with only a few _minor_ bruises, but _Michael..._ Michael has to suffer for this crap!” He stomped his foot and spun back around. “Was the guy drunk? _Huh_? Was the asshole drunk driving? Is _that_ why he crashed into Michael?! Didn't the idiot think-”

“Geoff! Geoff,” Griffon stopped him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly.

The doctor shook his head. “He wasn't under the influence. He just didn't stop driving. They say he was in a hurry, but that is no excuse.”

“You're god damn right that's no excuse!” Geoff shouted and Griffon squeezed his hand again.

Lindsay pulled away from the wall and walked over to Ray and Gavin. Gavin opened one arm to allow her into the hug and Lindsay quickly clutched to him as she cried into his other shoulder. Gavin looked at the adults with pleading eyes. It stung him to see that Geoff and Griffon looked absolutely _miserable,_ but he was feeling the exact same way.

“Can we see him?” Griffon then asked.

“I'll see where he is in a few hours and I'll let you know, but for now, no one should go see him,” The doctor sounded just as upset by this as they all were, and with a nod, he turned on his heel and walked off.

 


	38. Thirty-eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter is "The Funeral" is Band of Horses. It's the song that pretty much inspired me to write this entire fanfic. Oh, but don't let the title scare you. I mean, there's no actual funeral going on in the chapter or anything. It was just the song that sparked it all for me and I listened to it when outlining/writing this specific chapter. 
> 
> TW: This chapter is the one that contains all the warnings. You'll see why. So yes, child abuse, neglect, and bullying.

_Gavin couldn't recall when his father had exactly began to hate him, because that's what it was, wasn't it? His father_ hated _him. Mr. Free had such a short temper, but when did Gavin finally realize that? He always assumed it was his fault, that he was too loud all the time when he wasn't supposed to be. It wasn't because of that, though. Gavin noticed his father drinking from these glass bottles with a green paper on them throughout the day. Gavin called it his father's favorite juice, so when he once grabbed one of daddy's bottles of “juice”, he was stunned that he was yelled at._

_His father had ran into the kitchen, grabbed him tightly by the wrist and_ demanded _Gavin to give him the bottle. Gavin, only being four years of age at the time, cried out and begged his father to let go._

“ _Give me that, Gavin!” Mr. Free practically growled and Gavin obeyed. He held the bottle up for his father to grab with his other hand and once he did, Gavin's wrist was released._

“ _You didn't have to do that,” Mrs. Free calmly told her husband, but she sighed when all he did was glare at her and walk off._

_Gavin covered his face with his hand and curled up on the floor. It was fault, wasn't it? He wasn't allowed to touch his daddy's juice. Gavin never once thought about blaming it for his father's behavior. Then came a time when there was never of that juice around the house. He had heard his mother excitedly telling one of her friends that his father had “quit”. Quit what, though? Gavin wasn't sure what she meant, but she was really happy about it, so he smiled and decided he would be happy, too._

_As the days went on, Gavin couldn't understand why his mom had been so happy, because he thought her being meant things at home would get happier, too, but they didn't. Everything was the same, maybe worse. Mr. Free was more impatient and irritable than before, or if he wasn't, he was quiet and distant from both of them._

_Gavin just wanted to see his dad smile sometimes. Why was he so upset all the time?_

_A year must have passed until the bottles appeared in the house again, but his father wasn't drinking as much as he used to, and he was_ still _mad a lot of the times. It was as if_ nothing _could make him happy. Gavin only relieved he at least had his mother, because she always held him at night until he fell asleep and always had breakfast waiting for him when he woke. There were times when Gavin would wake in the middle of the night to hear her crying in the living, but when he would go to ask her what was wrong, she would shake her head and tell him to go back to bed. Reluctantly, Gavin would, but the imagine of his mother crying haunted him. She deserved to be content._

_When Gavin turned six, Mrs. Free threw him a birthday party, inviting all of his friends over. Mr. Free was out of town on a trip of sorts, or well, that was what his mom told him. At this point, Gavin didn't care. He actually preferred when his dad would leave them alone from time to time, because those days were the days his mom smiled most._

_But during party, he came back unexpectedly and the look of horror on his face was one that made Gavin get up from where he was sitting and hide behind his mother. There was plenty of screaming, plenty of throwing, plenty of crying, but what Gavin remembered most was how his friends were rushed of his house by their parents and how they never talked to him again after that day._

_They were scared to talk to him, to ever_ think _about going back to his house. They didn't want to deal with someone that had such a terrible father. That's when Gavin came to the conclusion that his father hated him. His father hated him and made him lose all of his friends. Maybe his father had always hated him, but he wasn't sure. He told himself not to care, to not cry about it, because he had his mother. His mother loved him and that was something he could never doubt._

_He spent most of his time alone, hidden away in his bedroom to avoid having to face his father. At the end of that year, right before Christmas, his mother tucked him in one night and told him the news._

_They were going to move._

“ _Why?” Gavin asked her. “Where to?”_

“ _Out of this country. We need to start fresh, somewhere completely different,” she explained, but she left out the part where she wanted to be somewhere completely different where no one knew them or of her husband's temper. “Your daddy needs a new start and we're going to be there to help him.”_

_Gavin frowned, but he nodded. It didn't matter. He didn't have any friends anymore anyway. He had no one that would miss him, so without protest, he accepted the news that they were moving. Maybe Mr. Free would change after the move._

_Maybe things would cool down._

_And maybe, just_ maybe _, they would get to be happy for once. Truly happy._

_It was nearing his seventh birthday when everything was packed and set for them to leave, and as they drove away from the house to get to the airport, Gavin never looked back. He was relieved to get out of that dreadful house that only reminded him of the worst times he'd ever been through._

_Their new house in Austin, Texas, was a beauty. It wasn't elegant or a mansion, but it was somewhere_ new _. It was their little safe haven, or at least, in Gavin's eyes it was. And it was, for a while, but a few weeks after his birthday, the comfort the new house had been bringing was gone._

 _Mrs. Free hadn't known, though. She really believed everything was okay that she even began leaving Gavin alone with Mr. Free on some days. Those were the days Gavin would end up on his bed, his face buried into his pillow as he sobbed, because his father had hardly acknowledged, or sometimes if he had, he would have told Gavin to_ fuck _off._

_It took his mother a while to realize the mess her husband was becoming again, but when she spotted the trash can filled with beer bottles, she broke down. She tried confronting him about it, although there was no use, since he never listened or would blatantly ignore her, and if she was being honest, she was too afraid to push it any further than that._

_So, she would stand aside and watch the way he would yell at Gavin from time to time, how he cared about nothing but himself, and she never did a thing to stop it._

_The night she left, she had tucked Gavin into bed and told him she would see him again one day._

“ _What do you mean?” He asked, his eyes barely able to keep open from how tired he was._

_Mrs. Free just leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Gavin wanted to ask her again, but then she muttered something about seeing him in the morning, so Gavin peacefully fell asleep before he could hear her say, “Or not.”_

_Gavin didn't get a full sleep that night. He was awoken by his father screaming and slamming his bedroom door open. Gavin attempted to hide under his covers, but Mr. Free started to drag him out of bed. Gavin did the next best thing he could think of – he grabbed his pillow and hit his father across the face with it, and since his father was unsurprisingly drunk, Gavin was able to escape._

_He shouted out for help, for his mom, over and over until his throat felt like it was on fire and when he thought his father was finally going to capture him, the front door opened and he ran into the arms of the lady that lived next door. She held tightly as her husband came rushing towards her side to also see what was going on. Mr. Free stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of both of them and that was the last time Gavin ever saw him._

_He believed he was destined to be without love, that anyone he cared about would only leave him, just like his mother had, but that's only because he didn't know that meeting Geoff and Griffon Ramsey would be his_ real _safe haven._

 

* * *

 

Barbara ran down one of the halls of the hospital, frantically looking around every seating area until she reached the end of that hall and peeked around the corner to find Lindsay standing around with Gavin, Ray, Geoff, and Griffon.

“Guys! Over here!” She called to Arryn and Kara, waving her hands wildly for them to go to her. Arryn and Kara sighed in relief that they had finally found them and they hurried to catch up with Barbara.

“Lindsay!” They called as they approached the group.

Lindsay turned around just in time for them to practically tackle her, pulling her away from Ray and Gavin.

“You guys actually came,” Lindsay breathed out, wrapping her arms around them as best as she could.

“Of course we did,” Kara said.

“We wouldn't let you go through this alone,” Arryn told her and Lindsay closed her eyes as she felt them tear up again and her friends just hugged her tighter.

“He's going to be fine,” Barbara whispered. “He's going to be fine.”

Ray stayed wrapped in Gavin's arms as they stood aside from the girls, because it was the only way he felt like he wasn't going to completely lose it. He had heard what Barbara whispered to Lindsay and he yearned for her to be right.

 

* * *

 

“Mommy _, but I thought tonight was going to be the night we hung out!” Ray whined, bouncing up and down, ready to throw an actual tantrum._

 _Mrs. Narvaez rolled her eyes and mumbled, “Hold on,” to the person she'd been talking to on the phone. She then squinted her eyes at Ray and said, “Shut up for_ one _second while I finish taking this call.”_

“ _Will you stay tonight with me?” Ray asked, using that pleading tone of his that only annoyed his mom to no end._

“ _No,” she answered sternly before turning away and going back to her conversation. Ray pouted at her, but she was no longer paying him any more attention, so he slowly turned around and made his way to his bedroom. He could hear her laughing, talking about drinking so much that she wouldn't get to remember a thing, but Ray didn't get what she meant by that. Why would drinking something make you forget?_

 _Ray settled onto his bed, grabbing his teddy bear and wrapping his arms around it. It wasn't like this was the first time he would be left alone the whole night, so why was he getting himself upset about it? Oh, perhaps because his mom promised that she would_ stay _for once and not make him feel like he was seriously on his own._

_Whatever. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up like that anyway._

_Mrs. Narvaez left that night without saying goodbye, which was something Ray wasn't particularly used to, but he merely turned over to lie on his side. Maybe if he slept, he wouldn't have to think about the fact that he was by himself._

_If he was being absolutely honest, this was how every night went. His mother would leave and Ray would either try to distract himself by watching TV or go right to sleep where he would wake up in the morning to find Mrs. Narvaez passed out on the couch. He would try waking her, but she would wave him off and tell him to go to school. So he would._

_He would get his things and walk to the bus stop. There he would stand with a few older kids who always rolled their eyes at him or poked him so they could laugh at how he would flinch._

“ _What's the matter?” They'd ask, continuing to be obnoxious by poking him._

_Ray shook his head, looking away. “Nothing,” he answered casually, giving them the idea that he didn't mind their little bullying. Sure he was small and hardly ever talked to anyone but his one friend, but he despised looking weak. Yet he would never dare fight back or hurt anyone's feelings. So when the kids continued to poke fun at him, he would go on pretending it didn't bother him until the bus arrived._

_And that would be the end of it for the day, because the kids in his grade were... friendlier, or rather, better than the others in the higher grades. Then, when Ray would return home, he would either return to his mother still trying to cure her “cold”, or to an empty house. On the days he found it empty, he would find food in the refrigerator, so it wasn't like his mom was letting him starve, but Ray knew that didn't make this any better._

_It was on his sixth birthday that he realized just how much everything about his home situation was affecting him. Mrs. Narvaez didn't remember that it was his birthday until she came home that night to find him sitting on the couch, a cupcake in his hands. His friend had given it to him at school, but Ray had saved it so he could share it with her. As always, though, she was late and he had lost his appetite._

“ _Why do you have that?” She asked, placing her bag on the sofa._

_Ray frowned even deeper, as if it was possible, and looked up at her. “I turned six today,” he barely whispered._

“ _Oh... oh, that's right. Happy birthday, kid,” she walked over and ruffled his hair, like that was going to make everything better._

_After that day, he had stopped talking to everyone. He stopped talking to his friend, even though they tried sticking by his side; he merely pushed them away further. He was quiet unless he was asked to answer something. That went on for a few months, but his teacher started to get very observant of him and was finally able to see the pain behind his eyes._

_One day, while everyone ran out to go to recess, Mr. Castillo told Ray to stay behind for a talk. Ray was a little hesitant, but of course he wasn't going to disobey a teacher. The second the room was cleared out, Mr. Castillo bent down next to Ray, placing a comforting hand on Ray's back._

“ _How are you, Ray?” The question had been so simple, but it struck something in Ray. Ray looked at his teacher with wide eyes. Neither of them said a word, and then Ray was shaking his head._

“ _Terrible,” he choked out, “Very terrible.”_

 _The worst part of it all was how Mrs. Narvaez didn't really seem to mind when Ray was taken from her, and although Ray wanted to run back to her and_ beg _her to beg for him, he didn't. He remained calm and reminded himself that maybe he wouldn't have to feel so lonely anymore._

 

* * *

 

Miles was close to falling on his face when he jumped out of the passenger's seat of his mom's car. Mrs. Luna gasped a little, but she sighed in relief after he managed to regain his balance. He spun around and told her he would call her later to let her know how things were. She nodded and Miles shut the door before turning and heading towards the hospital's entrance. Right as he reached the door, Kdin came to sliding stop next to him that Miles almost jumped back, startled.

He and Kdin merely stared at each other for a moment, but then both of their lips rose up slowly into sad, understanding smiles. Kdin opened the door and allowed Miles to run in first. He and Miles sped through halls, trying their best not to run into anyone and when they finally made it to where everyone was, they stopped to catch their breathes.

Kdin looked back and forth from Ray and Gavin, but as he saw Ray step away from Gavin to wipe his face, Kdin took off towards him. Miles stayed behind and watched the way Kdin pulled Ray into an embrace, one that Ray happily accepted. Miles wanted to smile at the two, but then he noticed the tiredness and devastation on Gavin's face.

“Gavin!” He called as he started walking up to him. Gavin spun around to face him.

“Miles,” he spoke softly and Miles frowned once they were standing face-to-face.

“How's everything going here?” Miles hesitantly asked.

Gavin shook his head, averting his eyes. “Terrible.” And Miles merely hugged him.

 

* * *

 

 _Lindsay had been a bright student, one that was usually talked about amongst teachers, because not only did she show her love for learning, but she was also just the sweetest to all of her classmates. Her teacher never tired of bragging about her to her parents, but Mr. and Mrs. Tuggey would always respond with, “Oh, believe us, we_ know, _and we're so proud of her.”_

_Lindsay didn't want to describe her life as “perfect”, because of course it wasn't – her parents would argue every now and then just as any couple would, and sometimes there was fear of not being able to pay the bills on time – overall, though, “perfect” seemed to kind of fit. No one could ever expect anything to go wrong with her in her life, because bad things didn't happen to good people._

_So no one could have predicted what happened. No one would have ever thought that Lindsay Tuggey, the nicest girl in the school, would lose her parents in a fatal car accident. When she was told the news, she screamed at her teacher,_ begging _to her to say that she was lying, saying a cruel, sick joke, but it was the truth._

“ _No,” Lindsay uttered out, falling onto her knees and covering her face with her hands. “No... Mom... Dad.. Daddy... Mommy. N-no...”_

“ _I'm so sorry, sweetheart,” Mrs. Svendson had said as she bent down to be at eye level with Lindsay. “I'm so-”_

“ _Why?!” Lindsay shouted, putting her hands to reveal a drenched face. “Why would they be taken from me?!_ WHY _?!_ ”

“ _You can be strong, Lindsay, I_ know _you can,” Mrs. Svendson swallowed the lump in her throat at the sight of Lindsay shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut, but she kept talking. She wanted to comfort the ten year old. “You have to be strong for them, you-”_

“ _Shut up!” Lindsay screamed, stunning the teacher. “_ Shut.Up _!”_

“ _Lindsay-”_

“ _You're lying! My parents are fine! Y-you're lying!” Lindsay jumped up on her feet and screamed again when Mrs. Svendson tried grabbing her. “Stop! Don't touch me! You're LYING to me! You're LYING! You're LYING!” By now, everyone outside in the playground could hear her and were looking around, wondering what was happening._

“ _Lindsay, I'm sorry, but-”_

“ _No!” Lindsay cried as she backed away from the teacher, but she was stopped when she hit the wall. “No...” her tone was getting lower as her words became choked, “N-no... Mommy... Daddy...” She slid to the floor again and hugged herself, repeating over and over, “No, no, no...” because all she could think about was that she would never see her mom's smile again, or hear her dad's laugh, or be able to kiss them both goodnight._

_They were gone... just like that._

_But how? Why?_

_She sat in that corner the rest of the day, staring blankly at the floor as tears continued to roll down her face. No student asked her what was wrong or tried to figure it out. Lindsay met Sarah at the end of the day, but she didn't speak or even look at her more than once._

“ _You're going to come with me, okay?” Sarah had told her, but Lindsay didn't respond. She let Sarah grab her hand and lead her towards the car, unsure how she was supposed to even survive now. The first few weeks were the hardest ones; she cried almost every hour of the day, loud sobs that echoed through the halls of the group home and anytime one of the other children tried cheering her up, she would start yelling at them to leave her alone._

 _Getting her to eat was something else they all struggled with making her do. Those first few weeks, all she consumed was water and fruit, maybe even crackers and half a jelly sandwich, but she felt drained and never hungry. Everyone was beginning to worry, but they kept a watch on her, even when she_ swore _that she was okay. She wasn't okay. Every night, it felt as though someone was literally grabbing at her heart and twisting it while filling her thoughts with her parents, with all the beautiful memories she had with them, and it led to some sleepless nights._

_Lindsay did understand that being strong was what her parents would want her to be, but she couldn't. She was her strongest with them, not by herself. She just didn't know what to do to get stronger._

_On one particular night where the thoughts were too much to handle, she got out of bed and walked up to the window. “Mom,” she whispered, “Help me... help me. I can't do this without you. I can't do this without Dad,” she looked up at the stars and sniffled, “I-I miss you. Please... give me the strength I need. Please,” her voice got quieter and quieter as she spoke until she looking down, her eyes closed and her teeth clenched as the urge to cry took over. She fell ended up falling asleep on the floor that night, but when she woke up, things were different._

_She wasn't quite sure if she believed in angels or Heaven, but after that night, she felt safe and..._ okay.

_So around the second month in, she began to eat regularly that everyone thought she was completely better, but then came the day that the details of how exactly her parents got into the car crash surfaced._

_The person in the other car didn't stop. They were supposed to stop, but they didn't. Lindsay thought she wanted to cry after she heard that, but the tears didn't come. She felt something else..._ anger.

_Anger settled deep into her to the point where she would snap anytime someone attempted to “comfort” her or tell her how “better she was doing.” It was only because they didn't understand._

_They didn't understand what it was like to have the happiest life and have it_ ripped _away in the blink of an eye as if it never existed. And a part of her did know that she was being too cruel to people, that she was purposely pushing them away without a chance of trying to get in, but the other part didn't care. The other part didn't want to care. Not anymore._

“ _Is this what it's like to be_ strong, _Mom, Dad?” She shouted at her window one night, four months in. “To not_ feel _anything, right? It's better that way, isn't it? You don't have to_ cry _every time you lose something, because you_ don't _care. That's what it means to be strong... right?” Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the moon. “I don't care anymore. I won't care again, because I'm_ tired _.”_

_She continued isolating herself, not worrying about anything, and it didn't make her feel any better, but it made her feel emptiness, and she decided that was better than feeling pain. Therefore, when the eighth month came around and Sarah told her they got in contact with her uncle's friend, she shrugged._

“ _That's supposed to matter?”_

“ _Lindsay, you'll be able to live with your uncle. Doesn't that sound nice?”_

“ _I don't know. I only met the guy once, I think,” Lindsay shrugged, “Can't remember. I must have been too young.”_

_Sarah sighed, but instead of turning away and leaving, she stayed. “You know, I actually spoke to this lovely couple who've been foster parents for a while now, and well, they have room at their house if you wanted to stay with them. I told them all about you and they wish to meet you.”_

_Lindsay folded her arms across her chest and scoffed. “Okay?”_

“ _Give them a chance, Lindsay.”_

“ _What's the difference between staying with them and just staying here?”_

“ _When you meet them, maybe you'll know,” and with that, Sarah left her alone._

_Lindsay rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed, although, she couldn't deny that the sound of being in an actual home with less kids than she had to deal with there did sound nice._

_However, the day Geoff and Griffon Ramsey arrived, Lindsay kicked those nice thoughts aside and decided she was going to make sure these two wouldn't want to deal with her. She didn't need anyone dealing with her. She was finally fine on her own. Or at least, she thought she was._

_Sarah called her over to meet them and Lindsay held her head up high, ready to put her plan into action, but then Griffon smiled at her, a warm, friendly smile and Lindsay's expression softened._

“ _Hi,” Griffon spoke, holding her hand out, “I'm Griffon and this is my husband, Geoff,” she nodded towards the man standing next to her._

_Geoff waved at her, smiling just as much as Griffon was. Lindsay's eyes roamed over the many tattoos on their arms, her lips parting in amazement before gently taking Griffon's hand and shaking it._

“ _I-I'm Lindsay,” she finally said._

“ _It's nice to meet you, Lindsay,” Geoff told her and there was just something about his tone that made Lindsay's stomach warm up._

_She looked at him and for the first in those eight months, since that horrifying day, the corners of her mouth curled up into a grin. “It's nice to meet you, too.”_

 

* * *

 

Lindsay smiled weakly as Arryn handed her a cup of water, as she turned away to take a sip, her eyes caught sight of Meg running up. Meg saw her, too, and Lindsay covered her mouth with her free hand, already feeling her eyes welling up with tears for the fourth time that night. Meg hurried to her side and immediately wiped the few tears that had escaped Lindsay's eyes.

“I'm so happy you're here,” Lindsay told her.

“Barbara texted me and I got up quickly to ask my dad for a ride here,” Meg said as she began rubbing Lindsay's back comfortably. “Has... has the doctor said anything?” She looked to the other girls at that, but Lindsay was the one who answered.

“The last thing we heard was that...” Lindsay paused to take a deep breath, “was that he's... he's unresponsive.”

Meg's jaw dropped open. “What?”

Kara nodded. “It's his head,” she told her.

“Oh my god,” Meg said under her breath.

“I... I don't think I could deal with... with losing...” Lindsay stopped talking as she shuddered at the thought.

“You won't have to,” Meg whispered and Lindsay nodded, but the fear was still there.

 

* * *

 

“ _Hey, look, it's Jones,” a nine year old said as he roughly pushed the seven year old Michael from behind. Michael held his hands out to help himself with the fall, but his face still managed to hit the dirt. He could hear the group of kids laughing as they stood around him._

_He frowned as he looked up at them, specifically the one that had pushed him, and said, “Stop it,” in the softest voice that it only made them laugh more, but they walked away._

_Michael got himself up slowly and tried wiping the dirt from his clothes, face, hands, legs, and arms before continuing on his walk home. When he got to his house and walked in, he went right towards the living room._

“ _I'm home...” he said quietly, but he froze in his tracks when he saw his mom sitting his dad's lap._

_Mrs. Jones groaned as she looked over at him. “Okay, yeah, we get it, Michael, you're home. Now can you leave us alone for a while?”_

“ _I'm sorry,” Michael mumbled as he turned away._

“ _He really gets on my nerves sometimes,” he heard his dad say, so he quickened his steps towards his bedroom and sighed in relief when he was inside._

_He knew it wouldn't be too long until they were getting mad at him over something he didn't do, so he put his school stuff down by his closet and jumped onto his bed. It was what he usually did when he got home from school until dinner was ready or his parents found something for him to do._

_It wasn't like his life sucked... okay, that was a lie. He never_ considered _it like that, though. He didn't want to. But he was always alone and never really had anyone to talk to. The kids at school didn't care for him, because he looked sad all the time and nobody wanted to be around the sad kid. That hardly affected him, though, since he preferred to eat his snacks or lunch alone until it was time to return to the classroom and pretend he really cared about learning._

_One thing that was a bit of a shame was how he didn't have any siblings he could talk to, and as far as other relatives in the family, he wasn't sure. His parents never mentioned any family, but he overheard his mom say once that it was due to the fact that she was kicked out of her home after high school and they never wanted to have anything to do with her again. Apparently that was Michael's fault, but he was confused as to why._

_That was probably the reason why his parents liked to_ punish _him a lot._

_His life sucked, more than sucked, no doubt about it, but if anyone asked, he would just say it was complicated. Saying anything beyond that may result in more punishment and he wouldn't take that risk._

_When dinner was ready, if it could even be called that, he frowned and dragged himself out of his bedroom and towards the living room. His mother was stroking his father's hair and smiling as she watched him eat. When she noticed Michael walk in, she headed back into the kitchen to get his food. Michael swallowed hard and sat down in his usual chair while he waited. There was such an uncomfortable silence between him and his father that he just wanted to leave already. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, his mother returned quickly enough._

_As she put the plate down in front of him, she noticed something on Michael's arm. “Is that...” she grabbed his arm and lifted it up to examine it better. “Did you get yourself dirty at school?”_

_Michael shook his head. “No, Mommy, these older kids pushed me down when I was walking home. I'm sorry. I thought I cleaned myself off.” His mom merely sighed._

“ _You saying you have bullies?” His dad asked and Michael nodded._

_Mrs. Jones raised her eyebrows as she looked back and forth from the two, but then she settled on looking at her son. “Maybe your dad can teach you self defense,” although she was obviously kidding, Michael took it seriously and his eyes brightened._

“ _Really?” He asked his father, excitedly._

_Mr. Jones rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I don't have the time to do that, Michael.” Michael frowned and looked down at his plate._

“ _Oh, it's okay...” he said softly and grabbed his fork to begin eating the ham and rice._

_The three of them sat around, but Michael was quiet as his parents talked to each other about something he knew nothing of. He was swinging his legs a bit underneath the table, trying to make time pass by faster somehow, because he was hungry, but this food was so unappetizing. He forced as much of it as he could into his mouth and chewed on it slowly, wanting to spit it out instead of swallowing. It wasn't disgusting, but he was really getting sick of eating the same thing most of the week._

_Finally, when he decided that was enough of his plate cleared and enough time that had passed, he excused himself._

“ _Take your plate to the sink,” his mom mumbled to him before going back to her conversation._

_Michael got off the chair and grabbed his plate. He stared down at it as he headed into the kitchen, but that caused him not to notice his dad's shoes that were resting by the door, and before he even knew what was happening, he tripped._

_That made it two times in one day that his face met the ground, but whether he was okay or not was not his concern at the moment. What concerned him was the loud smash the plate made when it fell and how the floor was now covered in pieces of broken porcelain, rice, and slices of uneaten ham. Michael gasped as he got up on his knees and he was so_ afraid _to look behind him. His heart was already pounding, but he forced himself to turn his head and meet the angry looks his parents were giving him._

“ _I-I'll clean it up,” he practically squeaked as his father jumped up to his feet. He started to shield himself, but instead of getting in any way, nothing came. Michael blinked hard and slowly put his hands down._

_Mr. Jones grabbed his own plate and held it up, “Alright, while you're at it, you can clean mine too,” and Michael screamed a little as the plate was shattered to pieces against the wall. At least it wasn't anywhere near him..._

“ _Great. Well, that's two plates I now don't have,” he heard his mom mutter. His dad merely stormed out of there without another word._

“ _Clean up, Michael,” his mom said as she stood up, “because I'm done eating, too.” She dropped her napkin onto her half eaten plate and quickly walked away._

_Michael's vision blurred with tears as he stayed still, on his knees, surrounded by a mess that was“his” fault. It took so much within him to stand up and not cry as he grabbed the broom to start cleaning up._

_When he was eleven, it was determined by his school that he needed glasses after every student was given a vision test. The girl that was in front of him jumped up and down in celebration when she passed the test and Michael just shook his head, wanting to get this over with._

“ _Michael Jones?”_

_Michael sighed and stepped forward. He stood where he was told and while fighting back the urge to groan from how annoyed he was, he lifted his hand and covered his left eye._

_The school's nurse, who liked to be called by her first name – Daisy, smiled at Michael, but that smile faltered when she noticed something on the corner of Michael's lip. “That looks like it hurts,” she commented, pointing to her own corner lip to let him know what she was talking about._

_Michael furrowed his eyebrows. “It's just a cold sore; I'm used to them.”_

_It certainly didn't look like a cold sore to Daisy, but she decided to drop the topic and move onto why they were actually there. She walked over to the chart and pointed to the first row._

_Michael blinked, because he wasn't sure if he was seeing the letters correctly since they looked... blurry. “Uh, Z... Y... O?”_

_Daisy moved down a few rows and Michael had to squint his eye to read it._

“ _... B... um, N, T, E, and S?”_

“ _Switch eyes,” Daisy instructed and Michael obliged, but it ended with the same results. He kept mistaking the B for an E and vise-versa. Daisy wrote something down and walked back to join him at his side. “Michael, do you ever have trouble seeing the board in class?” She asked._

_Michael put his hands down and shrugged. “Not really,” but she narrowed her eyes at him and he sighed, “Yeah, sometimes.”_

“ _Do you squint?”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _What about when you're reading?”_

“ _I don't read.”_

“ _Surely your teacher assigns books for the class to read.”_

“ _Doesn't mean I actually read them.”_

_Daisy raised an eyebrow. “Michael,” she sounded a bit stern, like a disappointed parent._

_Michael crossed his arms. “Are we done or not?”_

“ _We are,” she nodded, “but take care of that_ cold sore, _alright?” Michael wanted to ask why she had to say it like that, but he merely told her he would and then he walked out._

_Once he knew she wasn't paying him anymore attention, he caught his reflection in one of the mirrors on the way out and gently touched that “cold sore”. He flinched at the contact and shook his head. His father may have lost his temper with him the night before, but it could have been worse._

_It was around a week later when the letter came in the mail, talking about how Michael needed to see the eye doctor for further eye examination. His mother had been making decent money lately, so much to Michael's surprise, she agreed to take him. Her annoyance about it, though, was more than clear. Michael almost wanted to tell her to forget about it, but admittedly, he was tired of not being able to see well in class._

_That was probably the only decent thing his parents ever did for him._

_A few months after his thirteenth birthday, everything went downhill, even more than they already were. His parents were just fed up with him every second of the day, but he was fed up with them as well. For the past year, Michael had been walking on a very thin line with them, considering he was starting to talk a little back. It wasn't a lot and not enough to actually anger them, but it was something and it was something they wouldn't forget._

_Before, at school, he had no friends due to being the sad kid, but now, he had no friends due to being the kid with a short temper. Could they really blame him, though? If only they knew, yet Michael was glad they didn't. And it was that attitude that made him feel that he could stand up for himself in front of his parents one night – the night that ended with him receiving a sore, bruised eye and ribs that ached to the point that he was cringing at the thought of moving._

_It was how he found himself fighting back tears at school, wanting to snap every time someone pointed and laughed at him. It was how his teacher pulled him aside and asked him what happened, and he told her, because she promised it would be kept between them._

_It wasn't._

_When Michael met Sarah, it didn't go as well as she planned. She was explaining to him what was going to happen now that he was separated from his abusive parents, but Michael was sick of listening to her speech._

“ _Will you_ shut _the_ fuck _up?” He shouted, causing her to be taken aback. “I don't_ care _about your plan of finding '_ better homes for all the kids here' _,” he used a mocking tone when he repeated her words, but the expression on her face was blank as she continued to listen to him, “I get it! I'm stuck here now until I'm old enough to be on my own! I don't see how it's better! This is all fucking bullshit! You should have just kept me with them! I was used to it!”_

_Sarah frowned as she averted her eyes. “That's why we had to take you, Michael. That's not something you were supposed to be used to. It wasn't something you deserved. It wasn't home.”_

“ _Oh, but this is?” Michael bitterly asked, waving his arms around._

“ _If you accept-”_

“ _Shut up.”_

“ _Michael,_ please _watch your tone. I apologize that this isn't what you were expecting, but you're safe now, and that's what matters.”_

“ _It's not gonna make me any happier. I'll_ never _be happy._ That's _what I've come to accept.”_

“ _I've heard that many times, Michael,” Sarah stepped closer to him, but she stopped when he turned away, “I promise you, it will get better.”_

_Michael nodded, though he had a cold stare on his face. “Right, yeah. I'm sure that's the same bullshit you tell every kid here.”_

“ _You'll see,” Sarah said as she smiled anyway and Michael was left standing there, eyebrows squeezed together as he watched her leave the room._

* * *

 

“You know, I never got to apologize,” Gavin spoke as he sat down next to Miles in the chairs. Miles looked at him and shook his head.

“That's because you don't need to,” he told Gavin. “It's okay. Things happen between friends like this all the time, sometimes worse, but hey, sure... I forgive you. I do.”

Gavin wanted to smile at him. It was nearly impossible, though. Smiling was just too difficult of a task right now. He took a deep breath and looked up as Meg approached them.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hi,” he greeted blandly.

“Can we talk?”

Miles looked back and forth from the two and was about to get up to give them their alone time, but Gavin placed his hand on his arm. Miles froze.

“No,” Gavin shook his head, “I'll get up; you stay.” Miles sighed and sat still as Gavin got up and followed Meg towards the wall, away from everyone.

“This... this is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through,” he said to her, keeping his voice down.

Meg pouted as she nodded. “I know and I'm so sorry you have to even go through this at all.”

“I just... I love him,” Gavin shrugged, letting out a weak laugh. “And I told him that this morning, and you know, I don't care that he didn't say it back. It's fine. I just wish he wouldn't have pushed me away.” Meg gently cupped his face as he kept talking, “I'm scared. I don't want to think negatively, I don't, but... what if... Meg, what if he-”

“No,” Meg cut him off, “No. He's going to be okay.”

“But you can't be so sure-”

“And like you said, don't think negatively. I'm thinking positively. I'm going to _keep_ thinking positively, even if I have to do that for the both of us.”

Gavin groaned and stepped away from her as he slid down the wall. She sat down next to him and just stared at him, waiting for him to say something else.

“I'm just... terrified,” he whispered.

Meg wrapped an arm around, pulling him closer, and Gavin closed his eyes as he rested his head on her shoulder. Kdin and Ray joined Miles, although they hardly said a thing to each other, but it was comforting just sitting there together, like old times, except, in old times, they wouldn't be in the hospital waiting room. Lindsay was with Barbara, Arryn, and Kara, and they were also pretty quiet, but occasionally, one of them would speak up about something to try and brighten the mood, though the mood would go back down.

Geoff was pacing back and forth, trying to settle his nerves while Griffon sat down and held in her tears. She wanted to keep a strong front for the kids, but she was close to giving up.

The only possible good thing about all of this was how they were all here, that Ray and Gavin were speaking again, as were Kdin and Miles, just like they had never drifted apart.

They were together again.

Ray looked over his shoulder just in time to see Blaine, Kyle, and Chris walking up. He stood up abruptly and hurried over to greet them. He had texted Blaine a little while after Miles and Kdin had arrived, but he was a little surprised at how fast they came.

“How is he?” Chris asked, his voice slightly shaky.

“I don't know,” Ray shrugged. “The doctor came an hour ago and said he wasn't... oh fuck, he said Michael wasn't responsive. I don't know, guys... I'm trying not to freak out right now.” He turned away slightly.

“Oh, man,” Kyle breathed out. He sat down in one of the chairs near Miles and took a deep breath. “Oh, Michael, come on. You can do this.”

Blaine swallowed the lump forming in his throat and placed a hand on Ray's shoulder. “That was an hour ago, so maybe now things are better.”

“He said he would come tell us when things started looking up and I just keep finding myself staring in the direction he left in, hoping he comes back to say Michael's fine,” Ray told him. “Come on, let's just sit down.” Blaine and Chris nodded and followed him to the chairs where they went back to almost complete silence. Ray was getting nauseous the more time passed without receiving any news. Other patients seemed to come and go, and they were slowly becoming impatient.

Geoff stopped pacing after a while, but now Griffon was the one who couldn't keep still. Lindsay was also beginning to play around with her hair or move around occasionally to stay occupied and not just think about what was going on. Gavin remained seated against the wall with Meg. Blaine must have left to grab a cup of water about ten times while Chris tapped his foot endlessly and Kyle was constantly taking deep breathes. Arryn, Kara, and Barbara were looking around a lot, watching out for any sight of Michael's doctor.

Plenty more than a _few_ hours had passed when he finally walked out again – it was now nearing eleven PM. Geoff almost knocked chair over from how quick he jumped up from it and he and Griffon headed up to him.

“I have good news,” the doctor spoke and audible sighs of relief were heard throughout the room, “He's not awake, but he is doing better than before, and I can allow you to go see him, but only one or two at a time; I don't want it getting crowded in there.”

“Then we'll go first,” Geoff said and Griffon nodded. The doctor started leading them while everyone else stayed behind, feeling weight slowly lift off of them.

“I want you to know that Michael does have a punctured lung, a few fractured ribs, his left arm is broken, and so is his collarbone-”

“His collarbone, too?!” Geoff asked, unable to hold back his shock.

The doctor nodded. “It was a huge impact on his left side that I'm amazed his left leg only managed to get a few bruises.”

“Well, thank goodness for that at least,” Griffon breathed.

“How long is it going to take for his broken bones to heal?” Geoff asked, looking over to see a few doors opened and a few people sat around a bed. He frowned when he noticed the distraught expressions on their faces.

“Fractured ribs tend to take around three to six weeks to heal, broken arms will have to be checked in about six weeks, but they can take up to ten weeks, and collarbones usually need ten to twelve weeks,” the doctor explained. Geoff and Griffon's eyes widened, but they said no more as they continued following him. Once they came to a stop in front of a room, the doctor turned to them, reminded them to not touch anything and then allowed them in.

Geoff turned to Griffon. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as they stepped in.

The doctor closed the door after they were both in and then walked off. Geoff and Griffon merely stood in place near the door, staring at Michael from there. Michael's arm was in a cast and sling, his face seemed to have a few bruises, and there was the bandage that practically covered his entire forehead, though it was clearly only meant to cover one side of it. What stood out the most, though, was the breathing tube in his mouth and when Griffon stepped closer, she could no longer hold in the tears that had been bothering her since they got to the hospital. Seeing all the wires that were leading underneath the blanket wasn't helping either.

Geoff pulled Griffon into his arms as she shook her head. “Just remember he's doing better,” he whispered in her ear, “He's doing better.”

It took Griffon a moment, but she managed to regain herself long enough to pull away from Geoff and walk over to Michael's right side. She leaned down and kissed his cheek gently before she had to step back and cover her face.

They stayed in there for a good thirty minutes, merely staring at him to see if his eyes would open, but the only thing about him that moved with his stomach from rising up and down slowly with his breathing. Geoff eventually told Griffon to give someone else a chance to see him and reluctantly, she agreed, but she didn't want to leave Michael's side. They returned to the others and Lindsay ran to them.

“How is he?” She frantically asked. Griffon grabbed her hand gently.

“I'll show you his room if you want to go see him,” she told her and Lindsay nodded. The two walked off while Geoff looked at everyone else.

“Ray? Gavin?” He spoke, getting them both to look up at him. “One of you want to go in with her?”

Ray shook his head, averting his eyes. “I... I can't... I can't see him like that.”

“I can't either,” Gavin said softly, making Meg raise an eyebrow at him.

“But Gavin, don't you want to see that he's okay?” She asked.

“I want to see him awake,” Gavin answered. “I had to see the way he looked at the scene and how he looked while they were rushing him here, and that was horrifying. I-I don't think seeing him like that and hooked up to machines will be any better.”

“Alright, it's fine, Gavin,” Geoff assured him with a nod and Gavin frowned, looking away.

Lindsay hesitated when she reached the door that Griffon asked, “Do you want me to go in with you?” but she shook her head.

“No,” she replied, “I can do this.” Even though her hands were now trembling almost uncontrollably. She entered the room slowly and gasped when she took in the way Michael looked. It took her a moment to find the strength to move her feet, but it happened until she was by his side.

“Hi, Michael,” she said softly, grabbing his hand, “Um, so... remember how you said you wanted to be the first to know if I got the part?” She sniffled and had to bit down on her lower lip to prevent herself from crying from his silence. “Well, ta-da!” She tried sounding excited, but it came out weak. “You're the first to know. I got an email from Mrs. Spencer earlier. Yeah... you were right. She said she didn't need to see anyone else to know I was the Jo she wanted, but she still had to be fair,” Lindsay breathed out a laugh, though it quickly turned into a whimper as a few tears fell onto the bed.

“Michael, you can't do this to me,” she choked out. “You _can't._ I can't lose someone else like this. Not again. I _can't._ Please,” her grip on his hand tightened slightly, “I barely survived the first time, Michael, but I _can't_ do that again. _Please_... don't make me go through that a-again...” and then she was getting down on her knees, holding his hand in both of hers, because she couldn't speak anymore even if she tried.

After a while, though, she managed to at least say “Please” every now and so. She wasn't sure how long she had been in there, but she figured she should get up and leave in case someone else wanted to see him. So, letting go of his hand with one of hers, she began wiping her face, but as she tried moving her other hand away from his, she felt him grab it. 

Lindsay stiffened, staring down hard to make sure she wasn't imagining things. She wasn't, and realizing that, she slowly shifted her eyes up to look at his face.

“Michael?” 

 


	39. Thirty-nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first song of the chapter is "When You Fall In Love" by Andrew Ripp. Holy crap. Final chapter. READ ON, FRIENDS.

Gavin groaned and got up from the floor, startling Meg. He took a few steps away from her, running his fingers through his hair in frustration, managing to make it more of a mess than it already was.

“What is it?” Meg asked, getting to her feet as well.

“This _waiting_ ,” he whined. “I'm tired of waiting! It's...” he paused to look up at the clock on the wall, “It's bloody close to midnight!”

“Gav, you have to be patient with this,” Geoff told him, though he seemed just as impatient. Gavin spun around to face him, his eyebrows furrowed.

“ _Why_ can't he just _wake_ up?!” He angrily asked. “I just want him to be awake and okay, and like none of this even happened.” Kdin got up to comfort him but Gavin held up his hands, stepping back from him. “Stop, no. I don't want to hear it. I'm tired.” Kdin just sighed and sat back down.

Geoff inhaled sharply. “Even when he does wake up, he'll have to deal with the healing, but I'm confident he'll be able to handle it. At least, better than we would.”

Gavin pouted and folded his arms across his chest. He walked over and sat down next to Geoff with a huff, but neither of them said a word.

Lindsay swallowed the lump in her throat as she stared at Michael's face. She would glance down at their hands making contact for a bit, but mostly, she was watching his face.

“Michael?” She tried again, her voice slightly shaky, and then she was holding her breath when Michael's eyes started fluttering open. He looked back at her, eyes tired but wide, and Lindsay was up on her feet before he could even try doing anything else.

“Wait here!” She told him, like he actually had a choice. “Griffon!” Lindsay called out as she ran towards the door. “Griffon!” Griffon stepped away from the door as it flung open and seeing the wide smile on Lindsay's face, she furrowed her eyebrows.

“What is it?” She asked.

“Michael's awake!” Lindsay practically cheered. “He's awake!” Griffon blinked hard, almost unsure if she had Lindsay correctly, but Lindsay was nodding frantically. Griffon peeked into the room to see Michael looking up and around as best as he could.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out.

“I told you!” Lindsay squealed.

“Oh my god. Where's his doctor? We need to get his doctor,” Griffon was speaking as she started running down the hall. “I'll go see if he's over here; you get check down the other way!” Lindsay nodded and took off without any hesitation.

Geoff noticed the way Gavin was gripping the armrests of the chair tightly enough to make his knuckles turn white. Instead of trying to stop him, because he knew that would hardly work anyway, Geoff merely sighed and turned to look at everyone else.

“You know, like Gavin said, it's almost midnight,” he was talking to Arryn, Barbara, Miles, Kara, and Kdin mostly, because Blaine, Chris, and Kyle seemed distracted with speaking to Ray, “Maybe you guys should head home. I can give any of you a ride if you need-”

“Geoff!” Griffon called, running down the hallway.

Geoff turned his head to look at her, but he was standing up quickly, noticing the mixture of excitement and worry in her eyes. “What is it?” He asked, and Gavin also couldn't help but get up from his seat.

Griffon came to halt in front of them, her hands going up to her mouth as a smile started to take over, and judging by the tears forming in her eyes, Gavin knew that had to mean one thing.

“He's awake?” He asked, hopeful.

Griffon put her hands down and nodded. “Yeah, Gav. He just woke up,” she grabbed his face gently, “He's awake.” The corners of Gavin's lips rose up easily for the first time that night that he couldn't even say anything but hug her.

Once Lindsay had found Michael's doctor, she watched as he and a few nurses rushed into Michael's room, but of course she had to stay out. She decided to take the time to return to everyone else and getting there to see them all hugging each other, smiles on their faces brought warmth to her stomach.

It was over, the nightmare, and she could finally just breathe.

Ray turned around and saw her, immediately waving her over. Lindsay grinned as she rushed to his side and wrapped him in her arms. It wasn't too long after that the doctor was walking out and calling Geoff and Griffon over to tell them they could go see Michael now if they wanted to. How quickly those two took off towards Michael's room was kind of amusing, but nobody could blame them; they were all anxious to see Michael too.

Now that was Michael was able to focus on what was going on and where he was, he sighed softly. He was almost quite unsure what the nurses and doctor did to him, because he was too distracted by the slight pounding in his head as they were touching him and checking the machines next to him. He was listening to everything they told him, though.

The only thing bothering him now was the fact that he could not sit up without the pain from his arm and shoulder being too much to handle when he tried moving. His heart was starting to race faster, because he was actually in the hospital... because he had ruined Geoff's car, and that was just unsettling to think about. The moment he saw Geoff and Griffon run into his room, his eyes widened.

“Geoff, oh fuck,” he breathed out, the nerves getting to him badly, “Geoff, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,” he was speaking so fast that Geoff could hardly comprehend what he was saying.

Geoff ran to his side and cupped his face, and although Michael continued to mutter how sorry he was, Geoff said, “I don't care about the car, so don't worry about it. I care about _you,_ Michael. You're okay and you're awake, and that's what matters most. We'll deal with the car later.”

“I-I took it without your permission. I-I fucked up. I...” he suddenly gasped and he looked around. “Gavin... where's Gavin?”

Geoff furrowed his eyebrows. “He's okay. He's with everyone else in the waiting room.”

The amount of relief that was going through Michael's face was evident enough to make Geoff smile.

“I'm just making sure,” Michael spoke, “because he was out looking for me and I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to him on his way home.”

“He never came home,” Griffon told him as she got closer to the bed, “He went back for you.”

“ _What_?”

“He was at the scene of the accident and then he rode in the ambulance with you.”

Michael frowned as he looked Geoff in the eyes. “I'm so sorry,” he practically whispered.

“Stop it,” Geoff scolded, although he was still smiling, “I can get another car. I can't get another Michael, though.” Michael swallowed roughly and managed to crack a smile as well.

Geoff let go of his face and stepped back to allow Griffon to stand next to Michael. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head, whispering how happy she was that he was okay. Michael's smile increased as he looked up at her.

“You know, I think you're surprising everyone that works here by being awake right now,” she then explained to him. “You pretty unresponsive for a few hours, and now look at you.”

“Did your doctor tell you everything?” Geoff asked him. Michael nodded.

“You mean that I'm pretty much fucked up everywhere? Yeah,” Michael answered.

“Oh, come on. You not fucked up _everywhere_.”

“Yeah, it's just your collar bone, your arm, ribs, a punctured lung, and oh, your head was hit pretty hard too,” Griffon told him, though she had a hint of a teasing tone in her words that Michael wanted to laugh, but he grinned instead.

“Besides all of that, you feeling okay, buddy?” Geoff asked him.

“I guess I'm alright,” Michael shrugged his good shoulder.

“In pain?”

“Fuck yeah,” Michael mumbled under his breath before having to hiss through his teeth when he attempted to sit up again.

“Okay, okay, relax,” Griffon said to him, stroking his hair gently, “You need rest, especially because it's midnight.”

“It's _midnight_?”

“Yeah, so you get your rest and we'll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Meaning you guys are going home to sleep, too, right?”

Griffon and Geoff exchanged looks and Michael huffed.

“I'll be fine here in the hospital by myself,” he assured them, “Just go home and sleep in your beds instead of the crappy waiting room chairs.”

“They aren't _that_ bad,” Geoff murmured, rubbing his neck.

Michael shook his head. “Please?”

Ignoring that, Geoff moved on to say, “You know you have a ton of people here for you out there.”

“Really? Like who?”

“Everyone you know. Except Kerry, but I think I heard Ray tell Lindsay that Kerry couldn't get a ride here, so he'll be stopping by tomorrow morning.”

Michael licked his lips, but he said no more about the subject, since he did want to stop talking and just sleep. He hadn't even noticed until now how heavy his eyelids were getting.

“Someone's ready to fall asleep,” Griffon teased, ruffling his hair some more.

“I think I need the medicine to help, though,” he told her. “I hurt... everywhere.”

Griffon nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. “I'll get the nurse.”

“The nurse?” Geoff questioned. He looked at her with squinted eyes for a moment. “Why? We can do it ourselves. You just...” he turned back to the machines and pointed, “push this, don't you?”

“Geoff, if you don't know what to do, then don't,” Michael pleaded.

Geoff scoffed, but as Michael narrowed his eyes at him, he sighed and started heading towards the door as he called out, “Nurse!”

Since everyone was able to feel relaxed in the waiting room, Miles decided it was time for him to head home for the night. He was telling Arryn that he was about to call his mom when she explained that he should wait until her mom came since her mom was going to take the other girls home anyway. Miles smiled at her and nodded in agreement. He then held her in his arms as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Ray was sitting nearby, a cup of water in hand, as he watched them idly.

After finishing his short conversation with Chris, Kdin made his way over and sat down next to Ray.

“Oh, hey. Miles and the girls are getting ready to leave. You thinking about leaving soon, too?” Ray asked before taking a sip of his drink.

“I think I'll stay,” Kdin answered, “My mom told me she would come by in the morning and pick me up if I wanted to stay with you guys here or at your house.”

Ray nodded, taking another sip of his water and swallowing. “Awesome.”

Kdin pursed his lips, clapping his hands together as he thought over what he wanted to ask next. He only looked at Ray through his peripheral vision as he finally spoke up, “So, does he know?”

“Who and know what?” Ray asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Miles,” Kdin clarified, keeping his voice down so the person of topic wouldn't hear. “Does he know?”

Ray blinked hard. “Know _what_?” He asked again.

Kdin squinted his eyes and smiled slyly at Ray. “You know what I'm talking about.”

Ray tilted his head at Kdin. He was more than ready to spur up excuses and lies, but it was late and he was tired, and this was Kdin. “Yeah, alright, I do know what you're talking about,” he admitted, “and no he doesn't know. How the hell did you figure it out, though?”

“ _Ray_ ,” Kdin sung, shoving him playfully. “You're forgetting that I've known you for _years,_ and just because I haven't talked to you in a while doesn't mean I forgot how you look when you see something you really like. Remember the first time you saw the PS4 at the store? I have never seen anyone more in love with anything before that.” Ray let out a small laugh, averting his eyes.

“And I can just tell you're looking at Miles differently now,” Kdin went on, “It's a different kind of fondness and it's kind of cute.” Ray would have punched him for saying that and Kdin could tell, so they both just smiled.

“Yeah, but he's with Arryn,” Ray reminded him, “and I'm more than okay with that, because Arryn's fucking awesome. I don't even know how these feelings actually happened, either. He just... he makes me happy and stuff, and I don't know,” he shrugged, “he was there for me a lot and I guess it just...”

“Happened?”

“Yeah, a lot of things just _happen_.”

Kdin nodded.

“But you know,” Ray continued, “I feel like, even if he was single, I wouldn't act on it. I don't think I'd want an actual relationship with him. I like being his friend, _just_ his friend. It's easy and comfortable and I'm fine with it. Sure these feelings are kind of annoying, because they keep growing and making me feel this crap, but you know, all I care about is that he's happy,” he glanced over at Miles and saw the way he and Arryn were laughing at something, “I want him to be happy, just like he makes me happy. And Arryn does that – she makes him smile a lot more than usual, and that's good.” The corners of his lips curled up as the couple turned to face their other friends.

“Well, then I'm glad, Ray,” Kdin said as he patted Ray's hand.

“Thanks, man.” Ray sighed loudly. “Oh, but I'm just so relieved right now that Michael's okay.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kdin nodded. “You texted Miles and then Miles texted me, and I was confused, because it's been forever since I had a text message from him. So when I read what he said, I couldn't believe it, and I _hauled_ ass over here.”

“And thanks for doing that,” Ray told him, “I think this whole situation was easier with you guys here.”

“I'll always be here for you, Ray.”

Ray was smiling at Kdin when Geoff and Griffon appeared walking down the hallway towards them. Gavin turned away from Barbara when he heard footsteps and he gasped excitedly to see that it was them.

“Can I go see him?” He asked them, eyes wide.

“He's asleep again, because he was feeling some pain, but sure, buddy,” Geoff nodded at him, “Go ahead.” Gavin almost squealed before heading on his way, although he had Griffon walk him since he had no clue where the room was.

Geoff went ahead and sat down next to Lindsay. “You doing okay?” He asked her. She nodded.

“Much better,” she answered as she turned her body towards Geoff. “I just cannot believe he woke up with me there. Nothing that incredible has ever happened to me before. I'm not saying I helped him wake up, but wow, perfect timing.”

“I know. It really was. You don't want to go see him right now?”

Lindsay shook her head. “No, he's asleep, and Gavin's there with him, so might as well let them have their alone time together... even if one of them isn't awake,” she smiled and Geoff returned it.

“Do you feel like going home?”

“Nope. Well, kind of, but I also don't want to leave knowing Michael's here.”

“Yeah, I feel the same way. Michael wants us to go home, though, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?”

Lindsay raised her eyebrows and laughed a little. “True.”

“No, but I do think we will be leaving, because I don't think we're able to stay here all night anyway, but I promise you we'll be back before he wakes.”

“That's all I want.”

“That's what you'll get.”

 

* * *

 

As soon as Gavin got the gist of which direction he needed to go to get to Michael's room, Griffon turned and left to head back to the waiting room while Gavin continued on his way. He stayed as quiet as possible when entering the room, even though he was sure Michael wouldn't hear a thing anyway. Michael appeared to be out like a light, his breathing quiet and his lips parted only slightly. Gavin couldn't help but smile at the rather adorable sight, because he tried ignoring the fact that there were in a hospital room. He sauntered his way towards Michael's side, grabbing a chair nearby and sitting down next to Michael's bed.

“Hi, Michael,” he said softly, taking Michael's hand in his. He brought it up to his lips and planted small kisses on his knuckles. Smiling, he looked up at Michael's face. “Goodnight, love.” He scooted his chair even closer so he could comfortably rest his head on the bed next to the side of Michael's stomach. This wasn't the ideal way to sleep, but Gavin preferred this than being away from Michael, so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to push away those horrid thoughts of Michael sitting in that car after the accident.

Everything was okay now... everything would be okay. They would talk in the morning and it would somewhat be like nothing bad ever happened.

And so Gavin allowed himself to fall asleep that way.

Lindsay, Kdin, and Ray ended up walking their friends out to the parking lot when Griffon returned, leaving Griffon and Geoff to speak alone. She sat down next to her husband, grabbing his hand and stroking his fingers slowly.

“What are you thinking about?” Geoff had to ask after a moment.

“Oh, you know, everything,” she spoke softly and Geoff sat up a little more. “What are they gonna say when they find out, Geoff? Michael was in _our_ care and he got hurt.”

“Let's not talk about that right now.”

“We have to tell them what happened. They have to know everything, good and bad.”

“Okay, we will,” Geoff nodded, “In the morning.”

Griffon frowned as she looked away. “What if they take him from us?” Her voice was extremely quiet, but Geoff heard her.

“We'll talk tomorrow about this,” he said again. “Let's just get the kids when they come back and go home for some sleep.”

Griffon didn't say a word as she rested her head on his shoulder. When Ray, Lindsay, and Kdin returned, Griffon got up and left to go get Gavin, but she hadn't expected to see him already asleep with Michael. She smiled sadly at the sight and thought about waking Gavin up, but she couldn't bring herself to do so.

“Excuse me, ma'am,” a voice said from behind. Griffon turned around to see one of the nurses standing there. “I have to ask you to leave to let Michael here get some rest without being disturbed.”

“Oh, I know, we're just about to leave, but... uh...” She nodded towards the bed and the nurse looked in to see Gavin sleeping there.

“Oh... he's not supposed to be there,” the nurse frowned.

“But I can't just wake him up. Wouldn't it be so bad if he stayed?”

“I wouldn't quite mind if it were you or your husband, but...” the nurse paused as she saw the pleading look on Griffon's face. “You didn't hear it from me.”

“Thank you,” Griffon smiled as she closed the door, leaving the two boys to continue sleeping peacefully on the other side.

It was how Michael ended up waking seven hours later to find Gavin sleeping next to him on the chair. He bit down on his lower lip as he threaded his fingers through Gavin's mess of hair and Gavin stirred a bit at the contact before stretching and opening his eyes. With half hooded eyes, he looked up at Michael to find him smiling.

“Good morning,” Michael whispered.

“Mm, good morning,” Gavin mused, leaning up and planting a kiss on Michael's chin. “How are you feeling?”

“Shitty, but I'm glad you're here,” Michael then raised an eyebrow at him, “Have you been here all night?”

“Yep,” Gavin nodded. “Couldn't leave you here.”

“God damnit, Gavin.”

“Michael... I want to say I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“For putting you in this mess. If I wasn't-”

“Wait, wait, wait...” Michael cut him off, raising his hand, “You're blaming yourself for what happened to me?”

“If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have fought, and you wouldn't have left; you would be home right now instead of here.”

“What happened is in no way you're fault. Okay? I could have just went out for a walk, but I decided to take the keys and have myself a nice little drive. I realize how bad of an idea that was now, but oh well. It happened and I survived, so can we just move on?”

Gavin's eyebrows squeezed together. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, Michael. We can't just _move_ on. We almost lost you, and I was terrified, more terrified than I have ever been. We all were and we can't just forget that.” He leaned up again, but closer this time until their foreheads were nearly touching. “I saw you, Michael, I saw you in that car, and I thought...” he swallowed hard, “I-I thought you were... I thought you were gone, and I hated myself, because I was going back for you, but I didn't make it on time. That's why I blame myself, Michael. I tried going back to get you, and I... I had to see you like that...” Gavin's voice was beginning to shake a little and Michael's eyes watered as he listened on, “Michael, I thought... I thought I lost you.”

Michael's lower lip quivered, but he sniffled and tried his best to keep his tears from falling. “But I'm fine, Gav. I'm fine.”

“No, you're not. You're hurt. _Beyond_ hurt. I should have stopped you. I'm sorry I walked away.”

“Gavin...”

“I'll never walk away again, because I love you, Michael.” Those words were enough to make Michael's tears roll down his cheeks and seeing them, Gavin quickly wiped them with his hands. He then swiftly kissed Michael on the lips and jumped back when the door opened, but luckily, it was just Ray who walked in.

“Oh... uh... was I... was I interrupting something?” He asked, taking a step backwards.

Gavin shook his head. “No, I'll leave and let you two talk. I have to use the restroom anyway,” he smiled at Michael and patted Ray's back on his way out of there.

Ray sighed deeply and made his way to Michael's side. “Hey,” he said quietly.

Michael sniffled again and wiped his eyes, but he managed to grin crookedly at Ray. “Morning. Sleep well?”

“Not really. I was just anxious to get back here and talk to you. You really scared us.”

“I heard.”

“Why did you leave, anyway?”

Michael averted his eyes. “Because driving usually helps me clear my mind and that's what I needed. Gavin and I had a fight and I just didn't want to think about it.”

“So you two are like... a thing or something?” Ray hesitantly asked, squinting his eyes and making Michael laugh a bit.

“If I'm being honest, I have no idea,” he answered. “I like him a lot, don't get me wrong, but I guess we'll see what happens now,” and just saying that out loud made his own stomach warm up.

Ray nodded. “Well, you two are adorable, so I approve.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Didn't know I needed your approval.”

“Of course you do! We live in the same room. I need to know just in case I walk in on you two making out.”

“Ah, don't worry about that. We usually make out in his bed.”

“Well, I didn't actually want to know that you two _do_ make out, but thanks.”

Michael winked at him and said, “You're welcome.” Ray let out a laugh and shook his head. Michael tried laughing again, too, but he just ended up groaning at the pain from his ribs.

Ray frowned and looked at the machines. “Are these drugs not enough or what?”

“They're doing their best, I guess. Could be worse, but it still fucking hurts, or maybe I'm just a little baby.”

Ray opened his mouth to respond when the door opened again and Lindsay walked in, smiling brightly to see Michael awake.

“Hey!” Michael greeted cheerfully, using as much energy as he could.

“It's so nice to see you talking,” Lindsay said, hurrying over to his other side and kissing his cheek gently.

“If only I could sit up, though,” Michael grumbled.

“Why can't you?”

“It hurts.”

“Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you tried pushing up with your right shoulder.”

Michael blinked, looking up at her in astonishment, and then over at Ray who just shrugged. “Oh, well...” he did as she said and even though it was still quite painful, it did work. “Wow, alright. I don't know how I didn't think of that.”

“You also could have tried asking for help,” Ray told him, but then he sighed. “By the way, I know you and Kdin aren't exactly friends, but he told me to tell you that he hopes you get better soon so you can get the hell out of this hospital.”

“Let him know I say thanks,” Michael said.

“Yeah, he would have still been here, but his mom stopped by the house before we left to pick him up. Oh, and uh, Blaine told me that he, Kyle, and Chris would be here around lunch. Same with Kerry.”

“And how exactly do you have Kerry's number?”

Ray snorted. “I don't. I found him on Facebook and messaged him.” Michael simply smiled, and again, the door opened and Gavin entered, followed by Geoff and Griffon.

“Isn't this more people in the room than they allowed?” Ray asked them, folding his arms over his chest.

Geoff mimicked his actions and Ray put his arms down in defeat. “Are you gonna tell them?” Geoff asked.

“No.”

Geoff smiled at him, and before he could even think about saying anything else, he, along with everyone else, was being hushed by Lindsay.

“Shut up, I actually have something very important to tell Michael,” she sounded overly excited, so everyone turned their attention towards her and Michael. Lindsay looked at him with her wide smile and Michael almost couldn't wait for her to just say it. “I kind of told you already last night, but I don't think you heard, so... here I go again.” She took a deep breath and proceeded, “Guess who has the role of Jo March?” She heard everyone gasp, but she kept staring at Michael.

Michael's eyes widened. “Holy shit! I _knew_ you would get it! Lindsay, I'm so proud of you,” and as best as he could, he leaned towards her and patted her back with his good hand and arm as his attempt to hug her.

“Thank you,” she told him, and then she turned towards everyone else, finally seeing their smiles.

“Aw, our Lindsay is going to be a star,” Griffon gushed as she walked up to her. Lindsay laughed and hugged her.

“Yeah, congrats, Linds. That's incredible,” Gavin told her.

“I'll be there in the front row, and I'll throw roses at you when you're doing your curtain call,” Ray added, making a swiping motion with his hands and Gavin grinned at him. Ray noticed and smiled back at him.

“I missed you, Ray,” Gavin said in a hushed tone.

“I missed you, too, man. I mean, of course I did. You were my brother.”

“ _Were_?”

Ray cleared his throat and wrapped an arm around him, “My mistake – _are_.”

Gavin breathed out a laugh as he gently pushed Ray away from him. “But we can't be brothers, Ray. We aren't _related._ I'm from England and you're from... I don't know,” he shrugged.

Ray had to contain himself, recalling all those years ago when a girl in their grade had told them that. “What the fuck? It _matters_?” He joked, and they both were unable to hold back their laughter.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at them for a moment, then he looked at Geoff and Griffon. “I can't fucking wait to go home, guys, but I understand that won't happen for a while.”

Geoff and Griffon exchanged looks, ones that Michael or Lindsay didn't catch, so they forced smiles on their faces.

“We can't wait for you to go back home, either,” Griffon told him, she bit down on her lower lip a bit.

“Where you belong,” Geoff finished for her, because it was true.

They all belonged together, even if the world was against that and pulled them apart. They were confident that everything would always end up fine.

Even when Geoff called Sarah later that day and explained everything, listening to how horrified she was and getting a lecture on how the safety and responsibility of each child came first. Or when she came over to the house a few weeks later when Michael finally was out of the hospital. Michael was still struggling with doing things on his own, but everyone happily helped him, and when Sarah arrived, Michael was told to stay in the kitchen with Geoff and Griffon and her. They had a long talk about why she didn't think it was right for Michael to stay there anymore. Of course Michael argued against her, tried explaining how none of what happened was Geoff or Griffon's fault, that it was his fault. Sarah argued back, saying that it was still their responsibility to make sure he wasn't getting into any trouble.

Geoff and Griffon were ready to do whatever it took to keep him in their house, until Sarah stood up and told them, “You're lucky I'm only taking him. Let this be a lesson that you have to know where they are at all times and make sure they don't run off like that. This could be worse, especially because of how badly he was injured, but I'm letting you two off easy, because I know you two are good people and I know accidents happen.”

“So, why can't you give us another chance and let him stay?” Geoff asked, rying not to let his anger show.

“Because then I would be getting in trouble for not keeping him where he's safe.”

“He's safe here. Nothing will ever happen to him again.”

“And how can you be so sure? I can't take that chance, but like I said, you're lucky it's only him that I'm taking with me and lucky that's all I'm doing.”

“But Sarah, I'm not going anywhere with you,” Michael argued, glaring at her.

Sarah turned to him, sighing. “Michael-”

“No, Sarah, no,” he shook his head. “Do you remember what you told me the first day I was put into foster care?” When Sarah didn't respond, Michael went on, “I told you I would _never_ be happy and you told me it would get better... well, Sarah, you were right. It did get better. It got better _here._ This is my home,” although his eyes were blurring from the tears wanting to escape, he didn't stop talking, “You can't take me away from my home, not one where I'm actually happy at. Sarah, you can't force me to go with you.”

Geoff and Griffon looked at Sarah for her answer, but although Sarah had a look on her face that said she understood, she shook her head.

“I can't, Michael,” she told him. “I'll let you stay until you fully recover, but I'm sorry.”

Even when the day came, over a month later, that Michael was mostly recovered, (which was such a rough time, because Michael had his days where the pain in his shoulder and collar bone was much too intense. Thankfully painkillers and plenty of rest helped a good amount) finally getting rid of his arm cast and even when he screamed and refused to leave, they all knew things would look up soon. They always did, didn't they?

So when Michael was left with no choice but to pack his things and follow Sarah back to the group home, having to say his goodbyes to everyone, whispering promises to Gavin that he would see him as often as he could, telling Ray to never stop being who he was, and reminding Lindsay that he would be there to cheer her on at her first show, they knew it would be okay.

Because Michael did find a way to leave one night for Lindsay's play. Gavin had saved a seat for him and they sat next to each other, hardly able to stop smiling every time Lindsay was speaking. Ray actually did bring roses, but he only throw petals at the stage from one of the roses. Apparently he didn't want to ruin _all_ of them. That wouldn't be fair.

And Michael had laughed about it all the way back to the group home, even when he was caught sneaking back in and got in trouble, making the other kids staying there laugh. But he shrugged it off and went back to his room without a word.

He was annoyed. He had _found_ his _happiness_ and they had taken it from him. Now they expected him to act as though it didn't matter, and that annoyed him. He did get that they were doing their best to keep all of the foster children safe and comfortable, and yes, he felt safe, but he wasn't comfortable, and he wasn't satisfied. No one could blame him, either, because they knew he wasn't happy.

Sometimes, none of them knew of the nights he left to see Gavin, but sometimes, they did notice he was gone and would go searching for him. They never found him at the Ramseys, though. He would never allow them to find him there, but they would find wandering around in downtown Austin, and they would take him back, too tired to argue with him.

Things would eventually be back to the way they were, he reminded himself. He would get his happiness back. He was sure of it.

Because on the night of May 22nd, after Michael had been put into a new foster home with a whole new family that consisted mainly of kids under the age of twelve, he had found a way out and made the trip to the Ramsey's house. He crawled in through the window he had many times before to find Gavin deep in a sleep, and with a smile, he walked over to the side of the bed and leaned down.

Admittedly, the last time he had seen Gavin was the night before he was told he was going to live with some family in New Braunfels, and that just made sneaking out to see Gavin impossible. That had been four months ago. But on the 22nd, he made sure it would be possible. Thank goodness for public transportation, and thank goodness the people he now lived with (which were really nice people, but they weren't no Geoff or Griffon, or Ray, Gavin, or Lindsay) were heavy sleepers.

So now here he was.

Gavin's phone was resting next to him and Michael quietly pressed a button on it to make it light up. It was just one minute until midnight and the second that minute was up, Michael kissed Gavin's cheek as he said softly, “Happy birthday, Gavin.” And he continued to kiss all over Gavin's face until the boy was groaning and opening his eyes, but the annoyance he felt from being woken was gone when he saw those brown eyes staring down at him.

“Guess who's finally seventeen? Holy shit, _you,_ Gavin,” Michael whispered, failing to stop smiling.

The corners of Gavin's mouth rose crookedly and he cupped Michael's face. “I'm starting my birthday with a gorgeous boy standing over me. Hmm, not bad, but I think I know what could make this better.”

“What?” Michael raised an eyebrow.

Gavin bit down on his lower lip as he moved his hands to Michael's shoulders and pulled him down until he was practically lying on top of Gavin, and then Gavin rolled them over. Michael laughed quietly, almost sounding like a giggle, and shook his head.

“Much better,” Gavin said before leaning down and kissing Michael lightly on the lips. Then he sighed. “Honestly, I was getting worried that you have forgotten about me. It's been a while since I've seen you or heard from you.”

“Being in a different city kind of makes it difficult, but I'm sorry,” Michael told him.

Gavin frowned a little, his fingers finding themselves in Michael's curls. “How is it there?” Michael shrugged as he thought about it.

“There's an eleven year old boy that reminds me a lot of myself, mainly because he's been through of the shit I went through, and it just... it fucking sucks to know there's other kids like me... like us. When I first got there, he was really quiet and hated being around everyone, but I've been _kind of_ taking him under my wing, and I think he's warming up to me.”

Gavin was smiling at that. “That's what you do best, Michael Jones.” Michael rolled his eyes and leaned up to feel those soft lips against his own again.

“I miss it here, though,” he whispered against Gavin's lips, “I miss you. I miss Ray. I miss Lindsay. I miss Geoff and Griffon. How are they?” Before Gavin could respond, his bedroom door opened and they froze, but when it was Ray who peeked in, followed by Lindsay, Gavin scoffed.

“I guess you could ask them yourself,” Gavin said, looking down at Michael with a smirk.

“I told you he would come tonight,” Ray whispered to Lindsay.

“Come on in, you two,” Gavin told them, rolling off of Michael.

“We don't want to intrude,” Lindsay was beginning to say, but she was cut off by Ray running in.

“I do. Man, I've missed Michael,” he said as he sat down on the bed. “You didn't find other people to replace us, did you?”

“Nah,” Michael shook his head. “How is everyone else at school?”

“Uh, Barb and Chris actually, uh, started dating. I mean, they aren't official, but they're kind of something,” Lindsay told him.

“Are you kidding me? God damnit, I _hate_ not having a phone anymore. I'm actually considering making a Skype account so I can keep in touch with those assholes.”

“I don't know why you haven't yet,” Ray said. “Get to it, Michael.”

“I fucking will.”

“Arryn and Miles are still going strong,” Lindsay went on, and Ray nodded. “Meg, Kara and I are just having fun together.”

“Kdin is still Kdin,” Gavin explained.

“Gavin's still Gavin,” Ray teased, getting Gavin to stick his tongue out at him. Ray threw his hands up and looked at Michael. “See?” Michael grinned as he looked at Gavin.

“Blaine is like our football hero,” Lindsay said, “But seriously, him, Kyle, and Chris miss you so much. You have to go see them or talk to them soon, or else they'll never stop crying.”

“Same with Kerry,” Ray added. “He's in one of my classes and we're always gushing about you,” he winked.

Michael barely smiled, and it faltered quickly. “I hate that I'm missing so much here. Everyone is moving on with their lives, and I can't be here to see it.” He sighed deeply as he looked away.

Gavin leaned closer to him and kissed his the side of his head. “I didn't give you permission to be sad on my birthday.”

“Oh, shit, that's right!” Ray yelled as he jumped up. “It's midnight and holy shit! I didn't even think about it. I thought it was still the 22nd, but fuck yeah, it's May 23rd now! GAVIN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” And Michael and Gavin shielded themselves as they saw Ray jumping at them. Even being the small guy he was, when Ray landed on them, it made them lose their breath momentarily.

Lindsay stood aside and laughed so hard that she was beginning to have difficulty speaking. Geoff and Griffon opened their eyes at that sound and turned their heads to look at each other.

“I think we have a visitor,” Griffon whispered.

“Yeah, one that's not allowed here,” Geoff told her.

“What should we do?”

Geoff opened his mouth, but he didn't say anything as he listened to the way they all started laughing. He sighed and smiled at Griffon, “Go back to sleep.”

“Geoff, he'll get in trouble if he stays here. He has to go back home.”

“He _is_ home.”

After they managed to stop laughing, they all took deep breathes and smiled at each other. Lindsay sat down next to Michael on the bed, right where Ray's legs were hanging, and Michael turned to look at Gavin again.

“There's something I need to ask you,” he said quietly, even though Lindsay and Ray heard clearly.

Gavin rose his eyebrows. “What is it?”

Michael sat up a little, attempting to push Ray a little away from them before cupping Gavin's face. “Being away from you has had me thinking a lot, and I've come to realize that I don't want us to ever drift apart. I don't want to ever lose you. I've lost so much, but I gained more than I ever thought I could – friends, family,” he glanced at Lindsay and Ray for that, then back at Gavin, “you.” Gavin smiled softly.

“So, Gavin, I want to ask you, if you will... fuck,” Michael sighed and Ray's eyes widened.

“No, no, don't fuck. _Please,_ don't,” Ray frantically said, waving his hands around.

“Ray, that's not what I meant-”

“No, man. It's cool, you guys can do that, but Lindsay and I-”

“Shut the _fuck_ up, Ray.”

Lindsay helped by placing her hand against Ray's mouth and Ray finally obliged. Michael huffed and looked at Gavin once again.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” He asked it so casually that he had actually forgotten how nervous he was about it, but when Gavin gaped at him, he felt the color drain from his face. “I-I mean, I know that... maybe it's different now. _Everything's_ different, you know? Like, my _feelings_ for you are different. In a good way, though! Before, I didn't get what they were. I just knew I liked you a lot, but I didn't understand why you made me act the way I was and-” he was cut off by Gavin's lips being pressed against his own.

Ray pretended to gag and Lindsay could have slapped him, but she sighed happily at the two instead. Gavin and Michael pulled away, remembering they weren't alone, and they turned to look at Lindsay.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “That was just so sweet.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and smiled at Michael. “That means yes.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah, I kind of got that.”

“Oh, _did_ you?”

“Yes, Gavin. You don't just kiss someone after they ask you that.”

Gavin smirked as he crossed his arms. “I remember someone doing the exact thing to me once.”

Michael gasped. “When the fuck did you ask me to be your boyfriend? You are a fucking liar!”

“No! But you kissed me and then said you didn't want us to be anything!”

Geoff and Griffon opened their eyes again as they heard the yelling, but as they looked at each other, they smiled, knowing that yelling meant no harm.

“Oh, _Gavin,_ that was before I realized how much you mean to me!” Michael kept on shouting. “I'm _trying_ here!”

“I know you are!”

Michael widened his eyes as he stared at Gavin, being silent for a moment as he tried comprehending what Gavin had just said. And then he was yelling again, “You _know_?!”

Ray looked up at Lindsay, “Aw, their first fight as a couple. How cute.” Lindsay smiled at him.

“Yes!” Gavin shouted, mostly up at the ceiling. He locked eyes with Michael and almost smiled, “And I _love_ that about you!”

“Well, _fucking_ _good!_ Because I love you!”

“Well, I love you, too!” Gavin was definitely having trouble not smiling now after shouting that out, and when he saw the look of realization on Michael's face, he grinned. “And I always will.”

Heat rushed to Michael's cheeks, but he smiled as well, though he shook it off and furrowed his eyebrows at Gavin to continue being _mad._ “Good!” He sternly said, but Gavin merely laughed as he leaned in and kissed him again.

And they knew they would be just fine, because even after all they've been through, all the nightmares they had to live, all the times they felt too broken to mend, and even after having Michael taken from them, they still found their ways back to each other, and they would continue doing so.

No matter what, they would always be _together_ – just like it was meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand the end. Whoa. So, the purpose of that ending was to show that when you want something, you can get it. Even if the odds are against it (Michael being taken away), if you want something, go get it (Michael finding his way to them, because they fucking belong together). Go find your happiness, because no one can ever truly take that away from you. If they dare, show them how wrong they are. 
> 
> So, I hope you guys liked it, ahhhhhh. I had such Mavin feels while writing that fake fight at the end. I was just imagining them arguing like that and I was like "Aw, you cute shits." Thanks to everyone who read and everything. You are all awesome!!! 
> 
> Thank you guys, again!!  
> OHHHH and final song, holy crap. The final song is "From The Wreckage, Build A Home" by The Wind and The Wave, because _they're built to last, they built to laaaaast_. The playlist is officially complete!!! I love you guys so much.


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